Shared for Love (Kagan Wolves) (15 page)

“And that’s great, but it doesn’t explain why he let the fucker live!” She spat the words in Noah’s face.

“He had to. He…” Noah ground his teeth. “Can’t you just be glad he’s able to claim you?” He cupped her face in his hands. “He’s going to soul-bond to you. Love you for eternity. I want him to do that. I want him to hold you close so you’re never alone.” He pressed his forehead to hers. “Being alone hurts, Hannah. I don’t want you to ever experience it.”

Ethan ran his hand down Noah’s back before pulling Hannah close. She didn’t fight him. She looked at him with tears in her eyes. “The truth is that I didn’t challenge Michael because I couldn’t take a mate.”

Her expression softened. “You were waiting for your true mate.”

He wanted to agree, knowing it would make her feel special. It’d be a lie. He refused to tell her any.

“I was waiting for a female to arouse me.” At her pinched brow, he sighed. “No female before you ever got my dick to rise. I couldn’t become alpha without a mate. You know how it works. Without a mate, I can’t produce an heir. Every dominant from our pack and across the states would’ve challenged me.”

She mapped his face with her gaze. Trying to pick out his lie, maybe? He didn’t know, nor did he want to guess what she thought.

She rested her hand over his cheek. “How is that possible?”

He leaned into her touch and closed his eyes. “I don’t know. I felt like a failure for so long. Other than Noah, I’ve never wanted anyone else sexually.”

She sucked in a breath. “You…”

“Yes.” He met her shocked gaze. “You heard me right. You and Noah are the only two people I ever got aroused for.” He took her hand in his and twined their fingers. “Now do you understand why I struggled with my attraction to you? I couldn’t bear the thought of losing him in order to be with you, and it was driving me mad.”

He held his other hand out to Noah. The moment their fingers met, Ethan drew him close. “I love you both, more than either of you can ever imagine. I don’t care if we call each other true mates or mates of the heart. You’re both mine. Simple as that.”

Emotions painted themselves across Hannah’s face. From disbelief to confusion to happiness—the rampant flowed through her. He took satisfaction in seeing every one, not because he enjoyed upsetting her. The pleasure came from knowing see trusted him enough to share them.

Ethan brushed the edge of their joined hand over her cheek. “I see the questions in your eyes. Ask whatever is bothering you. I want no secrets or doubts between us.”

“I’ve heard you keep regular human…umm…”

A smile tugged at his lips. He bit his inner cheek to keep it at bay. “Hookers?”

“Yes.” She nodded. “How could you if…”

He kissed the tip of her nose. “I do have several women who I would visit every couple of weeks. I paid them to have dinner with me and keep my secret. Pathetic, I know.”

“It’s not.” She smiled, a full, beautiful one that spread warmth through him. “I’m sure those women enjoyed your company.”

All the odd friendships he’d developed over the years surfaced. The joy on their faces when he’d shown up with take-out bags or ingredients for meals had been a treat he’d savored.

“They did.” He snorted. “It was still pathetic, but I had no choice. I couldn’t let anyone suspect the truth. How could I? It would’ve made me appear weak. I hated feeling less of a male, and even tried pleasuring shifter females years ago, hoping their arousal would spark mine. It didn’t work. Nothing did, not until I met—”

“Me.” Her whispered word held awe.

“Yes, not until you.” He linked his arms around her waist. “And now that you know the truth, do you still want me?”

She kissed him. Love—that was what he felt in every soft stroke of her tongue against his. He gave it back, pouring his feelings into her. It wasn’t hard when she held him. She made it easy, actually. It was impossible not to give her everything.

She eased back and glanced between him and Noah. “Yes. I want both of you, but if we go to my pack’s ceremonial field, there’s a chance we might get caught. Granted, it’s a slim chance. Only the alpha family has the right to go there on any night other than the full moon, and I doubt Nic will be there. Riley’s been tired because of the babies.”

Ethan skimmed his hand over her hair, smoothing the wayward strands. “Would any of your pack mates betray our secret?”

“No, but…” She peeked at Noah. He watched her through narrowed eyes. She turned away, shaking her head. “Nothing, it’s nothing.”

Noah’s nostrils flared. “She doesn’t want anyone to know I’m going to be a part of her life.”

She faced Noah. “I didn’t say that. I was merely—”

“Enough.” Ethan’s command dropped between them, silencing both of them. He tied her robe, then swung her into his arms. “We can’t expect this to be easy. Each of us needs to grow accustomed to our unusual relationship.”

He glanced at Noah, letting him see the warning in his eyes not to ruin their fragile arrangement. “It’ll take time, which we’re short on at the moment. We have our life ahead of us to strengthen our bond, but only tonight to love Hannah for the first time.”

Noah nodded sharply. “I’ll go on ahead and make sure there’s nobody nearby.”

He turned and strode out of the house before Ethan could call him back.

“I didn’t mean to upset him. It’s just that…” She nibbled her lip.

“I understand. We both do.”

“Do you? I’m excited about the idea of being with the two of you, but it feels naughty, like I should be ashamed to want any other male besides my mate.” She turned imploring eyes on him. “As a female shifter, we’re raised thinking we’ll only love our mate, even if he’s not our true mate.”

He gave her a wan smile. “I felt like an asshole for six months thinking the same thing. I’m tired of fighting fate. Somehow, I have two mates. I’m not stupid enough to turn my back on either of you, so let’s take the leap of faith and love each other.” He skimmed his gaze to her breasts. “And I’ve waited a long time to lose myself in a woman. I don’t want to wait another hour, let alone another night.”

“Neither do I, Ethan. Neither do I.” She kissed his throat and slid her hand over the hard dick hidden by his pants. “So let’s make this one memorable.”

Chapter Sixteen

Power hung in the air around the Kagan’s ceremonial circle. It tasted different on Ethan’s tongue from his pack’s energy, but it resonated within him the same way. The mystical spirit recognized him. The similarity reminded Ethan of one truth—no matter which pack they belonged to, they were all tied together.

He stood on the very edge of the ring marking the sacred grounds and let the welcoming touch of the Kagan’s spirit strengthen him, much as he suspected it did for Nic whenever he came to the spot. No temptation to claim the source of the power teased Ethan’s mind the way it did near his pack’s circle. He simply felt peace, even acceptance. It was as if he’d finally come home, even though he knew the patch of grass didn’t belong to him.

Hannah’s satisfied groan yanked his attention to her. She’d taken several steps into the field and stood with her arms stretched slightly behind her and her head tipped back. A smile graced her lips.

Mine.

The single word settled over him, and everything it implied wove into his being. It meant more than possession, though that was part of it. She was the one who’d mend the crack in his broken heart, binding both halves of him together—animal and man.

He glanced at Noah, who mirrored his position on the opposite side of the circle. Noah shifted his gaze from Hannah to him. Anticipation and lust gave his green eyes a shimmering quality, mesmerizing Ethan.

A lifetime of memories and understanding passed between them. The truth Noah had given Hannah about wanting her to mate Ethan hadn’t been an empty statement to ease her uncertainty. Noah had experienced grief and didn’t want Ethan or Hannah to ever feel it. The selflessness behind his conviction intensified the bond between them.

He gave his lover a small nod and approached Hannah, stepping close but not touching her. “Are you ready to become mine?”

She straightened. Lip caught between her teeth, she tugged his shirt from his pants and undid the buttons, working her way from the top to the bottom. The material parted. She ran her palm over the contours of his stomach. Her breathing quickened, but she didn’t move to undress him further.

She raised her gaze to him. “But I won’t be yours until you mate me. Not completely.”

“I will mate you. Tomorrow night, right after I become alpha.” He stroked a single finger over the delicate spot on her shoulder that would soon mark her as his. “You’ll be waiting for me in my bed.”

“Won’t it be dangerous for me to be there? I’ve heard—”

“You won’t be alone. Noah will guard you.”

Ethan traced a path over her upper chest, right along the edge of her robe. He wanted it off her, but if he undid the tie and exposed her body, he’d be lost. It couldn’t happen yet. She wanted to talk. He wanted her on her knees, his dick in her mouth. Her needs came first.

“And what if you decide…” She glanced away.

He tipped her head back to look into her face. “What?”

“What if you decide tomorrow that loving me was a mistake?”

Again Ethan wondered who had hurt her. It was the only explanation he could come up with for her insecurity. He let the curiosity go. They’d have time to talk about the past later. The present concerned him.

“I could ask you the same thing. My lack of experience with a female’s body might change your mind.” He grinned. “Maybe I won’t satisfy you.”

She huffed. “I don’t think that’ll be a problem.”

He shrugged. “You won’t know until I try.”

“Then try.” She caressed his cock with the back of her hand. “And after you make me come, I’ll return the favor.”

He shook his head. “No, my beautiful Hannah. I want your orgasm to pull my seed free. I want us to come together.”

Noah stepped behind him and rested his fingertips on Ethan’s hip. “Then you need to make sure she’s ready for you. That she’s aroused enough to accept your cock. She’ll be a tight fit for you.”

Ethan slid his hand under her robe and skimmed his fingers up her inner thigh to her cleft. The wetness of her arousal coated her lower lips, tempting him to explore her, but he stilled his fingers and glanced at Noah. “Do you think so?”

“Yes.” Noah popped the button on Ethan’s pants, then dragged the zipper down. He slipped his hand inside and fisted Ethan’s dick, giving it a rough tug. “You’re wide, Ethan, and long. You’ll have to work yourself inside her. Rock into her. Little by little, stretching her so she fits you like a glove.”

Hannah made a soft sound, something between a sigh and whimper. Ethan turned his attention back to her and found her watching Noah stroke Ethan’s dick. After a moment, she glanced into his face. Desire simmered in her eyes. He kept his gaze on her but asked Noah, “Do you think she’ll like that?”

“She’ll love it. Won’t you, Hannah?”

She nodded. “Yes.”

“Then let Ethan see you. Show him the body that’ll soon belong to him.”

Noah’s command directed her hand. She undid the tie on her robe. The anticipation of finally seeing her naked seized Ethan. She grasped the satiny edge and pushed it from her arms, letting the fabric pool on the ground at her feet. The body revealed stopped his heart. It raced a moment later with the need to possess her. He held it at bay. He wanted to sear her image into his memory.

He swept his gaze over her, thankful the nearly full moon combined with his enhanced vision allowed him to take in the details. Her bare cleft glistened, confirming what he’d felt by touching her. She was already aroused and ready for him. He cupped her sex, needing to feel her heat. She widened her stance, an invitation to take from her what he wanted.

He would. He’d take everything. Not yet, though. He left his hand in place, not teasing her, not stroking her, simply showing them both he had the right to touch her any way he wanted. He held her and skimmed his other hand over her breasts, one, then the other, pebbling her nipples until they stood erect.

“Mmm…I don’t know where to start.” He caught one hard bud between his thumb and forefinger. He alternated between tugging and rolling it, watching the look of desire darken her eyes, before letting her nipple slip free.

“Lick me.” She rubbed her groin over his hand and pressed her breast against his hand. “I want your mouth on me.”

“Anywhere?”

“My clit. Suck on it. Flick it. Tease it.” She wiggled more against him. “I ache, Ethan.”

Her demand came without a please. He sighed. She’d have to wait, then, despite his desire to do exactly what she’d commanded.

He dipped his head and traced the swell of one of her breasts, working his way from the valley between them before moving on to her other one. With slow strokes, he licked a path to her areola but avoided her sensitive tip, circling it. All the while, he listened to her breathing and savored every soft sound she made.

Another swipe of his tongue, and he inched his way closer to her nipple. She squirmed, an attempt to get his mouth where she wanted it. He moved with her and kept up the slow exploration, tasting every inch of her breast, except for her nipple.

She made a frustrated noise. “Lick me. Don’t tease me. I’ve waited so long for you to touch me like this.”

“Six months isn’t that long.” He knew it was for her. She’d already told him that, but he enjoyed the sound she’d made. He wanted to hear it again.

She rewarded him with another annoyed groan. “Ethan, please touch me. I—”

He dragged his flattened tongue over her nipple, stopping her rant. She arched into him, pressing her breast into his mouth. He took the hint and latched on to her plump flesh, sucking hard. Her nipple brushed the roof of his mouth, making it water. He gave in to his need and suckled on her, alternating between rough pulls of his mouth and laving licks of his tongue.

“Yes, there.” She curled her fingers around the back of his neck, holding him in place. “Feels good.”

It did. Soft yet firm, her breasts intrigued him. He wanted to play with them and make her come just from teasing her nipples, but primitive demands beat at him. The female he’d chosen to be his was in his arms, aroused and ready to accept him. He needed to be inside her, to finally feel the wet, welcoming grip of her body on his cock.

The compulsion grew. He pressed the heel of his palm against her cleft. She countered his movement, easing back, then pushing against him. He took the hint and moved with her, stimulating and teasing her. More of her arousal flowed, coating his hand. The warmth of her body lured him closer. He lazily stroked her with his middle finger while he suckled on her breast.

“More, Ethan.” She pressed her short nails into his neck and moved quicker against him. “Please.”

Her demand became one he couldn’t resist. He straightened two of his fingers and pushed them into her opening on a steady thrust. Her soft inner muscles gripped them while her breath rushed out. He held still a moment, enjoying the warmth of her, but his hungers grew. He want to feel the same on his dick.

“She’s tight, isn’t she?” Noah’s question reminded him of his earlier point.

“Yes.” Ethan lifted his head and focused on her face. “You haven’t been with a male in a while, have you?”

“No.” She shook her head slowly. “It’s been over a year. I like sex, but the older I got, the less of a thrill it gave me. I was missing something, and I felt foolish looking for it with males who would never be my mate.”

Ethan pushed his fingers as deep into her body as he could and stroked her, stimulating her. Her core quivered, and a shudder ran through her. He eased back before her orgasm could build. “And now? Does this feel good? What you were missing?”

“Yes. This feels good. Right.” She squeezed her inner muscles, tightening her grip on him. “But I need you inside me.”

“You have part of me inside you now.” He fucked her with his fingers, exploring her core and familiarizing himself with her body. “Isn’t that enough?”

He didn’t know why he teased her. He wanted to slip his dick into her as much as she wanted it.

Her frustrated whimper surrounded him. “No. I want your cock. Fuck me. Please. I’m ready for you.”

The desperation in her tone appealed to him. It was what he’d been waiting for. He eased his fingers from her body and held his hand out to Noah. “Taste her.”

Noah took Ethan’s hand and licked his fingers with slow strokes. He curled his tongue around each and sucked them into his mouth. A shudder ran through Ethan from the sensation of Noah’s mouth tugging on his fingers, while Hannah whimpered, her gaze on Noah’s face.

“Does she taste good?” he asked Noah.

“Delicious. Like heaven. Our heaven.”

Ethan pulled his hand free, then brushed his thumb over Noah’s lips. “Yes. Ours.” He faced Hannah. “And I need to experience more. Undress me.”

She ran her hands over his chest and shoved at the edges of his shirt. Tugging slightly, she drew the material down his arms. She let it slip, then turned her focus to his pants. Noah had unzipped them but hadn’t taken them off. Ethan was glad. The look of hunger on Hannah’s face was priceless.

She curled her fingers around the waistband and yanked. The rough move caught him off guard. His breath rushed out, and he grabbed her shoulders, pushing her back. She grinned and dropped to her knees. It wasn’t where he’d planned for her to end up tonight, but the moment wasn’t one he’d pass on.

He skimmed his palm over her hair and gathered the long locks in his hand. He urged her to look at him. “What are you doing, my Hannah?”

“Returning the favor, exactly as I said I would.”

“I didn’t make you come.”

She shook her head. “No, you didn’t. You teased me.”

“So what?” He raised a brow. “You plan to do the same to me?”

“I keep my promises, Ethan. If you’re going to get me hot and leave me aroused, I’ll do the same to you. Besides”—a wicked grin spread over her face—“I do want you ready for me.”

He chuckled. The woman would follow his direction, but not blindly and not without adding her input. It was the same thing about Noah that appealed to Ethan. Did he really expect Hannah to be different?

He kicked off his shoes, then his pants, but left his boxers on. With a hold on her hair, he drew her closer. “Then make sure I’m hard for you. Suck my cock.”

She closed her mouth over his silk-covered dick and nibbled on his length, working her way from his balls to the ridge around the head. The teasing nips aroused him as much as they frustrated him.

He gave her hair a small tug. “Give me what I need.”

She growled softly and bit a little harder. His eyes drifted shut on a groan. It hadn’t been what he meant, but the hint of pain appealed to him. “Hannah, more.”

She gave it to him, nipping and nibbling on his length until he panted. One more firm bite, and he stiffened, curling his fingers tighter around the lock of her hair he held. Before he had to tug her off him, she dragged her tongue over his length, wetting the fabric of his boxers. The material clung to him.

He shifted away from her, needing to get them off. She didn’t let him go. She moved to the head of his cock and sucked on the tip. He couldn’t decide if he enjoyed the sensation or not. She didn’t give him the chance to figure it out. She skimmed her open mouth down the length to his balls. He held his breath, anticipating her pulling each into her mouth and rolling them. She cupped them in her hand instead, massaging them.

“You’re killing me, Hannah.” He released the hold he had on her hair and sifted his fingers through the strands, letting the feel of her silken locks tease him and add to the moment. “Open your mouth and suck on my dick.”

She drew his boxers down but didn’t swallow him. She licked him. Worshipped him. Made him crazed. He wanted to demand again she suck him, but couldn’t get the words out. He couldn’t do much of anything. His entire focus centered on Hannah and the way she touched him, the way she loved him.

“Hannah.” It was all he could get out, and he wasn’t even sure what he meant by saying her name.

Noah laid a hand on his arm. “She’s fucking gorgeous with your cock in her mouth.”

Ethan wanted to see if the look on Noah’s face matched the desire in his tone, but he couldn’t tear his gaze from Hannah. The slow, sensual, and leisurely strokes she delivered to him pushed him higher. A drop of sweat trickled down his spine, but he held still for her, letting her tease him.