She's Out of Control (7 page)

“We're hardly at the point to discuss children.” I laugh, but you know, come to think about it, we never have discussed children. That's kind of strange, isn't it? After nine months, shouldn't I know if Seth wants children? I have no idea.

“He must really be something, though,” Arin practically sings. “You broke Kevin's heart over him. And Kevin's the sort of man who gets what he wants.”

“I did
not
break Kevin's heart. That's completely laughable.”

Arin sighs deeply. “He thought when he became a church boy . . . all that was left was the proposal. Then he got a phone call from you. A Dear John phone call . . .” Arin shakes her head. “I've known Kevin a long time, Ashley. He's very sincere and very focused. He doesn't even date lightly. That's why I got rid of him. He way far too marriage-minded.”

It's getting hot in here.
“Kevin has to have a list of women waiting longer than my arm, and he's too intellectual for me. He needs a woman who can throw a good soiree. Someone who can plan for more than tater tots and weenies in a blanket.” Kay comes in and sets up a vegetable tray and I wave my hand. “Someone like Kay.”

“His parents didn't like you either, huh?” Arin leans in. “Did they push you to join Mensa?”

“It wasn't ever an option for me. I'm not the Mensa type of person. I'll get the tea,” I say, frantic for an exit. I go into the kitchen, only to feel Arin hot on my heels. I open the fridge and rummage for nothing in particular, hoping she'll go away. But she's standing in front of the swinging door, ensuring our privacy.

“You really did break his heart, Ashley.” I turn around and face her, noting that a single tear is suspended on her lower eyelash. “He's on fire for the Lord. Are you sure there's nothing left between you? That this Seth thing is going to take off? Because someone's faith might be dependent upon it.”

I slam the fridge shut. “I imagine you broke his heart too, Arin, when you left for the jungle. I didn't mean to hurt him, but you never told me he wasn't a Christian. I was seeing him under false pretenses. And I'm with Seth now. So none of this really matters. It's just water under the bridge.”

“Kevin is a Christian now.” Arin smiles, shrugging her narrow shoulders. “Missionary dating. It's one of my weaknesses. But guys never fall for me seriously like Kevin did you, Ashley. I'm the cute one they take out to nice dinners. You're the one they take home to mother.”

Somehow I feel the sting of that comment. I move over to the sink, and proceed to scrub the spotless counter. “Arin, what are you, twenty-four? You're an otter, and you naturally want to play. I'm just more serious-minded. Parents think of me as a way for their sons to grow up. It's the lawyer thing. It makes people think I'm reliable.” Which is a joke in itself.

“Kevin doesn't need to grow up. He's eighty inside if he's a day. You're not taking his feelings seriously.” Arin's cutesy tone is gone.

Now she's making me nervous. “What's this about, Arin?”

“I just came from Kevin's house. He thinks Seth is something you need to get out of your system. Frankly, I agree.” She crosses her gangly arms and waits for my reaction. Which I'm trying very hard not to give.

Breathe. Breathe.
“You told him that wasn't true, right? You told him how long I've had this crush on Seth, and it's more than that now. I love the man.” But I must admit, I'm totally flabbergasted. I hadn't thought Kevin gave me a second glance after we parted ways. Come to think of it, considering the source, I'm not sure he did.

“Kevin is praying up a storm, and he has the faith of a new Christian, Ashley. He believes with his whole heart that God is going to grant him the desire of his soul. Not to mention the fact that his parents never denied him a thing. How would he know what failure even feels like?”

“Ashley! Seth is here,” Kay calls from the living room.

“Listen, I need to go. I'll have a talk with Kevin, okay? I promise I'll let him know I meant what I said. That there was never anything like that between us.”

“He's a Christian now, Ashley. Just be careful. I hate to see a brother fall because . . .”

I don't wait for her to finish. Do I need this kind of guilt? I have serious issues to contemplate, like how I'm going to get a promotion without stepping in my boss's erogenous zone, and how I'm going to react when Seth Greenwood actually asks for my hand in marriage.

In the living room, I just stop at the sight of Seth. He's chatting up a storm with the group, but stops when his eyes meet mine. My stomach swirls at the sight of him, and a huge smile fills my face. His gem-blue eyes are sparkling, and when he looks at me from across the room, I feel it deep inside. My heart pounds, the back of my knees sweat, and I have to physically think about breathing. I close my eyes to avoid the surging emotions pounding in my heart. It seems like years since I've seen him, but it's only been three days.

He walks over to me. “Hi,” he says with a wink and kisses me on the cheek.
Did you see that, everybody? He kissed me publicly. I am so getting engaged!
“You look happy tonight.”

“Why shouldn't I be? I'm dating the handsomest guy in the room, and he's about to teach me Nehemiah. It doesn't get any more sizzling than that.” I wink back at him.

He leans in, grabs my hand, and whispers, “You are one strange girl, you know that?”

“Of course I do.”

“Let's get started, everyone.” Kay commands the room to silence, and we all take our regular seats.
We are so boring
. Same seats, different night. Hopefully, Seth has some great pearl of wisdom to offer us.

Arin has sauntered back into the room, and Seth's eyes brighten at the sight of her. “Arin, you're back!” Seth rushes to her side and kisses her on the cheek.
Yes, that's right. PDA in my own house with another woman. Claws extending now.

“Seth, you look fantastic.” She runs her fingers over his slight hair. “Never better, in fact.” Then she looks at me.

Seth sits beside her and opens up his Bible. He sits beside her, as in a different place, and I notice that all eyes in the room are on me. Well, I'm not giving them the satisfaction. I refuse to react. I open my Bible and begin to silently pray. Actually, it's kind of a vengeful prayer, but that doesn't matter now.

We're led in a fascinating study on the minor prophet, and his wisdom and complete assurance upon the Lord.
Oh ye of little faith
, is all I can think. When we're done, Arin smiles at Seth and walks into the kitchen. But surprise. I'm the one following her.

She turns around and smiles coyly, but her joyful expression disappears at the sight of me.

“What's going on?” I nod back at the door.

“What do you mean?”

“We're friends, Arin. You're a Christian. I'm a Christian, albeit not a very good one lately. But you've always said you didn't want to get married. Why are you playing with Seth's heart when he may want to marry me?”

She shrugs. “There's just something about him I find completely charming, Ashley. It's just a little innocent flirtation. When you're married, you and he can laugh about it.”

I fail to see the humor here. “Not to accuse you of anything, Arin, I know your heart is generally pure in these situations, but I'm a little raw when it comes to Seth. It's been a long road, and you have a way of making him forget about our relationship. I'm not talking behind your back; I'm telling you straight up. It makes me uncomfortable.”

“If that's what you're thinking, do you really want to marry someone so easily swayed?” Arin's lagoon-blue eyes are wide, and I'll admit I don't want to dwell too long on her question.

“No, of course not,” I say automatically. “But I don't want you pretending that a beautiful woman like you is going to whisk him off his feet either. Seth is very innocent in matters of the heart, and he doesn't understand that women sometimes play games.”

Arin shakes her head. “I'm not playing. And I'm not the one who has two wonderful guys fawning over me, so if there's anything to be jealous about, well . . .” She flails her hand about.

My bearings are completely off. Arin has always demanded male attention just by walking in a room. But this is something I haven't seen from her before, and my mind can't help but reel trying to interpret her motives. Sprinkles of distrust spray down my spine, and I want to shake them off like a Labrador at a lake, but I can't.

“Do you want something to drink now?” I ask Arin.

“No,” Arin's eyes widen. “There he is, the master of the hour.”

I turn around and see Seth. “Hi, great job tonight.”

He kisses my forehead, and then leans against the counter coolly, crossing his ankles. “Thanks. So Arin, how long are you home? Or is this for good?”

“That all depends. If I can find a reason to stay, who knows? I'm a leaf in the wind.”

“What would a young gal seeking adventure possibly do for excitement in the Silicon Valley?” I ask.

She looks directly at Seth, then me. “You tell me, Ashley. You're a woman of the world. What keeps you here?”

Nothing at the moment. “I'm going to help Kay with refreshments. You two have a good talk.” And I exit. I've been a Reason for thirty-one years, and God knows I'm not fighting for any man. This is not
The Bachelor,
and I am most certainly not desperate.

But when the doorbell rings, and Dr. Kevin appears in my vision with a bouquet, I realize I am desperate. Desperate and pathetic with nowhere to run.

Dr. Kevin Novak is disarmingly handsome. He grew up among the pony set in Atlanta, and now lives among the “casual Friday” crowd that is the San Francisco Bay Area. It's been months since I've seen him, but gazing at him now, I have two thoughts. One, I'm thrilled he's a new Christian (he's been attending a large, local Baptist church). Two, I feel like I've become the goal line, and regardless of his true feelings, his fierce competitiveness has taken hold. While we all want to be swept off our feet, no one wants to be captured.

Kevin holds out the flowers to Kay. “I'm sorry I'm so late, but I haven't had a Wednesday night off in months, and I wanted to come by and say how much I appreciate you all.” He nods toward me. “Hello, Ashley.”

“Hi, Kevin. It's good to see you.”
Now, would you go into the kitchen and get Miss Pixie away from my boyfriend?
As though on cue, the swinging kitchen door opens, and Seth appears. He sees Kevin and glances at me. This is so
90210
.

“I'm going to give Arin a lift home,” Seth announces.

“How did she get here?” I ask, this uncharacteristic shrew voice coming out of my mouth.

“I walked,” Arin says.

Now, I'll admit, I'm really confused. Arin is a sweet girl. She has a huge heart for the Lord, and she knows I'm dating Seth. I know she lives to flirt, but it's always seemed perfectly innocent. This is strange, and while I'm uncomfortable with it, I'm not jealous. Not yet anyway. Seth would give Jack the Ripper a ride home, and soon Friday will arrive. My naked finger becomes wrapped in proprietary platinum.

“Drive safely,” I say, as I pick up an empty candy dish.

Arin looks directly at Kevin and says nothing as she exits. Something is not right in the state of California. And it's more than our politics.

Calgon . . . take me away . . .

7

J
ust as the last hot massage rock was removed, Ashley basked in the warm California sunshine. Her table overlooked a forest-green valley of vineyards, and the scent of warm grapes and summer foliage filled her senses. The soothing sprinkling of the outdoor waterfall vied for attention with the call of the mourning doves.

“Mrs. Novak, would that be all?” A tall, slender aesthetician leans over Ashley.

“Yes, that will be all. Please send Dr. Novak out to the patio when you leave.” Ashley turns herself over, under the blanket of towels, and places Ralph Lauren sunglasses on her face.

“Of course, madam. I'll send him out immediately.” The aesthetician curtseys and disappears into the luxurious hotel suite.

Kevin saunters onto the patio, wearing a Stanford baseball cap. “There's my beautiful wife.” He places a kiss upon her lips. “How was your massage?”

“I feel like Sleeping Beauty being awakened by my handsome prince.”

“What shall we do with our day? Horseback riding? A swim in the pool? Maybe bicycling along the beach? Shopping in downtown Santa Barbara? What sounds good to you, my love?”

Ashley reaches up and kisses her husband. “Anything sounds good with you at my side.”

“That's what a honeymoon is all about, Ashley.”

“Indeed.”

“I'm sorry?” I'm blinking wildly as I've just realized the real Kevin, not my idealized version, is talking to me. My face is heated from that strange daydream, starring
him
and not Seth. What was that about?

Kevin is looking at me, waiting for an answer to a question I didn't hear. He shakes his head. “I asked, what do you think about Saturday? Sailing on the Bay? My friend owns this incredible yacht with three full-time crew. He's a member of the St. Francis Yacht Club at the San Francisco Marina. Have you been there? Sweeping views of the City, and the entire Bay and the Golden Gate Bridge. It's just magnificent.”

“I think I went to a wedding there once.” I rub my forehead, which is pounding. “You know, Kevin, Seth and I have been dating for about nine months. I don't really think it would be appropriate for you and me to go sailing together.”

Kevin looks at the door, his eyes insinuating the obvious question: Didn't your boyfriend just leave with another woman? “Aren't we friends, Ash? Just like Seth is still friends with Arin.”