Shameless Exposure (20 page)

Millimetre by millimetre, the oversized penis gained admission. Ness was in no hurry. A hundred press-ups was nothing to him. He loomed over her, blocking out the light. Her raven appeared. It seemed to fly out of her chest and up into the rafters. She sighed and melted. Ness sank into her, a large portion of the improbable penis disappearing from view. The audience craned their necks to see between the dancing flames.

Caroline had an unobstructed view. She was sure she could satisfy Ness better, the thought making her wet with nervous anticipation. She was cross again. Why did he bother with Joni? She wanted to get on with being bad to the bone, like she was born to be. She would show Regina who should be High Priestess.

Ness rose in and out of Joni like the bow of a ship in a force nine gale. Joni’s prediction that he wouldn’t last five minutes was entirely wrong. She screamed with surprise as the first wave of orgasm crashed through her body. The wave receded, swallowed up into an ocean of sensation. But before long, another high roller began forming in the sea of her million nerve endings. It gained in height and mass, approaching her shore with potent force. It grew ever larger, the crest of wave began to tumble and foam, and finally engulf every part of her mind and body with a rush of wet energy. She gasped for air and clung tight to the lump of wreckage that towered over her. But there was no sign that the storm was about to abate.

♥ ♥ ♥

Angus pointed the boat in the general direction of Mura and fought the wind and waves.

“Madness, complete madness.” As if to confirm his words, a wave swept over the boat and filled it with water.

“Ye can be first mate,” said Angus. “Get to work or we’re doomed.” Robert bailed furiously with the bucket, but it was the rigid inflatable construction which kept them from going under. Robert pointed to a faint light in the distance escaping from the high windows of the great hall. Angus nodded, glad of something to aim for. When they approached the ramp it was obvious the boat would not be able to tie up. The swell was too great, waves smashing over the concrete ramp.

“You’re gonnae have te jump,” Angus shouted to Robert. “I’ll get in as close as I can but ye’ll have te tak ye chance.”

Three times the boat was pushed near to the ramp and Robert prepared to leap, but three times the back swell pushed the boat too far away just at the moment he had decided to jump. Angus, not one to give up easily, turned the boat and accelerated towards the ramp. A wave caught the boat and propelled it even faster. It smashed into the concrete ramp, ripping a hole in the rigid hull, and catapulting the crew into the seething black brine.

Under the water, Robert stared death in the face before realising it was the white visage of Angus. They clung to each other and surfaced near enough to the ramp to crawl onto the submerged portion. Despite the continued battering of the waves, they inched their way to a sodden safety. Angus stood dripping and watched his livelihood being pummelled to pieces on the rocks of Mura.

“I said it was madness.”

“Now for the difficult bit,” said Robert, pulling a length of seaweed from his hair.

♥ ♥ ♥

Joni shook her head to indicate she could take no more, or at least needed a half-time break.

“Your turn,” she said to Caroline. “It’s yours to win or lose.” Joni staggered to the edge of the dais and pushed Caroline into the middle. Regina caught Caroline’s eye and smiled encouragement.

Caroline had been having second thoughts. She knew it was late in the day to allow doubts to creep in, but the sight of Ness so totally overpowering the slim wisp Joni was troubling. Caroline liked to be in control, even when pretending she wasn’t. With Ness, there could be no pretence. The audience pushed closer, as near to the dancing flames as they dared. They wanted to see how the monster would tackle the second, more voluptuous challenger.

Ness prowled around the dais, sizing Caroline up from all angles. A tongue darted out from between his teeth in anticipation of prey. His muscular body, slick with sweat from his efforts with Joni, shone in the flickering light. She made out one of the gruesome comic book tattoos: King Kong and the woman on the Empire State building.

Ness stood still, stared at her, held his member in one hand and worked it up to its fullest dimensions. Caroline stared back, as defiantly as she could manage when her stomach was swarming with butterflies and her breathing was short. There didn’t seem to be much chance of sensuous foreplay. She told herself to focus on the job in hand. She had this opportunity to be a High Priestess in a worldwide movement. How many people could say that? She just had to make him come. She’d always managed to achieve that with men before. All it took was a bit of teasing and temptation.

She shook her hair and swept it behind her head with her hands. She placed her fingers in her mouth, sucked them, and used them to circle her nipples. He stood and watched without the trace of a smile. She pushed her breasts up towards him and then turned her back on him, legs close together. She turned and looked at him over her shoulder, and ran her hands lightly over her buttocks, pushing her arse towards him.

She turned again and traced a single finger down between her breasts to her belly button and then to her pussy, miming pleasure. Ness watched and worked his member. She increased her movements, inserting fingers in her warm wet hole, and massaging her clitoris. Her acting became more of the method school; to act it you have to live it.

Ness was no novice, however. He had been practising alone in his cell for more than six months and was merely biding his time. He would deliver his payload of double cream when and where he wanted to. He allowed Caroline’s show to continue for a while and then decided to change to another channel. Out of the blue, he took two giant steps towards her, picked her up, held her high over his head and spun her round five times. The audience applauded the bold move like it was Strictly Come Dancing.

He ignored her cries of alarm and her flailing arms and laid her gently on the canvas. He pushed her legs apart, ready now to experience her delights. He balanced above her on one hand, and with the other positioned the broad tip of his phallus at the entrance of her vagina.

Caroline closed her eyes and took a deep breath in anticipation of an immense violation, hoping the vagina spirit was willing to ease the path to the priesthood. But the moment of truth was interrupted with a loud clash as the oak doors at the back of the hall swung violently open.

“She’s not your mother,” a voice echoed from the back of the hall. “There was a letter. Sandra can’t find your mother.” Ness hesitated. Caroline sat up. The audience was confused.

“Is that you, Robert?” said Caroline, like Sleeping Beauty waking from a dream. “What are you doing here? Who’s not whose mother?”

Robert pushed through the crowd, controlled his shivering, and warmed his hands on the flames around the dais.

“Regina’s not your mother. She’s an impostor.”

“Of course I’m her mother,” said Regina. “Wimples, seize that man. He’s banned from Mura for sexual misconduct.” The audience’s eyes swung to the back of the hall. The Wimples struggled but didn’t move forward. Angus had one in each arm and they weren’t going anywhere.

“I can prove you’re not Caroline’s mother,” said Robert. “Where did you get married after Caroline was born?”

“I’ve lived in so many places it’s hard for me to remember,” said Regina, racking her brains for where she might have moved to and what was on her fancifully embroidered CV. “Philadelphia.”

“Wrong,” said Robert. The audience was spellbound. The night’s entertainment had already been varied and now there was a quiz.

“No wait, I remember,” said Regina. “After Caroline was born there was lots of work in the Arab oil states. Abu Dhabi.”

“Wrong again,” said Robert. “Only one more guess allowed. Three strikes and you’re out.”

Regina thought of the likely emigration destinations. Australia? South Africa? What about Canada?

“I’m waiting for your answer,” said Robert.

“It was such a confusing time in my life… Australia.”

“I’m sorry, you’ll have to be more specific.”

“Sydney then.”

“Strike three, you’re out,” said Robert, punching the air. “The correct answer was Emerald, Queensland.” Caroline applauded for some reason, but felt orphaned and noticed her nakedness. What garden path had she been led up? Certainly not the Garden of Eden. Thank God Robert had not arrived fifteen minutes later. Ness looked crestfallen, his shoulders slumped, his penis drooping sadly. Jocasta stepped in through the burning ring of fire and put her arm round Ness. He looked at her gratefully.

“I think that’s the end of the entertainment,” said Robert. “Can someone turn the gas down and let Caroline off the stage?” Greta went behind a pillar and turned the tap down low. Caroline jumped down into Robert’s wet embrace. Ness and Jocasta went to find a dark corner behind a stout stone pillar.

“No, it’s not quite the end,” said a different voice from the back of the hall. The audience, amazed at the twists and turns of the drama, swung their heads to see who was speaking. It was a fellow proselyte. Linda had used a razor to free herself from the tape, climbed up the rough brickwork of the cell pit, removed the grill from the inside, and made her way back to the great hall. She walked confidently up to the dais, hopped on, brushed her hands together as if removing dirt, and called for quiet.

“I apologise to you all. I’ve met so many marvellous women here. But I’m not who I said I was. Well I am Linda, but I’m not a divorcee. In fact, I’ve never been married. I’m a special investigator for the Charity Commission.

“As everyone who is anyone in the world of the vagina spirit is gathered here, it’s the ideal opportunity to reveal the true nature of your leader. You have some more questions to answer, Regina.”

“The animal spirits will guide my answers,” said Regina, mounting the dais.

“We shall see,” said Linda. “I have been investigating registered charity number 43798,
Friends of the Animus Vagismus
. Is it not the case that Dunlaggin Castle and spirit movement are both funded by fraudulent charitable donations?”

“Donations yes, fraudulent, no,” said Regina.

“Yes, yes, yes,” shouted Jocasta from behind the pillar, unaware that she was backing Linda’s case. She had achieved with a little kindness what Joni and Caroline had been unable to produce. Ness’s orgasm, held back for so long, spurted jets of hot come inside her, over her breasts, and into her laughing mouth. They decided they would get married and have babies there and then.

“Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs think it’s fraudulent,” continued Linda when Jocasta’s cries and Ness’s groans had subsided. “I have a list of over four hundred tax evaders in my possession.” Several members of the audience looked nervously at each other.

“And is it not the case that the spirit guides are figments of your imagination, imprinted surreptitiously on your acolytes through subliminal images in your promo video?”

“That’s simply an aid to those who lack empathy with the animal spirits.”

“Your proselytes can be the judge of that.” There were murmurings as impromptu discussion groups debated the authenticity of animal spirit guides. Linda called the audience to order and addressed the undressed Regina.

“Do you deny that the entire Dunlaggin philosophy is a witches’ brew concocted from the mottos on herbal tea bags? I found tags torn from a hundred teabags in your room, the sayings used for the daily mantras in the dining room. It’s all smoke and mirrors. Regina Heart, you are a charlatan. You are, at best, the latest incarnation of the Wizard of Oz, and at worst, the wicked witch of the west.”

The murmurings of discontent became a roar of hostile reactions, anticipation replaced with frustration. Regina attempted to assert her authority.

“Don’t listen to her. The bad spirit has infected her. I declare the solstice moon ceremony over; everybody to their rooms.” Nobody moved. Sensing an impending vacancy at the top of the organisation, Joni, who had had the hint of a taste of power, jumped up beside Regina on the dais.

“We’ve all had a lot to take in, especially me,” said Joni. We mustn’t rush to judgement. I know it’s not all rubbish because of how the vagina spirit movement has helped people like Jocasta. And Georgina, Greta and me, of course. We’re all so much stronger.”

“Don’t drag me into it,” said Georgina. “I only came here to lose weight. I’m going downstairs for a cigarette.” There was a lot of grumbling from the disappointed proselytes. They had been looking forward to their monthly orgiastic release and now they had been sent to their rooms when nobody felt the least bit sleepy. They pulled on their robes, but the clothes, all the same yellow, had got mixed up and arguments broke out about who had stolen whose robes or sandals.

Joni offered to lead a group if anyone still wanted to try and get in touch with their vagina spirit, and a dozen were prepared to follow her lead. Regina said she’d rather visit GEORGe. The smoking party traipsed down to the undercroft, followed by Jocasta and Ness who went straight through the undercroft and into his cell, clanging the door shut behind them. Caroline took Robert’s hand.

“You’re wet. Let’s get those clothes off.” She helped him pull his soaking sweater and T-shirt off over his head, and placed her warm hands on his chest.

“You’re looking good,” she said. They settled down in front of the fire, ignoring Joni’s group masturbation and the earnest acolytes still arguing the toss about animal spirits and size five sandals.

“Thank you for saving me from the monster,” said Caroline. “You were just in time.”

“I’m sure Ness is a perfectly nice guy, but I don’t think he’s your type.”

“I don’t mean him, I mean the monster in me. Am I a monster, Robert?”

“Regina tricked you into thinking you were. She did the same to me. She’s been trying to destroy our relationship all along, getting revenge for Copenhagen. Neither of us are monsters, just two normal people trying our best to love each other in a complex world.”