Sinful (14 page)

E
VE COULDN
’
T REMEMBER
when she’d enjoyed a day more, even though she’d spent most of it wondering about the night to come. Would Connor want to make love to her? Was she willing to make love to him, even though he wasn’t in love with her? They’d come very close to having sex last night, and all day she’d carried the feeling with her of something important left unfinished.

The children were a welcome distraction, fun and funny, especially during the movie sing-along. She’d been enchanted when Connor, who knew all the words to Brooke’s favorite song, joined in.

By the time the children got fussy, they were already on their way home. She and Connor gave them their baths and put them right to bed. The copy of
Are You My Mother?
had been found, and Eve read that to Brooke, while Connor read
Horton Hears a Who!
to Sawyer.

When Eve left Brooke’s room she found Connor waiting for her in the hallway.

“How about a glass of champagne?” he said.

“I’d like that.” Eve felt a frisson roll down her spine at the suggestion of what more might be in store
on her wedding day: a wedding night. She followed Connor into the kitchen, but he said, “Make yourself comfortable on the couch.”

She was too nervous to sit. She crossed to the fireplace and held out her hands to warm them. Except, she wasn’t the least bit cold. In fact, she felt warm all over. She wanted to be held and loved by Connor. She wanted to hold him and love him back. But she hadn’t forgotten what had happened the first time they’d kissed. She hadn’t forgotten their aborted lovemaking last night. She wondered if they could really get through their wedding night without Molly somehow ending up in bed between them.

Eve was still standing by the flickering fire, which provided the only light in the living room, when Connor held out a flute of champagne. She took it and turned to face him. His hooded eyes gleamed in the firelight, and his lips were full. She felt her heartbeat ratchet up as she recognized the signs of desire.

“To second chances,” he said.

She clinked glasses with him and drank, laughing when the bubbles tickled her nose. Connor’s toast reminded Eve that she didn’t want to make the same mistake again. She had a better chance of getting what she wanted if she reached for it with both hands. If she wanted Connor to make love to her, she had to let him know it.

Before she could say a word, Connor captured her nape and drew her close. His tongue slid along the seam of her mouth seeking entrance, and she opened to him, feeling her blood surge as desire blossomed. Eve smiled as she tasted buttered popcorn and champagne. He still smelled faintly of the woodsy
aftershave he’d put on earlier in the day and another scent that was very male and recognizably Connor.

He broke the kiss to set his glass on the mantel, then took her glass and set it beside his. “All day long I’ve wanted to hold you.” His strong arms closed around her until her breasts were pressed against his muscular chest and her hips were cradled against the length and hardness of him.

Eve had enjoyed sex in the past, but she’d never made love to a man she loved. She’d been curious enough to try sex to see what it was like, and smart enough not to keep having sex just because she could. She’d been waiting for this moment. Waiting for Connor.

She took his hand and said, “Come with me.”

He followed her readily enough, but when they arrived at his bedroom door he stopped. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

There was no way he could know how long she’d been waiting for this moment. She smiled as she said, “I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.” She laughed in surprise when he picked her up, and she held on tight as they entered his bedroom. Connor hadn’t carried her over the threshold when they returned home after their wedding, but transporting her to his bed was equally reminiscent of those long-ago stolen brides brought home by the warriors who’d won them in battle.

When Connor set her down, Eve realized he must have come here to prepare the room while she was dressing Brooke for bed. The covers had been carefully turned down. A pine-scented candle burned on
the chest across from the bed, and a sprig of mountain columbine rested between the pillows.

Eve felt her heart wrench with gratitude. “This is lovely, Connor. Thank you.”

A flush rose under his skin. “I wanted something about this day to be special for you, Eve.”

“I loved my wedding day.” She met his gaze. “And I’m very much looking forward to my wedding night.”

As Connor took her in his arms, she slid her hands into his hair, loving the softness of it. He took his time. Kissing her temples. Kissing her closed eyes. Kissing her cheeks. And finally kissing first one edge of her mouth, and then the other. Eve’s heart was pounding, and her body was tensed in expectation.

He brushed the callused pad of his thumb over her lips, and Eve opened her mouth slightly in response. A moment later, his mouth claimed hers. Their tongues parried as they tasted one another, and Eve’s body came alive as Connor palmed a breast and then teased her nipple into a hard bud. She explored the strength in his shoulders and arms, loving the feel of muscle and sinew under her fingertips.

She could hardly believe where she was, what she was doing, who she was doing it with. She felt a kind of euphoria she could never have imagined, knowing Connor wanted her. At the same time, there was a knot of fear in her belly that something would break the spell, and her dream of happiness with him would end before it had even begun.

“I want to see you,” he rasped.

Connor undid the buttons on her shirt, while she returned the favor. She tugged his shirt out of his jeans
as he did the same for her. His shirt had the sleeves rolled up, so it came off without a problem. She was imprisoned for a few moments by her sleeves, but she held her wrists up, forcing a wobbly smile as he undid the buttons, holding her breath as her shirt slid to the floor.

She’d worn jeans instead of a wedding dress for the ceremony, but Eve had been aware this moment might come. She stood before her new husband in a white demi-cup bra that lifted her breasts up like a delectable feast. A wave of pleasure washed through her when Connor’s eyes lit with desire. He cupped her breasts in both hands and leaned down to kiss the crest of each one before he reached for the snap on her jeans.

White bikini underwear trimmed in feminine lace appeared as her zipper came down. Eve was having trouble catching her breath. Having trouble keeping her heart from beating right out of her chest. She was excited. And terrified.

What if she didn’t please him? What if he compared her to Molly and found her wanting?

Eve stood there trembling, afraid to move forward, unwilling to move back, her jeans caught on her hips, as Connor unbuckled his belt and pulled it through the loops, then reached for the snap on his jeans. The sound his zipper made as it came down sent a shiver of expectation rushing the length of her spine.

Connor chuckled as he stared down at his Levi’s, which had pooled atop his cowboy boots. “Okay. We can do this the hard way or the easy way.”

“What?”

He was laughing as he said, “My jeans aren’t coming off until I get out of these boots. Neither are yours. Any suggestions?”

The humor in his eyes eased the tight knot in her belly and unfroze her limbs. “I vote for the easy way.” She dropped onto the edge of the bed and stuck both feet into the air.

Connor grinned as he pulled off her boots and then her socks. Her boots hit the floor with two thumps, and he tossed her socks after them, then pulled her jeans down her legs, leaving her dressed in nothing but the sexy underwear that had been her only concession to the fact that this was her wedding day.

Eve told herself it was silly to feel self-conscious in front of Connor, but her heart didn’t get the message. She could feel her pulse thrumming wildly in her throat. He couldn’t help but compare her with Molly. To postpone the moment, she jumped up and gave Connor a little shove so he plopped onto the bed, then turned her back to him to pull off each of his boots, dropping them with much louder thumps. She pulled off his socks and threw them over her shoulder as though she were flipping her hair back behind her.

He laughed as she grabbed the legs of his jeans and pulled them off. He was wearing long gray Jockey shorts that fit him like a second skin and left nothing to the imagination. She no longer doubted that he wanted her. The proof was barely constrained by the fabric that covered him. She tried not to stare, but it was a few moments before she raised her gaze to meet his. From the visible pulse in his throat, she realized his heart must be racing as fast as her own.

Connor sobered as he stood and took the few steps to join her. In a low, guttural voice he said, “Just a few more scraps to go,” and released the front clasp on her bra.

Eve didn’t react quickly enough to stop Connor, but she instinctively caught the two halves and held them in place.

He dropped his hands to his sides and raised a questioning brow.

Eve wished she had enough confidence to tease him, to play the femme fatale, but she cared too much what he thought, and she was too aware that she wasn’t Molly. Molly had been short, with small breasts and narrow hips. Her shape was very different.

It took all of Eve’s courage to let go of the bra and allow the straps to slide down her arms. She lowered her gaze, unable to bear the tension of wondering whether she pleased him.

Eve felt Connor’s knuckle under her chin and lifted her head until their eyes met.

“You are so beautiful you take my breath away,” he said in a gruff voice.

Eve felt the knot inside loosening a little more. She laid her hands on his bare chest and said, “You’re beautiful, too.”

He shook his head. “That’s the wrong word for a man.”

She didn’t contradict him, just let him see the admiration in her eyes.

As he reached for her panties, she took a step back and said, “Let me.” Her gaze lowered shyly as she shoved them down over her hips. When they reached
the floor she stepped out of them. Then, and only then, did she meet Connor’s gaze again.

His pupils were huge and dark in his blue eyes, his lips full. She felt her body flooding with the need to be held by him, to be touched by him, to be joined with him, and said in a voice she hardly recognized as her own, “Your turn.”

All his life Connor must have cursed his light skin, which revealed a sudden blush as he stripped off his shorts and kicked them aside. It took her a moment to realize that he was as anxious for her approval as she’d been for his. She tried to smile to show she was satisfied, or to say something to let him know that the sight of his body pleased her. But her mouth wouldn’t move, and her throat was too thick with emotion to speak.

Eve kept her gaze focused on Connor’s face as she took the few steps to reach him. She ran her hands across his chest, reveling in the feel of muscle and bone. “I’ve wanted to touch your naked flesh all day.”

She didn’t know where that low, throaty voice had come from, but she felt Connor’s muscles tense under her fingertips.

His hands circled her waist, urging her closer until they were pressed together body to body. She heard his low growl of satisfaction as she slid her arms around his neck. When she laid her cheek against his powerful chest she could hear his galloping heartbeat, which matched the pace of her own eager heart.

Connor used a fingertip to nudge her chin up so their lips could meet. His tongue searched deep for honey, mimicking the sex act and making her body throb. His hands were both gentle and insistent as
they forayed across her back and up her spine. Without warning he picked her up and carried her to the bed. He reverently laid her down and then joined her there.

Connor held the weight of his body on his arms as he kissed her face, her throat, and finally found her mouth with his. One hand cupped her breast and teased the nipple before sliding down her belly toward the ache below. His mouth replaced his hand on her breast, and Eve found herself arching toward the exquisite pleasure. She bit his shoulder as his fingertips worked their magic on her body.

Eve hadn’t realized what a difference it would make to love the man caressing her. Hadn’t realized how much she would crave his touch. Hadn’t realized the joy she would experience when he made a guttural sound to express his appreciation as she searched out the places on his body that brought him the most pleasure.

“Molly, I—”

Eve froze as Connor spoke her best friend’s name, then shoved at Connor’s shoulders to move him away. “Connor, stop!”

Connor rolled over onto his back and slung an arm across his eyes. He was breathing as heavily as she was, and he was still aroused.

Eve’s throat tightened so it was hard to swallow. She grabbed for the sheet to cover her nakedness, as though she were that first Eve, hiding herself because she’d sinned.

Oh, God. She’d known this would happen! She’d feared this would happen. What did it mean? What
should she do? Ignore it?
Impossible
. Discuss it?
Impossible
.

She heard him swallow noisily before he said, “Eve, I’m sorry.”

She said nothing. She had no idea what to say.

“You’re nothing like Molly,” he said into the silence. “I don’t know why I said her name.”

Eve cringed. His comment made it seem like she was missing something that Molly had. She wanted to run and hide, but where could she go? She was Connor’s wife. This was her home. This was her bed.

“I swear I wasn’t thinking of Molly,” Connor said.

“Except it was her name you said.”

He sighed but said nothing.

Molly would always be a part of their lives, a beloved wife and best friend. Neither of them really wanted her gone. So where did that leave them?

“Maybe you haven’t finished grieving,” Eve said.

Connor said nothing, just continued to lie beside her with his arm covering his eyes.

“Or maybe it isn’t me you really want,” she said into the silence. When he didn’t immediately contradict her she added, “It’s all right if you don’t.”