She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy (15 page)

"I can't believe he grabbed that book. I was so embarrassed. I'm glad you noticed and didn't tell him.” Bethany blushed then changed the subject. “Wouldn't it be great if I got pregnant this month? We could do so much together."

"Yes, it would be.” Bethany was like the sister she always wanted. She loved Star and her niece Presley, but the situation of their childhood created a distance between them.

Bethany seemed as excited about the pregnancy as she felt. “Even if I don't, baby shower, shopping. Oh my God, this is going to be so much fun!"

"Chance.” A familiar voice came from the kitchen doorway.

"Star, what's wrong?” Her sister was crying and looked like hell warmed over.

"Mom. We have to.” She sobbed. “Go."

Instantly, her heart pounded.

"No. Oh no. I'm not going anywhere.” Her feet backed her up into Bethany. Bethany put an arm around her shoulder and stood firm with her.

"I can't do this alone.” Star stumbled toward her. “I need you."

"I did it for years—"

"No, Chance. She's dead. They...” She sniffed. “Found her and her boyfriend. She overdosed."

Star was still talking, but it wasn't making any sense. Her world was peaceful now. How could this happen? How could her mother still tear her life apart? “So, why do we have to go there?"

"To identify the body and arrange for burial.” Star took one more step closer and laid a hand on her arm. “I don't want to do this either, but I'm not the strong one. I can't go alone."

Chance knew she needed to go, for Star. Not for her mother. Though the woman made her life hell, she was still their mother. “Okay."

Bethany squeezed her. “You can send Presley here. We'll make sure she gets anything she needs while you two take care of this."

"Thanks. She's okay by herself, but if you can check in on her, that would be a huge relief. She's in school right now. I left a note telling her I needed to make a run out of town for work. I don't want to tell her until it's all done.” Star wiped her tears and gathered her senses. “I don't know why I'm crying. The woman hated me, and I didn't like her much either, but I didn't expect it to end this way. I guess somewhere I always hoped she would clean up and be a mother. That doesn't make any sense, does it?"

"I need to tell Heath.” Chance grabbed Star's hand and squeezed. “We'll do this together."

"Go on up to the house and get your stuff. I'll get Malina and finish up here.” Bethany squeezed one last time then whispered close to her ear, “You need me you call, anytime, okay?"

Chance nodded and headed out the door with Star. “I have to call Heath. He might want to go—"

"No. Please, Chance, let's just get down there and get back. It will take two days tops. I can't afford to miss work, and this will be better if we just handle it.” Star had stopped crying. She now walked next to her.

"I'll tell him, but if he wants to go, I'll wait.” Of course, Star wasn't expecting her to tell Heath she was leaving much less be willing to wait if he wanted to go. In the past, she would have bolted out the door to her mother's rescue without a second thought. Now, Heath was her world. Star was her sister, but they were always distant. When Chance came to visit, it was awkward. “You know I love you, but Heath is my husband. Regardless of how strong you think I am, I need his support."

Star stopped dead in her tracks. “You're serious."

"Yes.” She didn't hesitate. They finished the walk to her house, and Chance immediately picked up the phone. Of course, his phone was out of range, and whenever it was down, she couldn't leave a message. “Dammit."

"What?"

"His phone is out of range. I can't even leave a message.” Chance hung up the phone and looked at Star.

"Can't you call on the road? I have my cell. The longer we wait here the longer it will take to get there and back.” Star looked at her.

It was something in her sister's eyes that made her nod in agreement. Star really wasn't the strong one. She did the best she could with what she had, but she never tried to achieve more. Chance always thought Star was the brave one. For the first time in her life, she realized her big sister wasn't brave. She ran away from her problems in true family tradition.

"Okay, let me pack an overnight bag."

"Honey, I'm home.” Heath walked into the kitchen, the wildflowers he planned to surprise her with held behind his back. “Chance?"

The new dishwasher told him she left early. The kid was on a smoke break, so he didn't bother to go inside and get tied up with other people. He worried she may be feeling sick, probably sleeping. The book said she would be more tired than not as her body worked overtime to nurture the life inside it.

Feeling nostalgic and happy as a kid on Christmas, he made his way to their bedroom. She wasn't there. “Chance?"

In one instant, his heart bottomed out to his stomach. He opened her closet. The flowers he held dropped to the floor where he stood. A large suitcase was on her dresser. The drawer was open and a few items of clothes were scattered on the floor beside it. He could feel his head move back and forth. “No, no, no. No way. Nuh-uh. This ain't happenin.’ This ain't happenin.’”

His gut reaction was to call Bethany and Jack, to see if something went wrong today. He knew better. If she was hurt or the baby was in jeopardy, they would have called or found him by now. Jack knew exactly where he was all day.

His next feeling was of rage. Full blown, unrestrained rage.
How could she do this to me?

The bile rose in his throat, and he fought the urge to vomit. No. He needed out, and he needed to get away from this house right now.

Grabbing a few things from his dresser, he stuffed them into a duffle bag and headed outside. One look at the pink Harley made his blood boil. He kicked it sending it to its side. Obviously, she didn't care about anything, and she didn't need the bike to leave. He continued his fuming to the barn where he saddled up Romper and rode off. There was a place in the mountain he needed to go. A place his daddy took him as a child. A place no one else knew about, one where he, too, could disappear for a while.

They drove straight through. If not for gas, she wondered if Star would stop at all. She made sure not to drink too much because she didn't know how far it would be till the next stop.

"I don't know why he hasn't called me back.” Chance looked at her sister then looked at the speedometer. Star drove well over the speed limit, anxious to get to Colorado and back.

"He'll call,” Star said with confidence. “You know the whole time you were gone, he never came into the restaurant with another woman."

"I thought you said he was acting like a typical man.” She looked at the directions Star brought with her. “This next exit should be it. Yep, 142."

"What do I know about men?” Star exhaled. “I'm a single mother. I won't date because I am scared to death if I do, then my little girl will go through what I did.” Chance felt the sickness in her stomach. They were almost there. Another two hours and they would be tending to the final details of their mother's life. She hated to ask but needed to know. “Why did you leave?"

"I was pregnant.” Star sighed. “I thought if I left, he would come with me. Before he met her, before the drugs, he was different, you know?"

"Who?” Her heart pounded. It was what she feared all along.

"Davie. He was only twenty-one. He moved in because Mom told him she would help him out. She did that all right, helped him throw his life right down the toilet.” Star shrugged. “She doesn't know who he is. I told her we were both teens and his parents took him away to another state."

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?” She looked at her sister.

"He loved me. He didn't love her. He loved me, but once she got him hooked on the drugs, he stopped working. Of course, the income stopped coming in, and then she turned into her typical self and started fighting with him.” Star continued, “I would sneak out to talk to him. After a while, we started fooling around. He didn't sleep with her, you know that right?"

"I can't remember much about him really.” What else could she say?

"I can't let my little girl be exposed to any of it.” Star nodded. “I told her that her grandmother was in an old folks home in Texas."

"Star, you can't keep lying.” Chance touched her sister's arm. “Presley will understand. She is a smart girl. You have done a great job with her. It's okay. You were young and in love. He was young and stupid to start using drugs. It happens all right. You have nothing to be ashamed of."

"You think so? What about this trip, huh? I'm supposed to tell her that her grandmother is lying in a morgue in Colorado from an overdose?” Star glanced at her then back to the road. “We make do with what we have. Jasper is real good to me at the restaurant. I work the day shift, and I'm home with her at night. She's a smart kid, never asks for anything. I mean it. I take her school shopping at the thrift store, and she is conservative about what she buys, how she spends our money."

"She's a good kid,” Chance reassured her. “Just like her momma."

"No, she isn't like me. She's smart. When she worked this summer, she kept putting money in the bill folder. Do you know how it feels to have your thirteen-year-old give you money?” Her eyes glistened with tears. “I want so much more for her."

"She just wants you.” Chance wiped a tear from her eye. “Just like we wanted a mother to love us, Presley just wants you."

"So, you haven't seen him?” Chance asked Bethany.

"No. Jack has gone out to find him. Anything could have happened out at Bobby John's, and you know the cell phone doesn't get service. He may have tried to call but can't.” Something about Bethany's voice gave her the feeling she wasn't telling her the whole truth.

"But he's all right? Nothing has happened to him?” She sat on the corner of the hotel bed and rubbed her stomach. The last thing she needed was for something to happen to Heath.

"Of course, he's fine. Someone would have said otherwise. When Jack figures out where he is, then we'll give you a call. You may actually be home before he even realizes you were gone."

Again, something didn't ring true in her voice. There was nothing she could do about it now. In the morning, they would go to the station, collect her mother's belongings, and arrange for the cremation.

"Okay, well, just tell him I'm sorry for leaving in such a rush.” The silence on the phone was revealing. Something happened in Montana, but Bethany wasn't going to tell her on the phone. “I'll see you when we get back."

"He's out on a cattle drive at Bobby John's. The fence broke again.” Jack nodded. Bethany frowned, and they both coddled her like she was a little girl instead of a grown woman.

"So, he knows I left to see my dead mother, and he still went out on a cattle drive?” None of this made any sense.

"Well.” Jack grabbed the back of his neck and didn't make eye contact. Bethany looked at the floor and shook her head. “He was already gone, so he doesn't know you left."

"Uh-huh.” Chance could feel the muscles in her back and neck pull taut. A fire began inside her, a nice hot anger. “Where's Rafe?"

"Probably at Layla's,” Bethany answered and lifted her head. “How are you? Is there anything we can do until Heath gets home?"

At least she seemed confident Heath would indeed be returning home. “I'm just tired. I need to get some sleep. I'll see you guys in the morning if that's okay?"

"Sure, sure.” Jack smiled. His dimples popped out, and he stepped forward to hug her. He squeezed a little too tightly, the action more revealing. Bethany did the same except she stroked her hair and had to be pulled away. Something was up, and Chance was going to get to the bottom of it all. Right after the two liars left.

A few hours passed. She went out to the garage to grab her bike and ride up to Rafe's. The Harley was a newer model, and though it wasn't silent, it wasn't a grumbler either. As she looked at the hog, she noticed one side was scratched all to hell. Anger fused her cheeks and curled her fingers. Taking a closer look around the bike, she discovered a nice dent on the other side.

Heath
.

She knew in one instant he did this to her bike. Opting to take his truck instead, she went back inside, grabbed the keys, and got in the cab. Nothing was unloaded. His lunch bag stank to high heaven as it no doubt had been sitting in there since he left. The urge to vomit pulled her out of the truck bed. No choice, she was hoofing it up to Rafe's house. Maybe it was better he didn't see her coming anyways. Jan and Buck effectively avoided her. Jack and Bethany pampered her to sickening degrees. Rafe, on the other hand, was the realist. He would tell her the truth because he couldn't lie. It just wasn't in him.

When Chance opened the door to his home, she gasped. Everyone knew Rafe was remodeling his home. No one had seen the inside before because he was always gone during decent visiting hours. Here she was at midnight standing in a freshly painted entrance and looking into a home made for a family. “Rafe?"

She followed the clicking of a hammer up the stairs and into the bathroom. He was putting in the last tile, a pastel pink tile. “Rafe?"

He jumped. Just about out of his skin. “Jesus Christ!"

"Sorry.” Chance tilted her head to get a better look at the man. He was shirtless, sweaty, and hair hung in his brow. He had paint stains on his jeans, blue, pink, and purple stains crossed over white, beige, and green splotches. “Why are you making the bathroom so, pink and yellow?"

"Dammit. I knew this would happen. This is why I didn't let anyone in here.” He turned back around and finished the last tile. “It's for Savannah. Pink and yellow are her favorite colors. These are soft enough that if she changes her mind when she gets older, we can repaint the bathroom, and the tiles will still look good."

Her own problems seemed to recess to the back of her mind for a moment. Jan was right. Layla would destroy him if she hadn't already. “So, you've made progress with Layla?"

"This weekend is the weekend. Everything will change between us. The house is ready, and now I just need them to move in here.” He spoke with the same certainty he used when buying a horse. He spent a great deal of time researching, and then when the time was right, he made the decision. Rafe, unlike Jack or Heath, always made long term plans and used patience and skill to get what he wanted. He looked at his watch. “Is it really after midnight?"

"Yes.” Chance suddenly pulled out of the stupor of the beautiful and delicate little girl's bathroom and remembered she had a husband who was missing in action.

"Well, what the hell are you doing here?” He started out of the room and for the stairs. “Where's Heath? He didn't make it past the stairs?"

"I don't know,” she said. Her heart suddenly beating faster with the knowledge Rafe was as clueless as she was.

"What do you mean you don't know?” He stopped halfway down the stairs and turned to look up at her. His eyebrows drew together, and a hand pulled up to rest on his hip. “Well?"

"Bethany and Jack were supposed to tell him that I went to Colorado with my sister. My mother died. I tried to call him, over and over, but he never called back even when I finally got through to leave a message. Then, I came home, and they said he went to Bobby John's but..."

"Son of a bitch!” Rafe thundered down the stairs and into the kitchen. He grabbed a shirt off the back of a chair and pulled it on.

"Rafe?” She could barely keep up with him as he pulled on his boots and grabbed his hat.

"Go home, Chance. His ass will be there in the morning, and if you see Jack between now and then, tell him his ass—is grass when I get a hold of him.” And out the door he went.

"Rafe, Rafe,” she called and jogged beside him. They were headed toward the stables. “Where are you going?"

"To get my dumb ass brother, that's where. I tell you what if I ever get so damn blind I can't see a woman loves me, I want you to kick me in the ass, all right?” He kept up his long legged pace, and she finally gave out trying to keep up with him.

"Don't you think you could get there faster if you drive?” she called to his back.

"Nope. He's in the mountains, honey. Go on to bed. I'll have him back before morning,” he called over his shoulder.

"Wait!” she shouted, and he stopped.

"How do you know that?"

He turned to look at her. “I know my brother.” He tipped his hat and continued on his way.

Chance walked back to her porch. She couldn't see much from the angle, but she could see the stables though. When the horse appeared, her breath caught. He was on The White Queen. She could have been a race horse, was for a while, but Rafe rescued her, and Jack fell madly in love the moment he laid eyes on her. Being a generous big brother, he gave her to Jack under the condition he would never sell her or race her again. He said her heart wasn't in it. She loved to run, but she didn't love to race. Rafe knew a lot about horses. She hoped he knew as much about women, and certainly she hoped he knew where to find Heath.