Shadows (17 page)

Rafa is flanked by a huge guy and a caramel-skinned woman. They glance at each other, drop their duffel bags, and shift into fighter stances. Both are in loose black pants and t-shirts.

My brain is slow to change gears, still preoccupied with Jason. I get to my feet. I have no idea what history I have with these two. A heads-up from Rafa would have been nice.

‘This is Zak and Ez.’ Rafa glances at Jason and me then back at Jason. He raises his eyebrows at me in a silent question, which I ignore. ‘And that,’ he says, gesturing to Jason, ‘is the most elusive bastard on the planet.’

Zak and Ez give Jason a quick once-over but are more interested in me for the moment. Zak is at least half a
head taller than Rafa, with shoulders almost as wide as a hellion’s and skin so dark it shines. Unnerving pale blue eyes look out at me through a shock of curly black hair.

Ez is tall and slim with brown eyes and full lips. Silken hair hangs over one shoulder in a thick plait. She hasn’t got a trace of make-up on, and still her skin is flawless—except for the four thick scars that start halfway down her left cheek and run the length of her neck to her collarbone.

‘Hey,’ I say, trying not to stare.

She tilts her head. ‘You don’t know us?’ Her voice is beautiful.

I look from one to the other. ‘No.’

‘But you remember Jude?’

‘Yeah.’ I pause. ‘Well, a version of him, anyway.’

Ez’s eyes fall to the new scar on my neck. ‘Can I see?’

I glance at Rafa, and he nods. She comes over, smelling like oranges and flowers. She keeps checking my face, like I might change my mind and take a swing at her.

‘Daniel let a hellion drink from you?’

I nod.

She lets her breath out. ‘What does that mean?’

‘That he’s a prick?’ I say.

‘You know you were once in love with him?’

‘I think it’s safe to say the love’s gone.’

She turns to Rafa. ‘Did you do this?’

‘No, Ez, I really didn’t.’ He’s still watching me closely,
a slight frown creasing his forehead. When Ez looks away, he mouths, ‘What’s going on?’ I shake my head and that telltale muscle twitches in his jaw.

‘Well, whoever did,’ Ez says to Rafa, ‘you’re in their debt. And you.’ She holds out her hand to Jason. ‘Welcome to the circus, ah…?’

‘Jason.’ He shakes her hand once, and lets go.

She offers him a slow smile. She is
beautiful,
scars or no scars.

‘Was that always your name?’

‘No.’

‘Jason means healer, doesn’t it? In the Greek—or is it Hebrew?’

‘Both. How did you know Simon wasn’t still here?’

Her smile falters. ‘Who?’

‘The barman,’ Rafa says. ‘We called in to my place on the way here, saw him ride past.’

Zak picks up the duffel bags and throws them on the table. They clatter. He unzips them and pulls out swords and knives, laying them side by side. ‘You know how to use any of these?’ he asks Jason. His voice is deep and gruff.

‘No,’ Jason says.

‘We’re not really using swords on each other, are we?’ Ez asks Rafa.

He shrugs. ‘Depends what they bring to the party. We’re not going in unarmed.’

Zak grabs a curved sword like the one I used at the Sanctuary, only this one’s in a leather scabbard. He makes sure I’m paying attention, and then tosses it to me. I catch it by the hilt. I slip the blade out and test its weight, again surprised by its familiarity.

‘That was Jude’s training katana,’ Zak says.

The black leather straps around the hilt are scuffed, but the blade gleams so that I can see my face in it. I can’t imagine my brother using it to slice someone open. I can’t imagine using it against a person.

‘Who do you fight with these?’

‘Hellions, demons…the humans who worship them.’ Rafa’s not looking at me when he speaks. He knows something happened while he was gone. He rummages around in the bag and pulls out a hunting knife.

‘And hellions are different to demons?’

‘Your dreams were short on detail.’ He slips the knife out of its sheath and checks one side then the other. ‘Hellions are the attack dogs and demons are their masters.’

‘Demons used to be angels, so they can take human form, like angels can,’ Ez says. ‘Hellions always look like hellions.’

I remember something from when I was in the cage.

‘Who’s Zarael?’

‘Where’d you hear that name?’ Rafa asks.

‘The Sanctuary. Daisy mentioned him.’

‘Zarael was hell’s gatekeeper until the Fallen escaped. Then he was torn apart by his demon brothers, put back together and banished to the fringes of hell, along with his inner circle and pack of hell-turds. The only way they can get back in is if they deliver Semyaza and the two hundred in chains.’ He glances down at my bare legs. ‘You need to change.’

‘Hang on, I’m not finished—’

‘Do you want a crash course on demonology, or do you want to get your friend back?’ Rafa repacks the weapons.

‘Don’t start acting like an arsehole again now you’ve got an audience.’

‘Did you or did you not ask for my help?’

‘I didn’t realise it was a choice between saving Mags and understanding what’s going on. Maybe if I’d known a little more, I would have made sure Maggie wasn’t in danger in the first place.’

‘Maybe she wouldn’t have been in danger if you hadn’t had your tongue down the barman’s throat.’

‘Oh, for fuck’s sake, get over it.’

Ez smiles. ‘This is just like the old days. I’ve actually missed this.’

Jason clears his throat. ‘Speaking of Mags…’ He gives me a meaningful look and then says to Rafa, ‘Simon’s gone to get maps and a four-wheel drive. He knows a back way—’

‘I bet he does.’

I can’t be bothered arguing with Rafa about Simon’s involvement. I’m halfway across the kitchen when I remember I’m still holding the katana. I offer the hilt to Zak. He shakes his head, making his curls sway across his forehead.

‘Keep it until we find yours.’ Like we’re talking about a tennis racquet.

‘Could you look after it for now?’ I hand it to him again, and this time he takes it.

In my room, I close the door and lean against it, waiting for the churning in my stomach to stop. Why didn’t Jason tell me the whole story the night he dropped the bombshell? I can’t stand that he knows more about my family history than I do. Or that Rafa was right about him hiding something. What else hasn’t he told me?

There’s a soft knock on my door.

‘Gabe. Can I come in?’ It’s Ez.

‘Sure.’ I cross the room and sit on the bed, needing space for whatever this conversation is going to be.

Ez closes the door behind her, and spends a good minute checking out my room. I can’t tell what she’s thinking. I lean over and flick on the bedside lamp. Darkness isn’t far away now.

Ez finishes her inventory of the room. ‘You look… different.’

‘How?’ I’m still trying not to stare at her scar, although I’m sure mine’s just as distracting.

‘I don’t know,’ she says. ‘Softer. It suits you.’

‘I don’t feel softer.’

She straightens the pile of books on my desk. ‘Rafa says you’ve been here nearly a year? What’s it like?’

‘What’s what like?’

‘Living a normal life.’

‘I wouldn’t know. Nothing’s felt normal since the accident.’

‘But until we all showed up…You were happy, right?’

‘You mean apart from the grief eating me from the inside out?’

She nods.

I think about it—about running on the beach, and Rick’s, and laughing with Maggie. ‘There have been moments. But only a year of my memory was actually real. The rest of my so-called normal life never happened.’

Ez sits down next to me. ‘But what a gift.’

‘I don’t consider watching my brother lose his head in a car accident a gift.’ I grab a pair of jeans from the pile on the desk and start to change. ‘Whether it was real or not, I’ve had to get through every day since without him.’ My voice cracks a little. ‘And I know that in the
real
world we were apart for a decade, but that’s not the life I remember. How could you call any of that a gift?’

She shifts on the bed so she can face me. ‘It’s a gift because you don’t remember what it’s like to be part of the Rephaim. To always have some demon or hell-spawn to fight. To be immortal but to never have a life of your own.’

‘Isn’t that why you left the Sanctuary—to get a life?’ I pull on a navy t-shirt. Ironically, I don’t own a lot of black. ‘How’s that working out?’

Ez gives me a tight smile. ‘I’m living the dream.’ She pauses then points to my hiking boots by the door. ‘You’ll want those.’

I sit on the floor to put them on.

‘What did you mean about Rafa owing whoever changed my memories?’

‘You really don’t remember?’

I grit my teeth. ‘No, and that’s the last time I’m going to say it.’

She fiddles with her hair band, tightens it. ‘You were meant to come with us when we left the Sanctuary, but at the last minute you changed your mind.’

‘But I thought—didn’t Rafa run off to be with Mya, and everyone else just followed?’

‘Who told you that?’

‘Daisy.’

Her laugh is short, cold. ‘Of course she’s still clinging to that lie. It’s easier than the thought Jude left because he stopped believing Nathaniel’s propaganda. Jude had a
huge fight with Nathaniel. There had never been anything like it, and it forced everyone to take a side. You stood with us. Daisy didn’t know what to do. She’d been in love with Jude for years—’

‘What?’ I interrupt. ‘Are you sure?’

‘Worst kept secret in the Sanctuary.’

‘No, I mean the fight with Nathaniel. What was it over?’

Ez sits cross-legged on the bed, boots and all. ‘Jude demanded that Nathaniel summon an archangel.’

‘Why?’

‘Nathaniel claims he’s following orders from the Garrison—that they’re the ones pulling our strings, guiding us towards some great destiny. Jude got tired of hearing it secondhand. He wanted to hear it from the source.’

‘What happened?’

‘Nathaniel refused. Said, “You don’t summon the Host of Heaven,” and Jude told him that if he didn’t we were leaving.’

‘But what did Jude think was going to happen if an archangel turned up?’

Ez leans back on her hands. ‘If he didn’t get struck down? He had a question or two. Like why we had to prove ourselves to a Garrison that’s never shown any interest in us. Why we have to find the Fallen and hand them over.’

‘What else would you do with them?’

‘A few of us think that after a century and a half, we’ve earned the right to know our fathers.’

‘And Nathaniel doesn’t want that to happen?’

‘He’s scared we’ll join forces with them. Betray him and the Garrison to keep our fathers out of hell. Of course, Mya has done nothing to dispel that myth.’

‘Is that what she wants to happen?’

Ez gives the smallest of shrugs. ‘I don’t think Mya knows what she wants half the time.’

‘I take it Nathaniel didn’t summon an archangel.’

‘No. And Jude left, along with everyone who supported him.’

I jam my feet into my boots. ‘I supported him?’

‘You did.’

‘So why didn’t I go?’

‘To this day, none of us knows. Not even Jude knew. One minute you were all fired up, and the next you told us you were staying.’

I absorb that. ‘So Jude was the reason everyone left. Not Mya?’

Ez sighs. ‘Mya had quite an impact when Nathaniel brought her into the Sanctuary. She shook things up for sure, and there’s no doubt she was a catalyst for what followed. But there was unrest in the ranks long before she came along. Mya has been blamed for the rift—and,
believe me, she’s quick to take the credit for it—but it wasn’t that simple.’

‘But Rafa and Mya were together when they left?’ I wish this question wasn’t so important.

‘Yes, but you never cared whose bed he was in. You and he were never…you know. You were our best fighters. You bickered all the time, but you brought out the best in each other as warriors. Going into battle next to you turned him on more than any woman could.’

I give her a dubious look and she laughs. ‘Maybe a slight exaggeration, but he really did love it.’ Her smile fades. ‘And you and Jude were inseparable. That’s why it made no sense that you would take the opposite side to either one of them—let alone both. And then when they heard you’d become closer with Daniel…’

I finish tying my laces and drop my hands to the splintering floor. ‘It’s a mess, isn’t it?’

She doesn’t nod. She doesn’t need to.

‘It got worse after you and Jude disappeared last year. We thought he’d gone back to the Sanctuary to be with you. And when we heard you’d both died…Honestly, I thought Rafa was going to harm himself. He wouldn’t talk to anyone for weeks. He drifted in and out of our operations, and then a few months ago he lost interest completely and stopped answering calls. We only knew he was still alive because he’d send Zak an occasional text.
When he told Zak about the possibility you’d resurfaced, there was no doubt he’d come looking for you—’

A fist bangs on the door. ‘Gabe,’ Rafa barks. ‘Your boyfriend’s here. Get your arse into gear.’

‘Yeah.’ I get to my feet. ‘I’m the wind beneath his wings.’

Simon is standing in the kitchen near Jason, his eyes locked on Zak. He’s put on a faded dark-green t-shirt and jeans. A map is open on the table, which Rafa is bent over.

Simon turns from Zak to take in Ez, and then me. I’m guessing no one’s bothered with introductions.

‘These are friends of Rafa’s—Ez and Zak.’

He frowns. ‘Sorry?’

Ez’s face is turned away from Simon. He hasn’t seen the scars yet. ‘Esther and Zachariah,’ she says.

‘You don’t look like an Esther.’ There’s a flush of red across his neck.

Rafa looks up from the map long enough to let me know he didn’t miss Simon’s reaction.

I ignore his smirk and double-check that my t-shirt is
still covering the bite mark, but it doesn’t matter: Simon has spotted Ez’s scars, and they’ve got his full attention.

‘The barman has finally proven himself useful.’ Rafa stabs a finger on the page. ‘This track should get us close enough. As long as Pretty Boy doesn’t have the same map, we’ve got a good chance of surprising those arse clowns.’

‘Let’s do it then.’ I wish I was as confident as I sound.

Rafa turns to Simon. ‘You got room for everyone in that rust bucket outside?’

‘I just have to set up the back seat.’

‘Now would be good.’

‘I’ll help him,’ Zak says, and they leave together. He’ll probably also have a quiet chat with Simon about staring at Ez’s scars.

‘How are we going to know which cabin they’re in?’ I shut the kitchen window.

‘We’ll know,’ Rafa says.

‘I thought you couldn’t track each other.’

‘We can’t,’ Ez answers for him. ‘But if we get close to other Rephaim, we can usually sense them if they’ve shifted recently.’

‘How?’

‘It’s hard to explain,’ Ez says. ‘A funny feeling in the chest, or the stomach.’

I remember that moment in the forest a few days ago, when I knew I wasn’t alone. The day Rafa shadowed me
through the trees. My body had known there was a threat before I saw him.

‘We’ve got to get near enough to feel it,’ Ez says, ‘so we need at least a rough idea of where someone is.’

‘How come Rafa didn’t sense Jason was in town then, when he arrived?’

Ez frowns at Jason. ‘Did you
drive
here?’

He gives a self-conscious shrug. ‘Seemed less conspicuous.’

‘How did Taya and Malachi find me?’ I ask, but I already know the answer. ‘Rafa was already here, shifting all over town.’

‘Hey.’ Rafa throws one of the bags of weapons over his shoulder. ‘You’re the one who put that story online, not me. I had no idea they’d followed me here. How was I to know the Sanctuary had nerds stalking me in cyberspace?’

Jason gets between us and grabs the other bag. ‘Any chance we could discuss this later?’

‘Good call,’ Ez says, and she and Jason leave the kitchen side by side.

‘For the record,’ I say to Rafa, ‘I wasn’t blaming you for anything.’

‘That’s a refreshing change.’ He doesn’t look at me as we go down the hallway. ‘You want to tell me what you and Goldilocks were talking about before I got back?’

‘Not right now.’

I don’t know what—if anything—I’ll tell him, but I need time to get my head around it first. At the very least, to finish the conversation with Jason.

On the street, Simon and Zak are still fussing around in the back of the jeep. The sky is heavy purple now, and a few stars are already out over the water. I grab Rafa’s t-shirt when he’s a couple of steps down the stairs, and he turns to face me. We’re at eye level. There’s jasmine in the air, from the garden next door. A shout from the road.

‘Look,’ I whisper. ‘Are you going to stay pissed off at me all night?’

His face is lit yellow by the light at the door. He doesn’t say anything.

‘I don’t want to go back to the Sanctuary with Daniel.’

He still doesn’t speak, and I can’t read his expression.

‘I mean, no question, the first priority is to get Mags, but the second is to keep me here, right?’

‘That’s the plan.’

I push a stray hair out of my face. ‘But—’

‘Gabe,’ Rafa says, and I bite my lip. ‘I
know.
I’ll take care of it.’ He leans closer. His t-shirt is twisted between my fingers. ‘It’s been a long time since you asked me for anything. I’m not going to fuck it up.’

‘Any chance you could ease up on being an arsehole for a while as well?’

‘That I can’t promise.’

He makes no effort to move away.

‘The bus is leaving, people!’ Ez calls from the road.

‘I’m scared,’ I say.

I’m sure the old Gabe never said those words before going into battle, but I need Rafa to remember I’m not her.

‘The last time you were scared, you separated a hellturd from its head. I don’t think fear’s a bad thing for you at this point.’

‘That’s easy for you to say.’ I let go of his shirt. His fingers slide around my elbow to keep me from moving past him.

‘When it’s happening,’ he says, ‘don’t think. Just go with your instincts.’

I try to hang on to that thought. It’s not only the fear of being dragged back to the Sanctuary that’s scaring me.

What if I let everyone down?