She Had No Choice (9 page)

“
Yes, very wrong, so very wrong. I don’t even know where to start. I’m so ashamed, Olivia.” The words poured out as she shook her head.

“
Calm down, Sofía. Just start at the beginning.”
             

Sofía shared with her cousin what had been going on the past few months with Enrique and how she now found herself expecting Enrique’s baby. Olivia was stunned. This was not the young woman she thought she knew. A pregnant, unmarried woman brought considerable shame on her family, especially a family with money and standing in the community. But, she loved her cousin and was filled with pity for her. Olivia resolved to try to help Sofía as best she could.

“
Let’s move your things into Mama’s room,” Olivia offered. “Then, when the baby comes you’ll have plenty of room for a crib. You can stay with me until the baby is born. After that, we’ll see what can be arranged.”

Olivia truly loved her cousin like a sister, and she felt sorry for Sofía’s plight. But she couldn’t help Sofía for the long term. Olivia had been dating Alejandro for more than a year, and they were engaged to be married soon. Alejandro always liked Sofía, but he wanted Olivia to come and live with him in the home he built for them. Consuela’s house would be passed down to Olivia’s brother, Roberto, so he could marry and raise his family there. When Olivia married, Sofía would be forced to find another home for her baby and herself.

For the next few months, Sofía worked at the restaurant and saved up as much money as she could. She worried every day about where she and her baby would go. “What will become of us?” she wondered.

One afternoon, Sofía arrived at the restaurant to start work and found there was a new waitress the owner had just hired. Her name was Rosa Gonzalez. She was about Sofía’s age and also unmarried. She and Sofía became fast friends and spent their free time most days sharing stories of their lives and their hopes for the future.

A few days later, before the dinner crowd began arriving, Sofía and Rosa were cleaning off all the tables and chairs before the rush. They were chatting about their lives and Sofía opened up about her relationship with Enrique. She told Rosa how she met him, how she fell in love with him, and that she now found herself pregnant and alone. She didn’t want to burden Rosa, but it felt good to have a friend she could pour her heart out to.

“
Enrique was so handsome, Rosa. He flirted with me every time he came to the restaurant. I was flattered. No man had ever given me such compliments, and then he asked me to go out with him. At first I said no because he made me nervous.”

“
Why would you be nervous?”

“
I never went on a date before. What if he didn’t like me after we went out?”

“
That’s silly,” Rosa said as she continued wiping down another table.

“
I figured he could have any girl he wanted, why would he want me? But he kept asking and asking, so I finally gave in and said yes.” Sofía wiped down another chair.

“
Sit down, Sofía, I’ll finish the rest of the tables. You need to rest your feet before people start coming in for supper.”

“
All right.” She pulled out a clean chair and sat down.

“
Tell me more about Enrique.”

“
We dated for a few weeks, and we had fun together. We were falling in love, or least that’s what I thought.”

“
Guys like that don’t fall in love, mi amiga. They make you think they love you, but really, they only want one thing. Telling a girl they love her is just a trick to get them into bed. When it isn’t fun anymore, they move on to another girl. I know, I’ve had my share of that kind of man.”

“
But he told me he loved me.”

“
I’m sure he tells all the girls he loves them. That’s how he gets them to do what he wants.”

“
I was so sure he was the one, you know, the one I would spend the rest of my life with. Like Olivia and Alejandro – soul mates. But when I told him I was pregnant and he was the father, he denied it and walked out on me.”

“
He’s just a pendejo. You’re better off without him, Sofía.”

“
You’re probably right, but look where I am now – pregnant and alone.” She lightly rubbed her protruding belly and a few tears trickled down her cheek. “And he’s off to the next girl, probably that girl he brought to the restaurant the last time I saw him.”

“
What are you going to do when the baby comes?”

“
I don’t know. I worry about it every day. Olivia is getting married in a few months, so I’m quickly running out of time.”

Rosa noticed an older couple coming into the restaurant for dinner, so she handed her damp cloth to Sofía and hurried over to greet them.

“
Hello, Señor, Señora,” as she nodded to each of them. “Would you like a table for two?”

Sofía got up from the chair and headed to the kitchen to dispose of the cleaning cloth. She was grateful that Rosa was willing to listen to her, but she had no more idea what she was going to do than she did before their chat.

She only had a few more months before the baby would arrive and then a month or two before Olivia’s wedding. Sofía could not go on working much longer. Her situation weighed heavily on her mind every day.

The week before Sofía quit her job at the restaurant, she met Rosa’s brother, Carlos, and some of his friends. They had come by the restaurant one afternoon, just making a quick stop to say hello to Rosa and hoping to get some free food. Figuring the lunch crowd would have thinned out, they thought maybe Rosa would be able to give them some beans and rice with tortillas that might be left over from lunch.

“
Sofía, Sofía! Come over here,” Rosa called out to Sofía, who had just come out of the kitchen. “I want you to meet my brother, Carlos Gonzalez.”

Sofía padded across the room and said hello. Carlos was polite and returned the greeting.

“
Carlos and his friends are on their way to Florida to pick oranges. He’s always traveling to one place or another. I’m just happy to have a chance to see my big brother whenever he can stop by.”

Sofía thought Carlos seemed nice, even ruggedly handsome. He was not much of a conversationalist, but nice enough. However, in her present condition, she was in no position to think about him any more than that. She thought his work sounded interesting, maybe even a little exciting. He traveled all over the country and saw different places, having the freedom to just pick up and go to some new place.

Hearing him talk about his farm work made her remember back to when she was much younger, when her family first came to the United States. She recalled the time that her family was working as migrant farm laborers and even the children worked in the fields. She remembered they moved a few times from place to place, but when Mama died Papa sent her here to the Phoenix area. That was almost ten years ago. The memories of how hard it really was, moving around to work the fields and orchards, had faded considerably. Now, the nomadic life almost sounded a little romantic.

She and Rosa saw Carlos and his friends off the next morning from Rosa’s little house, where she rented a room. They left in an old pickup truck for Florida, and Sofía did not think of them again. She had more important things on her mind. The baby inside her continued to grow and time to give birth was upon her. It was 1932. Olivia had arranged for a midwife to help with the birth at her home. Sofía’s labor was short, her baby was anxious to come into the world. The contractions became increasingly close together and their intensity grew as her labor progressed quickly.  She screamed out in pain as she gave the final push.

Before long she was holding her new baby in her arms. It was a girl, a sweet pink baby girl with a few wisps of dark hair on her head. A flood of emotions washed over her in waves – first love, then fear, then excitement, then protectiveness, and more love.

Sofía liked that new baby smell. Holding the baby close to her, she breathed in her sweetness. Bathing her gently, she then wrapped her new daughter in fresh linens that Olivia supplied. Sofía was determined to enjoy every moment of caring for her first baby. This child was an innocent, not responsible for how she came into this world. Sofía intended to lavish on her baby the only thing she had to offer, her love.

She named her tiny daughter Eva Sofía Ramirez. She was committed to doing whatever she had to do to provide for her. Baby Eva was completely and utterly dependent on her mother, and Sofía accepted the challenge, mustering every ounce of courage she possessed. She recognized that this little baby needed her mother to be strong, and Sofía resolved to do whatever she could to never disappoint her daughter.

Olivia did her best to make Sofía and little Eva comfortable in her mother’s old bedroom. Roberto brought in a small cradle Olivia had borrowed from a friend. Sofía was very thankful for all the help and the love Olivia and Roberto provided. She decided she would not think of moving out of Olivia’s house that day. On that very special day, she would only spend it enjoying her first child.

A few days after Sofía gave birth to Eva, Rosa came to see her. Olivia led her into the parlor where Sofía was caring for her infant, and then excused herself. Sofía and Rosa sat for awhile and visited, while Rosa held the baby and rocked her gently in the hand-carved wooden rocking chair.

“
Have you decided what you’re going to do now?” Rosa asked quietly, trying not to awaken the baby.

“
No. I have no idea. I need money, and I need somewhere to live. Cousin Olivia has been very kind to me, but I can’t stay here after she gets married next month. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“
I wish I had an answer for you, my friend,” Rosa replied, continuing her rocking motion.

They visited for an hour or so, and the time came for Rosa to leave for work. Sofía walked her to the front door and thanked her for coming. Rosa kissed the baby on the head and gave Sofía a quick hug.

“
I’ll come back in a few days to see you again, Sofía,” she said, as she slipped out the door.

Day after day, Sofía tried to think through her situation, but no solution came to her. She knew how to work hard, but it would take more than that. What opportunities would there be for her, a single woman with a baby to care for?

She spent the next few days agonizing about her impending circumstances, trying to come up with an answer. Time was running out and she was feeling desperate. Sofía was rocking little Eva in the rocking chair when there was a light knock at the door. She was home by herself, so she got up slowly from the chair, trying not to wake Eva. With the baby snuggled in her arms, she went to see who was at the door.

“
Hi, Sofía. I told you I’d be back in a few days to visit you again.” It was Rosa. But she had not come alone. Her brother, Carlos, was with her this time.

“
Come in, come in.” Sofía said in a quiet but excited voice. She was always happy to see her friend, and now she brought her brother along, too. “Have a seat,” she said as she led them into the large, elegant parlor.

Rosa followed her in and took a seat on the sofa, facing the rocking chair. Carlos shuffled into the room after them, his hands stuffed in his pants pockets. He appeared uncomfortable in such luxury. He stiffly sat on the edge of the couch next to his sister.

“
You remember my brother, Carlos, don’t you? Remember, he was off to Florida with some friends to pick oranges the last time we saw him.”

“
Oh, yes,” Sofía answered, “Carlos. It’s nice to see you again. Are you finished with the oranges in Florida?” she asked, trying to make conversation.

“
Sí, all done,” he said. “I’m just here visiting my sister for a couple of weeks or so. Then I’ll be off to California soon with some of my buddies to work in the fields. There’s lots of work in California all through the summer – strawberries, tomatoes, onions, garlic, apricots. We’ll be working through the end of September, I’m sure. Maybe even into October with the walnuts.”

The three of them sat and visited for quite awhile. The sound of voices woke little Eva, but she was content being held by her mother. Carlos told stories of many of the places he had worked and the friends he had made. The work sounded hard, but it seemed to Sofía like an adventurous life. Her memory was obviously dimmed from the time she had to work in the fields as a child.

Sofía listened intently to Carlos’s stories. She was attracted to him, and he seemed to return the interest.

“
Let me hold the baby,” Rosa said, and Sofía carefully passed Eva to her friend. Rosa held her and enjoyed playing with her, but Carlos didn’t pay any attention to the baby. Sofía dismissed it as just being a man.

After that day, Rosa and Carlos came to visit Sofía every two or three days, and the relationship between Sofía and Carlos grew with each visit. They enjoyed each other’s company, and soon Carlos was taking Sofía out to eat at the restaurants and bars, while Rosa babysat. Sometimes Carlos would drink too much, becoming belligerent and jealous. Sofía tried to get him to stop drinking so much, but he always told her he worked hard and liked to enjoy himself, that he just got carried away a little. She was so hungry for love and affection that she chose to overlook his drinking.