Shampoo (36 page)

“
You were SO all over
him Friday night,” Melinda added.

I was?? But Benny’s always my
protector and the one that holds me up on nights out though. Did it
mean something more??

He’s so tall, too. Hot!!! Sweet.
He’s as Commodore mad as I am. A Pisces like me. We have such fun
together. We’re always laughing together. Did I mention how tall he
is???? I have such a weakness for tall guys.

I have a bit of a weakness for
Benny, too.

But I hate the pot lifestyle,
after Rick, have nightmares about it, in fact.

(whoever said potheads are all
gentle and kind are LIARS)

I want a guy NOT on drugs. For
once.

If it weren’t for that…hmmm. Benny
could very well be perfect.

He grabbed my tube at that moment,
and I glanced over at him, watching him. Searching for something,
EXPECTING what?? Romance?? A love declaration?

Then I saw the laughing glint to
his eye. “Benny – ” I warned.

He flipped my tube in one easy
move. “Love ya, Pinky.”

So at 4pm Dan, The Big Party
Pooper, decided he wanted to leave, so I left with them

(since they were my
ride),

but I was loathe to get out of
that wave pool. I was having so much fun.

We got home about 5pm, and Lachie,
Melinda and I had arranged to go to the movies, so I drove to their
house at Coorparoo and we went in Lach’s car to Balmoral, and saw
the 7pm session of ‘What Lies Beneath.’

Fucking terrifying.

At one stage, Melinda and I both
screamed

(as did half the
audience),

and we kept huddling up to each
other.

Poor Lach had to fend for
himself.

Rich sent me flowers at work
today.

(I rang him, laughing, and asked,
“Is this for throwing up in my car??” and he said, “No, this is
cause I love you.” AWWWWWW)

I just about died, and it caused a
major flurry in the office.

(and even trickled
downstairs)

22 (my lucky number – Rich does
know me very well) beautiful pink roses, carnations and gerberas.
All the wrappings and ribbons were pink, the plant box it was in
Barbie pink.

God, they’re gorgeous.

“
Least we know who
these are for!” Daryl Agnew chortled at the sight of them, as Evie,
beaming, walked them across the office from her reception
area.

Everyone dropped what they were
doing or paused mid-phone conversation. There were gasps, and
murmurings, and Joy exclaimed, “My God, THEY’RE
GORGEOUS.”

“
Pinky has an admirer!”
Evie laughed. Everyone looked so happy.

Was the pink well really this
dry?? Everyone was so ridiculously excited.

“
Please don’t tell me
they’re from anyone in the warehouse,” Daryl Agnew declared
dramatically, hand over his heart.

“
What’s wrong with the
warehouse boys, YOU SNOB??” DY yelled from his glass
office.

“
They’re not good
enough for my Pinkster, that’s what!!” Dag yelled back. “Only a
Prince will do for my Pinky!!”

(aw. I love Dag)

Five minutes later, as the gossip
trickled downstairs

(like some airborne
virus),

there was a parade of warehouse
boys coming up.

First was Matt.

(significant?? Him being the first
up??)

He did not look impressed. But he
wandered back off without a word, giving me wounded puppy dog eyes
first.

Next up was Benny, who sat right
down on my table where he always sits, me grabbing my invoices out
from under his ass, since he always just sits right down on them.
“Ugh! Do you MIND, Benny!”

“
I mind greatly,” he
replied, intent on reading the card he’d just plucked from the
flowers. “Hmm.” He shot me a look. “Did you have to put out for
these, Pinky? OOOF!” He laughed madly, as I’d punched him right in
the gut.

(no, the one I’m putting out with
would never send me flowers)

“
Just checking!!!” Then
he wandered back off, clutching his stomach.

Next was Lachie, who leaned over
me to pluck the card.

(is nothing sacred or private in
this work place??)

“
IN-TER-REST-TING,” he
smiled, pulling a Seinfeld face. “I KNEW IT!”

Knew what? But anyway.

Paul, Little Jon, even the new
guy, Alan, all had a squiz. Ryan was the only polite one who
didn’t.

Faye was the last. She came
powering in through the kitchen/warehouse door, can of Diet Coke
clutched in one hand, grinning. “The boys told me you got a HUGE
thing of flowers, Pinky. I just HAD to see. My GOD, they’re
STUNNING – ” She laughed, nudging me. “I better tell Nick to pick
up his game, hey!!”

Oh please don’t tell your
son!

I’ve got enough boys to deal
with.

Tuesday 7 November
2000

10.29pm

Ever rang me at work, and
pretended to be Dan.

“
Kerry, put your sister
on – ”

“
Dan?”

“
Yeah, it’s me. Put the
old ball and chain on – ”

I cracked up laughing, and so did
Evvy. “I know it’s you!”

We laughed and teased some more,
then he asked, “Are you coming round tomorrow night?” He sounded
really eager and excited.

“
Of course. It’s your
birthday,” I replied, like we were a real couple and I’d never miss
my boyfriend’s birthday in a million years.

(what a farce. We’re both faking
this couple act)

We aren’t real. We aren’t true.
And I blame him!

I have this impending doom
feeling, like it’s all coming to a breaking point.

Thursday 9 November
2000

6.44am

I just got home from Evvy’s, and
for the first time in awhile, I had a great time there.

Fuck I love him so much!! And I
don’t want to!! He can be such a complete shit.

So when I arrived at his, I did my
usual dump my bag on the floor by his door, and jumped into bed
with him. I was holding the watch box behind my back.

“
Happy Birthday,
Everard,” I said, kissing him. He jumped out of bed in excitement,
standing up, bouncing around, this look on his face I’ve never seen
before. It was like awe and surprise and wonder
and…love.

“
I can’t believe you’ve
done this, bought me an expensive present…” He trailed off, staring
at the box in his hand. “You’re so fucking SWEET, woman. Almost too
fucking sweet – ”

“
Shut
up and
open your
present, Everard!!!”

He opened the box, grinning…and
paused, the smile dropping.

He looked CONCERNED.

(fucking funny!!!! Oh so
funny!!)

Inside the Jag box, I’d placed a
ten dollar pink Barbie watch.

I held up my wrist, displaying my
Barbie watch I’m always wearing. “See, now we can be
matching!”

I’m amazed I even got that
sentence out before laughing.

The look on his face
HAHAHAHAHA…PRICELESS.

Ever looked seriously worried,
like I’d lost my pink marbles and he had to tread carefully around
the crazy person.

I lost it, I seriously laughed
till I cried, and stumbled to my bag and pulled out the real
present. “Here’s the….ahahahahahahaha…real present!!”

Evvy started pissing himself, too.
“I can’t believe you got me! I can’t believe you fucking got me
then – ”

“
Always one step ahead
of you, Everard!” I spluttered.

“
Fuck yeah. I HATE that
you are – “

I laughed harder.

“
You’re always FUCKING
SURPRISING ME, ooh I HATE THAT – ”

I grabbed him and kissed him as we
both still laughed. “Happy birthday, Ever.”

He kissed me back, HARD, then
finally looked at his present clutched in his hand.

Oh, God, the look on his face.
I’ll always remember it.

His face was just ALIGHT. I loved
it. I adored it. I want to always see him looking like
that.

I’d had his watch
engraved too…just ‘To Evvy, Happy 21
^st
,’ and
I’d left my name off.

I was already anticipating we
would break up, and I wanted him to still wear his watch without
having to see my name on it each day.

“
I can’t believe you
did this,” he said softly, reading the back. “I can’t believe you
would spend so much money on me – ”

“
It’s your
twenty-first, Ever,” I replied softly.

He searched my eyes intently then.
“Did someone do anything for you like this for your
twenty-first?”

He knew the answer, already, I
could tell. Nat and Dan had already told him. “No,” I managed to
choke out, a sob threatening to instantly emerge

(from where??? Deep down within my
emotional issues, deep inside me?? Fuck off, sobs)

and make its
appearance.

(I was too busy
getting my head bashed in on my 21
^st
.
That’s what I got for my 21
^st
birthday)

The memory

(all that blood)

threatened to floor me all of a
sudden.

“
No one has ever done
anything this special for me,” Ever said softly, reaching out and
cupping my face. I held his hand to my cheek. God, it’s these
tender moments that shatter my heart the most. That hurt me the
most. That I need to go and crawl away into a hole and try to
recover from. “Why is it YOU? Why is it YOU that does these
things?” he growled. “The one that’s gone through the most, the one
that’s been hurt the most. How can it be you that does all the damn
sweet, loving things?”

He’s never talked like that
before. He rarely compliments me, let alone gets to the heart of
things. I went to cry, and he was all choked up himself. He kissed
me then, like he’s never kissed me before. He started stripping all
the clothes off me while he kissed me, and threw us backwards onto
the bed.

He made the sweetest love to me
then.

“
Wait, I’ve gotta put
my watch on,” he announced during it, quickly putting it on before
getting back to it (me).

Afterwards, he took off my old
Barbie watch, and strapped my new one in place. I don’t know why,
but that was just damn sexy.

“
Can’t believe how good
you got me, woman.”

I laughed. “Always underestimating
me, Everard!”

He draped himself over me, dragged
his hands over my face tenderly.

(oh, God)

“
Never,” he said softly
against my mouth. “I don’t underestimate you anymore.”

Be
still my heart.

The phone in his room rang then,
and he leaned across me to answer it. His grandparents ringing to
wish him a happy birthday, and, GET THIS, he told them about
me!!!!!

I just about died of
shock.

“
I’ve got a girl now,
Nan,” he said, and continued to talk about me.

My heart swelled, shattered, grew,
did some damn thing that was a combination of pain and joyful hope.
Hope grew.

Maybe he can really do
this.

Maybe WE can really do
this.

Saturday 11 November
2000

9.56am

Evvy’s Party Bus tonight!!! I’m
excited.

After how he acted Wednesday
night, I’m hopeful he will act like a boyfriend.

I’ve been so happy this week.
Everything feels so fine and dandy!!! And hopeful and
joyful.

Monday 13 November
2000

12.59am

Did I really say everything was
fine and dandy???

Yeah, well. I’m full of
crap.

No, everything else is fine. Just
not my love life.

BUT WHAT ELSE IS
NEW????

Ever is a bastard. It’s official.
Sir Bastard knighted him and made him Sir Bastard Face. Lord of all
Bastards.

He EATS bastards for breakfast,
just to make himself more of a bastard.

I KNEW something would happen on
his stupid party bus.