Shockingly Seductive (Addicted To You, Book Seven) (4 page)

“It’s just that, I mean, you know how guys are.” I rolled my eyes and then reached for the eyeliner she was holding. I took it out of her hands and started to line my eyes, mostly because I wanted something to do with my hands.

“What do you mean?” Rachel frowned.

“I just mean that sometimes guys are different about sex.”

“Different?”

“Yeah, like, they don’t look at sex the same way we do. Like, take Justin for example. I know he’s had sex with lots of girls.”

She laughed. “No offense, Lindsay,” she said. “But Adam’s not Justin.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” she said quickly. “Justin’s great. I like him a lot. But he lives a different lifestyle than people like us.”

Anger flared inside of me, but I pushed it down. This wasn’t about me and Justin.

This was about her and Adam. “Yeah,” I said. I paused and leaned forward toward the mirror, lining my other eye with the black liner as I tried to think of what to say. “But guys are guys. Including Adam.”

Rachel looked confused for a moment, and then her face hardened. “Oh, I get it,”

she said. “You don’t think that Adam is taking this seriously. You don’t think he could possibly like me.”

“No, that’s not what I said.” I shook my head. “Of course Adam could like you.

You’re amazing. It’s just that I want you to be careful, because it’s so new.”

She jumped off the counter, her eyes blazing. “You know,” she said. “I don’t get you. You have Justin. Do you really have to have Adam, too?”

“What?”

“You think Adam likes you. And maybe he did, I don’t know. But he doesn’t anymore. You don’t have to hoard every guy, Lindsay. Everyone doesn’t have to like you.”

I felt like I’d been slapped. “Rachel,” I tried. “That’s not what I’m saying, I swear. I don’t like Adam. And even if I did, I would never do anything to jeopardize our friendship.”

“Oh, so if you did like him, you think you could have him.” She threw her hands up in the air, and as she did, she hit my purse, and it fell off the counter. My makeup, cell phone and wallet all clattered to the floor, and a container of mascara rolled under a stall door.

“No, I don’t think I could have him!”

Rachel took a deep breath, like she was trying to calm herself down. “Whatever, Lindsay,” she said, and shook her head. “Look, I don’t want to fight with you.”

Then why are you?
I felt like saying. But instead, I just said, “I don’t want to fight with you, either.”

She bent down and made a half-hearted attempt to help me pick up my stuff.

When she was done, she handed me my purse. “Let’s just take some space, okay?”

I nodded.

She walked out of the bathroom without saying goodbye.

Tears pricked at the back of my eyes.

How had everything suddenly gotten so complicated? First things with Justin got all awkward. And now things with Rachel were weird.

A tear slipped down my cheek, and I reached up and wiped it away. Black streaks covered my hand. Apparently, my eyeliner wasn’t waterproof. I grabbed a bunch of paper towels from the dispenser and wiped at my face.

I took in a shaky breath.

Get it together, Lindsay,
I told myself.

I was supposed to meet Carter soon. And I couldn’t go to the clinic looking like a mess, or having my mind a mess either.

Whatever stuff I had going on in my personal life was just going to have to wait.

***

Of course, this was easier said than done.

Especially since I was wearing the same clothes I had on the night before, and my face was still faintly streaked with eyeliner. I needed to shower before I met Carter, and in order to do that, I needed to grab my shower stuff from my room. Rachel was lying on her bed, listening to her iPod and reading her Humanities assignment, and she stayed silent while I gathered my things.

When I was done getting ready in the bathroom, I went back to my room.

I motioned for Rachel to pull out her ear buds.

“So I’m going to meet Carter at the clinic,” I said. “I’ll see you later?”

“Sure.” She smiled, but it was strained. “See you later.”

I waited for a second, just in case she wanted to suggest we get dinner or hang out later, but she didn’t. So I left.

The weather wasn’t that nice – it was the kind of day that straddled the line between summer and fall, and not in a good way. The air was filled with late summer humidity, but the sun wasn’t out. The trees moved frantically in the breeze, like the leaves knew their days were numbered.

Despite the crappy weather, I expected my mood to pick up when I got to the medical center. After all, science was my sanctuary, the thing I could always turn to when things weren’t going well. But for some reason, it wasn’t like that this time. This time, nothing was making me feel better.

I walked down the halls toward the clinic, telling myself that things would work themselves out. They always did, didn’t they?
Not always,
a voice in my head whispered.
People break up. Friendships get severed. It happens all the time.

When I pushed open the door to the clinic, I expected to be greeted by Jenna, the receptionist. But she wasn’t behind the desk. The lights were on in the small waiting room, and I could see that the computer at Jenna’s desk was booted up, so obviously someone had been there.

But now the area was empty.

I didn’t know if I should just head back to the office and exam rooms --- I wasn’t sure if it was cool to just go back there without permission.

And then I heard voices.

A second later, Carter and Jenna appeared behind the glass partition of the reception desk.

“You shouldn’t have sent her back there before I got here,” Carter was saying.

He shook his head and moved over to the corner, where he started typing something into Jenna’s computer.

“She said she worked at Omega,” Jenna said. She twisted her hands in front of her. “What was I supposed to do?”

“You were supposed to wait until I got here!”

“She’s with the drug company! I couldn’t just wait for you, I didn’t even know you were coming in today.”

“You should have called me.”

Jenna bit her lip and looked down at the floor. “I know. I’m sorry.”

Carter sighed. “It’s okay.” He moved away from the computer and ran his fingers through his hair. “But next time, she’s not to go back there without me, you got it?” He sounded really stern, which was weird. He was always so laid back. Whatever Jenna did must have made him pretty upset.

“Hey,” I said, deciding it was time to speak up. I didn’t want to take the chance that I was hearing a conversation I wasn’t supposed to hear. I had enough awkwardness in my life, thank you very much.

“Oh, hey,” Carter said. If he was annoyed that I’d heard him scolding Jenna, he didn’t show it. He gave me a bright smile, then walked out of the reception area to where I was standing in the waiting room. “Sorry about that,” he said, giving me a sheepish grin. He glanced behind him to where Jenna was back at her computer, tapping away at the keys. He lowered his voice so she couldn’t hear. “Was I being too hard on her?”

I shrugged. “What’d she do?”

“We’re getting audited.”

“Audited?” I frowned. “You mean like on your taxes?”

He laughed. “No. Our study’s getting audited. By the drug company that’s funding part of it, Omega. They have the right to come to the clinic and look around, you know, check out what we’re doing. So the woman showed up this morning and Jenna let her in before I got here.”

“Oh.” I wasn’t sure what the problem was. Weren’t the people from the drug company supposed to be allowed to pretty much do whatever they wanted to make sure their study was being run correctly? But I didn’t feel comfortable pressing Carter for more information. He was already stressed enough without me bugging him.

“Anyway,” Carter said. “I figured you and I could do some filing today. The paperwork is a mess, and almost all of the data still needs to be entered into the computer.”

“Sounds fun,” I said.

He grinned. “Sarcastic much?”

“Oh, no. I’m happy to help. I swear, I wasn’t being sarcastic.” I was mortified that he thought I was complaining about the kind of work he wanted me to do. Yes, interacting with the patients the other day had been amazing, but I certainly wasn’t expecting that to happen every time.

“Relax,” Carter said. “You’re all jumpy today.” He paused for a moment, then leaned in close to me and whispered, “You want to get out of here?”

“Out of here?” I repeated. Hadn’t he just said there was a ton of paperwork to do?

“Yeah.” He shrugged. “The paperwork can wait for a bit. Let’s go for coffee or something. We can talk more about the study, and I can fill you in on the stuff Dr.

Klaxton has in the pipeline.”

I thought about it. On one hand, I wasn’t sure I should be going for coffee with another guy when I had kissed Justin last night. On the other hand, Justin wasn’t my boyfriend.

And besides, Carter and I were working together. In fact, he was kind of my boss.

And so if he wanted to go to coffee and talk about things, who was I to say no? Not to mention that the thought of going for coffee was infinitely more enticing than doing paperwork, especially with the state of mind I was in.

“Let’s go,” I said, and smiled.

***

There was a coffee shop right down the street, a cozy little place filled with tiny tables and comfy looking chairs.

Carter ordered coffees for us, and then caught me gazing longingly at the glass case in front that was filled with pastries.

“Get something,” he urged.

“No way.” I sighed. “Sugar will make me crash.”

“Ahh, but it’s so worth it.”

I shook my head.

“You sure? Otherwise you’re going to have to watch me eat a cinnamon bun.”

“Okay, fine,” I said, pretending to roll my eyes. “You convinced me.” Why not?

Yes, I’d have a sugar crash, but it’d be so worth it. And besides, I could always ply myself with coffee in an effort to curb it.

“You go get us a table, okay?” Carter said.

“Sure.” I found an empty one near the window, then reached into my bag and pulled out my phone. I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but I was hoping for a text from Justin. Not that I was expecting one. It just would have been nice, especially since things between us had felt slightly weird this morning.

But of course, there was nothing. I put my phone back down on the table and tapped my fingers against it. I didn’t like just sitting here, doing nothing. Now that my mind had nothing to focus on, I couldn’t stop thinking about Justin. I kept thinking about kissing him, and then I kept thinking about him kissing Brooklyn. Had he whispered her name the way he’d whispered mine? Had he touched her the way he’d touched me? Did he think she was a better kisser than I was?

“Here you go,” Carter said, appearing next to me. He set a coffee and a yummy-looking cinnamon bun down in front of me.

The tables were so small that his knee brushed against mine as he sat down. He pushed the cinnamon bun toward me. “Go ahead,” he said. “Sugar makes everything better.”

I pulled off a piece of the pastry and popped it into my mouth. He was right. I did feel better, even if it was only for a second. “You’re right,” I admitted. I took a sip of hot coffee and forced myself to focus my thoughts. “So tell me more about this auditor from Omega,” I said.

Carter looked at me skeptically. “You really want to talk about the
auditor
?”

“Sure. Why not?”

“I don’t know. There’s not much to tell, it would be very boring.” He shrugged and leaned back in his chair, studying me. “Besides, you already seem a little distracted today.”

“Oh.” I shook my head vehemently. “I’m not distracted. Not at all. I’m sorry if I – ”

“Lindsay,” he said, laughing. “You need to relax. Seriously, I’m not your boss.

I’m just overseeing some of the logistics of the study. If you want to be afraid of someone, be afraid of Dr. Klaxton.”

“I’m not afraid of you,” I said.

“Oh, really?” He took a sip of his coffee. “Then why are you acting like it?”

“How am I acting like it?”

He shrugged. “Every time I text you, or email you, you’re all formal and professional.”

“No, I’m not!” I wasn’t sure why I thought I needed to defend myself. Being professional was a good thing. Wasn’t it?

“Lindsay,” he said, rolling his eyes. “You sign off every single one of your emails with ‘all the best’.”

“Carter,” I countered. “You caught me smashing DVDs that a boy sent me. If that’s not unprofessional, I don’t know what is.”

He laughed. “Fair enough.” He took a sip of his coffee, then shook his head, like he was remembering that day. “What ever happened with that whole situation, anyway?”

I shifted on my chair. Somehow telling Carter about Justin felt weird. And I definitely couldn’t tell Carter that Justin was upset about Carter sending me texts. That was way too strange, even if Carter did want me to relax. “With what situation?” I stalled.

“With the boy? Did he finally get the message?”

“Umm…”

“Oh, God,” Carter said, setting his cup down and looking at me incredulously.

“You got back with him?”

I nodded.

I thought I was going to get a lecture, but instead, Carter just seemed amused. He shook his head, like I was a child who was about to learn a lesson. “Yeah, and how’s it going?”

“I’m not sure,” I admitted.

“You want to talk about it?”

I shrugged. “It’s just…everything feels so complicated with us. There’s this other girl sort of in the picture, and he’s really…” I was about to say ‘experienced’ but I didn’t want Carter to know that I wasn’t. “Anyway, it’s not just him. It’s everything. I mean, I came to college expecting this amazing experience, and now I’m having boy drama and roommate drama.” I sighed and ate another piece of my cinnamon bun. “It’s just not how I pictured things.”

“So stop the drama,” Carter said, like it was that easy.

“Stop the drama?”

“Yeah.” He pushed his chair in closer to the table and leaned in toward me, like he was about to share a secret. “You haven’t even been here that long. Don’t take things so seriously. If this guy is being a jerk, get rid of him. If he’s not, just have fun with it.