She Had No Choice (22 page)

Holding her modest display of white roses and carnations with both hands, she nervously waited for her cue. The organist began to play the wedding march, and the minister gave the hand signal for everyone to rise. The guests instinctively turned to watch the bride entering. Alex was seated on the aisle, but Eva didn’t notice. Her eyes were focused on her groom. She stepped into the sanctuary and slowly proceeded to the front. A big smile spread across Richard’s face when he saw Eva, and it made her whole body tingle.

Sofía and Naomi had a front-row view of the nuptials, and they generously shared a box of tissue. Their girl was getting married.

The minister began his discourse, and Richard and Eva exchanged their vows. Margaret’s stomach was churning as she stood next to Eva, and she began to sweat. She knew what was coming.

“
If anyone knows any reason why these two should not be joined together, speak now or forever hold your peace,” the minister recited.

Margaret chose to say nothing. She hoped she was doing the right thing.

Chapter 18:
Hope for Sofía

The year was 1957. Eva had been gone from her family for years, traveling from army base to army base, following Richard as the military moved him around the country. Her return to her hometown in California was bittersweet. She was returning to her family, but she was also coming back to a place that held painful memories.

Eva wasn’t sure how she would feel coming home to Hollister because so many things in her life had changed. She was a different person than the naïve young bride who left. Now she was married, living the lonely life of a military wife, with children of her own. She was raising her children mostly by herself – a son and a daughter. This was not the life she had dreamed of as a teenager, but this was the life she had, and she was determined to make it work.

The first person she wanted to see was her mother, Sofía. But she was afraid of running into her stepfather. Visiting her mother would be tricky. If she timed it just right, hopefully Carlos would be out working, and she would have some time alone with Mama.

As soon as Eva arrived in town, she checked her family into a small motel on the edge of Hollister. The faded blue paint was peeling and weeds were growing up through the old, cracked asphalt in the parking lot. A sign blinked “VACANT” with an irregular beat. The motel was in desperate need of repairs, but the price was right.

Early that afternoon, she drove out to the farm worker shanties in her old green Ford station wagon with the children in the back seat. Rory was four years old and Angie was three. Eva told them that they were going to meet their Grandma Sofía and that she wanted them to be on their best behavior.

As the car approached the rickety old house, Eva felt the familiarity of it. She saw the same cluster of rundown shacks in which she had spent so many difficult years. The sight of them brought back a flood of painful memories. Her back stiffened and her stomach tensed. There were a handful of pleasant memories in this place, with her mama and her siblings, but they were few and far between.

Eva pulled the car up in front of the familiar front porch and helped the children out. She hadn’t seen her mother in more than six years, and this would be the first time Sofía would see her grandchildren. Eva thought this would be a wonderful surprise for her poor mother.

She couldn’t call Sofía to tell her she was coming because her mother didn’t have a phone. Eva feared that if she sent her mama a letter, Carlos would find it. And if he knew Eva had contacted her mother, he might take his hatred of Eva out on Sofía yet again.

Eva had received a couple of letters over the years from one of her brothers. Her oldest brother, Eduardo, had gotten married a couple of years ago and asked Miss Walker for his sister’s address. He figured Eva would keep in touch with Miss Walker, and he was right. He wanted to let her know he was getting married and how the family was doing.

In his letters, Eduardo told Eva that Carlos’s drinking and his violent abuse against their mother had not diminished, maybe even grown worse. Reading this made Eva distraught. There was nothing she could do to help her mother because she was so far away. She hoped this trip would change that.

With her children in tow, Eva nervously rapped on the door a few times. The door slowly opened and Sofía peered around it. Suspicion gave way to delight, and she opened the door wider. A broad smile spread across her face, and she threw her arms around her daughter. She hugged her hard and didn’t want to let go. Finally, she released her embrace and took a small step back.

Eva was astonished at how much her mother had aged, appearing as worn out as her tattered and faded house dress. She had not expected to see the wrinkles and graying hair. Trying not to let her mother see her surprise, Eva put a smile on her face and kept her voice cheerful.

Sofía was happy to see the two little children hiding behind their mother’s full skirt, shyly peeking around it.

“
Are these my grandchildren?” Sofía asked excitedly, as they would be her first.

“
Yes, Mama, this is Rory,” pulling him out from behind her, “and this is Angelina,” pulling her out from the other side of her skirt. “We call her Angie for short.”

Sofía scooped her granddaughter up in her arms and kissed her gently on the cheek. With her other hand, she affectionately stroked Rory’s soft brown hair.

“
Qué bonita!” she exclaimed. She was surprised by Angie’s fair skin, dark blonde hair and blue-green eyes. Then she remembered that Eva’s husband was white. Not that that fact was something she should forget, but she had not seen Eva in years, and time and her traumatic life had faded her memory of the wedding.

“
Oh, come in, come in,” she said to Eva, leading her grandson by the hand while still holding her granddaughter in her arm. Eva noticed the large dark bruise on the side of her mother’s face near her eye, but she didn’t want to say anything about it. Obviously, nothing had changed.

They all stepped into the weathered shack, and another wave of memories rushed at Eva. It had been nine years since she had set foot in this place, but all of a sudden the emotions came flooding back like it was yesterday. She half expected to see Carlos walk into the room, but caught herself. A shiver ran up her spine and she tried to shake off the feeling.

Nothing had really changed. Not the worn-out furniture or the smell of Mama’s beans and tortillas. The oppressive atmosphere of poverty and despair still weighed heavily in this place. Not even the pungent stench of fear had diminished one bit.

Grandma Sofía offered the children something to eat, but Eva had brought some of their favorite crackers and toys to keep them occupied. The children were busy on the bare wood floor getting their toys out of the beige canvas bag Eva had brought and sharing the crackers.

Eva tried to keep her mind focused on reconnecting with her mother, hoping she could give her mama some time to get to know her grandchildren. She did her best to keep the conversation cheerful and light about Richard and the children, but Mama looked worried. She noticed her mother kept watching the little plastic clock on the wall. Eva tried to ignore the distraction and continued with her story.

She filled her mother in on what her life had been like since she married Richard. They initially moved to Fort Lewis in Tacoma, Washington, where Rory was born.

“
Then we moved to LaCrosse, Wisconsin, after Angie was born,” Eva went on to say. “That’s where Richard’s relatives are.”

Because Eva didn’t want to burden Mama with the sordid details, she left out the parts about Richard going ahead of her to LaCrosse to try to find work. His enlistment in the army was up shortly after Rory was born, and she had unexpectedly gotten pregnant again right away. Richard moved the family to Salt Lake City, Utah, to go to a special trade school, but that didn’t work out for him. So he figured he could find work where his family lived in Wisconsin.

He told Eva he was going to be staying with his Aunt Gertie and left her address and phone number. He promised Eva he would be back for the baby’s birth. Then they could all move to Wisconsin with him. But he was never at his aunt’s house when Eva called him. She left messages with the aunt, but not one time did he ever call her back. She sent him a letter, still no response.

Eva waited in Salt Lake City. She was almost out of money, and the baby was due any day. She had made friends with a neighbor lady, a nice woman in her forties named Lucy who stayed home all day. Her husband, Jim, had a decent job and didn’t want her to work. Lucy and Jim couldn’t have children, and they loved playing with Rory. She offered to watch the little boy when the time came for her to go to the hospital.

When Eva’s contractions began one afternoon, she took Rory to Lucy’s apartment and called for a cab from there. With no insurance or money to pay for the delivery, Eva had already decided to throw herself on the mercy of the Mormon Hospital a few blocks away. She knew they wouldn’t turn her away, and she was right.

They checked her in, took her in a wheelchair to a room and got her situated in bed. The room was sterile and quiet. She shared the room with two other mothers who recently gave birth who were asleep from exhaustion. An older nurse with graying hair came in and out, checking on Eva’s progress. For a fleeting moment, watching the nurse, Eva wondered what her life might have been like if she had pursued a nursing career instead of marrying Richard.

When her contractions increased dramatically, she was wheeled on a gurney to the delivery room. Even with nurses and doctor buzzing around her, she felt lonely and abandoned. She wanted her husband to be there, but he wasn’t. Even though she called often and left messages for him, Richard did not come. She gave birth to her daughter all alone.

A few days later, Eva and her baby girl checked out of the hospital and went home. Lucy enjoyed her time with little Rory and offered to keep him for a few more days to help out. She knew Eva would have a difficult time with a newborn and an eleven-month-old baby, and Lucy loved playing mom. Eva gratefully accepted her offer, but she went to check on her son every afternoon.

Day after day, Eva waited for word from Richard, a returned phone call or a letter. But she didn’t hear anything from him. It had been weeks since she left messages informing him that he now had a daughter.

Having no idea where her husband was, Eva was getting more concerned by the day. She was stuck in Salt Lake City with two babies and her money was running out. By this time, Angie was four weeks old and Rory was twelve months. Richard missed his son’s first birthday and his daughter’s birth. Eva was angry and desperate. She marched down to the Red Cross office in town and asked them for money to buy a bus ticket to go to LaCrosse and find him.

With both infants, Eva took the Greyhound Bus and reached LaCrosse after several long days on the road. Fortunately, there were kind strangers along the way that were willing to help her with feedings and diaper changes. Some of the passengers offered to rock one of the babies while Eva tended to the other. When they arrived in LaCrosse, it was a warm summer evening in June. The year was 1954.

The bus was traveling on the road that passed in front of Richard’s aunt’s small farm. The driver pulled over and stopped to let them out near the little brick single-story house. He retrieved Eva’s suitcase from the storage area of the bus and set it off the road for her. She walked with her children up the dirt driveway to the front door, which set about twenty yards off the road. Eva knocked and waited.  She hoped Richard was home.

His aunt answered the door and was surprised to see Eva and the babies. Unfortunately, Richard wasn’t there, and his aunt didn’t know when he’d be back.

Aunt Gertie was a pleasantly plump German woman in her early fifties and seemed embarrassed by Richard’s actions. Color rose in her cheeks, and she apologized profusely. She had taken countless phone messages that Richard obviously had not returned. Now here they were, face to face, and there was nothing helpful she could tell his wife.

“
He just said he was going out, wherever that is. He didn’t say when he’d be back, never does,” Gertie said. “But you come on in, now.”

Standing on the porch, Eva had her newborn daughter in one arm and little Rory by the hand. He was already walking. They squeezed through the doorway, past Gertie, who was holding the screen door open for them.

“
Just look at those sweet babies,” she commented as they went by her. “I’ll go get your suitcase, dear. Okay? Okay.”

Gertie brought the suitcase in and put it down in Richard’s room. It was past supper time and she figured Eva must be hungry. She waddled into the kitchen and made a big plate of meats and cheeses, along with flaky crackers on the side.

She came back into the living room and set the platter down on the coffee table. “I’m sure you must be famished, honey.”

“
I am kind of hungry,” Eva replied.

“
You go ahead and dig in, okay? Okay.” Aunt Gertie took the sleeping baby from Eva’s arms so she was free to eat. Rory was fast asleep on the sofa next to her.

They made polite conversation and waited and waited for Richard.  It had been almost four hours. Darn that Richard, Gertie thought to herself. The situation grew more awkward with each passing minute, but Gertie did her best to make them all comfortable. She tried to keep up the conversation and provide them with food and drink.