Silverlight (25 page)

I
awoke gasping and unsettled and not terribly
sure where I was. Chest heaving, I tried to get my bearings.

The stars twinkled overhead in an inky night
sky. The glowing embers of a banked fire muttered and popped nearby. Magnus and
I had made love and gone to sleep. Nothing had changed, yet everything was
different.

A dream. It was only a dream. I’d taken
Silverlight down from Garai’s throne room wall and, for a few dear moments, I’d
cradled her like a baby, relishing my victory.

But then I’d turned to leave and couldn’t move.
Garai enjoyed his own victory by forcing me to watch as he cut the throats of
everyone I loved: Magnus, Tori, Mia, Jarl. My life fell in a shower of blood as
I screamed my agony.

Having Silverlight in my hands was not enough
to save them. The message was clear: I had to choose. Abandon my first sword to
a man I loathed or lose those precious girls. It felt as though I could not
have both.

Magnus rolled over and draped his arm across my
waist; my shoulder pillowed his head. “That was no ordinary nightmare, was it?”

My heart still raced, though my breathing had
slowed. “How did you know?”

“Your last scream raised the hairs on my neck.”
He pressed a kiss to my cheek. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

“We should head home.”

“Is that what you want to do?”

“Yes.” I inhaled. “No.”

“Explain.”

“I will not need Silverlight as Tori and Mia’s
mother, and yet . . .”

“The thought of Garai having that little piece
of you will haunt you for the rest of your life,” Magnus finished for me.

“Exactly. He’s already taken a huge chunk of my
life. I don’t need to let him have my sword too.”

“What’s the problem then?”

“We don’t know what’s waiting for us there.” My
throat burned with unshed tears. “What if he kills you and takes me captive
again? What if he kills us both? Those little girls will watch for two people
who are never coming back. I can’t stand the thought of them waiting and
waiting for a life they’ll never have.”

“I know. Gods, you’re freezing.” Magnus pulled
me against the warmth of his body. “It won’t hurt to head toward Pentorus and
check out the lay of the land. We have time. If you still feel this way after
doing reconnaissance on the castle, we’ll turn around and head back to pick up
the girls.”

“Yes, and then I’ll be a coward.”

“You can’t have it both ways. Why are you doing
this?”

“I don’t know. Do I simply want to prove that
I’m not broken? Or do I truly want my sword?” I sighed. “I’ll tell you this
much – it’s folly of the highest order to taunt the man in his own castle. Yet
I crave the confrontation.”

“Tell me what you want to do then, and we’ll do
it.”

I closed my eyes and blanked my mind. In that
small, quiet moment, I heard the distinctive ring of Jalarthian steel against
an inferior metal.

 Silverlight was calling for me, begging to come
home. I couldn’t abandon her any more than I could have turned my back on those
girls on the mountain.

“Well,” I finally said. “Let’s go to Pentorus
and look things over. I want my sword, but I’m not willing to lose everything
to get it.”

“I agree with that,” he said. “We’ll move out
first thing in the morning.”

T
he sight of Garai’s
castle clinging to the inside of that steep, rocky ravine brought a vague
nausea that no amount of deep breathing could dispel. As I stared at the gray
stones, the turrets, the arrow slits high upon the ramparts, and the wall that
surrounded what little grounds they had on the slope, my mind dragged a few
memories out for me to consider.

The smell of roasting meat wafting from the
kitchen as I slowly starved to death in the aviary. The
click, clack
of
dice thrown onto a stone floor in the hallway, soldiers playing for a warmer
pair of boots or a thicker cloak for winter while I laid bare and shivering.

Boots. The distinctive sound of his boots as he
walked to the aviary to get me for the night. Tap, tap,
slide
, tap, tap,
slide
. Garai dragged his foot, an old battle injury that continued to
haunt him, though he took care not to allow his limp to manifest too much. He
didn’t want his men to think him weak.

It was the only weakness I ever saw in him,
though I couldn’t take advantage of it at the time. Hunger and thirst had
depleted me. I was too beaten down mentally to even think of defending myself.

 When he reached into the cage for me, the
extent of my rebellion was to go completely limp, thus making it more difficult
for him to drag me back to his chambers. Oh, I always paid for my little mutinies,
but I rather welcomed the pain as punishment. I wasn’t trying very hard to
escape. I was a coward, and I deserved every stroke of his lash.

“No,” I mumbled. “No, I
didn’t
deserve
it.”

“Kymber?” Magnus put a hand on my arm. “You’re
shaking.”

“I know. Give me a moment.” I turned away and
hid my face against Lady Gray’s neck.

I was the one who’d wanted to come here.
Silverlight was still singing inside me. Was she worth it? Should I put us both
at risk simply to retrieve her when I had a perfectly good sword strapped
across my back?

Memories whirled inside my head. All those
nights that vile man climbed atop me, all the horrific things he whispered in
my ear as he hurt me. The torture he allowed others to inflict upon me as I
begged for mercy.

How did I survive? Where did I find the strength
to flee? Now I was planning to go back in. On purpose.

The implications of standing within sight of
Garai’s castle hit me so hard I dropped to my knees and vomited.

“That’s it,” Magnus said firmly. “We’re going
home. I know that sword means a lot to you, but not at the expense of your
health. This was a bad idea.”

“Water skin,” I croaked and lifted my hand. I
took a mouthful after he handed it to me then spat it out.

Silverlight. I’d loved that sword. My father had
her made just for me. He was nearly as proud of her as I was. Silverlight had
saved me from certain death more than once. Yes, she was merely metal and bone
but, at one time, an integral part of me.

Sing for me
, I begged silently.
Give me
strength.

I heard her plaintive song then. Would a mother
turn her back on a child? Would a husband turn his back on his wife in her
darkest hour? She was mine. Silverlight belonged in my hands the way I belonged
in Magnus’s arms.

“I have to try,” I said weakly. “Let’s walk
around the back of the castle to the wing where he held me. We should explore
all our options before giving up.”

“Giving up? I consider it self-preservation.”
Magnus knelt beside me. “You asked the question yourself. What if we fail?”

Yes, what if we failed? If both of us died in
the attempt, that was one thing. What if only one of us survived? What if one
had to live without the other?

Despite the horror of that thought, I still
didn’t want to call the rescue mission off. “Will you at least humor me by
accompanying me around the castle?”

He sighed heavily. “Can’t we close the book on
this part of our lives and go home? Raise our children?”

“You may wait here if you like. It’s my book to
close. I want to be sure before I turn back. No regrets.”

Magnus was silent for a moment. “I understand.”
Taking me under the arms, he hoisted me to my feet. “No regrets.”

I
t had burned. Burned
completely. The back wing of the castle was nothing but a blackened shell. The
tiled roof was gone and part of the outer wall had fallen away on both sides.
Blue sky and mountain showed through the empty windows, their edges framed by
soot. I stood and gaped with furrowed brow.

“Is that your doing?” Magnus whispered.

I nodded, blinking. “It must be. Garai and his
men were fighting goblins out front. By the time it was over and they
discovered the back was on fire, there was nothing they could do to save it. I
wonder if the bastard won that battle.” I allowed myself a wry smile. “Who
knows? Perhaps goblins rule Pentorus now.”

“I don’t think so. I don’t see many guards, but
the ones I do see wear the colors of Pentorus. Orange and black, correct?”

“You still have the eyes of an eagle, Tyrix.”

“I don’t see many soldiers.”

“No. If he lost them during the battle, he
clearly hasn’t been able to replace them,” I said.

“Strong men will not follow a weak king.”

“He’s not weak, though.”

“Then why hasn’t he repaired that burnt wing?
The place is a shambles. There are gaps in the stone wall all the way around
where the enemy burst through. They haven’t been fixed either,” Magnus said.

“I don’t have an answer for you. Perhaps he was
injured in the fight. He walked with a limp as it was.”

Magnus shrugged. “Perhaps.”

 I began to feel a sense of hope for the first
time. “Maybe this won’t be as difficult as we think.”

“We need a plan.” Magnus paused then pointed to
the left. “See the villagers milling about the grounds outside with carts,
donkeys, and whatnot? It looks like they’re having a market. We might be able
to slip in with them. We’ll have to pull our hoods up first.”

“Or find an unguarded break in the wall,” I
suggested.

“Possibly. We could do it near dusk, but we’ll
have to hobble the horses and leave them here. We’ll need them later.”

Anticipation poured into my soul like water
into an empty vessel, but I had a few reservations to sort through first.

They were many of the same thoughts I’d had all
along. What if Garai captured us? What would he do with us? I didn’t think he’d
kill me, not if he wanted me back badly enough to send Tariq after me.

No, he might not kill me, but he would
certainly kill Magnus, after a few rounds of torture to prove a point. What
could we do to give us a better chance of survival?

Garai would take our weapons if he caught us.
The bastard loved his chains and shackles and cages. One of us had to be able
to pick a lock. It was something I’d agonized over while trapped here, but Garai
had taken care to keep sharp metal objects out of my hands.

I turned to Magnus. “Do you have a knife or
something you can use to pry two shoe nails apiece from Fitz and Lady Gray?”

“Yes. Why?”

“In case we’re captured.” I smiled at his look
of confusion. “Garai will disarm us. If we hide one shoe nail in the hem of our
tunics and one in the sole of a boot, we’ll both have something we can use to
pick a lock if we have to.”

“That’s not a bad idea, though I think we
should do our best to avoid being caught.”

“I agree, but . . .” I stared up at the looming
gray walls of the castle. “The only advice I’m going to give if he does is
this: fight like your life depends on it, because it does, and never, ever,
ever give up.”