Shattered Soul (16 page)

Calvin's lips twisted into a smirk. “Oh I get it, you
pissed your little girlfriend asked me for something? Or is it
because you know she’ll be back?”

I snapped. “You stay the hell away from her!” I put
my hands on him and shoved as hard as I could.

Calvin hardly moved.

Anger flared deep within his eyes, fear uncoiled in
my gut and spread through me quickly. I’d gone too far. This would
be it, this would be the time Calvin would probably beat me within
an inch of my life.

His fist came flying at my face so fast I didn’t have
time to brace myself for it. It was a powerful punch, one that
rocked me backwards, sending the backs of my knees banging into the
coffee table hard, knocking me on top of it.

Calvin gave me no time to recover. He was on me,
squishing me between the coffee table and his weight, throwing
punch after punch to the side of my face. The metallic taste of
blood exploded in my mouth as I felt my head bounce off the table
after each blow, only to come up and meet his fist again. I threw
my arms up just as the table beneath me buckled.

“Enough!” Brent yelled, and I saw glimpses of him
grappling with Calvin.

I could hear Jade and Kerri screaming. I could hear
Calvin struggling to break free because he wasn’t finished with me
yet, and I could hear Brent huffing and puffing, struggling to
contain him.

I choked on my own blood, coughed and cracked a
smile. I don’t know why, but in that moment, all I could think
about was how pissed mom was going to be with Calvin when she saw
he’d broken her table.

Dark spots blotted out my vision and the noises
surrounding me became distorted. I took in a shuddering breath,
just as my eyes clouded over completely and I fell into
darkness.

When I came to, I was lying in my own bed. I rolled
over and winced from pain as I struggled through blurry eyes to see
the time. It was 12:45 A.M. I fell back against my pillow. The side
of my face throbbed and the coppery aftertaste of blood filled my
mouth.

I laid across my pillow and thought of Ali and how
she’d looked when I’d left her. Her tear-stained cheeks, dark
circles, and her black, lifeless eyes. I thought of Calvin and how
pissed I still was at him for giving her some behind my back.

My anger continued to rise up, lapping away at my
insides like a rising tide, until I remembered the moment of
unbelieving shock that had crossed Calvin’s face once I’d told him
he was my problem. I chuckled for a long time while I burned that
image into my mind forever.

Once I pulled myself from bed, I got dressed and
headed to the place I always went to after I’d gotten my ass beat
by Calvin. I went to Trip’s house.

It was cool and dark outside and I felt like I
blended in with the shadows, hidden from anyone’s eyes, so I walked
slowly.

When I made it to Trip's place, it was close to 2:30
in the morning. I knew he wouldn’t be awake, so I walked around to
his bedroom window. It was already open, the only stroke of good
luck I’d had in a while; all I had to do was pop the screen out and
hoist myself up.

I landed inside with a soft thud, barely loud enough
to stir Trip in his sleep. I stepped to his bedside and gently
shook him until he woke.

“Hey, man, it’s me. I’m gonna’ crash here tonight,” I
whispered.

“Seth?” he asked in a groggy tone. He reached for the
lamp on his nightstand and flicked it on.

“Yeah,” I answered, as the dim glow from the lamp lit
the room around us.

“What time is it?” he wondered, rubbing the sleep
from his eyes.

“Around 2:30.”

“2:30? What the hell, man?” he asked, annoyed, until
he saw my face. “Oh shit, again?” Trip sat up in bed, concern for
me crossing his face. “What for this time?”

“Because I got in his face,” I admitted.

A smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “You did
what?” he asked, sounding wide awake now.

I sat on the edge of his bed. “First I got in his
face…then, I shoved him.”

“Oh, man! What on earth possessed you to do that?” he
probed, excitement flashing in his eyes. “I mean, this is Calvin
we’re talking about! No offense, dude, but he made the side of your
face look lumpier than my mom’s mashed potatoes and this isn’t the
first time! Are you crazy? What could have been worth that?”

I tilted my head back and stared up at the white
popcorn ceiling. “Ali,” I answered simply.

“Ali? What happened?”

I closed my eyes. “I messed up, I messed up big
time.”

“Dude, what happened?”

“I let her try it with me,” I said, my eyes still
closed.

“Try what?” he asked. From the tone of his voice he
knew exactly what I was talking about, but asked anyway.

I opened my eyes and shifted my gaze to his.
“Meth.”

Trip’s face grew serious. “No. Seth, no! I thought
you were done with that shit!” he frowned.

“I am now. I can promise you that,” I assured
him.

“And what about Ali?”

“I think I got her hooked, man.” My voice shook as I
spoke. “All it took for her was one time, man, one taste and she
was hooked.”

“It’s not your fault, don’t beat yourself up. You
didn’t actually force her to do it, she chose to,” Trip reminded
me, trying hard to comfort me despite the betrayal that echoed in
his words and burned in his eyes.

“Maybe, but I was the one who let her try it the
first time and then a second and third.” I ran my fingers through
my hair, fighting back tears. “Dude, what the hell have I
done?”

“Nothing, you haven’t done anything,” Trip said.

“Then why do I feel like I have?” I asked, unable to
look at him. He didn’t answer, so I continued on. “Last week she
started asking me if Calvin had any. Do you remember before the
fireworks the other night, how she’d said we needed to make a pit
stop at my house?”

“Yeah, so she could pee.”

“Yeah, well, she did, but she also did a line with
Calvin and the others even after I’d turned it down. She just
straight up told me she was going to do one and then we could go!”
Remembered anger trickled through my veins.

Trip sighed. “Unbelievable.”

My eyes dropped to the floor. “Trust me, I know. I
was so pissed at Calvin, at her, I went to the car.”

“So, that’s why there was so much tension between you
two!” Trip said, putting two and two together.

“Yeah,” I scoffed. “Calvin ended up slipping her some
for herself after I stormed out. But, Ali didn’t tell me that. I
found out today, when I walked to her house to apologize for how
I’d acted and saw that she was still tweaking.”

“Geez, dude. What did you say to her?”

“I told her she needed to get some sleep and I took
what little bit she had left with me. Then I went home and threw it
in Calvin’s face before I shoved him,” I laughed.

“Damn, wish I could have seen that!”

“It was priceless! But then again, not really, it
cost me this.” I gestured to my face.

“Ouch, yeah, this one’s gonna look real ugly over the
next few days,” he grimaced.

I brushed the tips of my fingers over the side of my
face lightly, just doing that sent needles of pain shooting through
it. “Yeah,” I agreed. “You mind if I hide out here for a few days…I
don’t wanna go home, man.”

“Sure, no problem,” Trip nodded and walked to his
closet. He got out the extra comforter and pillow from his top
shelf, the ones that he kept there specifically for me and moments
like this. “Here you go.”

I took them from him and made a make-shift bed for
myself on the floor.

It was hours after Trip turned the lamp off before I
fell asleep. When I finally did, it was like my entire body shut
down and a dead sleep overtook me.

I spent the next five days at Trip’s, completely
unnoticed by his parents. I found it kind of sad really, his
parents were so busy they hardly noticed their own son and seemed
completely oblivious to the fact he was harboring a stowaway friend
in his bedroom.

When I finally decided to go home, before overstaying
my welcome in Trip’s room or his parents noticed I was there,
nearly six days had passed without me seeing Ali. Which made a
total of five whole days and one half day gone by without any new,
happy memories to replace the strung-out, tear-stained memories of
her that had haunted my mind since the last time I’d seen her.

Every thought I had circled back to her, and I became
positive I was slowly losing my mind because the feelings I’d felt
for her had grown stronger in her absence and I didn’t see how that
was even possible.

It was Tuesday evening and I was getting dropped back
off at my house by Joe. I’d just sold him an ounce of some pretty
decent stuff and had him swing me by Taco Bell for a drive-through
dinner. I was gone for an hour, tops, and when Joe pulled into my
driveway again, Ali’s car sat parked behind Kerri’s Kia.

My stomach twisted into knots. The sound of my own
blood rushing through my ears was all I heard as images from the
last time I’d seen her flashed through my mind. My brain froze on
the final image, Ali slumped onto her knees in front of me and
begging for me not to take her last shard of meth. My chest
tightened while I wondered how long she’d been at my house with
Calvin.

“Thanks for the ride, man,” I absently thanked
Joe.

“Not a problem. I’ll get up with you again in about a
week or so.”

“You know where I’m at,” I muttered, stepping out and
closing the door behind me.

I started towards the front door, my pulse quickening
with every step. I opened the door and froze, hoping my eyes were
lying to me because I didn’t want to believe the sight in front of
me.

Ali was sitting on the couch beside Calvin laughing,
obviously enjoying herself, until I came into the room.

“Seth, hey…umm…” Her eyes shifted between Calvin and
me as she took notice of the yellowed fading bruises on my
face.

Anger stabbed through me. I glanced around, my eyes
meeting Brent’s, Kerri’s, and Calvin’s, but not hers. What the hell
was she doing here? Why the hell was she sitting beside Calvin,
laughing?

I nodded. “What’s up?” I struggled to remain calm. I
struggled to seem unaffected by the fact I’d come home to find her
enjoying my piece-of-shit for a brother’s company.

“Nothing. I just stopped by to talk to you,” Ali
said. She stood and walked towards me.

My eyes trailed over every inch of her as she
sauntered forward. I took in her cut off shorts, her blue tank top,
her long blonde hair that seemed to shimmer past her shoulders
again. I noticed how her eyes were clear blue once more and her
skin had color again.

In the time it took for her to cross the room and
stop in front of me, my sudden onset of anger had evaporated.

“So…can we talk?” she asked, shoving her hands into
her back pockets, concern flashing across her face.

I licked my lips. “Yeah.”

Ali followed me to my room. I closed the door behind
us and turned to face her. An awkward silence surrounded us while
we stood staring at one another.

“What happened? Did Calvin do this?” she asked,
shattering the silence between us. Ali stepped forward, her eyes
wide, her fingers extended toward my face.

On impulse I swatted her hand away before she could
touch me. “Yeah, yeah he did,” I answered flatly, and she looked
like I'd slapped her.

“Why?” she wondered.

The way the word slipped from her lips, it was like
she didn’t believe Calvin would ever do such a thing, even though
she knew he would; after all, it wasn’t the first time she’d seen
my face pulverized by him. I stared at her, sickened that she was
falling for the good guy routine Calvin had been trying to pull
with her since he’d first laid eyes on her. Heat prickled across my
skin as anger burned its way through my insides.

“Because of you, Ali! Because of what he gave you,
you know, your precious little baggie you didn’t tell me about!” I
spat the words out at her, hating how angry I sounded, but unable
to hide how pissed with her I was.

Ali's lips drew into a thin line. “Don’t you dare say
this was my fault!” She gestured to my face. “And, I didn’t tell
you, because you said you didn’t want any, Seth.”

“So, that makes it ok to hide it from me?” I
countered.

She sighed deeply. “I didn’t come here to fight with
you and I really don’t see why you’re so mad at me.”

“Because, this isn’t you!” I exclaimed.

“Isn’t me? What are you talking about?”

“
This!
” I gestured to her. “It’s not you!” I
paused and took in a deep breath. “You’re letting it get the best
of you. I don’t think you should do it anymore, Ali, I don’t think
either of us should.” I stopped talking. I wanted to continue, I
wanted to tell her how worried I was about her and that I loved
her, but the look on her face forced me to stop.

Ali was glaring at me like if she could shoot daggers
from her eyes, I’d be dead by now.

“
This
,” she gestured to herself the way I had,
“is me.”

I shook my head. “No, it’s not. You’ve changed,
Ali.”

“I’ve changed…right,” she scoffed, stomping past me
and towards the door. “You know what, Seth? I already have a dad
and I damn sure don’t need another one!” She slung the door open so
hard, it banged against my wall and bounced halfway closed
again.

I closed my eyes, listening to her heavy footsteps
stomp down the hallway and cursed myself for the way that
conversation had gone. I took in a deep breath and started after
her.

I didn’t have to go far, because Ali hadn’t left my
house. She’d taken her seat back beside Calvin on the couch. I
glanced around the room, noticing for the first time Jade wasn’t
there. For a split second, I was ticked at her for not being here,
because her absence had left that spot beside Calvin available for
Ali.