Shameless Exposure (18 page)

“Nearly finished?”

“Oh God, I wish I was finished.” A buzzer sounded the end of the ordeal. “That was torture. But I beat it.”

“It’s worth it, honestly. I’ve been practising for nearly a year now and it’s helped me enormously. I first experienced vaginal heaven at the last moon ceremony. Your Robert was a big help too. And it’s only three days for you to wait. Most of us have abstained from the ecstatic moment for much longer. How would you describe your feelings?”

“Let me off this bloody chair. To be honest I could kill.”

“Regina says that’s a good sign,” said Joni, undoing the clamps. “It shows the power of the animal spirit is growing. She’s a great believer in GEORGe. She told me she spends an hour with him most nights testing out the different functions and her own modifications.”

They climbed the tower to Caroline’s bedroom. The Wimples were standing on the landing on either side of the door.

“What are they doing here?” said Caroline.

“They’re to look after you. Regina says you’re a special guest.”

“I don’t need servants,” said Caroline. She pushed open the door to her room. Jocasta was still there cleaning, but she hadn’t done a good job. The fire in the grate was not lit and Caroline’s clothes were in jumble on the bed.

“Have you been going through my things?” said Caroline. Jocasta flushed red and simpered.

“Mistress Superior said I should unpack your bag.”

“What’s that buzzing noise?” said Caroline.

Jocasta reached into her knickers and took out the magic bullet Caroline had appropriated from Antonia.

“How dare you,” said Caroline. “That’s disgusting. You don’t know where that’s been.”

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t wait for the ceremony.”

It was Joni’s turn to look horrified. “You don’t mean you’ve been doing unauthorised practice? Show me your wrist.” Jocasta pulled back her sleeves. There was no orgatron.

“You know you’re not allowed to practice without the orgatron,” said Joni. “Wait till Regina hears about this. Have you had an orgasm or did we catch you in time?”

“Please don’t tell her,” said Jocasta. “Mistress will throw me off the island this time.”

“Well it can’t go unpunished,” said Joni.

“I’ll punish her,” said Caroline. “I’m really cross about this. I can’t believe she would use my friend Antonia’s vibrator without asking.” Caroline wagged a finger at Jocasta. “You can start by giving the room a proper clean, on your hands and knees.”

Jocasta muttered thanks and crawled across the floor with a brush and dustpan, sweeping every bare floorboard with care. Caroline was surprised at her strong desire to smack the raised bottom of her cleaner. She resisted, for now. Joni excused herself to go to practice and Caroline sat on a wooden stool to keep an eye on the quality of Jocasta’s dusting.

As Caroline had suspected, Jocasta’s cleaning was feeble and ineffective. She just moved the dust around.

“Oh for God’s sake leave it,” said Caroline. “Have you never cleaned your own room?”

“We always had a cleaner at home.”

“Well light the fire, and then get out of my sight before I lose my temper completely.”

Jocasta struggled to light a match, her hands shaking. The grate was set with paper and kindling but the chimney was cold and the draft weak. She wasted ten matches then lit the edge of one piece of paper. The smoke drifted into the room but the flames did not grow. Jocasta waved her hands at the fire and blew into the grate but more smoke came into the room, making Caroline cough.

“Were you never a Girl Guide?” said Caroline. “Why can’t you do the simplest thing?” Jocasta smirked.

“That’s it. I’ve had enough. You’re doing this deliberately, aren’t you? You do need to be punished. Wimples,” she shouted, “take her downstairs.”

The Wimples, familiar with Jocasta’s indiscretions, lifted her up by her arms and carried her off to the dungeon. Caroline followed them down. She stuck her head round Regina’s door to explain, but Regina, sitting cross legged on her bed, just waved her away.

“I could hear,” she said. “I know what Jocasta’s like. Don’t listen to her protestations and make sure she learns her lesson. Every time she comes give the rack another turn.”

 
Seventeen

Everything had been going so well. His team had had a great start to the season and were at the top of the table. First one defender was injured, then another, and they started conceding goals. Confidence was dented and their strikers couldn’t put the ball in the net. At the same time, the main rivals in Manchester were going from strength to strength, spending huge sums on players and new training facilities.

Was it that life imitates sport, or does sport imitate life? He knew his defence had been injured and he suspected a foul tackle by Regina. His confidence had been dented when Forbes-Brown unquestioningly accepted her version of events. His title hopes had been dashed when he realised Forbes-Brown had gone on to tell Caroline about Regina’s one-sided allegations.

But the final blow, the kick where it hurts a man most, was Caroline’s news that she had found her natural mother, and it was the Mistress Superior, Regina. It couldn’t be true. He couldn’t have had sex with his mother-in-law. The thought was too awful to contemplate without medication and he didn’t have time to go to the doctor. He opened the bottle of twelve year old Blackwater single malt whiskey he had brought back from Scotland as an early Christmas present to himself. He added a splash of water to bring out the flavour. It was some comfort. He took another sip.

The house felt empty and neglected like a seaside town in winter. The pile of junk mail on the kitchen counter was in danger of toppling over. He poured another drink and took the mail through to the room they used as an office, though it was meant to be a dining room. They always ate in the kitchen, even when they had friends over.

Every company in the world was offering them free stuff. Interest free credit on balance transfers, asterisk. Free broadband for six months, asterisk. Free estimate for triple glazing, asterisk. Free life insurance, asterisk. Free upgrade on spa hotels, asterisk. The more garish the envelope, the more outlandish the offer.

Plain envelopes were more interesting. Like this one: thick off-white paper, A4 size, marked
strictly private and confidential
, addressed to Caroline. He put it to one side. Or this one: cheap brown envelope, handwritten address, also marked
private and confidential
and addressed to Caroline. He added it to her pile.

The letters might be important. It could be something to do with her disciplinary hearing at Monsaint. He checked the postmarks, both London. He rang Caroline’s new number. He knew she was mad with him, but he would risk it. The call went straight to answerphone. He decided it was too complicated to leave a message. What would he say?
I’m thinking of opening your post, it’s a brown envelope, the other one is white.
What would she say?
You’d better open them, Robert. It could be something important. If it’s urgent, be a saint and deal with it for me.

He slit open the thick white envelope and peered inside. The front page looked like it had the date and venue for the hearing. He’d better look at it properly, then he could send her a text. Behind the front page, and before the copy of the company’s disciplinary procedure, was the reason for the hearing, an allegation of Gross Misconduct. He read the details. What had she called it? Internal politics that would soon blow over? No wonder she hadn’t wanted to tell him about it. His suspicions had been right all along. She’d been in bed with the boss and by the sound of things had dragged him into it.

He read on. He poured himself another drink while he digested the contents. He’d always known she was ambitious. He understood it was a jungle out there in the world of business. Christ, he had enough examples of that himself. But to simultaneously set up the boss and run to the competition with the company secrets was a high risk strategy. It was unethical. Even the jungle has rules.

Just out of professional interest, he studied the evidence summary and the list of witnesses Monsaint were prepared to call. Andreas and the whole senior team were lined up against her, except Ivan Kalashnikov, her boss, who might have some sympathy for her. She didn’t stand a chance. She was toast. She was unfaithful toast.

He poured another whiskey and called Antonia.

“Have you been drinking again, Robert?”

“Why do you ask?”

“You only call me when you’ve been drinking.”

“It’s the good stuff. I wish I’d bought two bottles. I’ve been going through Caroline’s post.”

“You shouldn’t do that, Robert. And you a lawyer, too.”

“What do you know about her suspension from work?”

“No one’s allowed to even talk to her. I’ve no idea what the allegations are, but I do know she suspects Andreas of foul play. I don’t know how much Caroline was embroidering things, but she told me he’s been pestering her for ages and pulled some kind of outrageous stunt when they were in Rio.”

“What kind of stunt?”

“Well, we were both half pissed when she told me but she suspects he arranged to have her kidnapped in Rio.”

“Why would he do something like that?”

“I’m not an expert on male psychology, but could sex have something to do with it? Or he’s threatened by her?”

“At least that gives me something to work on. I need to get the truth out of Caroline otherwise I can’t help.” Robert felt his energy returning. He loved a hopeless case. But he would need every shred of evidence. He opened the brown envelope. It was from Sandra at the adoption agency.

Dear Caroline, I am sorry that we raised your hopes of tracing your natural mother. It is proving more difficult than I imagined. The trail goes dead in the early 1980’s, not long after you were adopted. We know that your mother emigrated to Australia and married a man in a mining town, Emerald, in Queensland. We will keep looking but sometimes…

He switched on the anglepoise lamp and directed the light onto Caroline’s in-tray. Half way down he found the letter from Regina. No wonder she hadn’t gone through the adoption charity. Thank God, he hadn’t had sex with his mother-in-law after all. He’d had sex with a monstrous impostor. His phone rang.

“Caroline?”

“No, this is Linda, Linda Bolsover. We met on Mura. You gave me your card.”

“Yes I did. How are you?”

“I’m calling in an official capacity. I wasn’t totally frank with you on Mura. I was undercover.”

“Are you the police? I didn’t suspect for a moment. Don’t tell me I’m under investigation? I didn’t do anything against anyone’s will.”

“No, neither did I. Good fun though, wasn’t it? It’s nothing like that. I’m an agent for CI5. We work for the Charity Commission investigating bogus charities. We have reasons to believe that Miss Heart’s operation is not entirely bona fide.”

“You mean the vagina spirit isn’t real?”

“I wouldn’t like to say. There may be a kernel of truth buried deep somewhere. But the Commission is not here to police the beliefs of people, however outlandish. Our interest is in financial propriety. You will be aware I assume that charitable donations are tax deductible?”

“Yes of course, Caroline and I…”

“I’m glad you’re both generous. But Miss Heart’s scheme allows very rich people to make donations of millions, reclaim the tax, and then benefit from the donations they have made. Most of the money finds its way back to the donors through a series of offshore trusts. Well, we think that’s what’s happening. The fact is we don’t have the proof. I need to get back to Mura and see if I can have sight of Miss Heart’s paperwork and computer files.”

“Difficult. I can tell you Regina’s a dangerous woman.”

“We’re very well trained. We do a commando exercise every few months. But I could do with some help.”

Robert was silent.

“I was wondering,” said Linda, “if you could help, as you are Miss Heart’s lawyer? I know I shouldn’t ask but I don’t know how else we can get the evidence.”

“You’re right. You shouldn’t ask. It’s quite impossible for a lawyer to act against a client.”

“I apologise for putting you in a difficult position. You seemed such a considerate young man.”

“Don’t hang up. You rang at the perfect time. It would be quite impossible for me to help you but fortunately I’m no longer her lawyer. She’s made some false allegations against me and I’ve been removed from then case. The Bar will understand I have to clear my name. Count me in. When do we go?”

“The solstice moon ceremony is in two days time. That will provide the cover for some ferreting around. We will have to set off tomorrow morning. Get a good night’s sleep because I don’t expect we’ll get much at Castle Dunlaggin.”

♥ ♥ ♥

Caroline sat on her simple stool before the flickering fire. Regina stood behind her brushing Caroline’s flowing red hair.

“I’m so glad I found you,” said Regina. “It was meant to be. The spirit sent you to me.”

“It does explain a lot about me,” said Caroline. “I could never understand why I had those urges and now I see I was just born that way.”

“And thank the spirit you were. Vagina power is very strong. It can guide to you to ultimate success if you allow it to penetrate you fully. You did very well with Jocasta.”

“You don’t think I was too severe?”

“Not if she has benefited. She crawled up the stairs and thanked me for allowing her to stay. She said she knows she needs to be punished.”

Regina brushed and brushed. Caroline found it soothing.

“You have given me a dilemma,” said Regina. “I have been searching for the right candidate for High Priestess of the movement. Joni has indicated that she wishes to give up modelling and put herself forward. She says she is willing to undergo the initiation.”

“She’s lovely, Joni,” said Caroline.

“But she doesn’t have your vaginal power. It took her ages to see her animal spirit and she’s orgasmically weak. It was only with the help of your husband that she could reach ecstasy.”

“I knew he’d been cheating.”

“No, it wasn’t cheating. It was religious instruction. It was during the last moon ceremony. It was good of him to help. Don’t be angry. Robert was good for you – for a while.” She brushed some more. “But now that you know who you really are, you have a new future ahead of you, as High Priestess of a worldwide movement which is gathering millions to its heart.”

“I’ve only been here two days, Regina. Or should I call you mother? I’m not sure I’m ready to give up that world out there. I set my sights years ago on making it to the top of Monsaint. I can’t let that go yet.”

“You don’t have to, my child. Many of the proselytes live normal lives and come here when they can. The people around them have no idea of their spiritual life. You can combine the roles of high priestess and chief executive. Just think what I did while I was running Monsaint. It wasn’t spiritual, but it was a big network of girls. Most people lead such narrow lives. Don’t be constrained, you can do it all.”

“Do you really think I could do both?”

“I know you could. You were born to it.”

Caroline thought for a while.

“How will you decide who is to be High Priestess?”

“It would be wrong for me to decide. It will look like nepotism once people know you’re my daughter. I will let the spirit decide at the solstice moon ceremony. Both you and Joni can undertake the initiation and it will be made clear in front of everyone who should have the position.”

“I still don’t think I’m ready,” said Caroline. “I understand so little about the spirit philosophy.”

“With you it’s instinctive,” said Regina. “Another two hours with GEORGe and I promise you’ll be ready.”