Sinful (30 page)

Their gazes locked, making the scene so erotic he could barely hold himself back. This was what he had wanted, this connection, this moment with Jane, when all he could feel was her, hear was her, see was her.

Beautiful Jane looking up at him, loving him in a way that
no woman ever had. Miranda had not loved him when she did this. It had been about dominance and lust. But this…he felt his eyes sting, his vision blur. This was true love. The giving of one soul to another. And he needed this, her soul to fill up the empty place where his had once resided.

“Jane,” he whispered, his voice cracking as he watched her soft lips move along his hardness. “Thank you.” Touching her face, her hair, he allowed the tears to come streaking down his face as he watched her. How he had longed for this, this healing. Miranda was gone now, exorcised from his mind, purged from his body. There was only Jane there with him now, and he cried harder and reached for her, bringing her up to straddle his lap.

He clutched her face, drawing her close to him so he could see her through the tears he had not allowed himself to shed when she had left. They flooded him now, all the pent-up emotions breaking free, like the rushing waters through a dam.

He clutched her face, holding her tight. “Is it really you?” he asked, fear creeping into his voice as he openly wept. “My God, Jane, is it really you in my arms, and not just a dream? I will not awaken and find you were never here. God, please tell me that this is real—”

She fell into his arms, sunk her body onto his. He felt the warmth of her tight quim sinking down onto him and her own warm tears mingling with his. “I am here, Matty,” she whispered. “Oh, please, hold me,” she gasped through her soft cries. “Fill the empty place inside me that has only grown since I left you.”

He clung to her, burying his face in her hair as he forced his hips up, filling her full of him. Joy and ecstasy tore through him and he held her harder, drowning in Jane and the way she covered him.

Their lips met and they kissed, lazy drugging kisses as their bodies spoke the words they could no longer form. When he was close, he turned with her, wanting to feel her beneath him as he poured himself into her.

“Jane,” he whispered, “you have given me my soul back.”

She clutched him tight, her body trembling, and he came in hot, spurting waves into her body, which accepted him without prejudice or reservations, sins and all.

“That night in the gallery, I told you you could not give me the one thing I desired.”

His gaze clouded. “I still cannot.”

She kissed him, and their gazes met as she pulled away from him. “I was wrong. Marriage isn’t the one thing I need.
This
is what I need, Matthew. You here with me. Us in a bed loving each other. Your love that has never wavered for me in the year I took to make up my mind to come back. That’s what I need.”

“Love, passion, monogamy, I can give you all that, Jane. If you will but let me. I can be a husband to you, in every way that truly matters.”

They were on their sides, facing each other. He was tracing her freckles, and Jane purred like a well-fed cat. “I was so wrong to have left you.”

“As bitterly painful as it was, I realize it was what you needed to do in order to come to me without any regrets.”

“I have no regrets, Matthew.”

“You are my wife, Jane. In every way that counts. Constance has my title, but that is all. You…you have everything of worth that I could possibly give to my wife.”

Jane glanced at the plain gold band on her ring finger that he had placed there after their lovemaking. Yes. She had something that Constance would never have, and that was the man
who was Wallingford. The title meant nothing to Jane, it was the man she desired.

“There’s a lovely manor home in Evesham,” he murmured as he caressed her mouth with his fingertip, “with at least five bedrooms, and a fabulous view of the blossom trail. Would you care to go for a ride tomorrow and see it?”

She kissed his hand. “I would love to.”

“It is not a home for me to tuck you away in, Jane, but a home for us, for you and me, Sarah and Edward, and the children I want to give you. I won’t hide you away like a mistress, Jane. You’re not.”

“We won’t be received anywhere proper.”

“I never was before I met you.” His smile softened. “I am no longer alone, or broken, and you’ve done that, Jane. You’ve given me back my life. I have no need for society, only for the people who most matter, Raeburn and Anais, and Lady Blackwood will still be our friends, just as they always have. Jane, don’t you see that what matters to me is your happiness?”

“I am most happy in your arms. I know that now. I just…had the need to make certain that you understand our life cannot be what it would be if we were married.”

“Of course it can, because this is how it would be between us, Jane.”

“I can, and want to live with you, Matthew. Life is too short to worry about such matters. And I knew, as each day went by, that leaving you was a regret I could not live with.”

“You will have no need to worry about Constance. She will not bother us. She’s off to America. And once my father, whom you should know enjoys very good health, is gone, and the title of duke passes to me, I will divorce Constance—”

She pressed a finger to his lips. “I know, my love. Protecting Sarah is important to me, as well. I am satisfied to have your love, and you in my bed. I don’t need to be your duchess.”

“Ah, Jane,” he said, rolling on top of her, “I love you more than I could ever say.”

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she smiled. “I love you, too.”

“Show me this love, then,” he whispered as he lowered his head to kiss her neck.

“My lord, I was hoping that you might take me to meet my son. I am anxious to become his mama.”

His eyes flared wide when she said those words, and she knew immediately how much they meant to him. “He wants to meet you, too, but first, I need you again.”

“Sinful man,” she whispered. “And I would have you no other way.”