Shadows (5 page)

“
What
happened, Mom?
”

Helena turned away, looking
at the wall. In that moment, she looked fragile, just the shell of
the woman that had raised Susan to be so resourceful.

“
We
’
re not that different from you and
Charlie,
”
her father began, putting the tin box to one
side.
“
I know it
’
s hard to believe,
as we look so much older, and we
’
re so different and
conservative in our outlook, but don
’
t be deceived, our
days in the shadows weren
’
t that different
from yours.

“
Once, your
mother stood roughly where you are right now, having pretty much
the same conversation with grandma. Oh, the specifics differ, but
each generation is the same. We looked for hope. We wanted to
change the future. The young see only light, but bright lights cast
the darkest shadows.
”

Her father
bit his lip. Susan didn
’
t say anything. She
didn
’
t want to interrupt his train of thought. Even her
mother was silent. Helena turned and walked over to her husband and
rested her hands gently on his shoulders.

Susan was
shaken, she
’
d never spoken up to
her mother like this before, and to see where the conversation had
gone left her with a feeling of uncertainty. Life in the silo was
regimented around routines and predictability. Schedules governed
everything, ensuring certainty. To see her mother wracked with
doubts undermined her own confidence.

Her mother was on the verge
of tears. She held them back, but Susan could see past the facade.
Her father, though, looked as strong as ever.

“
I started my
shadowing Down Deep, working as a miner.
”

Susan was
stunned. Her father was a porter, he was the reason she went into
porting. Susan had earned her love of the stairs from following her
father as a child. He
’
d be carrying some
heavy load from the local porting waypoint and
she
’
d sneak after him, only for a couple of levels, but
long enough to develop an itch for a lifestyle that took her away
from the confines of a single level. As she got older,
she
’
d trail him ten to twenty levels at a time, always
staying just out of sight on the curve of the stairs, only to hear
him call her name after a few minutes. He always knew.
He
’
d give her a few chits and a dummy run, things like
porting a handkerchief back to her Mom or a scrap of paper to a
neighbor.

Susan
couldn
’
t imagine her father as a miner. That would have
meant a life lived largely below Supply, down in the greasy smells
of the Deep. Her life, her education and friends would have been
vastly different, and that struck her as profound, surprising her
that something so simple as her father
’
s career could have
had such an impact on the outcome of her life.

“
What
happened?
”
she asked.

“
We found a
vein, down below the refinery. We
’
d been digging for
coal, but we found gold.
”

“
Gold,
”
she said, her eyes lighting
up.

“
Gold,
”
he repeated.
“
Just a thin
strand running horizontally, but the vein could have yielded much
more, only to cut back into the vein would have taken us under the
refinery. We were so deep we could feel heat coming off the
rocks.
”

“
Heat?
”
she asked.

“
Yeah, the
silo vents only go so deep circulating cool air. Down in the
deepest of the deep, you sweat without ever lifting a
pickax.
”

“
What
happened?
”

“
The Order is
clear. There
’
s only one direction
in which exploration can go.
”

“
But you
didn
’
t listen,
”
Susan said, filling in the
blanks.

“
No. We dug
for about twenty meters and broke through into an
antechamber.
”

Susan
couldn
’
t believe what she was hearing. She leaned back
on the kitchen table behind her. Her legs felt weak. She shifted
her weight, sitting up on the metal table, trying to hide her
shaking hands by gripping the edge of the table.

“
At first we
thought it was a natural cavern, something carved out by ground
water, but this was man-made. There was a machine in there, a
digger. It was massive. With something like this we could carve out
another silo. Best I understand it, this was the original digger,
this is how they built the silo way back when. Funny thing is,
though, she
’
s set at an angle.
At first, I thought she was pointing up, but on closer inspection
we realized we didn
’
t understand the
machinery, with all its grinding teeth. She was set on an angle
downward, pointing into the forbidden area, where no one is allowed
to dig.
”

For Susan,
this was the stuff of legend. She couldn
’
t get enough
detail.

“
What
happened next?
”

Helena spoke,
her voice hushed as though she thought the walls had ears.
“
We were courting. We
’
d been seeing each
other for months.
”

Helena choked
on her words, forcing herself on,
“
Your father was held
in the deputies office on one-twenty for almost a month after the
dig, but the mechs in the Down Deep lobbied for him. Some spoke of
a fight, of starting a revolution, but cooler heads prevailed. For
a while, there was talk of cleaning, but the mayor back then
settled on privileges as punishment. We were told our allotment
would be one. We were told to be thankful.
”

Tears streamed down her
cheeks.

“
We should
have been allowed two, at least. Some people get three, but for us,
there would only ever be one.
”

Her father
added,
“
And that one was you.
”

“
Charlie
’
s a nice
boy,
”
Helena added.
“
But
he
’
s rushing headlong to change the silo. You
can
’
t change the silo. The silo changes
you.
”

Susan was quiet.

“
We
’
re worried about you,
”
her father
said.
“
Don
’
t mistake our care
for anger. We only want what
’
s best for you.
You
’
re young. Time seems as though it will go on forever,
but it doesn
’
t. You cannot relive
a single day. You can retrace the steps in the grand staircase, but
you cannot retrace the steps you take in life. You get one shot at
this, and only one.
”

Susan breathed deeply. Her
eyes glanced around the tiny one-room apartment. Curtains sectioned
off the sleeping areas to one side. The stove was old. Rust ate
away at the kitchen bench. A door led to the shower and toilet, but
the bathroom was more of a closet than an actual room, and for the
first time Susan understood why her parents could never get ahead.
They were still being punished. They were being kept in their place
by the system. They might live in the Up Top, but they were forced
to live like they were Down Deep.

“
I need to
go,
”
she said softly, getting up off the table and grabbing
her jacket.

Her mother went to run to
her, but her father held out his hand, signaling to Helena that she
should let her go.

As Susan stood at the door,
she looked back at her parents, seeing them as she had never seen
them before. They were no longer guardians, they were peers,
friends, trusted confidants. They were older, but their love was
one born out of care and concern.

A single word slipped from
her lips.

“
Thanks.
”

Chapter 04: Sheriff

Susan was
late. She struck up a light jog as she climbed the helical stairs
winding their way around the Great Fall. There were only six levels
between her parent
’
s apartment and the
top floor with the cafeteria, the sheriff
’
s office and
the wall-screen. Charlie wouldn
’
t mind the wait.
He
’
d probably be staring at the screen, trying to spot
some subtle feature previously overlooked.

Most teens
dated in the garment district on the fourteenth floor. There was so
much machinery there it was easy to get lost, and lost is what most
teen couples wanted. They
’
d curl up in the
warm cutting stations and make out. The garment bins were softer
than any mattress. Security would sweep the floor a couple of times
in the early evening, but that only added to the sense of
adventure. Making out in the racks, trying not to giggle, getting
loose threads caught in your hair, these were memories she loved.
Charlie, though, preferred the quiet of the kitchen. The stainless
steel bench-tops were cold and hard, hardly romantic, but their
romance was more than the thrill of forbidden love. Besides,
afterwards, Charlie would raid the fridge looking for rice pudding.
Charlie was different, rebellious, and Susan found him
intoxicating. As she jogged up the stairs she
couldn
’
t help drawing the parallel with her mother,
noticing for the first time how alike they were.

Susan ran up
the stairs harder and quicker than she thought. By the time she
rounded the final bend she was out of breath. The night lights cast
long shadows. The cafeteria was silent. She stepped out onto the
floor and bent forward to catch her breath. Charlie was sitting on
one of the tables looking at her with his back to the screen. For
him, that was a big deal. He
’
d been waiting. She
felt special.

“
Hey,
Susan,
”
he said, getting up from the table and walking
over to her. He had a bag slung over his shoulder.

“
Hi,
”
Susan said, forcing out that one
word. In some ways, she was glad to be out of breath. She
couldn
’
t tell him about her parents, not yet, she
needed time to come to grips with that for herself. Deep down, she
felt as though their confession was giving both her and Charlie a
chance to change course, to avoid a similar mistake. She wanted to
tell him, but she didn't want to blurt about some secret chamber
and mysterious machine without making sense. There was a reason her
dad had told her about his misadventure, and it wasn't out of idle
gossip. She didn't want to say anything to Charlie until she was
sure she could convey the right heart and intent, or he'd simply
want to see the machine and miss the point.

“
I thought
porters were fit,
”
Charlie said, baiting her. He rested
his hand on her back as she straightened up.

“
Any time you
wanna race, you just let me know.
”

That called
his bluff. Races were a big deal with the teens. The adults frowned
on races, particularly because the teens tend to bet and gambling
was a taboo. Susan suspect gambling was a token taboo, something
that didn
’
t really matter but had been set off limits
precisely to give ornery young teens something benign to rebel
against.

“
How about
twenty stories,
”
Susan continued.
“
And
I
’
ll give you a five level
head-start.
”

“
Oh, now
you
’
re talking,
”
Charlie
replied.
“
Those are good odds.
”

“
You
wouldn
’
t stand a chance.
”

Charlie laughed.

“
No,
”
he admitted.
“
I
wouldn
’
t. I
’
d give it a go
though. But I have to admit, if I was putting chits on the finish
line, they
’
d all be on you.
”