Sidelined (2 page)

Chapter
2 – A Real Life Cinderella

Girly lunches didn’t usually mean eating at the diner across from the Warriors’ training ground, but Freya had to work so we couldn’t go too far. We were cool with it, though. The food was good, and waiting until the next weekend before getting together was not an option. The three day wait almost killed us.

Leah and Freya were already at the diner when I arrived, chatting in one of the booths. I sped across the room towards them. Leah stepped out of the booth and I flung my arms around her.

“Welcome home!”

I took a step backwards, grinning at my best friend. When she came over right before Christmas, Leah was the happiest she’d ever been. She looked even happier now than she had a couple months ago. Her eyes sparkled; a million miles from the Leah I hung out with in London. The one who pretended to be okay when she wanted to hide away. Don’t get me wrong, Leah would have coped without Radleigh, but there would always have been a part of her that wasn’t complete.

Urgh, you sound like a total sap.

I
was
a sap. A real-life Cinderella. I wanted my friends to get the same happy ending I got.

I shook my head to clear the usual mess of never-ending, galloping thoughts. Maybe I
did
suffer from some kind of attention disorder.

“Bree!”

I jolted at the sound of Leah’s voice. She and Freya laughed, completely used to my dizziness. I slid into the seat beside Freya, giving her a hug too. We took a few minutes to order our food before getting down to the important business of filling each other in on what we’d been up to. Stupid, really. We spoke at least once a week, often more. We’d had more than the occasional night of webcam silliness and group chats with Jesse, Miguel and Will, too. Wasn’t as good as this, though.  Being together.

“Before we get started,” I said, “Jesse says ‘hey’.”

“How is he?” Freya asked, placing the menu back in its holder.

“Bored. Real bored. He’s about one more of his mom’s homemade cookies away from jumping out the window.”

“Yeah, he was the same way yesterday,” Leah said. “Radleigh and I stayed for a few hours to keep her at bay but she’s a sweetheart and it’s hard to be annoyed by her when she cares so much.”

I nodded, a pang of long-buried jealousy shooting through me. Jealousy probably wasn’t the right word. I didn’t want Jesse
not
to be part of a caring family, I just missed having one of my own. I hadn’t been fussed over by my own parents for a long time.

“We should go over together sometime.” I smiled to hide my inner discomfort. “I still haven’t heard enough about his Isabelle.”

Leah laughed. “Leave the guy alone, hasn’t he told you enough already?”

“Maybe. Meeting a girl in another country and falling in love is so damn cute.”

“Radleigh met her when we were in England. He said she’s a cutie pie.”

Freya laughed. “Radleigh ‘Macho Man’ McCoy used the term ‘cutie pie’? What have you done to him?”

A blush coloured Leah’s cheeks. “He’s still a macho man, thank you very much! Anyway, enough of the Jesse talk.” She turned her attention to Freya. “I want to hear about you and Will!”

Honestly, the Westberg Warriors should have had their own reality show. How cool would that be? Seeing our hot guys on television, not just playing soccer, doing normal stuff too. Hmm, scratch that. My life was fairly boring away from the pitch. Nobody would want to see Jude reminding me to make the bed, and me puttering around our house until my friends finished work. There’s only so much shopping a girl can do.

Where was I? Right. Freya and Will. Romantic stuff. Those guys took
forever
to admit they were in love. I knew from the first time I met them, and I’m positive everyone else did too. They were best friends as well as a couple. Pretty neat, right?

“We’re really good,” Freya said. “I have some news.”

I exchanged a curious glance with Leah, and Freya continued, “Will and I decided it’s silly for us to be renting separate apartments when we spend so much time together. One of our apartments is always empty so he’s gonna move in with me sometime in the next few weeks.”

“Awesome, Freya!” I said, and Leah gave her hand an excited squeeze. “You need some help moving him in?”

“We will. We’d appreciate any help you can give us.”

“Count us in,” Leah said. “I’m all for bringing you two closer together.”

“Speaking of close,” Freya said, smiling. “You know we’re desperate to hear how you’re settling in with Radleigh.”

Leah laughed. “Being here with him is brilliant. We lived together in the UK for a while anyway, so we’re already pretty used to being together all the time. I …” she paused, shaking her head. “I can’t get over how big his place is.”

“Your place,” I corrected. “It’s yours now, too.”

“I’m still getting used to that. Freya, you know how long I took to call your apartment ‘home’.”

“True story.”

“I love living there. I love knowing that when he goes away for matches, it’s only one night, not weeks we’ll be apart. I’m not looking forward to my first night alone, though.”

“Stay with me,” I offered. “I hate being alone in a big house, too.”

“I might just do that.”

“So, what’s the plan?” Freya asked. “I mean, now you’re here, what will you do? You said you wanted to find a job.”

Leah puffed out her cheeks and slowly breathed out. A smile pulled at the corners of her mouth. “Yeah, I actually have something to tell you. Keeping this from you has almost killed me.”

“Oh my God!” I jumped out of my seat and slid in beside Leah, almost knocking over the salt and pepper shakers in my excitement. “He proposed, didn’t he? You’re not going to search for a job because you have a wedding to plan! Oh, can I be bridesmaid? Please? I’ll help you with planning and everything!”

Leah and Freya giggled but how could I possibly hold my enthusiasm in? Leah would be the most gorgeous bride, Freya and I would be perfect bridesmaids, and we’d have so much fun planning! Planning my own wedding was the best thing ever. Bridal magazines, dress shopping, choosing flowers, and colours and…

“Calm down.” Leah held out her left hand to me and wiggled her fingers. “He didn’t propose. Look, no ring.”

My excitement deflated like a popped balloon. Way to ruin my buzz.

“So, what
is
it?”

Again, Leah let out a breath. “I’m pregnant.”

Stunned. No other way to describe how I felt. Across the table, Freya’s eyes bulged out of her head.
Pregnant?

“I know,” Leah said, shattering the stunned silence. “We’ve only been together since last November. Apparently I got pregnant right away. I’m almost at twelve weeks now and the baby is due in August.”

Holy wow.

“I… I don’t…” Freya began, her mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. “I mean… well, congratulations, it’s just… so fast.”

Leah nodded. “Yeah. Insanely fast. It threw both of us. I thought Radleigh was going to tell me not to bother moving over here, he was so freaked out. So we talked. A lot.” She rested her hand over her stomach and as I looked closer I noticed the early stages of the bump had already formed. Not surprising since she was so petite. “We know it won’t be easy, but this is what we want.”

This might be better than a wedding.
Aunt Bree. I could totally imagine myself being cool Aunt Bree to Leah and Radleigh’s baby.
Ooh, baby clothes!

“I think this is amazing,” I said, giving her another hug. “I’m so happy for you.”

While we ate, we talked more about what happened when Leah told Radleigh she had a bun in the oven, then went back to Freya and Will’s plans, and finally to me. I didn’t have a whole lot of news to share, though. Nothing that didn’t relate to new clothes and shoes. God, no wonder people thought I had a head full of air.

It never used to bother me. It
didn’t
bother me. The opinions of others, although sometimes hurtful, never ruined my day. But since I turned twenty-one, I’d started to wonder what I would do. I’d been married for a year already. No career, just wife to a hot soccer star. Not that I minded being the wife of a hot soccer star. Jude meant everything to me. Maybe
that
was the problem.

“Are you okay, honey?” Freya asked.

I had to stop letting every emotion show on my face.

“Yeah, I’m good. Sorry, I…never mind. I-”

My sentence ended when Radleigh and Will walked through the diner door. How sweet, they’d come to see their women before they had to get back to work. I wasn’t offended Jude hadn’t joined them. He wasn’t crazy about Radleigh; another awkward side effect of Leah cheating on Miguel. Even so, I hoped they would at least learn to tolerate each other again for the sake of us all hanging out

I moved aside so Radleigh could take my seat beside Leah while Will slipped in beside Freya, leaving me somewhat on the outside. I sat down in the seat at the end of the table, and watched the newly-ish formed couples with interest.

Freya and Will were adorable together. Their friendship meant they could easily goof around without losing any of the romance between them. Their friendship made the romance stronger. Leah and Radleigh had an entirely different kind of relationship. They weren’t friends first, not really. They learned everything they needed to know through a battle of wills. They would never be the types for cutesy pet names. They were too fiery. The way they looked at each other probably made outsiders either jealous or horny because it seemed like the only thing they wanted to do was go home and jump each other’s bones.

I wonder what people think when they look at me and Jude.
Not a tough one to answer. According to those who didn’t take the time to get to know us, I was a tramp and he was a pervert. Age gaps, even ones that aren’t glaringly obvious, make people talk. Like with everything else, I let it glide over me. I’d proved I cared about more than his money, and if he wanted someone pretty hanging off his arm there were millions of better candidates than me.

Chapter 3
- I Was More On Track With The Pet Hamster

After hanging out with the girls, I’d intended to spend a little time with Leah when Freya went back to work. Instead I made up an excuse and went home. What was I rushing back to? I didn’t have so much as a pet hamster to take care of. Even if I did own a pet hamster, it would have been taken care of by our housekeeper like everything else. I’d told Jude over and over we didn’t need to employ outside help. Or we could at least give her a couple days off. I probably didn’t have it in me to clean our entire five bedroom, four bathroom, plus a million other rooms - including a panic room
, a freaking panic room!
- house alone. Jude wouldn’t hear of me trying, though. Aside from cooking, he insisted I let someone else do the work.

I’d known him since I was seventeen and he’d always treated me like a princess. I loved him for it. I’d needed someone like him, someone who cared about me unconditionally. When I first moved in with him, we didn’t start dating right away. In fact, he made sure to keep his distance. He didn’t want to be like the other guys in my life who used me then threw me away. Not Jude. He moved me into his biggest guest room, allowing me to wander around his house, not even slightly worried I’d steal his shit while he was out. Not that I would have; I liked how he knew that.

I shouldn’t have blown Leah off. Maybe she could have helped me figure out why someone with everything would feel so empty.

What’s happening to me? Where’s the happy?

Jesse had called me “sunshine”. Lots of people viewed me that way. Sunny to the point of being irritating. Inside, I still sort of felt sunny because I had so much to look forward to. Freya and Will were moving in together, Leah and Radleigh had a baby on the way. Two reasons to celebrate right there. But they weren’t
my
celebrations.

I sank into our enormous L-shaped sofa, running my hands through my hair.

The phone rang, forcing me out of my funk until I saw Taylor’s number. Again.

“What do you want?” I asked, not even bothering with hello.

“Oh, thank you so much for answering!” The sigh of relief she let out almost made me feel guilty. Almost.

“Taylor, seriously. You need to stop this.”

“I miss you, Bree. I miss spending time with you.”

Did it make me a terrible person for the fleeting thought that I missed her, too? In some ways, I did. With her being a little younger than me and only working a part time job, we’d gotten close. She could be so sweet, but then she turned out to be a stalker and… well, I discovered she was more bitch than anything else.

“You should have thought about that before you called me a worthless, useless, fake-boobed skank.”

For the record, I don’t believe in surgery. Every part of me is natural, sculpted by hours in our home gym.

The line went quiet for a minute. Literally, a full minute. “I was upset with you.”

“You had no reason to be upset with me.”

“I thought you’d understand!”

“Understand what? That you strung Jesse along because you were trying to get close to Radleigh? Why
would
I understand?”

Another pause. “Because… well, you did what you needed to do to get Jude, didn’t you?”

Her words stung. I didn’t
do
anything to get Jude. She’d heard only what she wanted to hear about me. She hadn’t changed in the last few months; she still didn’t mind making nasty digs to get her point across.

“Goodbye, Taylor.”

She took a deep breath. I ended the call before she spoke. She hadn’t missed me; she wanted to worm her way back into the group. I figured she’d pegged me as an easy target and since I had been the closest to her, I was the most obvious person to work on. Well, too bad for her, I was done.

With a sigh, I forced myself onto my feet, telling myself to stop wallowing and appreciate the good things coming my way. I had my best friend back! That was reason enough to snap out of this weird sadness.

When Jude got home, we sat down at our unnecessarily large dining room table to eat the steak and fries - a rare, mid-season treat - I’d cooked, and I tried not to gag at how raw he ate his meat. I hadn’t fully shaken off the words Taylor had said to me, or the messed up belief something was missing from my life but I’d kept busy, determined not to let it get the best of me.

“How did things go with the girls today?” Jude asked, topping up my wine glass.

I brightened a little at the mention of my friends. “Good. We didn’t really have enough time but it was fun to get together.” Again, Leah’s pregnancy flickered through my mind. I opened my mouth to speak, catching myself before I blurted the news out. I’d no idea if Radleigh had told everyone yet.

Jude’s lips quirked into a smile. “Radleigh told us about Leah.”

“Isn’t it awesome?” I took a celebratory gulp of wine. “Leah will be an amazing mom.”

I could already imagine her holding a baby, pushing a stroller when we went out to lunch, and being totally smitten with her little bundle of joy. I’d already seen how much she loved her nephew and how great she was with him. And, well, Radleigh had moments when he
acted
like a child… she’d gotten all the practice she needed.

“You think Radleigh and Leah will last?” Jude asked. “It’s pretty early in the relationship to add a baby in to the mix.”

I virtually heard him thinking,
‘They aren’t the most stable couple’.

“You don’t know Leah at all, plus you and Radleigh have never been best friends. They’re solid. An explosive kind of solid, but they want to be together. They work. I think they can survive anything.”

“They didn’t get together in the most conventional way.”

I fixed him with a stare of disbelief. “You’re gonna judge
them
on how they got together? Because we didn’t exactly have an eyes-met-across-a-crowded-room beginning.”

Jude halted his attack on his steak. “Fair point.”

“Maybe having a baby will make them stronger.”

“Are you trying to tell me something?” Jude crossed his eyes, making me snort out a laugh.

I guess I have some practice at dealing with a man-child too.

Was that the missing “thing”? Did I want a baby? Images of myself getting into a tangle while trying to change a diaper flew through my head, helping me answer the question. I definitely wasn’t ready for motherhood yet. I was more on track with the pet hamster.

“No,” I said. “Do
we
need to be brought closer together?”

Jude shook his head. “We’re good. I’m just kidding around.”

I watched him as he ate his dinner. My husband. He had been my husband for a year; I still hadn’t gotten used to the sound of those words. I had a husband. A gorgeous one at that. He was slim, some might say skinny. Muscles were well and good but I preferred a guy who didn’t look like he’d crush me if he rolled over in bed. He had enough strength to keep me safe, and his smile… if we ever got around to having children, I hoped they inherited his smile.

So, I wasn’t dissatisfied with Jude either.

Then what
was
I missing?

**

Apparently, Will and Freya couldn’t wait any longer to move in together, so the next weekend they rounded up the troops and we all pulled together to help. “The troops” consisted of me and Jude, Leah and Radleigh, Miguel, Bryce, and of course, Freya and Will. Will had packed up a bunch of his stuff during the week but he hadn’t come close to getting everything done so our first stop early Saturday morning was to Will’s apartment to help him finish up. Will had hired a van and he, Jude and Bryce drove back and forth to Freya’s with the already packed boxes. Freya and Miguel were at her place taking in Will’s packed up belongings and carefully stacking them up. That left me with Radleigh and Leah at Will’s which I was totally psyched about because I wanted to watch them for longer than the five minutes I’d been with them at the diner.

I wonder if they can be in a room together without arguing now?

“Can you hand me that duct tape?” Leah called to me as she closed the lid on another cardboard box. We were in Will’s living room, all three of us in separate corners.

I rolled the tape across the wooden floor towards her and she scooped it up.

“Don’t lift that box,” Radleigh said. “Let me do it.”

Leah rolled her eyes. “It’s full of cushions. I think I can carry a box of cushions to the hallway.”

He smiled, their eyes meeting and shooting out a spark of electricity that shocked me even on the other side of the room. “Okay, cushions are fine. Leave the books and DVDs to me.”

“DVDs aren’t heavy either.”

“Just let me do it, okay? You pack, I’ll carry.”

Well, that answers my question.
Okay, they weren’t really arguing,but I realised the battle of wills that somehow brought them closer would always exist. Probably wasn’t such a bad thing. At least things would never get boring between them.

The daddy-to-be part of Radleigh had really taken over. The look on Leah’s face told me she found it a bit smothering, though.

“Hey, Radleigh.” I turned to him. “Could you go make us some tea? We’re getting a little thirsty. All this work is
exhausting
.”

“We’ve only been here forty-five minutes.”

I gave him a pointed look. “Fine. Go make us some tea because we need some girl talk.”

Leah busted out laughing and Radleigh’s lips twitched into a grin. “You’ve got five minutes.”

He got to his feet and strode out of the room, ruffling Leah’s hair as he passed. When he’d gone, I slid across the floor on my butt to sit beside Leah, who was still chuckling. “You have such a way with words.”

“Okay, what’s with him? I never thought I’d see the day when Radleigh McCoy would let a woman tell him what to do!”

“I honestly don’t know. I’m the one who’s supposed to get the pregnancy hormones that make me act strange but Radleigh’s having a few of his own.”

I glanced down at her tiny baby bump, still in shock.
So. Fast.

Jude and I never discussed having babies. Well. Not in-depth. The conversation over dinner the other night didn’t count. We sort of agreed we’d like to start a family one day but we hadn’t mentioned it in any detail since before the wedding. Leah and Radleigh probably hadn’t talked about starting a family either until it happened, hitting them in the face like a wet diaper.

Did I still want children? Yeah. Not in a desperate impregnate-me-right-now way, but it would be nice to breed one day. I’d make damn sure my kids had better teenage years than I did.

“Bree!” Leah snapped her fingers in front of my face.

“Sorry, what did you say?”

“I asked if you’re okay. You’ve been quiet today.”

It’s pretty easy to tell when something is up with me; I don’t ramble. But I didn’t want to burden Leah with my… whatever. That was the main issue. I couldn’t talk if I didn’t know what bothered me, and hard as I’d tried, I hadn’t found the answer.

“I’m good,” I told her, smiling. “Focusing on getting Will packed up so he can be with Freya.”

Leah furrowed her brow as if she didn’t believe me, but she didn’t press me. “So, are you gonna help keep Radleigh off my back today?”

“Hmm, maybe. I see his point, though. You should be careful.”

“I know, but I don’t want to be treated like a porcelain doll for the next few months. He’s going to drive me insane if he won’t let me do anything. He already nixed Miguel’s idea of us going clubbing.”

“Aw, you deserve at least one night out on the town before you get too big to fit into any of your cute outfits!”

Nights out were high on my list of things I’d looked forward to, and without Leah they wouldn’t be the same. Radleigh shooting the idea down probably had more to do with it being Miguel who asked than anything. He hated Leah and Miguel’s friendship. I guessed Radleigh found the whole friends-with-an-ex thing pretty weird since he was always more a pump ‘em and dump ‘em kind of guy.

“Thanks, Bree. Way to boost my confidence.”

“Oh, come on! You’re not gonna get fat, you’re gonna have one of those perfect round tummies that goes straight back to flat once the baby’s popped out.”

“God, I hope so!”

“Tea’s ready, ladies.”

Radleigh placed a tray with three steaming mugs on the floor in front of us, then sat down, too. “So what did I miss?”

“Me telling Leah she’s going to be the most gorgeous pregnant woman to ever walk the planet.”

Leah gave me a playful smack on the arm, and Radleigh laughed. “If I tell her that, she’s gonna be unbearable to live with. I’m just gonna call her ‘chubs’.”

Ah, there was the Radleigh McCoy we knew.
No. Still different.
More teasing and fun instead of arrogant and annoying. And, boy, could he be mean when someone crossed him.