Sue did not flinch. âI didn't
know
anything. But after Marcie Calder died, I began to question everything. . . .'
âWell, I'd have done a lot more than that.
If
you'd bothered to tell me before I became Sam's lawyer. And so would the Lake City cops, if anyone was left from 1967.' His tone was savage, bitter. âBut Sam's a lucky man, Sue. I always thought so. And now it's clear just how lucky he's been in
you
.'
There were tears in her eyes again. She stood, grasping his shoulders, looking up into his face. âIt was his
testimony
that did it. I haven't slept since then â worrying, hoping that I'm crazy. Not just because I'm scared to death, or because of the kids.' Her voice lowered. âIt tore me apart that I may have asked you to defend the man who murdered Alison. The man who changed your
life
. . . .'
Because of what I didn't know, I'm his
lawyer
now.
His voice was quiet again. âOh, things are a little worse than that. No court would let me testify in a second Marcie Calder trial â I might as well be mute and paralyzed. And even if Karoly let Sam's
wife
â or maybe
ex
-wife â take the stand, which I'm pretty damned sure he wouldn't, there's how your
kids
would deal with that. As for Alison, nothing you've told me
proves
a thing.' Tony paused and then, through his anger, saw Sue Cash as herself again. âHope you're wrong, Sue. You still might be. Otherwise, Sam's killed twice.'
Sue shook her head, as if to clear it. âSo there's nothing you can do,' she said dully. âI've put this in your mind, and now you have to live with it.' She turned from him. âGod, Tony, I'm so far past
sorry
. . . .'
She curled forward, hands over her mouth. The muffled sound of her keening, Sue's guilt and shame and anguish, blended in the chill night air with the chirr of crickets.
Chapter 3
Stella sat with the accordion folder on the desk in front of her. âI didn't think I'd ever see you again,' she said.
Tony remained standing. It was two o'clock in the afternoon; since he had left Sue two nights before, he had not slept. âI didn't think so, either. But I just kept wondering about this.'
Stella studied his expression with a cool curiosity and, he thought, a touch of compassion. âThey had to dig it out of the basement,' she told him. âBut before you came, I looked at the pictures. They aren't pleasant, and
I
didn't know her.'
âThey wouldn't show us the report, Stella. But I was the one who found her. I can still describe what's in the pictures.'
Stella paused. âNot the ones they took at the morgue, Tony.'
Tony was quiet. âWell,' he said at last, âI'm not seventeen anymore.'
Stella watched him for another moment and then stood, picking up the folder. âThere's an empty office down the hall. I'll make sure no one bothers you.'
Tony followed her through a green-tiled hallway to a room of bureaucratic bleakness, unrelieved by any signs of human habitation. Stella gestured at the metal desk. âTake your time,' she said. âJust come back when you're through.'
Tony turned to her. âI appreciate your help, Stella. Really.'
Her eyes remained puzzled. Nodding, she closed the door behind her.
Tony sat on the hard wooden chair, the folder in front of him.
For some time, he did not touch the folder. When he reached inside at last, his fingers felt clumsy, his stomach hollow.
The manila envelope, Tony knew, contained the photographs.
Inhaling, Tony reached inside. He did not yet look at the photographs. Beneath his fingertips, they were slick to the touch.
Tony spread the photographs in front of him.
âAlison.' He said it softly, without volition.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us now and at the hour of our death . . .
She was as he remembered her. The nightmare did not lie.
The tears in Tony's eyes were those of a seventeen-year-old who had loved her. But they were also of the man, the parent, the criminal lawyer, who understood, as the boy could not have, what a terrible death this had been.
It was the man, now, who pushed the photographs aside.
The autopsy report was several pages long. âThe decedent,' Tony read, âwas a Caucasian female approximately seventeen years old, five feet five inches in height, and weighing one hundred fifteen pounds. . . .'
âI want you,' she whispered
.
âExamination revealed the presence of seminal fluid in the decedent's vagina. . . .'
Alison began to move with him. She was everywhere now: in the clean smell of her skin; the thick softness of her hair; the warmth of her hips and thighs and stomach
.
âThe abrasions to the vaginal wall suggest a prior inexperience of sexual intercourse. . . .'
âI love you, Tony. You feel so good to me.'
âSamples of fluid were taken from the vagina. . . .'
âDid I hurt you?' he asked
.
Swallowing, Tony turned the page.
She raised her face to kiss him, and told him quietly, âI'm glad this was with you.'
âExamination further revealed that the decedent had been anally penetrated. . . .'
Tony froze.
âThe presence of semen in the decedent's anus was noted, and samples of seminal fluid taken. . . .'
âI'm not like that. . . .'
âThe trauma to the decedent's anal tissue, including considerable hemorrhage, suggest that the decedent was forcibly sodomized. . . .'
âI know what Sam likes, better than anyone. . . .'
Tony sat back in his chair.
âThe cause of death,' Tony read, âwas asphyxiation. The decedent had the deep bruises on her neck associated with strangulation, as well as burst vessels in her eyes and face. The medical evidence further suggests that death occurred in the course of forcible anal intercourse, during which the victim was held by the throat.'
Tony stood. He forced his mind to go cold.
Hands on the desk, he stared down at the report. âThe seminal swabs,' he read, âwere preserved on slides. . . .'
Tony placed the folder on Stella's desk. âThank you,' he said.
She looked at him. Quietly, she asked, âDid you find what you wanted?'
He made himself sit down. âThey took semen samples, Stella. From Alison's body. In an unsolved murder, they should have kept them. Is that the procedure here?'
Stella folded her hands in front of her. âYes. It is.'
At four-thirty, Tony stepped into the darkened church of Saint Raphael for the first time in twenty-eight years.
He sat at the rear of the church, as he sometimes had as a boy, half conscious of the airy space, the light and shadow, the stained-glass windows. Father Quinn was long dead; there was no one left who remembered Tony, and he had nowhere else to go.
Head bent, Tony prayed to a God he no longer knew existed.
Faith extinguished, his world upturned, the Tony Lord who had left this church had turned first to a lawyer, then to the law. And under the law, his secular religion, his duties were to Sam alone.
But now the law, and his own life, had intersected once again, and this time the law held no answers.
Humbled by his limitations, shamed by his arrogance, Tony thought of the Calders, of Marcie, of Ernie Nixon and Jenny Travis, of Sue and, piercingly, of the Taylors and their daughter Alison.
Tony could not forgive himself or, devastated by what he might now have learned, forgive Sam Robb. If Sam was guilty, the betrayal was too terrible: justice had not been done in either case, and Tony, damaged by the first, had become responsible for the second.
What he felt now was beyond hatred. Beyond, even, the awesome, bitter knowledge that it was Sam Robb, not Tony himself, who might have defined Tony's life. For two women had died, and there was nothing to say, if Sam was the killer, that there might not be a third.
That was the sin for which Tony Lord would be to blame. The one for which, in his own heart, there could be no absolution from God, no balm within the law.
Mute, Tony prayed for the strength to do what must be done. Then he stood and walked from the church, to find Sam Robb.
Chapter 4
Sue opened the door.
Her lips parted, hand still on the doorknob. âWhere is he?' Tony asked.
Her head twitched toward the stairs. âIn the bedroom.'
Tony paused in the doorway, touching her face. âLeave,' he said softly. âRight now.'
âWhat
is
it?'
âAlison.' Tony brushed past her, turning at the foot of the stairs. âI don't want you here, Sue.'
Sue was pale. âHe has a gun, remember?'
Tony turned from her, walking slowly up the stairs.
He forced himself to take his time, to breathe easily. The ten feet to the bedroom seemed like a great distance.
When Tony reached the door, he held out his hand for a moment, to ensure that it was steady.
He pushed open the door.
Sam stood near the dresser, staring at his face in Sue's mirror. Tony's reflection seemed to startle him.
âTony . . .' His voice held embarrassment, pleasure, wariness. Tony watched these feelings resolve themselves in a smile, which did not change his watchful eyes. âI thought you were gone.'
Softly, Tony closed the door behind him. âI decided to stay. So I could read the autopsy report on Alison.'
Sam blinked. âOn
Alison?
'
âYes.'
Sam took three steps, resting his hands on the double bed between them, head down in a pose of thought. âHave you?'
âRead it?' Pausing, Tony wondered how he could sound so normal. âThat's what I came to tell you, Sam. I think I can prove that I didn't kill her.'
Sam raised his eyes. How many times, Tony thought, had he gazed at this same face, seeing everything but what he should have seen. Perhaps what Sam saw, looking back at him, caused the flush to cross his cheeks like a stain. Softly, Sam asked, âHow can you do that?'
âAlison was raped.' Tony kept his voice as soft as Sam's. âThe strangulation was to keep her quiet. So he could penetrate her anus.'
Silent, Sam's mouth formed a small âo.'
âThey took semen slides, Sam. And murder has no statute of limitations.'
Sam folded his arms. His face was calm, normal; for a moment, despite the tingle of his skin, Tony wondered if he was wrong. âDNA,' Sam murmured. âThey can run tests.'
âIt's a thought.' Tony paused a moment, eyes boring into him. âSuppose Stella would care to help me?'
Sam's gaze at Tony turned narrow, hard. âStella.'
Tony's mouth felt dry. The room was silent now. Neither man moved.
At last Sam said, âYou can't do this, Tony. But I guess you know that.'
Tony felt his throat constrict. âYou've always had strong feelings about loyalty, haven't you. It gives me something to live up to.'
Sam blanched, wordless.
Where, Tony wondered, was the gun? âCat got your tongue?' he asked.
Tears came to Sam's eyes now. His hand rose in entreaty. âYou can't do this, Tony. It wasn't me â'
âOh, I know. You're not like that, are you.'
Sam flushed. âIt was
her
. . . .'
Tony's head pounded. âSue?' he said. âOr Alison?'
Sam stepped forward, clasping Tony's shoulders, staring desperately into his face. â
Listen to me
. . . .'
Alison sat in the love seat on the back porch. When her parents were out, she told him, boys could not come into the house.
Sam watched her face. In the afternoon light, it was strong, yet delicate, the dark eyes pensive, filled with mystery. Only the ankle of one crossed leg, jiggling slightly, showed the tension Sam knew he made her feel, the suppressed desire Tony could not quite touch.
She flicked back the long dark hair. Her fingers were pale, slender. âWe shouldn't do this,' she said.
âDo what?'
âTalk like this.' Alison's gaze was level. âYou're Tony's friend. I'm Sue's.'
âSo?' Sam's palms felt damp. âAll we've done is talk. If I can help you out with Tony, maybe say something . . . I mean, it's no fun for anyone when you two are like this.'
Alison did not look away. There was something challenging about the poise she seemed to share with Tony; sometimes, to Sam, they seemed almost the same person. âThere's nothing much to say,' she answered. âHe wants me, and I'm not sure. When I see how much that hurts him, it hurts me too. . . .' She paused; her slender ankle, Sam saw now, still jiggled with the nervousness she tried so hard to hide. âYou know,' she said in a tone of surprise, âyou're the last person I thought I'd talk to about this. Including my own mother.'
Sam's heart swelled. The weeks of patience, foreign to him, were coming to fruition â the waiting for Alison near her locker, the small encouragements, the gestures of kindness, the offers to help. He was at last learning to be like Tony,' to be a person people
came
to. âYour mother doesn't love Tony,' he told her. âYou do, and I do. The way guys can love other guys, I mean.'
There was a sudden film in Alison's eyes. Softly, she said, âI
do
love him. I'm just scared. . . .'