Shark Wars (8 page)

THE GAME WAS CALLED TUNA ROLL. “IT'S NOTHING
like the actual Tuna Run, but it'll help you work on your quickness and side-to-side movement. That's a good thing to have at Tuna Run and anywhere else in the Big Blue,” Goblin told Gray.

“Sounds like fun!” said Snork. The sawfish had regained some of his cheery nature since Gray saw him last.

Streak jabbed Ripper in the flank with her snout. “He'll be swimming the Sparkle Blue in the first five minutes of a real run.”

“Yeah, he's chum,” Ripper agreed in his gravelly voice.

“Quiet down, you two,” Goblin told them. He explained the game, which actually seemed fairly simple. There were two teams of six, symbolizing a leader and their Five in the Line. Both teams faced the same way. Gray, Barkley, and the other former members of Rogue Shiver were one team and hovered farther back. Goblin and his Line took their places closest to the starting end of the field of play.

Gray's team was about twenty good tail strokes, or a hundred yards, away from Goblin and near the end line of the field. He taught the landshark measuring system to Barkley, who found it to be both fascinating and useful. In the game, a single drove of exactly one hundred fish would try to zip by both teams. For every fish Goblin's group caught they received one point; any that Gray's team caught were worth two points, as the fish would have time to gain speed in the water between the two teams. Neither team could swim outside their own zone, marked by glowing lumos. “The object is to make quick decisions and catch some fish!”

“Wait, wait,” said Barkley, looking absolutely confused. “Are you forcing some poor dwellers to play a
game
in which they get eaten?” This struck Goblin and his team as hilarious. They laughed so hard they could barely breathe. Striiker and Mari also chuckled. Snork joined in, too, but Gray was pretty sure the sawfish didn't know why he was laughing.

“Forcing them?” Thrash could barely speak he was laughing so hard. “He thinks we're forcing them!”

“Like he's going to catch one anyway!” yelled Streak. Barkley gave her a glare, and she burst into another giggle fit.

“Wisko! Get out here!” yelled Goblin. A fish that Gray had never seen before streaked forward and stopped between the two groups. This fish knifed through the water with ease! It shined silver and was shaped like a long, thin spine with jagged fins pressed close to its body. “This is Wisko, the wahoo. She's been in charge of our Tuna Roll for the last three years.”

“She
what
?” Barkley asked, now even more confused.

“Watchu want, Goblin pup?” Wisko danced in front of the great white, tapping him on his head with her tail. For some reason this didn't bother Goblin at all, and he playfully snapped at the fish. “What's the hold up? Wahoo! We going or what? Or you too turtle to play today? Wa-hoo!”

“The dogfish is afraid we're
forcing
you to Tuna Roll with us,” Goblin said dryly.

“Who? Who said that? Him?” After Goblin nodded, Wisko jetted over to Barkley, hitting him in the face with a tremendous tail slap.

“Hey!” yelped Barkley. “I'm making sure you're not being abused! You obviously aren't a dumb grouping fish.”

“We invented Tuna Roll, dog breath!” said Wisko. “We play by different rules than the rest of the dwellers in the Big Blue. Hey, did you know you're named after a dumb land animal called a
dog
, which eats its own poo?”

“We're
not
named after it,” huffed Barkley. “It's named after us!”

“So you admit you eat your own poo? Ha ha!” said Wisko as she finned Barkley's snout with another blazing fast pass. “Wa-hoo!” Barkley got angry and darted after the wahoo, but never came close to catching her. She taunted him as he flailed about. “Over here! No, here! Too slow!”

“Only the fastest wahoo are chosen for the Tuna Roll by their leader—that's Wisko. It's a great honor for them to test themselves against us,” Velenka told everyone. “They're actually faster than the tuna we'll hunt at the run.”

“Waaay faster! Wa-hoo!” exclaimed Wisko, a flash of silver as she pirouetted in the water. “We are the fastest of the fast, the quickest of the quick! So quick, it'll make ya sick!” She flashed by Barkley again, making him duck. “We're also the best tasting fish in the sea, pups!”

Velenka continued, “Tonight we have to bring dinner to the wahoo who get by us. As you can see, they are insufferable winners. If they get eaten, that's also an honor. They call it the Way of the Wahoo.” The mako rolled her eyes as if she didn't totally get the Way of the Wahoo either.

“Wa-hoo! It sure is!” Wisko told everyone. “Getting old and slow is no way to go! So we dancin' or what, sharkkind?”

All thoughts of how the wahoo might be mistreated went totally out of Barkley's mind. He stared menacingly at the fish. Well, as menacingly as Barkley could stare, which wasn't very. “Then I'd love to ‘honor' you, Wisko.”

This comment got the dogfish another slap on the snout. “You'll be feeding me tonight, dog breath! Wahoo!” The fish twisted and swam back to the starting line, moving to a quirky beat in the tides only she heard.

“That is one odd fish,” Shell said.

“Odd or not, it's so on!” Barkley muttered to himself as he ground his teeth in annoyance.

“Ready!” yelled Goblin, and his entire team swum into a ragged formation. When he bellowed “SET!” the line moved into a perfect two-tiered V-formation with Streak and Churn hovering topside.

Gray's senses went into overdrive. He hadn't noticed before, but there were loads of dwellers around. Squid, eels, octopi, crabs, and other bottom dwellers gathered to watch near or on the craggy rock wall facing the field. Fish of all sorts and colors hovered with the tide; smallest in the front, largest in the back. There were even a few whales in the distance, although they'd need very good eyesight to see the game. All of this was interrupted by Goblin shouting, “ROLL!”

A hundred shining wahoo cried in unison, “WAHOO!” and accelerated past the start line the instant after Wisko snapped her tail as the signal to move. Goblin's team stayed in their formation until the last second, then blasted out every which way. Streak, a very fast blue shark, got one. All in all, only two or three wahoo were caught.

“Stay together until they're right on us, then break!” yelled Mari.

But Gray's team couldn't hold their formation like Goblin's, and the fish were past them in a fin flick. It would have been nice to know that teams did that before the game, he thought sourly. The wahoo easily avoided them. In fact Gray was pretty sure Wisko herself shouted “Wa-hoo!” into his ear and gave him a slap on the snout as she whizzed by. While the wahoo were amusing earlier when they were having fun with Barkley, now they were super annoying to Gray.

Goblin's team was in stitches, laughing so hard they had to call a time-out.

“Did you see the look on Gray's face?!” yelled Churn.

“Nothing compared to doggie!” agreed Streak, still gnashing her teeth from her meal.

Goblin and Velenka explained the rules more fully between rolls, which referred to the rounds of wahoo swimming through the field. There were ten rolls to a game, and each team got to be up front for five of them. “Ohh, you're taking too long,” Goblin told everyone. “Now you're gonna get it.”

Goblin pointed with his fin as Velenka added, “Tyro had an off day when he created the wahoo.”

The ninety-seven wahoo who made it across the line in the first roll were still slapping fins with each other and hurling insults at the sharkkind. But when Wisko snapped her tail, they swam into a tight formation.

“WHO-ARE-WE?!” she shouted, each word more of an exclamation than a question. The entire formation of wahoo began doing the same slow fin moves: three strokes one way, then a tail clap with the wahoo on their left, then three strokes to the right and a tail clap to the nearest wahoo the other way. They moved together perfectly in this massed victory swim, and
sang
in time to their tail claps!

We are the wahoo, the speedy, speedy wahoo!

WA! HOO!

You are the drifters, the jelly, jelly, drifters!

SO! SLOW!

We are the wahoo, the speedy, speedy wahoo!

WA! HOO!

You are the drifters, the jelly, jelly, drifters!

SO! SLOW!

“What the heck are they doing?” Snork asked.

“Right now? Insulting us,” snorted Striiker.

“Don't let it get to you,” said Mari. “Huddle up!”

Mari tried to explain the strategy for the game, but Gray couldn't hear her at all. It turned out that the gathered dwellers were cheering as loud as they could for the wahoo! The entire bowl-shaped stadium was alive with their energy. A school of glowing lantern fish circled the edge and all the dwellers rose when they went by—even the bottom feeders who couldn't swim raised a claw or tentacle—which made it look like there was an undersea wave rolling around the edge of the field! And lumos of all sorts were blinking together forming pictures in the shape of a wahoo!

Shell nodded. “Yeah, the dwellers always root for the fish.”

Tuna Roll was incredibly fun and exciting! How could anything else compare? After Gray caught his first wahoo, Tuna Roll immediately became his favorite thing ever. First, wahoo were delicious, just as Wisko said they would be. And second, after having been so embarrassed by the fish, it felt absolutely wonderful to catch one! The game ran for four more rolls, with Goblin's team in front. After taking a small break, they switched positions and went five rolls with Gray's team in front. At the end of all ten, whichever team had the highest total score won. And flip, Rogue was getting killed! The score was twenty-one to seven heading into the last roll. Goblin accounted for eight points on his own!

Cheers from the dwellers rose as Gray began what was called the “sound off.” “Ready! Set! ROLL!” he shouted.

The wahoo streaked past their line with a swimming start. Wisko was playing again! She angled the cluster of a hundred wahoo to the right. Gray was at the
diamond head
of the formation—there were so many cool terms in this game—and moved to intercept. Wisko was the fastest of the wahoo and blew by them. But the stragglers, if any fish so fast could be deemed a straggler, were forced to change direction. Striiker ate one wahoo in a single bite. Mari and Gray each struck home as Barkley just missed. Both Goblin and Ripper were successful, though, further increasing their team's score. Gray's team lost but, wow, this game was fun!

“What a beat down!” yelled Streak as Goblin and the rest joined them.

“Ah, they didn't do too bad,” commented Velenka. “Especially with a rookie at diamond head.” The mako brushed her tail against Gray's flank, earning a scowl from Mari.

Wisko led the other wahoo through a song that started out sad but ended with a rousing chorus, commemorating the wahoo who were eaten during the game. They finished by shouting, “On your way to the Sparkle Blue! WA! HOO!” After the song ended, Wisko brought all the remaining wahoo to Goblin. “Time for the losers—that's you—to feed the winners—that's us. See you at Slaggernack's.”

“We'll be there,” Goblin told her.

The rest of the wahoo swam by, bumping fins with sharks who'd done well.

Wisko passed him and said, “Not bad for a pup.”

Barkley hadn't caught a wahoo. Not even close. He wasn't feeling good about himself and began to swim away.

“Hey, dog breath,” yelled Thrash. “Not so fast.”

“What? It's over, right?” asked Barkley.

“Oh, you wish!” Streak told him.

IF THE GAME WAS GREAT, THE CAMARADERIE
after Tuna Roll was even better. Everyone gathered in a series of coral formations and caves called Slaggernacks a short swim off the East side of the homewaters, which was named after a giant crab who had lived years ago. His massive exoskeleton stood there on display as if guarding the place. Everyone who entered slapped a fin on Slaggernack's giant claw for luck before moving between jagged outcroppings of coral that were covered with glowing anemones and dwellers of all types. Even though the place was dark—with just a sliver moon above—and mostly enclosed by rock and greenie, lumos provided a great deal of their own light to brighten the place. There was also a small vent that blew warm water upward toward everyone's belly. Velenka said it was prehistore water from the Dark Blue that was warmed by volcanoes far below the ocean floor. It felt very pleasant.

Thrash explained that Slaggernacks was a free zone, meaning anyone could come, even competing shivers like Razor's, and there was absolutely no fighting allowed. “You mean if Goblin and Razor came in here at the same time, they wouldn't attack each other?” Gray asked.

“Nope. They wouldn't,” the big tiger shark said before gulping down another seasoned halibut. Apparently you could get fish with mosses, planketon, krill, and other
seasonings
—a landshark word—made by the crab
chefs
here at Slaggernacks. That was one of the reasons the place was a gathering spot. Gray nearly threw up when he tried a piece. It was horrible! Whatever the shellheads put on the fish made him feel like something exploded inside his mouth. The flavor was everywhere—and strong! Thrash called it an acquired taste. Maybe it was, if by “acquired” he meant disgusting. The tiger motioned with a fin toward the urchins lying inside of Slaggernack's skeletal remains. “Those urchins are part of Gafin's crew. He owns the place.

“Gafin?”

Thrash shook his head. “I keep forgetting you're from the boonie-greenie.” The tiger chuckled. “Gafin is the king of the urchins. He does business with lionfish, stonefish, scorpion fish, and any other poisonous dweller you've heard about. And a bunch you haven't.”

“
King
of the urchins? Are you yanking my tail, Thrash?”

“No, I'm totally serious,” the Tiger told him. “His territory actually covers most of the North Atlantis, including both Goblin and Razor shiver homewaters.”

“Oh, so that's why Goblin and Razor can't fight here,” Gray said, realizing this.

Thrash nodded. “Exactly. No one wants to be on Gafin's bad side. You can kill one urchin or stonefish. But sometime, somewhere, you
will
get stung.” The tiger took a dainty bite from a seasoned fish and caught Gray chuckling. “You're supposed to
savor
the flavor, not just gulp it down like—oh, forget it. Fine dining is wasted on you.”

Gray pointed a fin at the urchins clinging in and around Slaggernack's skeleton. “So, which one is Gafin?”

“I don't know. Go stick your snout in there if you wanna find out.” Thrash called over a few spiny shrimp to drop the last small bit of his meal in his mouth and ordered another dish—haddock this time. Apparently the tiger would have to catch many fish, four to one, to pay for this meal. It was quite a deal for Gafin, king of the urchins. Before the spiny shrimp swam their way up to his mouth, Thrash told Gray, “By the way that's a joke. Don't stick your nose in Gafin's business. Ever.”

Barkley, Snork, Shell, and Churn returned with fish for the wahoo. The losing team's three lowest point scorers and the low
roller
on the winning team were charged with getting the fish. It was called wahoo work. Gray had heard this term from sharkkind in Goblin Shiver but never knew what it meant until now. Wahoo work was any menial, embarrassing job. Ha!

The wahoo divided up the meal and took positions of honor above the sharks. They then proceeded to critique the two teams' performances in the Tuna Roll from best to worst. This they called rolling abuse. Not all of it was abuse.

“Still the baddest fin in Atlantis! Wa-hoo!” was how Wisko led off Goblin's rave review to the fin-slapping applause of the rest of the wahoo. Ripper, Velenka, and Streak were also praised. Thrash got angry at his so-so grading and needed calming by Goblin, who reminded him it was just a game. Churn received some razzing but took it in stride. The whitetip still scored more points than any of the Rogue team members besides Gray.

Wisko gave Gray a tail slap to the flank to begin his heckling. “Wide load here had the best showing by a rookie I've ever seen in my life! Wa-hoo!”

Gray wasn't sure he liked the “wide load” comment but knew it was said in a spirit of friendship, though Barkley was laughing a little more than necessary.

Another wahoo commented, “You've got yourself a keeper there, Goblin!”

Striiker and Mari were made fun of, but their performances were pretty good. Shell ate a wahoo during the roll, so even though he got an earful, he didn't mind.

“This sawfish bit me and
still
couldn't slow me down!” said another wahoo. “Laaaame!” He proudly showed a small divot taken out of his tail. Snork chuckled, a little embarrassed.

Gray was sure there were more comments to come about Snork, but Barkley interrupted. “Why don't you quit picking on him and shut up?” said the dogfish. Bad move. Everyone's attention turned completely to him.

“Look who suddenly got his big fins!” said Wisko. “Dog breath, the world's
worst
Tuna Roller!”

The rest of the wahoo joined in. “Bark for us, dog breath! That's what doggies do! Bark! Bark!” Soon the entire pack of fish were
barking
—they were making some kind of noise anyhow; Gray wasn't sure if it was actually how a landshark dog sounded or not.

“You're not even a real shark, doggie fish!” yelled another. And those were some of the nicer comments. It got worse when Thrash joined in.

“Maybe we should make him wear one of those, what is it—a
collar
—around his neck like those landshark things!” added the tiger very unhelpfully. “Wisko and the others can trade off on taking him for a swim!”

Goblin and his Line laughed right along with the wahoo. The rest of Rogue struggled not to laugh, except for Mari. She was genuinely upset at the treatment Barkley was receiving and glared at anyone from Rogue who was laughing.

Gray felt ashamed for his friend, but a chuckle escaped his teeth before he could stop it. It was an accident, but Barkley saw. The look in his eyes told Gray that he had totally betrayed him with that snicker. “You're a krill-faced whale!” the dogfish yelled, close to tears.

“Hey, you didn't mind laughing it up when they called me ‘wide load'!” Gray was getting annoyed now. Barkley was always running his mouth about things he could do well at, like school, and making fun of others who weren't good at it. “You can fin it out but you sure can't take it, huh?”

Barkley rushed him. For a moment Gray thought he might take a chunk out of his side, but the dogfish whooshed out of Slaggernack's to the derisive hoots of Goblin Shiver. Led by Wisko, the wahoo sang a mocking song about dogfish. Gray later learned that they had a song about
everything
.

“You all suck algae!” Barkley yelled on his way out as the wahoo began barking a chorus in their song. Wow. Gray wanted to go after Barkley and make things better. He really did. To his mind, though, the dogfish was being thin-skinned again. How could anyone be angry here? This place was so cool!

But Gray decided to follow him, anyway. After all, Barkley was his friend. Gray was about to leave when Goblin came over with Velenka. “Don't worry about your friend,” the pretty mako told Gray. “Streak will teach him a couple of moves, and he'll catch a wahoo next time.”

“Ripper used to be terrible, but now, watch out,” Goblin said.

Gray considered. “I really should check up on him.”

“Give him time to cool off,” the great white told him. “You're just going to make it worse, and besides it'd be rude to leave so soon. Wisko named you rookie of the year!”

“Barkley will be fine,” Velenka reassured him, her eyes hypnotizing him with their sheer blackness.

“Okay,” agreed Gray. “You're right.”

“Or he's not tough enough,” Goblin mused. “And that's not your problem.”

Gray disagreed and shook his snout side-to-side. “I'll help him toughen up.”

Suddenly a peculiar wailing interrupted their conversation, and for a moment everyone stopped. “Oh, the entertainment's starting!” Velenka exclaimed.

An old gray whale and a few dolphins hovered on the edge of the cove. They were singing a strange yet uplifting song. “There's usually music after a Roll,” Velenka explained. “We provide them with the entertainment of watching the game, and they do this for us in return.”

Amazing! This day kept getting better and better. Gray knew he should go see if Barkley was all right. And he would. In another hour or so. It would be rude to leave while the whales and dolphins were singing. He couldn't just take off. After all, he was rookie of the year!

Gray was so absorbed he didn't notice Mari motion to Striiker, Shell, and Snork. The former members of Rogue Shiver quietly slipped away, one by one.