Shatter Me (The Jaded Series, #1) (20 page)

“Bite his dick and I’ll slit your throat, Bailey.” He warns and then forces my head toward it.

I clamp my mouth shut and turn my head away. Tears are dripping from my eyes and landing on the guy’s thighs.

“Open your Goddamn mouth, bitch!” Steven says right before he punches me in the stomach.

The punch forces me to open my mouth to suck in air and Steven takes advantage by angling my head so my mouth engulfs his friend’s dick. The feeling of having this man in my mouth makes me want to vomit.

Steven still has his hand in my hair and he’s forcing more of the man in my mouth. I feel it reach the back of my throat and I immediately start to gag. Steven doesn’t let up though. He grounds my nose into the guy’s pubic hair and my chin is resting against his balls.

Just before I pass out from the lack of oxygen Steven pulls my head back just long enough for me to pull in a little breath.

I make the mistake of relaxing my mouth just a little and my teeth scrape across the man. The man grabs another chunk of my hair and pulls my head back off of him.

“Teeth, bitch!” He says and lands a punch to my jaw. I haven’t even fully recovered from the hit before my mouth is forced back on his dick. The pain in my jaw and being forced to keep my mouth open is almost too much to bear.

I am outright sobbing now. I have huge fat tears rolling down my cheeks and my face is covered in spit from gagging so much and blood from my split lip.

Steven is no longer beside me. He has moved behind me. I feel him lifting the skirt I am wearing and ripping my panties off. After fiddling around, I feel Steven start to enter my backside. Because he didn’t use any lubrication I’m dry, so it’s extremely painful. He must have become impatient because all of a sudden he rams himself inside me. I try to cry out but am unable to because of what’s in my mouth.

Watching Steven rape me from behind must spur the other man on because he grabs two hands full of hair and starts to violently thrust into my mouth, going all the way back to my throat.

The man holds my head all the way down on him and after a few second I hear him moan, right before I feel warmth enter the back of my throat.

A couple seconds later Steven finds his own release and lets out a groan as well.

The man on the couch jerks my head off his softening cock and pushes me to the side, causing me to fall over and dislodging Steven from my body. I land on my hands and immediately start to vomit. I also have slobber and blood dripping onto the floor.

I hear Steven in my ear telling me, “Good girl, My Pet.”

Steven and his friend get up, straighten their clothes, and walk out the door, leaving me hunched over and crying into my own vomit.

I wake up and barely make it to the bathroom before I start throwing up. Once my stomach is empty I flush the toilet, reach up and grab a washcloth off the shelf, wet it, and wipe down my face and mouth. After, I lean back against the toilet and bury my hands in my hair.

God, I hate the dreams. Normally when I wake from them it takes me a minute to realize that it is a dream and I am not currently in the moment.

This one was of the very first times Steven forced me to be his plaything for him and his friend. It was pretty tame compared to most of the other times, especially when he took me to his club. More often than not I came really close to ending things for myself. There were several scenarios I had planned in my head; slitting my wrists, hanging myself, there was even one time that I was driving over a tall bridge with nothing but rocks down below and thought about driving straight off it. I went so far as swerving towards the railing but then chickened out and turned the wheel at the last moment. I just couldn’t bring myself to end my own life, even though I knew deep down that Steven would eventually end it for me.

Feeling disgusted I decide to take a scalding hot shower to try and scrub away the feeling. Instead of my normal breakfast with Jaxon this morning Anna talked him into letting her take his place. He was reluctant to give up his time but after I reminded him that I would see him tonight at work, he finally gave in. I thought it was sweet he didn’t want to miss our daily breakfast date.

Her plans are breakfast first, mani’s and pedi’s next, and then shopping for a couple outfits for herself. I don’t really want to spend any of the money I have saved so far, but it’s been years since I’ve had my nails done so I figure it was about damn time.

Besides, I know Nick is leaving again in a week and Anna is already missing him. She needs a little pick-me-up.

When I walk into the diner an hour later, I spot Anna sitting at the counter talking to Nitra, who is behind the counter pouring coffee. I glance to my left as I make my way over to her and spot both Jaxon and Nick sitting at a booth shoveling food into their mouth. Jaxon notices me and his lips quirk up a bit before he gives me a wink.

When I make it to the counter, I take a seat beside Anna and point over my shoulder with my thumb, “What’s up with that?”

“Nick’s pouting because I’m going shopping with you and not spending the day with him. I explained to him that I needed a girl’s day so he decided to come anyway to the diner for breakfast. He forced an all-too-willing Jaxon to come along with him.”

I glance over my shoulder towards the guys. I almost let out a laugh at the sad puppy dog look on Nick’s rugged and handsome face.

“That boy has it bad,” Nitra says unnecessarily. Anyone that sees the two together knows that they both have it bad. I’ve never met a couple more into each other.

“Maybe I’ll buy a cute little nightie today to make up for my ‘neglect’.” She air quotes the word ‘neglect’.

Nitra and I both laugh at that.

Her voice is low when she speaks again. “I’ve been talking to Gram about her hiring a part-time person so I can go on some of his business trips. I don’t know how much more I can take of him being gone so much. I know that sounds ridiculous and couples do it all the time but it literally hurts my heart to have to say goodbye to him all the time. He doesn’t know yet.”

I reach over and squeeze her hand. “Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry.”

“I can only imagine how hard it must be for you. You two have such a rare and special kind of love. If I’m ever lucky enough to find that I’m chaining the guy to my bed if he even thinks about leaving.” Nitra tells her.

I let out a laugh because I can totally see Nitra doing just that. I don’t know her as well as Anna, but she has a strong personality that screams no bullshit. If she wants something, she goes after it.

I smell his refreshing scent behind me before I actually feel Jaxon walk up. He wraps his arms around my middle from behind and he has his face in my hair. I hear him take in the scent of my hair. The last couple of days I’ve taken to wearing it up. Other than a few curious glances at my scar no one has outright asked me about it. It’s a huge relief. I have a lot of hair and it’s nice to be able to pull it back when I want to.

“What are you doing here?” I ask in a breathless voice. Having him surround me like he is leaves me with little oxygen. The man is dangerous for my health. Luckily it’s a good kind of dangerous.

“Nick asked me to tag along with him. Said Anna wants a girl’s day but he wanted to see her before you both left. Even if he didn’t have breakfast with her at least he would be able to see her. Sounds pathetic but I have to admit I jumped at the opportunity to see you too. I hate giving up my morning ritual with you.”

“I think she might have something planned to make it up to him.” With a twinkle in my eye I turn my head to talk to him so she won’t hear.

Jaxon groans in my ear. “Stop. I don’t need that shit in my head. It’s already bad enough thinking about my little sister in any type of relationship. I don’t need a visual as well.”

I giggle a little and glance over at Anna. She’s turned her stool to face Nick and they are talking quietly. Nick dips his head and gives Anna a soft kiss. I turn my head back towards Jaxon.

“She’s a grown woman, Jaxon. And she seems like she’s in good hands.” I remind him quietly.

“I know, but she’ll always be my little kid sister. And I’ll always want to protect her.” He mutters back.

I smile at him. He’s such a good guy. He’s tough when he needs to be, but he’s highly protective of the ones he cares about. Why can’t all men be like that?

“Hey Jax, you ready to go?” Nick asks Jaxon.

“Yeah, give me a sec,” Jaxon tells him and then steps around the side of me. He tangles his fingers in my hair and to bring my head back. His lips land softly on mine and he gives me a lingering kiss. After several seconds, he pulls back.

“Have fun today, Angel. Let me know when you get back.”

“Okay,” I whisper.

He gives me one more peck on the lips before he and Nick stroll out of the diner.

Just as soon as the men leave another set of men approach us. Jack and Jake. This should be interesting. Of course, the very first thing Jack zones in on is my hair.

“Ah ha! I see you finally worked up the courage to show off that beautiful face of yours, girl.” The grizzly old man says.

“Ole Lordy,” Jake says and rolls his eyes to the ceiling. “Don’t start that mess again, Jack.”

“You shut your trap, Jake. I’m talking to the lady, not you.” Turning to me he says, “Now, where were we? Oh, that’s right. I was about to ask you how you got that scar there on your face?”

I choke on my coffee and spew some across the counter at his question.

“Jack!” Anna and Nitra yell at the same time.

Picking up a napkin, I start cleaning my mess. Out the corner of my eye, I see Jake take Jack by his upper arm and drag him across the diner. Turning his head back to me as he walks he says, “Jack apologizes, Bailey. Y’all enjoy your breakfast.” With his head facing forward again, I hear him say, “My God, Jack. You really don’t have a filter, do you? You can’t blurt something like that out you dummy.”

Barely audible but I still hear Jack respond, “What did I say?”

Anna, Nitra, and I look at each other and burst out laughing. Those two old men really are nut jobs. After Anna and I order our breakfast and Nitra sticks around for a few more minutes to chat before she goes and serves other people. After we’re done we pay our bill, gather our purses, and head out.

––––––––

“S
o, how are things between you and Jaxon?” Anna asks me while browsing the bra and panties section in the cute little lingerie shop we’re in.

“Things are good.” I pick up a black body suit that reveals way more than it shows. The sides are virtually nonexistent. The only thing connecting the top and the bottom is a scrap of silk material that runs from the bust down to the thong. The scrap of material gets a little bigger the closer it gets to the bottom. I turn the body suit around and there’s nothing there except the thong and a string that wraps around your neck.

I shake my head because there’s no way I would be caught dead in something like that. I don’t see how anyone could wear something so uncomfortable looking.

“What about this one?” Anna holds up a black lace nightie that has tiny Rhine Stones all over it. On the bust between the cups is a pink bow. The panties that are attached to it also has Rhine Stones. It’s actually really cute. Not something that I would be brave enough to wear but, then again, I wouldn’t wear anything revealing.

“I really like that one. You should get it. Nick will definitely thank you for it.”

She eyes the slip of material for another minute and then settles it over her arm. “Hmm...maybe.”

“Do you know how long Nick is supposed to be gone this time?” I pick up another number and immediately put it back down, blushing as I do so.

“A week, maybe two.” I see a frown line appear on her brow. It must be terrible to watch the one you love leave time after time. I’ll have to make sure she has plenty to do while he’s gone. Anything to distract her.

“So, I noticed that you and my brother are spending more and more time together. Y’all seem to be getting close.” I know that she’s trying to change the subject. I let it go because I don’t want to dampen our outing with sad thoughts.

“We are actually, but I don’t know if I can let him get too close. I’ve got too much baggage and I don’t want to drag him down.” Even though it’s getting easier to talk about things I still never reveal too much.

She looks at me with sympathy in her eyes. “It’s okay to let him in, Bailey. I may not know the details, but I know you’ve had a rough life. Let him, and us, try and help you. Believe it or not Jaxon’s life hasn’t been a walk in the park either.”

I frown. It’s getting harder and harder to resist telling Jaxon about my problems, to let him help me. Right as I decide to tell him I remind myself that there’s nothing he can do and all that’ll happen is him getting hurt.

“You don’t understand, Anna. There’s nothing that he can do. There’s nothing that anyone can do. He’ll only end up getting hurt.”

“Has Jaxon told you about Kaylee yet?” She asks me.

I’ve learned a lot about Jaxon over the last several weeks, but I don’t ever remember him mentioning a person named Kaylee.