Read Shamus In The Green Room Online
Authors: Susan Kandel
ever punishment is coming to me.”
It was unbelievable. Out of some perverse sense of duty,
Will was going to take the fall for Rafe, for all of them. So the
truth would never have to come out. So Rafe could go on with
his life. So Maren would be safe from the bad guys, if there
ever had been any bad guys. So Lisa could keep her house, her
ring, her husband, her children.
I didn’t understand people at all.
After talking for a few minutes to Smarinsky, Will put his
cell phone back in his pocket and shifted the cap on his head.
That’s when I noticed it was Rafe’s lucky cap.
“You’re going to jail, Will, for a very long time,” I said.
“Speak up, Cece. I can barely hear you.”
“You’re going to jail, Will,” I repeated. “Do you understand
that? How does that make you feel?”
He smiled, this time, for real. “Like I’m going home.”
That was exactly what Hammett had said.
The sirens were the last thing I remember hearing before I
passed out.
That was Friday.
Saturday, I spent in bed.
Sunday, I ate matzo ball soup sent over by Smarinsky’s wife.
Monday, production on Dash! was shut down permanently.
Tuesday, Roxana was supposed to show up, but didn’t.
Wednesday, my speeding ticket arrived in the mail. Two
hundred and fifty bucks, but at least my hair looked decent in
the picture.
Thursday, the tabloids were full of Will’s arrest for second-
degree murder. And I got my car back from D.J.’s. Garage.
Nate was a virtuoso. Good-bye forever, Hollywood Toyota.
Friday was the day Vincent and Annie filed for sole custody
of Alexander. And turned down my $20,000, which I donated
to the Oceans Conservancy, in May Madden’s name.
Lisa Lapelt called me that day, too, but I haven’t called her
back. I don’t think I will.
320
Saturday was the day Rafe announced he was going into
semiretirement.
Sunday was the big day.
Sunday, I took my first surfing lesson.
I showed up at dawn. There was heavy cloud cover, but that
was par for the course. According to KABC-TV, the sun would
be blazing by noon. Hog, still wearing his “I Love Soccer
Moms” T-shirt, met me in the parking lot where Temescal
Canyon meets Pacific Coast Highway, with one of Oscar
Nichols’s custom boards strapped to the top of his VW van.
The thing must’ve been twelve feet long. Hog said he didn’t
mean to hurt my feelings, but I was a big girl and its hugeosity
(his word, unfortunately apropos) was my only hope.
In the backseat of my car, I slipped out of my sweats and
pulled on my new full-body wet suit over my old Dolce and
Gabbana bikini. I emerged, hoping for a sort of Barbarella ef-
fect, but judging by Hog’s reaction, I fell a bit short of the
mark. I proceeded to slather zinc oxide all over my face, which
probably didn’t help.
By the time I was ready, maybe a dozen other surfers had
joined us in the parking lot. Others were already heading down
to the water. The waves looked dark and foreboding, but Hog
assured me that Will Rogers State Beach hadn’t seen a real wave
since the storm of ’77, which was before he was even born.
Age, I told myself, is just a number.
Rabbit arrived a couple of minutes later in a blue Impala. He
got out, tossed his Taco Bell bag into the trash, took one look at
me, and said we had stuff to do first, so I’d better peel down the
top of my wet suit unless I wanted to fry like a chimichanga.
Hog doubled over laughing. I told him what I really thought
of his T-shirt, which silenced him temporarily. He got his and
321
Rabbit’s boards off the Impala and carried them down to the
sand. Rabbit carried mine, proving chivalry was not dead.
Waxing the boards was hard work.
“Rub it on, nose to tail, rail to rail,” Rabbit said solemnly.
“There’s already a base coat down.”
The process was time-consuming, but I liked the smell of
the wax on my fingers. It reminded me of summer. Rabbit and
Hog, who had short boards, were done in about five minutes,
and spent the next ten rolling joints in the shadow of the pub-
lic bathroom, which I pretended not to notice.
Rabbit was a good teacher. He taught me the pop-up,
which he claimed was more a matter of resolve than power,
and how to hold the board, perpendicular to the body. Then
we were ready. It wasn’t hard to maneuver through the gentle
swells. I could see a bunch of surfers in the distance, already
lined up, waiting for something to happen. Once we were waist
deep, we hopped up onto our boards and started paddling out.
Almost immediately, my arms began to ache.
“How are you doing?” Rabbit asked.
“I’m not cold,” I said stoically. I wiped my nose on the
shoulder of my wet suit and kept going. We paddled maybe
ten more yards. I was exhausted.
“Sit up,” Hog instructed.
I did, my legs straddling the board.
“Now wait.”
The sea was calm. We were barely moving, barely drifting,
just floating in place. My breathing returned to normal. Min-
utes passed.
I smelled the salt air, listened to the gulls.
Nobody was talking. It was like being in a state of sus-
pended animation.
322
So calm.
So calm.
Was it calm like this the day Will pushed May Madden to
her death? I shut my eyes, tried to put the whole scene out of
my mind, but I couldn’t. May must have had a moment when
she realized what was happening to her. She must have been
scared. Had she begged Will to spare her life? Had he hesi-
tated, for even a moment, or had he known what he was going
to do to her long before the two of them stood there on that
rocky outcropping?
I’d never know the answers to those questions. What I did
know was that Will was going to be tried for May’s murder,
that he was going to be found guilty, that he was going to go to
prison.
I think it was the Op who said it. The detective’s job is to
write stories. We use the bits and pieces we have. Sometimes we
write stories that save the people who need saving. Sometimes,
no matter how clever the story, those people can’t be saved.
The best stories, however, are the ones that help punish the
guilty. Whether they’re true or not is irrelevant.
“Look alive, Cece,” Rabbit said. “Anticipate what’s coming.”
That day at the car wash, I’d anticipated what was coming.
That’s why I’d brought Rafe’s mini-microphone with me, so
I could record whatever Lisa Lapelt might let slip. She hadn’t
admitted anything outright about the blackmail, but she’d
wound up implicating all of them—herself, Maren, Rafe, and
Will—and with Diana’s testimony, it might have been enough.
But in the end, I’d tossed the tape I’d made that day into a
Dumpster.
The story needed rewriting. The ending was wrong. The
right people didn’t get saved.
323
I don’t mean Lisa. I wasn’t sure she was worth saving. But
she had children who needed her. They were worth saving.
Which meant she wasn’t worth destroying.
And Rafe?
And Maren?
They were destroyed already.
Rabbit called out my name. A set of waves was coming our
way. Quickly, he helped me turn my board around so I was
facing the shore. He held it firmly in place as the first wave
flowed under us.
“You’re going to get this next one, okay? It’s coming,” Hog
said. “This is it! Go! Now!”
Rabbit gave me a serious shove, and as I felt the wave start
to carry me along, I pushed myself up with my arms. When
the wave began to curl, I jumped into a halfhearted crouch.
“What the fuck is that? Pop the fuck up!” a voice com-
manded me.
I was scared. I felt it everywhere—in my stomach, in my
legs, in my chest. Then I stopped being scared, and that’s when
it happened. I stood up, catching the wave for a maybe a sec-
ond, maybe two. Then, just as quickly, the nose of the board
was caught by the wave’s front end and hitting the point of no
return, hurled me into the churning foam. As the water rushed
over my head, the roaring sound obliterated any sense of time
or place. I covered my head, praying my board wouldn’t whack
me. I had no sense of where its 144 inches and extremely sharp
fin were in relation to my body.
When I surfaced, the board was floating in front of me,
well out of the concussion zone.
“Wa-hoo!” Hog yelled, giving me a high five.
Rabbit grinned, then blew his nose into his fingers.
324
We surfed for the next few hours. I had Rafe Simic to thank
for that, but I never saw him again. Our lives had intersected
for a time, but that time was over. He lived in Fiji for several
years, and when he returned, he became a face on a screen
again, a picture in a magazine. Which was exactly as it was sup-
posed to be. Real life didn’t suit him.
Afterward, Gambino was waiting for me on the sand. We
had a breakfast date.
“How’d she do?” he asked Hog.
“She sucked, like all groms. Maybe a little less.”
Rabbit spit out saltwater. “She don’t give up easy.”
“Out of the mouths of babes,” Gambino said.
He helped me out of my wet suit and grabbed a towel out
of my bag. “I got a postcard from Caracas, Venezuela, of all
places, today,” he said, drying off my back.
“Oh, yeah?” I asked, looking over my shoulder.
“Yeah. Turns out we have a friend in common. Someone
who says she’ll be eternally grateful to you.” He turned me
around by the thin straps of my bikini. “Her mother, too.”
I looked into his eyes, and for the second time that day
stopped being scared. “Maybe we can visit them on our honey-
moon.”
“There has to be a wedding first,” he said.
“I’ve got the dress,” I said. “I’m ready.”
Hog piped up, “Tonight’s gonna be a full moon.”
Then he and Rabbit slapped each other on the butt and
made those low, growling noises. But I wasn’t paying attention.
I was already somewhere else, far away, rewriting the ending of
my own story.
Thanks, as always, to my sage editor, Carolyn Marino, and su-
perlative agent, Sandy Dijkstra, as well as to the dedicated peo-
ple in their offices, in particular Taryn Fagerness and Samantha
Hagerbaumer.
Thanks are also due to Deborah Michel and Didi Dunphy
for their support and plot-tuning expertise; Captain David
Campbell of the Los Angeles Coroner’s Office, who showed
me around the place and indulged my many questions; Don
Herron, whose Dashiell Hammett Walking Tour of San Fran-
cisco was as spellbinding as I’d always heard; and the impas-
sioned William P. Arney, current resident of 891 Post, Sam
Spade’s apartment, recently designated a literary landmark.
There are many excellent resources on Hammett’s life and
work. Of particular use were Julian Symons’s Dashiell Ham-
mett; Jo Hammett’s Dashiell Hammett: A Daughter Remembers;
Richard Layman’s Shadow Man: The Life of Dashiell Hammett;
and Diane Johnson’s Dashiell Hammett: A Life.
I could never forget Lawrence Block.
Margaret Waite introduced me to Palos Verdes and to the
real Maren, who shares nothing with her fictional counterpart.
My husband indoctrinated me into the cult of Hammett
and got me up on a surfboard. This book is for him.
SUSAN KANDEL
is a former art critic for the
Los Angeles Times
.
She has taught at New York University and UCLA, and served as
the editor of the international journal
artext.
She lives with her
family in West Hollywood, California.
You can visit her website at
www.susankandel.com.
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A L S O B Y S U S A N K A N D E L
Not a Girl Detective
I Dreamed I Married Perry Mason
Designed by Jeffrey Pennington
This book is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, and
dialogue are drawn from the author’s imagination and are not to be
construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons,
living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
SHAMUS IN THE GREEN ROOM. Copyright © 2006 by Susan
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