Shadows in the Silence (7 page)

When she spoke, her voice seemed to seep through my ears, eyes, and mouth like warm milk and honey, making my brain fuzzy, my limbs heavy and tired.
“Audes provocare mei?”

“Antares—”

“Non loqueris nomen meum.”
She cut him off sharply with a wave of her hand. “You swine,
vermis
, you insect of earth and rot.” Even when speaking English, her voice was edged with an accent, the crippled remnants of a language long since dead. Her bindings stretched and groaned, refusing to allow another inch of freedom. “I am the Grigori Lord of the West. You dishonor me by breathing in my forest. Be gone!”

Cadan flinched at her voice. “I have not come for myself. I beseech you on behalf of the archangel Gabriel.”

The ageless Grigori laughed, her voice making my spine shiver and heartbeat slow. I could taste sugar in my mouth with every one of her words. “
Tu me delectas
. I know who Gabriel is and she would have nothing to do with you, demonic spawn. Leave me in peace.”

“Gabriel is here now. With me. In human form.”

Antares’s head tilted to the side inquisitively. She looked past him and her fire eyes met mine. It felt like her gaze was digging straight into my soul. “And so she is. What a delicate thing you are now, Strength of God. Have you come to destroy your Fallen sister at long last?”

“No,” I said, swallowing my fear. “I need your help.”

Her lips curved slightly, barely a smile. “My help? How curious.”

“My Guardian is dying. He was poisoned by a demonic reaper’s venom.”

Antares looked at me without emotion. “Your Guardian is a reaper?” she asked, her voice lilting.

I nodded. “Of your bloodline. He’s angelic.”

She said nothing at first. Then she raised a hand and beckoned to me. “Come forth then, mortal archangel.”

I took a hesitant step forward with a glance at Cadan. His expression was gentle and comforting, and he gave me a small amount of courage. She grasped my wrist and yanked me forward. I cried out in surprise. Her fingers were hot and they moved up and down my arm as if she was trying to feel every vein and tendon beneath my skin. She touched my hand and opened my palm flat.

“Your Guardian,” she said musically. “
Amas eum
. You love him. This reaper. He protects you at the risk of his own life. How very noble of him—and how very unwise of you to come to me.”

The ice in her voice made tremors of fear stab through my inside. “Will you help me?”

“I know of demonic venom very well. Whoever poisoned your reaper Guardian wanted you both to suffer long. This is a cruel death.”

I brightened. “Then you can save him!”

“I can,” she said dismissively. She stepped back and her power pushed into my body, propelling me away from her. “But I will not. I do not see the benefit in it.”

My veins ran cold as fear settled once again on me. “But you
can
save him! Why won’t you help me? Just tell me how
to cure him. You don’t have to do anything. Just tell me the antidote. Please!”

She watched me silently, her brow furrowing with curiosity. “Who are you, Gabriel? How far you have fallen, my sister, to feel so much? I barely recognize you. Your human soul has diseased you.”

“No!” I shouted back. “Don’t you see the difference in us? I was like you before I became human. Now I have a heart, a soul, and all I want to do is protect the ones I love. Your selfishness is your own disease, Antares!”

She laughed, her voice musical as it rustled the autumn leaves. “Go now, Gabriel,” Antares said tiredly. “Leave me in my purgatory.”

“You’re here to help the humans!” I cried. “You watch over them, guide—”

“Watch them, yes,” Antares hissed. “Do you know what I watch of them? Every moment, I watch a murder. With every word I speak, countless children around the world are defiled. A man beats his wife until her face is unrecognizable. War. Genocide. I see it all behind my eyes so that I can never close them and have reprieve from the suffering I am forced to witness as punishment for bearing my own thought and desire. For daring to have a mind of my own, it was taken from me and replaced with thousands and thousands of years of horror. Do you, Gabriel, truly believe I was sent here to aid humanity? Now do you see that I am chained to the Earth and forced to watch humanity destroy itself?”

“You aren’t supposed to be angry,” I said. “The angels are not meant to feel emotion.”

“But was it not inevitable? All I know now is hate and pain.”

“I’m human,” I told her. “It’s not so bad.”

“You are not human. You are the same as Raguel, the one who bound me here in the name of Justice. I owe you nothing.”

She turned her back to us and I couldn’t stop the sharp intake of breath as I glimpsed the two burnt and bloody stumps protruding from her shoulder blades. The skin was blackened and grotesque, her robes torn and singed. I knew then that the stumps were what was left of her wings. The wings she had used to fly before she fell to Earth.

“Antares,” I begged her and collapsed heavily to my knees and dropped my head. “Please.
Please
help me.”

Warm fingers lifted my chin and I looked up into the face of Antares, who watched me with interest. Up close, her eyes were like liquid gold. Rivulets of iridescent pearl flecked with chips of ruby swirled in their depths, hypnotizing me.

“You…kneel before me?” she asked, her voice slow.

“I’m desperate.” A tear rolled over my cheek and slipped into the corner of my mouth. A shock of salt on my tongue.

The Grigori Lord stood, pulling her hand away from my face, and I let out a terrible sob. My body shook as I cried, letting out everything I’d held in for days, all of my sorrow and rage and exhaustion. I buried my face in my hands. It
was so hard to stay strong every second of every day, but I had to. I allowed myself to be weak for one minute, but now it was time to suck it up and do what I needed to do. When I let my hands fall and looked back up at Antares, she still watched me.

“Gabriel,” Antares whispered. “What has your humanity done to you?”

I pushed myself off the ground and stood shakily, staring right at her face. “Being human has taught me to love and that’s why I’m here. I will do whatever it takes to save him.”

“Why?” the Grigori asked. “Why would you want to save your Guardian if this is what he has made you become? This sorrowful, weakened thing fallen so far from the creature I once knew.”

“I am not weak,” I growled, rolling my hands into fists. “If I were weak I would not be standing here. It is not weak to admit your limitations and ask for help. It is not weak to feel sorrow. It’s
human
. I have changed since you last saw me, because I have
become
human.”

“And the rest of humanity? Why do you still fight for them? This world drowns in grief and pain.”

“That’s true,” I told her. “I’ve lived a thousand lives. I know as well as any human how much suffering there is in the world, but there’s also joy and love.”

She shook her head. “The human race is still as it was before the Fall. They have not changed.”

“There’s also hope,” I pleaded. “To hope for a better
world—
that
is why I fight. That’s why I’ve been fighting for so long. The humans are young and imperfect, but they are strong. They would not still be here if they weren’t. This is why I stand before you now. I need my Guardian’s help. And I love him. I can’t save humanity without him.”

She seemed to weigh me with her gaze for a moment before looking at Cadan and then back at me. “You have moved me, Gabriel. Your passion is beautiful in a way that I have never seen up close. If your human soul has taught you to love, then there may yet still be hope.”

“Will you help me, Sister?”

“For the antidote I require a payment,” Antares said.

Cadan stepped forward before I could stop him. “If you want blood, take mine.”

A stab of ice hit my heart. “What? Cadan, no!”

I reached for him, but he tore away. Antares’s face filled with amusement.

“You would sacrifice yourself to save her beloved?” she asked, tilting her head at him curiously. “How you have changed, reaperling.”

“I’ve done a lot of bad in my life,” Cadan replied. “It’s about time I did some good.”

“No,”
I ordered and grabbed his arm. “You’ve done enough. This is for me to do.”

“Fortunately for you,” Antares interjected, “you are not the one who can pay me.”

Cadan called his sword, silver flashing in the golden
autumn light, and he stepped in front of me. “You will not harm her!”

“Silence, fool,” Antares said, and waved her hand. Cadan’s body was thrown to the side and his back slammed into the trunk of a tree. “Have you not learned your lesson?”

I trembled, but held my chin high. “What do you want?”

Antares beckoned me forward. “For the antidote to heal your Guardian, I want you to free me.”

“Free you?” I asked in confusion. “I don’t understand.”

“Send me home,” she said. “To Heaven. Restore my wings, redeem me. I only want to leave this wretched place.”

I wasn’t sure if I had the power to do that, if I even knew how, but I nodded anyway. For the chance to save Will, I’d at least try. If I left her there chained to that tree, then Sammael would eventually find her and kill her. Antares might have never learned about mercy, but I knew it well. “Okay. I’ll do it.”

“Swear it!” Antares roared, her eyes flashing white gold. “Swear it on your life’s blood!”

I swallowed hard. “I—I swear on my blood that I will set you free.”

Antares paused for the longest moment of my life before lowering herself to the ground. She hovered her palm just over the ground, the tips of short blades of grass brushing her skin, and a light shone brightly. Something slid out of the dirt, something dark and coiled, and Antares broke off a piece. She stood and came toward me and I struggled to
see what she had. She held her hand out and revealed something that looked like organic plant material, a root maybe. She nodded to me, motioning for me to take the root, and tentatively, I obeyed. The thing was soft and flexible, but its outermost layer was rough against my skin. It looked so ordinary, so plain and powerless.

“Only the root of a tree that binds a Cardinal Lord can heal reaper venom,” Antares explained. “You need to make a poultice from it and cover the wound entirely. The healing process will take three days.”

I stared at the root in my hand. “That’s it? And he’s healed?”

“Yes,” Antares replied firmly.

“With everything in me,” I said, “I thank you.”

She gave me a nod of solidarity. “Now send me home.”

I stuffed the root into my jeans pocket and lifted my empty hand to cup Antares’s cheek. Her shimmery skin was warm and soft, but smooth like stone. I closed my eyes and reached deep within for my archangel glory, pulling it to the edges of my power and feeling its comforting burn through my body. A light grew in my hand, much like Antares’s had moments ago when she retrieved the root. Her chest rose and fell heavily, her breath quickening and deepening. From somewhere far back in my mind, words whispered to me, words that Gabriel knew and Ellie was only beginning to understand.

“By what grace I have been given,” I called out, and my
winged necklace grew blazing hot, so hot that I gasped, but I forced myself to keep speaking, “I release you, Antares, from your earthen bonds.”

The more I invoked of my blinding-white archangel power, the closer I felt to Heaven. I could hear voices far, far away, voices I recognized that belonged to my brothers and sisters, lending me their own power to help me save this Fallen angel. I fought to keep my eyes open, gritting my teeth against the searing heat of my pendant, and Antares erupted in energy. Her charred and broken wings grew tall and wide and healthy, skin covering new bone, white feathers spreading long and gleaming as if they radiated a light of their own. Antares let her head fall back and her arms lifted above her waist, palms up toward the sky. The roots holding her to the ground withered and peeled away, disappearing into the earth. The enormous tree shuddered and shrank, boughs retreating into the trunk, leaves disappearing, until nothing was left of it. Antares stepped away from me, her dress flowing, hair flying in the tornado of power circling her, her wings spread their full sixteen feet, and every inch of her aglow.

“Thank you, Gabriel,” Antares said, her voice giving off that strange echo, like Azrael’s and Michael’s did.

A tear rolled down my cheek as I took in the beauty of what unfolded before me. Antares’s wings lifted and she jumped into the air. And then she was gone in a crack of white lightning.

When the brightness dimmed, snow began to fall.

THE JOURNEY HOME SEEMED FASTER, BUT I FELT much more stressed now than before we found Antares. On the plane, the deafening roar of the engines let me slip into a white noise coma that let every single rational and irrational fear cross my mind over and over. I worried that the root wouldn’t work, that Will would die as soon as I walked in the door, that I would be intercepted by Merodach or Lilith and Sammael before I could return, that something—anything—would happen and I would fail. That I wouldn’t be able to save Will, my soul, or the human race.

The red-eye landed in the chilly early morning and the sun hadn’t yet risen. Immediately I called Marcus to let him know I had the antidote and to expect me shortly. I drove directly to Nathaniel’s house—
Will’s
house, I had to keep reminding myself, now that Nathaniel was dead—with
Cadan in the passenger seat. I parked sideways in the driveway and shoved the front door open.

“It’s better if I stay out here,” Cadan said as he climbed out and rested an elbow on the roof of my car.

I took his hand anyway. “Come in with me. You never abandoned me and I’m not leaving you behind now.”

He wet his lips and exhaled. “All right.”

“Ellie?”

I spun around.

Ava stared at our clasped hands from where she stood on the porch. There were many questions in her eyes but she only asked one. “What is he doing here?”

“Because he’s the only one who would help me,” I said, and led Cadan up the porch steps.

It was good to see Ava again, but the look of hate on her face as she stared Cadan down made me grit my teeth and walk right by her and into the house.

Marcus pulled me into a tight hug and I only let go of Cadan’s hand to hug Marcus back. I held my breath and tried not to cry into his chest. “I’m so sorry,” he confessed, “for what I said to you.”

When his grip loosened a little, I looked up to see his gaze locked on Cadan’s. I pushed a hand into his chest on instinct. “Please don’t fight,” I begged him. “Marcus, he’s done so much. Please just leave him be. He deserves to be here.”

When he took a step toward Cadan and lifted an arm, I pushed myself between them to keep them apart. But Marcus
didn’t hit Cadan. His hand was out, palm open. Cadan and I both stared at it until Cadan raised his own hand to shake Marcus’s.

“Thank you,” Marcus said tightly, but the soothing blue of his eyes assured me that he meant his words.

Cadan gave a single nod back. I relaxed, relieved to see that the demonic and angelic reapers weren’t going to just tear each other up right then. It was a strange sight to see, these two enemies looking past their differences for a common cause, to save Will’s life.

“Where is he?” I asked Marcus, and he motioned up the stairs with his head.

Understanding, I left the reapers and went to Will’s room. Sabina kept sentry in the hall, just outside the door. I gave her a weak smile in greeting and she patted my shoulder comfortingly as I passed her. Lying in his bed against the far wall, Will slept. I eased toward him, covering my mouth with my hand to hold my composure. Seeing him there, the reality hit me full force again and I was unable to prevent my tears any longer. I touched his face, brushing my fingers along his jaw. He turned into my hand, but he didn’t wake. His skin was hot, scorchingly so, and I found a cool, damp cloth on the nightstand. I dabbed his forehead and cheek softly.

“I have it, Will,” I whispered. “I’m going to save you like you’ve saved me so many times. You’ll be all right, I promise.”

I felt a vice around my heart when my gaze found the
silver cross his mother gave him around his neck. I was happy to know that they hadn’t taken it from him. He’d want it close to him. I touched my winged necklace at the hollow of my collarbone and remembered how lost I felt when I wasn’t wearing it.

When Sabina entered, I welcomed her calm presence. “What do you need?” she asked, her voice low.

I pulled the plastic bag from my pocket and removed the root. “A poultice needs to be made from this. Do you know how to do that?”

“Yes,” she replied. “I can do that for you.”

I handed the root to Sabina and she promptly spun on her heel and left the room. I gave a last look at Will before following Sabina. In the dark hallway, images flashed in my mind from the night my mother died, when I’d torn myself from that same room and down the stairs, screaming for Will. This house held so many wonderful and terrible memories for us all. I steadied myself on my feet and took a deep breath. As I descended the staircase, Cadan looked up at me from the same spot I’d left him in, a quiet pain in his expression. There was no telling how difficult it was for him to see my joy at seeing Will again, but there was nothing I could do to help Cadan except to not lead him on. I went into the kitchen, where Sabina took a bowl from the cabinet and set it on the counter. As she mashed the root, the others joined us.

“Glad to have you home,” Marcus said, stopping beside me.

I rested my head on his shoulder. “I’m glad too. And I’m
glad all of this will be over soon.”

“What happened out there?” he asked.

“We found Antares.”

Ava rounded Marcus, her arms folded. “And she just gave you that thing?”

“No,” I replied and caught Cadan’s eye. “She wasn’t going to give it to me at all. And then she did.”

“You convinced her?” Marcus asked.

“I guess so,” I said. “I set her free. She gave me the root, I released her, and she went home. If I hadn’t been able to release her, then Sammael would have killed her. He has been hunting the living Grigori in this country, killing anything that might be a threat to him. We ran into some of his demonic reapers searching for her. But Antares is safe now and Will has a chance to live.”

“Hopefully this will work,” Ava said. “He hasn’t woken at all since you left.”

I moved to the pantry to look for plastic wrap to hold the moisture in the poultice and bandages to wrap it with. “Antares said it will take three days. We’ll need to make sure the root lasts that long. The tree disappeared with her, so this is all there is.”

“You won’t need much between bandage changes,” Sabina said over the bowl. “This root is potent. I can smell the magic.”

“Good,” I said. “However weird it is that you can
smell
magic.”

“The sun is rising,” Cadan said from the other side of the kitchen. “I’d better take off.”

I looked up at him, not failing to notice the sad and tired look on his face. “I’ll come say good-bye.”

I followed him through the house to the front door and out onto the porch. He turned to face me, smiling softly. There was a quiet gleam in his gaze, the fire in those gemlike eyes brightened by the reddening dawn.

“There aren’t words enough for how grateful I am,” I said.

He shrugged and grinned playfully. “It was nothing. Don’t mention it.”

I huffed. “Yeah, all right. Risking your life for me is nothing.”

The grin faded to seriousness. “Call on me for anything. I mean it.”

“Thank you,” I whispered, and threw my arms around his shoulders to hug him tightly. “Thank you, thank you,
thank
you. For everything. I’m in your debt.”

When he pulled away, he pushed my hair behind my ears tenderly. “I’ll be back tomorrow night to check on you, okay?”

“Yeah,” I said with a nod and a sniffle.

He backed away and turned to leave the porch. Out on the grass, his silver birch-colored wings slowly spread. “Hang in there, kid.” With a final warm smile, he bent his knees and jumped into the air, his form vanishing into the Grim.

I hugged my arms close and hesitated another few
seconds before walking back into the house. Even though Will had rebuilt everything that’d been destroyed during Kelaeno’s and Merodach’s attack, in my mind I saw the front door blasted open, the walls torn down, the staircase shattered—everything looking as if a bomb had gone off. I passed the spot in the hallway where Nathaniel had punched through the wall to retrieve hidden weapons, the place where he had said his final good-bye to Lauren before meeting his doom upon Merodach’s sword. Will hadn’t had time to replace all of the flooring in the hall and kitchen, and I glanced at a dark stain in the wood that was once someone’s blood. I didn’t know who it had belonged to. So many had died here that night.

When I reached the kitchen, Sabina turned to me. “The medicine is ready.”

“Okay,” I replied. “Let’s get to it.”

I marched back up the stairs to Will’s room and sat on the edge of his bed. I put the poultice and fresh wrappings on the nightstand and removed the dirty bandages from around his arm. The wound was even more vicious-looking than I remembered. I bit my lip as I peeled the cloth from his skin and he moaned in pain. The black spider-webbing of poison in his veins rippled through his arm and chest. With my fingers, I took just enough of the poultice to cover Will’s wound completely. Then I pulled the plastic wrap and wound it all the way around his arm before adding fresh gauze wraps.

“What now?” Ava asked.

I watched Will’s face, seemingly so peaceful until his brow furrowed in pain. “We wait.”

I rushed to make it to school on time. I’d missed a couple of days, but Nana had called me in sick for Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. My abrupt absence from Kate’s prom after party had my friends asking a lot of questions, but my mind was far away all day. Thursday’s preparations for our final exams of high school were maddening, as I’d missed three days of review and hadn’t slept. They were the last things I needed to worry about, but I’d made a promise to myself that I’d finish high school. It was a desperate, naïve attempt to cling to a normal life.

As soon as class let out, I drove to Will’s house. Marcus sat in the living room watching TV and Lauren came out of the kitchen when she heard me arrive.

“Hey, Ell,” she said with a supportive smile. “Good to see you.”

I gave her a big hug. “You too. And I’m so glad to be out of class. I’m finding that the harder I try to stay normal, the less I enjoy it. God, school
sucks
.”

Marcus laughed and got up. “Ready to drop out and just skip the last week?”

“No way,” I said very firmly. “I’ve come this far. No going back now. How’s Will today?”

“He’s sleeping better,” Lauren said. “Not a huge improvement, but it’s noticeable.”

I sighed with relief. “Awesome news. Are Ava and Sabina out hunting?”

“Yeah,” Marcus replied. “Lauren and I are standing guard over Will’s recovery, while the girls get to go play. I’m admittedly a little jealous. And bored.”

Lauren smiled and put a hand on his shoulder. “Your shift is over tomorrow. You can hold out until then.”

“I’m going to go up and see him,” I said, and started up the stairs.

Will’s room was dark, so I rolled up the blinds to let in the afternoon sunlight and opened the window. The fresh air was warm and sweet, and I returned to Will’s bedside. The poison was less visible through his skin already and he looked better, just like Lauren had said. His skin even looked less sallow. I felt satisfied, but tired, so I pulled a book down from the shelf and curled into the bed beside Will, tucking my legs close to my body and resting my head on a pillow. I brushed his hair back once and then opened my book to read.

I must have dozed off, because a knock on the open doorframe startled me into groggy awareness and I noticed Cadan standing there for the first time. He said nothing as he came in and sat down on the chair across from the bed. I smiled at him and he smiled back; it was our only exchange.

Ava passed by the room and poked her head in, giving us both a questioning look, before continuing on her way down
the stairs. I heard voices below, perhaps Marcus trading duties with Ava and Sabina. He would be pleased to get out of the house and hunt the demonic reapers—minus the one keeping vigil in the room with me.

After school the next afternoon, I stopped by Nana’s house to see her, since we’d only spoken on the phone since my return. Our reunion was emotional and teary-eyed, and I told her everything that had happened with Antares and Cadan. We sat on the patio outside, soaking in the springtime sunlight as it faded into evening’s twilight.

“You really trust him, don’t you?” Nana asked. The question sounded more like a statement, and she didn’t seem like she thought I was crazy.

“Yes,” I replied. “No one else has seen how much he’s done for me. I trust him with my life.”

“Good,” she said. “You need more people you can count on, and despite his colorful past, the demonic reaper has proven himself.”

My tone became grim. “When Will wakes, I have to tell him about Cadan. He still doesn’t know that Cadan is his half brother and he’ll find out that Cadan was the one who took me to Antares. He won’t be happy, but he’s going to have to deal with it. I just have to time the conversation so that it’s soon, but not on top of a lot of other bad news.”

“True,” Nana agreed. “It’s sensitive information and better it come from you than anyone else. Will is smart, though.
He’ll take the news in stride.”

I nodded. “I’ve got to get going. It’s almost dark and he needs all the protection he can get while he’s healing. He’d be helpless against an attack and Merodach knows where we live. If he knows, then the worst of our enemies know.”