Sinners & Saints (Sinners & Saints #1) (38 page)

26

HUGO

“Um… okay,” Matt says something in the
midst of silence. “Well this is getting rather depressing so everybody in the
lake!”

           
I’ve
never seen Scarlett hurt before. I wasn’t even expecting her to look hurt, but
she does. Her lips are pressed tightly against each other and her eyes filled
with moist liquid begging to pour out. Scarlett doesn’t cry and I can’t help
but to feel special that she is almost willing to do it for me, but she
shouldn’t waste her tears on me because I won’t waste mine on her along with
everything else I have yet to give. I just want to give it to someone who
doesn’t want me to be toxic, someone who makes me want to be different, better.
That someone is Juliet.
 
Jordana and
Cody drag Juliet away because I suppose they figure we need some alone time to
process what the hell just happened. It’s kind of my way of making things clear
to people. Telling them a secret. A secret that is so painful for me to tell.
I’ve never told anyone about the day I attacked August. It was the last time I
felt like a monster, which is ironic because since that day I have only acted
as one.
 

           
“Well,”
Scarlett manages to speak out. Her voice dry and raspy. “You still manage to
surprise me.”

           
“Myself
included,” I say.

“You have broken my heart, Hugo.” Her
confession takes me by surprise. I don’t know if I should believe it or not.
Her eyes say it’s the truth, but with Scarlett you never know.

I sigh, shaking my head. “Your heart’s
always been broken. I just broke your ego, Scarlett.”

           
“So
that’s it… you’re done with me? After everything we’ve been through?”

           
“With
you it’s either what is best or what is not and you… you are not what is best…
but, then again, that doesn’t matter either. You’re just not what I want.” I
drink the last of my drink and set the glass back down. “I’m going to go now
and I’ll either fail at this whole love thing or I’ll just succeed beyond
expectations. Nevertheless, I suggest you go to your fiancé.”

           
I
walk away. Taking one last look before completely turning my back.
 

JULIET

“Jordana, can we talk?” Margaret
whispers to Jordana. Everyone is preoccupied down the hill near the water so
they don’t take notice. Jordana rolls her eyes at Margaret’s plea but looks at
me to make sure if I’m alright.

“Go,” I tell her.

“Come on,” she says grabbing Margaret’s
arm, taking off. I keep watching everyone take off their tuxes and gowns,
laughing. Some of them even nude. Poppy is definitely nude. Everyone will
probably talk about everything in the morning while nursing their hangovers.
Talk about me and my self-harming. Wonder if I still do it. I must still do it,
yeah? They will all wonder. I just don’t want it getting back to Mum and Dad.
They may be in another country, but you never know knowing these people.
They’ll wonder about Hugo and why he said what he said. They will put it
together. They will see the truth and that truth is… I think… I think Hugo
chose me over Scarlett.
 
He did
something no one knew was possible since knowing him. He denounced her. He told
one of his many sad truths and in his own way let go of her so he could be with
me? God, my heart is beating so fast. I’m so excited and scared at the same
time. I think I’m more scared. I told him I loved him and basically… in his own
way he said he loved me too. I won’t rush the words. You can’t rush someone to
do what they do not know how to. He does not know how to love and all I want to
do is teach him. Show him. Learn more about it with him.

           
I’m
pacing back and forth until I turn around and see him, staring at me with that
love. I stop and I don’t think either one of us can move.

I feel a raindrop. I think I do. It
might just be the night heat making me sweat. Nope, there’s another raindrop.
And another. Rain falls hard and it starts to awaken our bodies. Slowly but
surely we walk to each other, meeting halfway. We hear everyone screaming.
Their running for shelter is all but a blur to me. All I see is him. All I ever
see is him and now finally he’s letting me.

“You knew she would do that.” Finally
speaking, his voice full of so much regret.

           
“I
think I just wanted to see if you would… I guess protect me. Save me.” It hurt.
It hurt like hell. I can’t stop the tears.

           
“I
had to… I wanted to. Needed to, even, because… I need you.” He practically
forces it out.

           
“Well,
who knew you could be the hero type?”

           
“I’ll
probably get bored with you.”

           
“Not
possible.”

           
“I
know I don’t mean that. I just said it. I have a tendency to try to fuck these
things up. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t have one last rude thing to say to
you.” He laughs and so do I.

           
“I
can take it.”

           
“Yeah,
cause you have a strong heart.” He comes forward. “A beautiful, magnificent,
extraordinary heart.”

           
“It’s
yours if you want it.”

           
He
doesn’t say anymore. He just reaches for me, sliding his hand around my neck
and kissing me. Thunder and lightning appear. This might be an omen, but again…
I don’t care. I grab the collar of his tux and inhale the taste of him along
with the rain and his tears. I devour everything. Nothing can be better than
this. We break our lips away from each other, our foreheads pressed together.
I’m trying to catch my breath. The rain is so hard and ferocious like my
heartbeat. He grabs my hand and I quickly pick up my heels. We run through the
soaked grass. It’s so wet I feel my feet getting stuck a couple of times. The
grass is sinking, but I won’t. Not tonight, I won’t.
 

We finally reach a boathouse, as the
thunder and lightning become furious. It’s huge and dark, the only light is the
lightning. The rain hits hard on the windowpane. There are three garages and
open water in each section where the boats are supposed to be.
 

I can’t observe anything else because
Hugo pushes me against the wall by the door. He glances next to us. There’s a
table full of tools and fishing equipment. He swipes his arm across
—
everything just falls to the floor. He
lifts me up, my legs wrapped around his waist. I laugh as he sits me on top of
the table. He hikes up the bottom of my dress to my thighs. Gently he places
his hands on them.

           
“Show
me where you think you are the ugliest and I will show you you’re not,” he
whispers and I’m no longer smiling. I’m only crying.

           
 
“You know already,” I answer.

           
He
takes his hand and slowly slides it between my thighs, pressing it on the left.
I grab his wrist. “Don’t,” I beg.

           
He
sadly smiles at me and moves the wet hair from my face. “It’s amazing how
someone with so much courage could be so frightened by something that isn’t
really that big of a deal.” He rubs his thumb across my cheek. “Half of the
people out there have worse scars than you.”

           
“It’s
not about other people, Hugo. It’s about my parents knowing. It’s about what I
felt when I did it,” I confess. “I felt good and that scares me more than
anything in the world. Feeling good while doing something so horrible.”

           
His
eyes show his understanding. He licks his lips and kisses me gently before
speaking again. “I’m going to kiss you there. I want you to let me.”

           
I
don’t say anything. I just softly nod my head.

           
Slowly,
he lowers himself. He moves the dress up some more. He blows against my thigh
and it tickles, but I can’t laugh. He presses his lips on my bare knee. He
works his way up my thigh and each kiss sends shivers through me. He moves my
dress higher up and opens my legs wider. I gasp in worry and excitement as his
tender lips press the jagged lines on my left inner thigh. I press my hand
against my eyes as I cry. I breathe in and out as he kisses them with so much
love and compassion. Finally, I stop crying as the rain gets louder. I don’t
panic anymore. If there’s a word to describe this feeling, it’s rejuvenation.
The scars are no longer broken. They are healed by his kiss. They don’t even
exist anymore.

I comb my fingers through his wet hair,
holding onto it with one hand and the edge of the table with the other as he
kisses my right thigh. He peers his eyes up at me. The ocean looks beautiful in
this weather. The lightning allows me to see the colors clearly. He slides his
hands up as he watches me. His fingers are at the top of my panties. He starts
to slide them off. I raise up so they can come right off. He’s still watching
me and I’m still watching him. Something different is in his eyes now. Hunger.
My breathing goes rapid. He dives further between my thighs and my eyes
practically go to the back of my head as I feel his tongue start to caress. I
can’t wait any longer. I grab his face and bring him back up to my level.
 
Our arms and tongues wrap around each
other. I moan into his mouth as he slides his hand farther between my thighs.
Foreplay is over. We have been doing foreplay since we met.

I break the kiss and practically rip
his bow tie off of him. My hands move to unbutton his vest and shirt. He leans
in kissing my neck as I feel his bare chest rise. I slide my hand around his
waist and pull him closer against me. He grabs my bottom and slides me further
to the edge. I moan, begging him to just be inside me. I unbutton his pants and
reach in feeling how hard he is. He pulls me closer and positions himself
between my legs. He grips my thigh and holds on tight to my waist. My hands on
his shoulders. My heart almost explodes as he thrusts inside me. I scream at
the fulfillment. My scream matches the sound of thunder and I like that he
wastes no time sinking further and deeper in me. I feel so whole and now I feel
so good as he begins moving inside me. His tongue travels from neck to cleavage.
I gasp every time he dives in and whimper every time he pulls out. I want him
to stay inside me forever. I bend my leg, holding my knee up and move my hips
faster. He kisses my lips, moaning into my mouth as he picks up the pace. I
didn’t think he could go deeper but he does. He grips my ass and I hold onto
the collar of his shirt as he moves faster.
 
The faster he goes, the more I think I’m
going to die from the powerful sensation.

           
I
come. My god, do I come. My entire body trembles to the max and I watch as his
breath quickens, his gasps become heavy, and his beautiful eyes look my way
allowing himself to come. He moans and leans his head into my chest. His hard
breath hits my skin and his lips press against my breast that is covered by my
dress. I comb my fingers through his wet hair and giggle.

“That’s not all, right?” I ask.

           
He
catches his breath, chuckling and stares at me with intense hunger. “Not even
close.”

           
He
looks to the side and sees what seems to be a large dark blue sheet. Probably
for the non-existent boat. He pulls out and I wince, now realizing how sore I’m
going to be tomorrow. He pulls out the sheet, lays it out just enough for our
bodies to lie. My head still against the wall as I watch him take off his
shirt. His chest wet from rain.

           
“Take
off your dress.” I bite my lip and smile. I lift off the table and do what he
commands, pulling my straps down my arms. My dress drops down to my ankles. I
am completely naked. His eyes rake over my body. He stares at me like I am the
face that launched a thousand ships. He kicks off his shoes and removes his
socks. He pulls down his pants along with his underwear. I have to say his
penis is a beautiful one. Like you don’t see many of those, but Hugo Mandrake
has a marvelous looking one. He falls to his knees on the sheet. I meet him
there. I reach for his chest, but he stops me, grabbing my wrist. He takes my
other hand in his and locks our fingers together. He raises our hands together
and we watch as our hands coil.

           
“I
think I’ve realized something,” he says, staring me into my eyes. “I want to
say it to you. I want to say it just once… but I can’t. I don’t think it’s
entirely for the reason you think. I think I need to say it to the one person
who has always been entitled to those words from me. You understand, right?”

           
He
looks worried that I don’t. But I do understand.