Sincerely, Carter (30 page)

The second I laid eyes on her, I lost my train of thought.

She was fucking stunning. Dressed in simple jeans and a white T-shirt (one of my small, old T-shirts…), she’d cut her hair to shoulder length and added blond highlights.

“Hi…” She managed, slowly looking me up and down. Her hazel eyes slowly met mine and she forced a smile.

“Hi…”

We stood staring at each other for several seconds—neither of us attempting to shatter the silence. I leaned forward to take her bag from her hands, but she stepped back.

“This is my best friend Carter, Sean.” She tilted her head to the guy who suddenly stepped from behind her, the guy I’d paid absolutely no attention to. “Carter, this is Sean. My boyfriend.”

“Your
what
?”

“My boyfriend.”

“Nice to meet you.” Sean extended his hand to me, and I forced myself to shake it. “Do you mind if you let us in? I really need to lie down. We had a terrible flight, flying back in coach all the way here.”

I opened my door wider, letting them in— keeping my eyes on Ari as she gave Sean a kiss on his cheek. Right in front of me. Right in fucking front of me.

“The bathroom is down that hall and to your left,” she said, smiling at him. “Oh, and I guess these pillows and blankets are for us. You want blue or green?”

“Green.” He kissed her on the cheek and walked away. “I’ll be right back.”

What. The. Fuck…
“Ari…” I walked over to her and she ignored me, unfolding the blankets and setting up the pillows. “Ari…I know you hear me talking to you.”

“I hear you.”

“Is this Sean thing a joke? After all this time, are you playing a prank on me?”

“Why would someone fly from France to America as a joke? He really is my boyfriend.”

“When did that happen?”

“About a month ago.” She looked confused. “Didn’t you get my letter?”

“This one?” I held up the one I’d just received today.

“No…” she said. “There was another one…”

“I would believe that, but you don’t have the best track record with sending me shit. Did you get mine?”

“The one about hoping to see me and hang out again someday? Or, was it the one that said, say something—anything, Ari? Please?”

“No…Not that one. Although, I must say it’s good to know you were actually fucking reading what I wrote.”

“Could you not curse at me like that?” She crossed her arms. “I haven’t been home for five minutes and you’re snapping at me?”

“I’m not snapping at you...I’m trying to figure out how you can literally go to another country for months, stop talking to me for no reason at all, and when you finally come back, not only do you not tell me in advance, but the first time that I see you again, you’re dating someone else.”

“
Someone else
implies that you and I were once dating, that we were in some type of intimate relationship…” She narrowed her eyes at me. “And I had a really good reason for not talking to you.”

“Care to share it?”

“Not particularly. “She looked like she was trying to stay as calm as possible. “We weren’t dating, Carter. We were just friends, remember?”

I felt my blood pressure rising, but I said nothing. Instead I looked her over again—trying to figure out who she was right now. This wasn’t the Arizona I knew at all.

“This is a really nice place, Carter.” Sean walked into the room. “Do you own this?”

“
Yes
.” I kept my eyes on Ari.

Ari’s eyes met mine. “It’s nice that you set up the couch for us.”

“I didn’t. You can sleep in my bed.”

“Really?” Sean smiled, clearly misinterpreting that my offer was only for Ari. “How nice, man. I’ll put our stuff in there later tonight. Is that your room on the right?”

“It is…” I couldn’t believe this shit. The second he walked away to check it out, I glared at Ari. “I need to talk to you
right now
.”

“I don’t think so.” She shrugged. “I’d be more than happy to talk to you over dinner later today, though. I want to take Sean to Gayle’s. I already texted Josh and he’s agreed to meet us there at six. You interested?”

“I need to talk to you
alone
.”

“If I have time while I’m here…” She sat on the couch and fluffed a pillow. “I’ll think about it. Can you hit the light please?”

“
Ari
…”

She stood up and hit the light herself, returning to the couch. “It’s nice seeing you again, Carter. You look really good. Happy.”

“I’m not happy…”

“Well,
I
am.” She gave me a look that said, ‘go away’ and it took everything inside of me not to turn the light back on and pull her up, to make her listen to what I had to say.

To prevent myself from losing my shit, I went into the guest room and slammed the door shut.

Track 29. I Wish You Would (3:44)

I couldn’t breathe.

I was pretty sure I was going to pass out in the middle of this awkward dinner if Sean didn’t lean over and resuscitate me soon.

Four of us—Josh, Sean, Carter and I were sitting at a table in the back, and with the exception of Carter, we were all getting along. We were going over the menu—pointing all of the best things that he had to try, and Carter was glaring at me. Not saying a word.

I couldn’t deny that when I’d first seen him earlier today that my heart had nearly jumped out of my chest in excitement, had almost screamed, “You still love him!” but I’d kept my face stiff and as emotionless as possible.

Even though one touch of his hand had sent my body into a familiar state of overdrive, I was still hurt. Besides, my heart was a fucking idiot.

Sean met all of my spreadsheet specifications perfectly: Smart, witty, subtly stylish, and one hell of a kisser. True, we hadn’t had sex and the thought of doing so had yet to even cross my mind, but I was waiting for my heart to lose all hope of Carter before plowing ahead one hundred percent.

Get your shit together, Heart…The man sitting across from me broke you…Remember that…

“So…” Sean looked confused. “This place only serves breakfast food and dessert?”

“Yeah,” Josh said. “It’s amazing. You can’t go wrong with whatever you try.”

“I’m not much of a breakfast guy…” He flipped the menu. “Not that big a fan of dessert, either.”

“Then why the fuck are you a chef?” Carter muttered under his breath.

Sean didn’t hear it, but Josh threw him a pointed look.

“You have to try this,” I said, clasping his hand. “Trust me, your life will never be the same.”

“Well, when you put it that way…” He leaned over and kissed me. “I’ll get this week’s specialty waffle plate.”

The waitress stepped over at that moment, unknowingly giving us a much needed breather. “Alright, my favorite people…Josh, what are you having?”

“I’m going to try the caramel waffle with peanut butter chips. I’ll also have strawberry syrup with it, unless you all have finally taken my suggestion about creating some that’s weed flavored?””

She hit his head with her notepad and laughed. Then she pointed her pen at Sean. “What about you?”

“I’ll have the specialty waffle plate.”

“What type of syrup?”

“Regular maple will be great.”

“Okay, then.” She folded her pad and tucked it into her apron. “I’ll bring out some more orange juice and some more napkins. Your orders should be ready pretty soon.”

“Wait a minute.” Sean cleared his throat. “You only took two orders. You didn’t get Arizona’s or Carter’s.”

She gave him a blank stare, furrowing her eyebrow. “Good one. I like your sense of humor.” She walked away.

“Okay…” He looked at me, confused. “Is only taking half of the orders per table a local quirk I’m not understanding?”

“No, um…” I smiled. “I used to come here a whole lot with—”

“
Me
,” Carter said, interrupting. “And since we always order the same thing, there’s no need to ask for our order.”

Not catching the rudeness in Carter’s tone, Sean smiled at me.

“So, Sean…” Josh tried to salvage the night. “Tell me about yourself. Where are you from?”

I tuned him out and sipped my water, meeting Carter’s gaze.

I didn’t want to admit it, but he looked even sexier now than he did before I left. His jet black hair was cut a little shorter, his lips—even though they were currently pressed together in an angry line, were making butterflies fly around in my chest at the thought of them reconnecting with mine.

I noticed a new tattoo on his forearm, tucked underneath one of his cypress branches, but I didn’t dare ask what it was. I wasn’t going to ask him anything right now.

Our waitress stepped over to the table again, handing out our orders, and as if she could tell something was wrong with Carter, she didn’t bother smiling in his direction. “Let me know if you all need anything. I’ll be around…”

“Can you all excuse me for a minute?” Sean stood up, phone in hand. “This is my mother. I forgot to tell her I landed, so I need to take this.” He planted a swift kiss on my lips and walked outside.

“So, Josh…” I cut into my waffle. “Are you enjoying—”

“Can you please excuse the two of us for a few seconds, Josh?” Carter glared at me, setting down his knife.

“
Gladly
.” Josh immediately walked away, leaving us alone.

“Carter,” I said, beating him to it. “Look—”

“You honestly think I don’t love you, Ari?”

“What?”

“You heard me.” He raised his voice. “Do you honestly think that I don’t fucking love you?”

“That’s what you said to me before I left, isn’t it? Why wouldn’t I believe it?”

“Because deep down I know you’re smarter than that…” He hissed. “I also know you did not fly all the way here to blow me off and act like you don’t know me.”

“I came to visit and introduce you to Sean.”

“Fuck him.” He growled. “Even if I could buy that you liked him—which, you don’t by the way, you wouldn’t dare introduce him to me so quickly. That’s not your style.”

“People change.”

“We don’t,” he said. “I still know you like the back of my hand. The only thing that’s changed about you since you left is your goddamn hair.”

“In your case, your vocabulary has definitely changed,” I said, crossing my arms. “You’ve never cursed at me like this before.”

“You’ve never caught me off guard like this before.” He took a deep breath and sighed. “Look, we need to talk whenever you get a chance and have a free hour or two that you can get away from your classmate.”

“My boyfriend.”

“Yeah, whatever.” He stood up and pulled out his wallet. “Find the time and text me when you have a moment. Preferably before this weekend.”

“Will you not be sleeping at your house? Won’t I see you and be able to tell you a time in person?”

“No,” he said flatly. “I got a room at Beach Front Hotel down the street.”

“
What
?” I swallowed. “Why?”

“Because first of all, I can’t bear the thought of another guy sleeping with you. Second of all, having you in my house and not being able to touch you…I’m not going to be able to handle that.” He placed a hundred dollar bill on the table. “Call me when you’re ready to talk. Alone.”

He left the diner and Sean returned moments later.

Josh didn’t, though.

“What happened to your friends?” Sean asked.

“Something important came up so they both had to go.”

He shrugged and started to eat his food, and I did my best to smile and act like the conversation with Carter had never happened.

Track 30. Shake It Off (3:18)

Arizona was really testing my patience.

The entire weekend passed without her calling me, and the only thing she texted me was:

Thank you for letting me and Sean stay at your place for the weekend. My mom is throwing a ‘Welcome Back’ dinner for me at her house Tuesday night. She would like you to be there.

I didn’t text back. I just drowned myself in legal assignments until my eyes couldn’t stay open anymore. It was the only thing that prevented me from showing up to her mom’s house and demanding that she listen to me.

“Nonstop seafood, chicken, and waffles made by yours truly, Ari. Be there or else!” Josh announced as he walked into the living room. “Hey, are we going or what?”