Shark Out of Water (25 page)

His hand grabbed the door handle to his car, though he could not remember actually leaving the restaurant. “I am on my way,” he said quickly before yanking the door closed and blasting out of his parking space. “
Je viens
,” he whispered as he tried to hold off the pain and fear tightening in around him. “I am coming.”

Chapter 28

Pour la Famille

Guy burst out of the elevator and ran through the empty halls. He had not needed to ask Carmody where Charlotte would be taken. Myles was already there. He had called Guy on his way to the hospital and explained what he had already assumed amid his panic. Charlotte’s depleted immune system could not be subjected to the myriad of bacteria and viruses in the Emergency Room. She would be rushed up to the Intensive Care Unit to a room protected from any other sources of possible infection.

Rounding a corner, he almost crashed into the crowd of people gathered there. He should not have been surprised to see not only Carmody’s family, but Eli and Leila with her rounded stomach, Vance and Stephanie, and Leo as well. A frightened Warren huddled in Leila’s arms until he saw Guy. The terrified little boy squirmed out of Leila’s grasp and ran to Guy, who scooped him up into a massive hug.

Wet tears pressed between their faces as Warren cried.  “Is Mommy going to die?”

In the silent hallway, everyone heard his response. “Shh, do not speak like that,
mon petit homme
. Her doctors will do everything they can to make her better. We must have faith.”

“I’m scared,
Papa Guy
,” Warren whispered, more tears cascading down his cheeks.

“Me too,” he admitted quietly.

No one said anything as the fractured little family held each other. Vance’s hand on his shoulder gave him some comfort, but Guy knew the situation was precarious. Charlotte was in her sixth month of chemo, but her body had taken it hard, even after the administration was slowed down to try and help her cope better. That had not been the only complication. Charlotte’s kidneys had started to feel the strain as well, and Guy feared for her now.

Myles broke up the group as he approached. “We have Charlotte settled for the time being. She won’t be allowed visitors without proper infection control procedures being followed and full personal protective equipment being worn. Even then, only one person…” He paused when he looked at Warren. “…or a parent and child, will be allowed in. We can’t risk more than that.”

He told everyone where the nearest waiting room was, and then asked Guy to speak with him privately. Charlotte had long ago given him permission to discuss her case with him. She had also given him power to make medical decisions for her if she could not. Given the expression on Myles’ face, Guy realized Charlotte had still not woken up. The fear he was already carrying pressed down on him even more.

“I’ve already sent cultures to the lab with rush orders,” Myles began. “For the time being, I’ve started her on a cocktail of broad spectrum antibiotics, but I could only start her on the basics.”

“Why?” Guy demanded. “This needs to be treated aggressively. She needs the strongest antibiotic. Vancomycin, something more. She…”

“Guy,” Myles interrupted, “Vancomycin is nephrotoxic.”

It was a simple phrase, information Guy already knew, but it rocked him. He leaned against the wall and struggled to hold himself together. Several of the chemotherapy drugs Charlotte was being treated with had the potential to damage her kidneys, and they had already begun to see the signs of such a side effect. She was tested regularly to monitor her renal output, and Guy knew Myles had been worried about a recent decline in function. Guy had not yet learned the results of her last test, but Myles’ comment told him everything. The results had not been good.

“How serious is it?”

Myles sighed and rubbed at his face. “The last test showed a significant drop in renal function. I ordered more tests to be sure, but my best guess is tumor lysis syndrome. All the cancer cells being destroyed, her kidneys simply can’t keep up with the toxic waste products and it’s built up in her system. Add in this infection and…Guy, this isn’t going to be an easy fight for her.”

“But, that’s supposed to be more predominant in men. And it’s such a small percentage. She was given medication to prevent this. How…”

“Guy, everything you’re saying is true, but women still experience this on occasion, and even with the medication, there’s always still a chance it won’t work as well as we’d like. We did everything we could to prevent it, but she’s still in this situation and all we can do now is try to manage it as best we can.”

“What do we do? How do we…?”

Myles’ hand clamped down on his shoulder, halting his panicked words. “Guy, give me some time to get the test results back. Let me figure out what caused the infection, first. I need to know that before I can make any other decisions. Why don’t you go in and sit with her for a few minutes, let her know you’re here with her, okay?”

Guy nodded numbly. He felt Myles pat his shoulder gently before walking away, leaving Guy in the middle of the hallway. Vague thoughts that he should go find Warren and take him in to see his mother floated in the distance, but he started walking on his own. He was scared, terrified to walk into the room and see not Charlotte, but a dying woman. He could not subject Warren to that… not until he could prepare him.

Walking into the decontamination room, Guy ignored the woman there to give instructions and began the process on his own. It had been years since he scrubbed in for surgery, but he felt as if he were doing so now. The harsh soap and brush scoured his skin as he worked in silence. He did not know, nor care if the woman had stopped trying to give him instructions. He knew what he was doing and he would not let her stop him from seeing Charlotte. She did not say a word as he put on the protective clothing and entered the germ-free room.

He could not look at her at first. He stood at the edge of the room, terrified. He had seen her only a few hours earlier. She had been tired, worn out, but awake and in good spirits. He never should have left her. Guilt assaulted him, rooting him to the floor. How could he have left her when he knew she was not feeling well? Why did he not stay?

Guy was not sure how long he stood there second-guessing and blaming himself before finally taking a step toward her. It killed him to see her still body lying beneath the blankets. Surprisingly, Charlotte had not lost her hair during chemo, but she had lost weight and color and energy. She looked so frail as he sat down next to her bed. His gloved hand took hers gently, and he was startled by the heat radiating off her skin. Even through two layers of gloves, he could feel her burning up.

His head dropped to the bed, tears fell, and he begged her for forgiveness.

“Dr. Guy,” a woman’s voice said quietly, sometime later, “your son is here.”

Dragging his head up from the bed, Guy turned toward the voice. He saw the woman who had tried to help him earlier holding the gloved hand of a little boy covered in protective clothing. All he could see of Warren was his wide eyes peering at him above the too large mask covering his mouth and nose, but those eyes were filled with fear greater than anything Guy could hope to understand. It was the fear of a child who knew he may lose his mother, the center of his world.

Guy reached out, and Warren ran to him. They collided in a cloud of pain, but being near each other was a balm. Pulling Warren into his lap, he scooted closer to Charlotte’s bed so Warren could hold her hand. Warren said nothing. Fear would not let him. Guy could only hold the little boy he had come to consider his own. These two people meant more to him than anything else, but he feared he was on the verge of losing them both. Guy kissed the top of Warren’s head and held him.

When the nurse came to tell them it was time to step out, Warren cried and begged for more time. The woman, no doubt hardened by years of watching patients die, still struggled to deny him. Her eyes were glassy as she told him he could come back soon. He clung to Guy as he carried him out of the room. Leila and Carmody were there waiting and helped strip him of his protective clothing as they attempted to comfort him.

Eli and Vance waited nearby as Guy removed the papery gear. Neither one asked for details or prodded him for answers. Their presence was what he needed. They knew he would explain what he could when he was ready. For now, they supported him through their nearness, a hand on his shoulder, a gentle tug toward a chair. He could not bear to speak for fear that his darkest thoughts would come tumbling out if he did.

They were willing to wait, but Guy knew he needed to call Charlotte’s parents immediately, whether he was prepared to face them or not. As the phone rang, Guy worried they would blame him for Charlotte’s illness. Their view of him had not softened over the past months. When the ringing stopped, so did Guy’s breathing.

“Hello?”

“Mr. Martin, this is Guy Saint Laurent.”

“Yes,” he said warily.

“Charlotte, she…she has been admitted to the hospital. It is a very serious infection.”

The rustle of clothing Guy heard made it clear the man knew in an instant how dangerous the situation was. “Where is Charlotte? I want to speak to her.”

“You cannot. I’m sorry. She is has not woken up yet. Her fever is very high.” Guy took in a shaky breath. “I know travelling is not easy for you or your wife, but it would be best if you were both here, in case…she would want you both to be with her.”

For a long moment, there was no sound. Charlotte’s father sounded frightened when he finally said, “We’ll be there as soon as we can.” The call ended after that, leaving Guy alone.

When he pocketed his phone and felt it vibrating almost immediately after, he hesitated. He worried it would be Charlotte’s mother, who cared for him not at all. His hand seemed to move of its own volition, as if it knew better than he what he should do. He stared at the phone, at Sabine’s number pulsing on the screen. Suddenly, he needed to hear his sister’s voice.

Stepping away from the others as he answered the call, his voice was childlike as he said, “Sabine, I need you.”

“I know, brother,” she said softly. “I am on my way. My flight leaves in ten minutes. I’ll be there soon. Do not give up hope. She will be all right.”

“How…you’re coming? But…”

“Eli called me,” Sabine said. “I booked a flight as soon as I hung up.
Maman et Papa
, they are coming, too.”

Momentarily stunned, Guy struggled to find words. “
Maman et Papa
are coming here?” Guy’s parents had never once traveled to the United States to visit him since he left home.

“
Oui
, of course they are coming. This is what we do
pour la famille
. For you. For Charlotte and Warren. For family. No matter what happens, we will be there.”

Guy’s hand pressed to his face as tears slipped free. “
Merci
, Sabine.
Je t'aime, ma soeur
.”

“
Je t'aime beaucoup
. I will see you soon, big brother.”

Feeling strangely hopeful, Guy stuffed his phone back in his pocket. Nothing had changed with Charlotte, but knowing his parents and sister would be there soon to support them dampened his fear just enough to keep from being consumed by it.

Vance walked over to him a few seconds later with Warren in tow. Guy immediately picked up Warren, but told Vance, “Sabine and my parents are on their way.”

Seeming unsurprised by this announcement, Vance only nodded. Warren’s head popped up from his shoulder. “
Grand-maman
and
Grand-papa
Saint Laurent are coming, and Auntie Sabine?” Despite his fear for his mother, he seemed heartened by the announcement. Then his brow furrowed. “Are Grandma and Grandpa Martin coming, too?”

Guy nodded slowly, but faltered as a new sense of panic gripped him. Charlotte’s parents had not changed their minds about him since the first few weeks, though her father seemed more open to the idea of Guy than her mother. They would come to be with their daughter, but if Charlotte did not recover, they would take Warren away from him.

Chapter 29

Mon Fils

The hand on his shoulder jolted him out of a nightmare. Guy’s heart was pounding as his eyes snapped open, searching for the source. He found it in Myles, who was squatting down next to his chair. He had no idea what time it was, but the waiting room was silent except for the sound of breathing. Guy had attempted to send Warren with Michael when he took Lily home, or with Leila when Eli insisted she go home to rest, but he refused. He lay sprawled across his lap, only shifting in response to Guy’s sudden movement.

“Charlotte’s parents just arrived. They’re on their way up,” Myles said.

“What times is it?”

Myles looked exhausted, and Guy guessed he had been up all night. “About five in the morning.”

“Do you have any news?”

“The infection is bacterial. I switched Charlotte to piperacillin and pefloxacin about an hour ago. If she doesn’t show improvement, we may have to risk vancomycin, but for now, we’ll see how she does on the new drugs.”

Guy nodded slowly as his sleep-weary mind struggled to process the new information. He knew he should ask Myles for a prognosis, for Charlotte’s chance of recovering, but he did not. He was too afraid. Instead, he focused on Myles’ first piece of news.

“I’ll meet Charlotte’s parents at the elevator.”

Myles paused for a moment, clearly having expected more questions about Charlotte from his friend, but he only nodded. He had been in this type of situation too many times not to understand. He patted Guy’s shoulder roughly and stood. “Would you like me to sit with Warren for a few minutes?”

Carmody and Eli had both stayed, as well as Vance, but everyone else was still asleep. Warren did not know Myles well, despite the amount of time Guy and Charlotte had spent with him. If he woke and found himself with someone unfamiliar, he would be even more frightened. Guy shook his head and hefted the boy’s limp body into his arms. Warren’s face crinkled in annoyance, but he settled back into sleep a second later. Myles helped him up and walked with him toward the elevator.

“I’ve been meaning to apologize to you for a while,” Myles said, not looking at Guy.

“For what?”

Myles stuck his hands in his pockets. “For doubting you.” He finally looked over at his friend. “When you came to me after I first told you Charlotte was my patient, I wasn’t kind to you. I told you to stay away from her. I thought you’d only be a momentary distraction and then leave her when things got tough. I underestimated you.”

For the first time since Carmody’s call, Guy smiled. “Well, I did not give you reason to assume anything else. It is all right. I doubted myself as well.”

“You proved us both wrong, then,” Myles said with a faint laugh. “You’re a good man, Guy. I always suspected you were, but you sure tried hard to make me think otherwise.”

“Foolishness of youth,” Guy said. He meant it, too. Life before meeting Charlotte seemed like years distant instead of months. He could not imagine ever going back to the life he had been living. Commitment had seemed so pointless, an exercise that only made two people worse versions of themselves as they attempted and failed to change into someone they were not.

Guy now realized that was not what it meant. He had changed for Charlotte, but not because he was trying to become the person she desired him to be. He changed because he wanted to be someone worthy of her love. It was difficult to know if he would ever truly become that person. There were still many things he needed to improve, many times he failed and fell short. He kept trying, though, because she was too important not to.

As they reached the elevators to wait, Myles looked at Guy seriously. “How are Charlotte’s parents going to handle this?”

“I honestly do not know,” Guy said. “I have never met them.”

“You haven’t?”

Guy shook his head. “We have not been able to visit them, and Charlotte said it is not easy for them to travel. Her father has trouble sitting in the car for long periods of time because of a back injury and her mother has very poor vision. She cannot drive any longer.”

“I’m amazed they made it here,” Myles said with a shake of his head. “I assume you’ve spoken with them, though. They know you, at least.”

Hesitating, Guy sighed. “Aside from calling them tonight, no, I have not spoken with them. To be honest, they do not approve of me or my relationship with Charlotte. It has been a source of tension since we have been together.”

Myles seemed quite surprised by the news. He shook his head sadly. “Well, hopefully they’ll put Charlotte’s needs ahead of their personal feelings. She will need their support.”

“You do what you must for family,” Guy said, but secretly, he worried as well.

Myles nodded, but the longer they stood there waiting, the more anxious Guy felt. Warren squirmed in his arms as if he felt his discomfort even in his sleep. After a few minutes, Myles noticed as well. “Guy, is everything all right?”

Sighing heavily, Guy said, “Charlotte’s parents will likely put on a good face with me, but I do not know how long it will last with all the other stresses already present. I am worried of how it will affect Warren. He is already afraid that if Charlotte cannot care for him, they will take him away to live with them.”

“And you’re scared of the same thing.”

Guy’s head dropped before nodding in silence.

Myles clapped his hand on Guy’s back reassuringly. “Don’t worry too much. The minute they see how you are with Warren, they’ll understand why he and Charlotte love you so much.”

Hope that his friend was right settled around him. It nearly fled a moment later when a sound announced the arrival of the elevator. Guy’s arms tightened around Warren reflexively. He could barely breathe as the doors rolled open. Two people in their early-seventies stared out at them, their eyes darting between Myles and Guy. They looked uncertain as they started forward.

The man Guy assumed to be Charlotte’s father shuffled forward with a walking cane. Each step seemed to cause him pain, but he kept on. The woman next to him held his free arm and helped him forward as she eyed the man holding her grandson. The doors of the elevator sliding closed was the only sound until the woman finally spoke.

“You must be Guy,” she said, eyes still pinned to him.

Unable to determine whether there was animosity, or only exhaustion in her expression, Guy swallowed and answered. “Yes, I am Guy, Charlotte’s boyfriend.”

The woman’s expression crinkled. “Well, we are here now.” She reached out to take Warren while asking Myles, “Where is our daughter? We’d like to be updated on her status as soon as possible. Someone needs to be able to make informed decisions for her until she wakes up.”

Clearly rankled by their behavior, Myles crossed his arms over his chest. His reaction, in addition to the fact that Guy had no intention of releasing Warren, caused Charlotte’s mother to glare at them both.

“Mr. and Mrs. Martin, while I’m sure Charlotte will be very glad to know you’re both here for her, any decisions that need to be made will not be made by you or your husband. Charlotte named Dr. Saint Laurent as her medical power of attorney. I am sure he will discuss any decision to be made with you, but he will be the one to make any final decisions.”

“What?” Charlotte’s mother demanded. “But we’re her family, not him.”

Guy bristled at the comment, but Myles continued on politely. “Given that Guy has attended every chemo appointment with your daughter, not to mention the many meetings we’ve had to discuss her care, he’s capable of taking very good care of her. She trusted him with this responsibility, and I hope you will too. This is not the time to fight with each other. You will need each other’s support.”

Even though Guy knew Myles was right to get this out in the open from the beginning, he did not like how upset it had made Charlotte’s parents. “Mr. and Mrs. Martin, Charlotte chose me, not only because I love her very much, but because of practicality as well. We did not know if you would be able to be here in an emergency, and I do know all the details of her illness. I only want to make sure she is given the best care.”

Charlotte’s mother softened somewhat, but still did not seemed pleased with the situation at all. Mr. Martin, however, was more focused on his grandson than anything else. He struggled to approach, so Guy walked over to him. His hand rested gently on Warren’s sleeping form. “How is he handling this?” Mr. Martin asked.

“He is very scared,” Guy said honestly, “but we have many friends here in support. He is trying to be brave.”

“Of course he is,” Mr. Martin said, his chin trembling. “He’s strong, just like his mother.”

“
Oui
, he is.” Guy was relieved when he did not attempt to take Warren from him. He only patted his grandson once more and asked if there was somewhere he could sit.

A few minutes later, several chairs had been pulled up next to Charlotte’s room for them to sit in while they discussed what they knew. Both of Charlotte’s parents listened intently to everything Guy and Myles explained. Even though Charlotte had kept them up to date on her treatment, there was much they did not understand and had to be explained. As the details rolled on, Mrs. Martin’s hostility toward Guy being named as their daughter’s medical power of attorney faltered. She seemed to understand how much needed to be considered, and how much she did not know enough about to make those choices. Every time her eyes drifted to Warren, though, the anger returned.

The sun had risen by the time the discussion ended. Warren stirred in Guy’s arms. By the time his eyes finally rolled open, it was obvious he had not slept nearly enough, but the sight of his grandparents cleared away any sleepiness.

“Gramma and Grampa Martin!” he said happily. For a moment, he seemed to forget why they were there and jumped off Guy’s lap to hug them both. It was not until he pulled away and took in the sight of the hospital hallways that he remembered and his joyful expression evaporated. “You came to see Mom, right? To make sure she gets better?”

“Of course, little man, and to take care of you while your mommy is sick.”

Warren’s face scrunched in confusion. “But,
Papa Guy
will take care of me.”

Mrs. Martin frowned at Warren’s words. She clearly did not approve of him calling Guy
papa
. She stiffened even more as Warren backed away from them and stood next to Guy. Even Mr. Martin wore a sad expression. Guy could see it in Mrs. Martin’s eyes that she thought Guy had purposefully tried to turn her grandson against her for some reason. He had no idea why she would think that of him, but it was clear in her expression.

Squeezing Warren’s hand, Guy said, “We will all take care of you together. Me, your
grand-mère et grand-père
, Carmody and Michael, Leila, all our friends will help, because we all love you so much.”

Warren still seemed uncertain, and he would not let go of Guy, but when his grandmother reached out to him, he took her hand and smiled.

“I want to stay,” Charlotte’s father said, “but we have been driving all night and need to get some sleep. At least a few hours.”

Mrs. Martin nodded, though she also seemed quite reluctant to leave. “You’ll call us as soon as anything changes?” she asked Myles, rather than Guy. Myles frowned at her continued hostility, but nodded all the same. She turned her attention to Warren, then. “Why don’t you come with us? You still look very tired.”

“No,” Warren said firmly. “I’m staying here with Mommy and
Papa Guy
.”

Both Guy and Mr. Martin sighed while Charlotte’s mother frowned so deeply it seemed to split her face. She stood sharply. She pretended to speak to the group, but her eyes were boring through Guy. “We’ll sort this out when we’ve all gotten some sleep.”

Guy did not respond. He stood slowly and shook hands with Mr. Martin. His wife had already started down the hall. “Warren is just scared,” Guy said, feeling badly that their feelings had been hurt. “No one is trying to keep him from either of you. He just doesn’t know what is going to happen and that frightens him.”

“It frightens me, too,” Mr. Martin said. “I’ll speak to my wife. She’s scared as well.”

“I know.”

The two men parted ways, Guy collapsing back into the chair as soon as Charlotte’s parents were out of sight. Myles sat down next to him looking equally exhausted. Warren curled back up on Guy’s lap a moment later. All Guy wanted to do was sit there and close his eyes and not open them until Charlotte was well again.

“Guy,” Myles said, interrupting his tortured thoughts, “do you know if Charlotte has a will?”

He had to think about the answer. They had spoken about her making one at the same time they discussed the medical power of attorney. Guy had pressed her about the latter because he had been worried about her, but he was not sure if she had followed through on the will also. She never mentioned having one finalized. He could only shake his head in the end. “I am not sure.”

“You might want to find out,” Myles said. He shook his head sadly. “I’ve seen this too many times before. Family members are hurting and scared, so they take it out on each other. Charlotte’s mother is going to fight you tooth and nail for Warren.”