Sin at Sea (10 page)

“Soon, babe,” he assured me.

The torture continued into dinner. The power had definitely shifted. It felt…great. I was working hard to keep it that way, too. This time, instead of playing footsies under the table, rather than run a hand up and down his thigh, I had intentionally moved my chair just out of his reach. He noticed immediately and raised an eyebrow.

Smiling at him, I made small talk with the woman seated next to me. Her husband was engrossed in something on his phone. I didn’t envy him the shock when he received that phone bill. Cellular at sea is not cheap. I once forgot to turn off the data on my cellphone on a cruise, and even though I didn’t make any calls or send any text messages, after five days at sea, I had accrued a $1300 bill. So I made nice with the lonely wife. When I glanced over at Mr. BE, he was making nice with a lonely wife, too.

She was talking to him, then laughing and touching his arm. That was all I needed to see. It was as effective as a punch to the gut. I stood quickly, and mumbled some excuse about why I had to leave immediately. Really, I don’t know what I said. I don’t remember. I wasn’t paying attention when the words escaped my lips. I wasn’t thinking anything other than
I have to get out of here. Right. Now.

There may have been some stumbling involved as I tried to get my chair pushed back and my heel caught on the carpeting. There may have been some tears in my eyes that blurred my vision. I was wearing his dress, his earrings…his ring. I just wanted it off. All of it needed to be off…immediately.

When I reached the elevator, I stomped my foot, completely disgusted with my reaction. What would I do now? I didn’t have a key to his stateroom. I had borrowed his that he left on the vanity when I picked up lunch. I had moved out of the cabin I shared with Jolie. If I went back, I could be interrupting something. Or, worse, I would have to tell her what happened. Two lone tears trickled down my face. Sniffling, I wiped them away as quickly as possible. What had happened? He spoke to another woman, she touched him, and he didn’t do anything about it. Were all men that stupid?

Circling, I watched the elevator lights. “Fuck. How hard is it to get an elevator around here?” Head bent, I began rubbing my temples. So lost in thought, I never heard him coming up behind me. My leg up in our power struggle was completely gone. Just as I circled around once more, I walked right into him. Instead of being relieved, I cried harder.

“Whoa. What’s going on?” He asked concerned.

“Nothing. I’m not feeling well. I just needed some air and space and…and time,” I said as I spoke into his chest. Somehow, I just couldn’t meet his eyes. I couldn’t reveal the hurt and pain I felt. Worse, I felt such shame. Was I really that pathetic, that the first guy who came along and seemed decent evoked immediate feelings from me? It made no sense.

“Come eat dinner,” he urged. “You’ll feel better. I’ll be the most devoted husband ever.”

Shaking my head, I pulled away from him and hugged myself. “Can I get the room key? I just want to go…get changed…”

“What if I don’t give it to you?” He asked, testing me.

“Then I give you back your ring, the earrings, and send the dress back later. I’ll go stay in my own cabin with Jolie.” I raised an eyebrow at him, a visual suggestion that he pause and decide what he was going to do.

Sighing, he started to pass me the card. “Let’s go back to the room. We’ll order room service. I’m starving.” He frowned as he laid his hand on my lower back and directed me toward the open elevator. Only this time, the hand on my lower back felt unwelcome and it was all I could do to not shake him off, shove him away.

A horrible thought occurred to me. This wasn’t about my pride. If it was, I simply would have made every man within 20 feet fall for me, start giving me the eyes. I could do that. I was young, attractive, and wearing a virtually transparent dress. If it were about pride, I’d be making him sorry, making him want me, making him regret that he ever let another woman lay a hand on him…even if it was only his forearm. Alas, this seemed to be about something much more involved, like my heart.

My head was down as we walked onto the elevator. Still, I noticed that he had hit the button for the lido deck instead of the Atlantic. Embarrassed as I was, I didn’t trust myself to speak, to protest, or to object. For now, I would simply go along with whatever he had in mind. So I waited dutifully for him to lay a hand on my back and direct me where he wanted to go. I plodded along as he brought us to the buffet. I watched with fascination as he made me a hot tea.

“This should soothe you some,” he said quietly, “since my hugs aren’t doing the trick tonight.” He passed me the mug and watched my face for a reaction.

“Thank you,” I mumbled quietly. This was such a humbling experience. Really, I didn’t like it one bit. Worse, I couldn’t find a logical reason for my reaction.

“Let’s get food to go,” he said, “unless you want to stay here to eat.”

Looking up at him, I wondered what I saw. Was this his version of contrite? Was he hurting, too? There was a pain in his eyes that I didn’t recognize. “I’m…sorry,” I managed to grit out. “I’m sure I overreacted. Let’s sit here, have a nice quiet dinner, and salvage our night.”

Staring at me for a moment, the pain gradually disappeared and was replaced by hope. He pulled me close, careful to not spill my tea, and kissed my head enthusiastically a few times. “I’m sorry, too,” he said. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to trying to make you a bit jealous.” Glancing around, he seemed to notice that we were drawing more attention than he was comfortable with. He reached out, turned me toward an empty table for two near the windows and once again placed a hand on my lower back.

This time, I felt the warmth and comfort that I usually did. It did more to elevate my spirits than the tea. We sat and he spoke immediately. I watched and waited while sipping the Earl Grey.

“You are so…amazing and beautiful. You drive me absolutely wild. Now, I know we said that this was to be living in the week, in the moment; I guess I managed to get caught up in all of it. Suddenly, it was as though you really were my wife, as though you really were mine. That changed everything. Let’s not forget again. More than that…let’s just treat each other right. No more games. No more competitions”

My eyebrows rose and I blushed some. He was definitely onto me. He might just be my soul mate. Alas, I’d never know. “Sounds good,” I said honestly. For some reason, with him, I had lost my edge. No sense in competing if I wasn’t going to win.

The mug was nearly empty, but my heart was full. We were not only going to salvage the night, but the rest of the week. We weren’t back on track as much as we had found our groove.

With that, we headed to the buffet lines. “I’ll meet you back here,” I said happily. “I have to teach this buffet a lesson.” I winked at him and walked away. Without looking back, I already knew he was staring at my butt through the dress. This time it wasn’t a game. I really did want him to want more.

As we finished up dinner, he looked at me from across the table. “So, do you want to see a show?” He asked. “We could go to the comedy club.”

I shook my head as I stared at him over the salted rim of my margarita. He would hit on the perfect end to our day eventually.

“We could go to the casino and gamble this time? I think I’m finally accustomed to you in that dress. What was I thinking?” He smiled playfully.

“You have excellent taste in dresses. And women. By the way, in case you haven’t figured it out yet, you’ve peaked.” I beamed.

“Peaked?” He looked confused.

“Sadly, you are completely doomed. You will never find another woman like me. You might just as well resign yourself to a life of celibacy now. Forever will I be the measure for all the others.” I bit my lip to keep from laughing.

“Well, then I guess it’s a good thing I married you. Now wife, what would you like to do tonight? I will never understand the complexities of your crafty little mind,” he said, and then bowed in deference.

“Let me show you how I think we should end our night,” I said as I stood. I reached out, offering him my hand, the good one, the one with the ring on it.

His hand, grasped mine for a moment, ran his thumb over my fingers, pausing just under the ring. He smiled. “I chose well,” he said quietly, suddenly more serious than the moment merited.

“The ring is absolutely beautiful,” I admitted, squeezing his hand a little tighter.

Standing, he looked me in the eyes, cupped the side of my face with his free hand and said, “I meant you.” Then he kissed me, gently, sincerely, openly…like a man kisses the woman he loves.

It took my breath away. It made my heart beat wildly. Mostly, I walked around numbly for a bit. When I finally was thinking straight again, we were in the hot tub and he was running a hand up and down my inner thigh.

“Something I said,” he asked innocently before winking at me. “Or, I’d like to believe it was something I did.”

That was pretty much all the inciting I needed. I was going to make him forget, too. He would forget every woman who came before me, every moment that I wasn’t a part of, every dream he had that didn’t include me. Starting now.

Propelling him across the hot tub, I finally noticed that we had the entire Serenity spa to ourselves. Even the towel boy was long gone. There was no one on the deck above us, no movement at all. It was as though we had the entire ship to ourselves and I was determined to make the most of it.

Running my hand up his inner thing like he had done to mine, I watched as he went from relaxed to anticipatory. It only took a second for me to reach under his swim trunks and free him from the mesh lining. He had a semi, but I knew that I could fix that. By now, I had him so well trained that it barely took more than a couple of strokes of my hand for him to be eager and at the ready.

Wrapping my legs around his waist, I leaned back and floated against him. He ran a hand over my pelvic bone and down over my eager wet opening. I think he wanted me to object, to claim some false modesty, but that wasn’t me. Instead, I gave him a brazen look, dared him to do it.

Without even glancing about first, he slipped my bikini bottom aside, lowered the front of his trunks, and quickly slid inside me. I sat up, on his lap and went to work. Never have I been more proud of his daring. The sheer excitement over possibly getting caught thrilled both of us. It didn’t take long for either of us to achieve our orgasm. We quickly adjusted our suits so that no one would ever suspect the passion that had just passed between us.

“I’ve never been this horny before…not even when I was teenager. I swear…I am ready for you the moment you look at me with those lustful eyes he, ”murmured into my ear as he nuzzled me close on his lap. “I don’t understand it.”

Though I might have made suggestions earlier or discussed my suspicions, this time I knew to stay focused. We had mere days left together. “Let’s not question it. Let’s just be.”

“I can live with that,” he said against my neck. Then he chuckled at a joke I didn’t understand.