Sins and Scars (Sinners Book 1) (23 page)

“Well when I got back from the hospital, I may have had some trouble with my anger.” I set Ruslan on the bed and he rolls over onto his back and then moves towards the top of the pillows. She raises an eyebrow at me, and I shrug. “I knew you weren’t coming back. So my anger got the best of me.”
 

She closes the distance between us and wraps her arms around my waist. “The letter?” She asks quietly. I nod my head and press my forehead to hers.
 

“It tore me in fuckin’ two. I couldn’t fuckin’ think straight, and when I finally got them to bring me back here because I couldn’t sit in the house I bought for you, I flipped. Ended up breaking some furniture and a bottle of Johnny on the wall.” Her eyes widen and she looks up at me.
 

“Stav.” She whispers. Her hand cups my face, and I wish I had her with me all this time. It would have saved me a lot of broken furniture, bones, and bottles.
 

“I want you both to come home with me. I want us to be a family. Me, you and Ruslan.” She gives me a smile and stands on her tippy toes to kiss me.
 

“Home?” she has a mischievous smile on her face and I can’t help but lean down to kiss her again.

“Yeah, home. Where your sexy ass should have been years ago. I hate that I’ve missed out on so much of his life.”
 

She frowns and looks over at him as he closes his eyes on my bed. He’s curled up just like Harlyn used to do when I’d have to go on a run. She would lay herself in the middle of my bed, and fall asleep. When I’d get home, she’d still be in the same spot I left her.

“I know you’ve had Trix and Nikolai getting you information all these years. You’ve known all this time about him. Why didn’t you show up at my doorstep demanding to see your son?” I sit down on the edge of the bed and pull her into my lap.
 

“Because if I would have dragged your ass back here again, I wouldn’t have gotten my girl back, you’d be pissed off at me like last time. Look how well that went last time. You came back kicking, screaming, and hating me. I couldn’t do it again. I wanted you to choose me. I wanted you to choose having a family with me.”

She smiles and puts her head in the crook of my neck. “Stav, I always wanted a family with you. You’re the only one I would ever want to be the father of my child. You weren’t in a good place to be a father, and I knew that. As much as it hurt to push you away, I knew I had to, for his sake. I don’t always know what is running through your head, and I’m terrified that if he did something wrong you might snap. I couldn’t take the chance.”

Running my fingers through her hair, I push it out of her face and crane my neck to look at her face. “I would never hurt him, or you.” My voice is soft and I see her watching me.
 

“You always said that to me, but remember I had the bruises to prove otherwise.” I close my eyes and put my cheek on her head. Blowing out a breath, I think back to the night she’s taking about.

I felt like shit when I left the bruises on her and I hope like hell I never do it again. But then again I can’t control it. I’ve learned to control it a little since she left, but I don’t know how much power I have yet. Nikolai has been working with me since he knew how important it was for me to get her back one day, especially since she was pregnant with my kid.
 

“Harlyn…” I start, but I can’t find the words I want to say to her. She has to know that I never meant to leave a bruise on her body. The only mark I ever wanted to leave on her was my name, my club name, my handprint on her ass cheek, and the hickies
 
I used to leave on her neck.
 

“Stav I know you didn’t mean to, but he won’t understand. I need you to always be aware of your actions, and to not let whatever it is inside of you take over in front of him. He’s a child, and won’t understand.” I nod my head because I don’t even know what to say to her. I want to be the best man I can be for them both, but I’m not sure I always can be.
 

“I’ll always do my best to protect you both and I promise if I’m like that again I won’t come home. I’ll go to the clubhouse instead.” She cups my cheek, and forces me to look into her eyes.

“I love you Stavros. I’ve loved you since the first time I saw you in this place, and I’ll love you until I take my last breath.” Pressing my mouth against hers, I kiss her deeply. Her hand slides down my cheek to my neck and she runs her fingers over the scar that now graces my neck.
 

She follows the length of the scar with her finger and as much as I want to pull away, I don’t. I want her to know the damage that bastard Flint did to me, and I just hope that she accepts it. I have a shit ton of new scars that mark my skin, but I wouldn’t change any of it. I went to the edges of hell to make sure she was protected, and I would do it again if I had the choice. Her life has always been more important than mine, and if I didn’t live through all the torture, we wouldn’t be right here right now, and we wouldn’t have a beautiful son.
 

“Did he hurt you?” my voice isn’t much more than a whisper, but I need to know. Nikolai never told me what exactly happened to her when she wasn’t in the room with me. I watch her expression as she thinks about that time, and her eyes darken before they look back at me.
 

“He tried. He pushed me on a bed, and tried to pull my jeans off of me, but I fought back as much as I could until I kneed him directly in the dick. He fell to the ground and bitched and moaned for a while before they brought me back into the room with you. Someone shot me up with some drug, and they pushed me against the wall where I had to sit and watch them torture you some more. It was the worst time of my life.” A tear falls down her cheek. Using my thumb, I wipe it up and kiss her cheek.
 

“I can’t believe what you had to endure. You went through so much, and there wasn’t anything I could do to save you.” I grab her hand in mine and I run my fingers over the spot that used to have my name written in ink. She looks down at it too, and I see the frown on her face.
 

Flint.

The bulky letters are starting to fade a little, but you can still read his name plain as day. “You never got it covered?” I ask. My fingers gently run over it again, and I wait for her answer.
 

“I thought about it so many times, but could never do it.” I look at her and I can’t get a read on her. Before I can say something to piss her off, she continues. “I didn’t want to forget what happened to us, but I also wanted to wait to talk to you before I did anything. I know you are probably pissed that I still have his name on my skin, but it doesn’t mean anything to me. The only thing that I’ve cared about the last three years was that little boy right there, and figuring out a way to be able to get through what we went through. I watched you die. I felt your last breath, and right then and there, I wanted to die too.” A sob comes from her mouth. She looks over at Ruslan before she looks back at me.
 

“I’m sorry baby.” I murmur kissing the top of her head. She curls her body into mine and I hold her closer to me. Three years of not having Harlyn by my side has sucked, and I’m definitely not a saint, but I know deep down that she is the only one that will ever hold my heart.
 

“I love you so much Stav. It destroyed me. All I could think of was your blood coating my hands. For months, I had dreams of you dead. I had dreams of that asshole Flint standing over your body with your knife dangling in his fingers. I barely slept, and could barely eat. The doctors where worried about me and Ruslan because I was so skinny and tired all the time. Finally Nikolai told me that I was slowly killing myself and our baby.” A tear slips down her face. I reach up and wipe it off of her cheek.

It fuckin’ kills that I’m the reason behind her tears again. I never wanted for us to be like this. I want us to be a family. I will spend the rest of my life making up for all the shit I’ve put her through.

After talking for a few more hours with Harlyn, I finally get her and Ruslan home. I spent the last few weeks buying stuff for him, just hoping that she would finally bring him home, where they both belonged. Once I carry him into the house, I hear my phone go off.
 

Harlyn puts her hand in my pants and grabs my phone, pulling it out, and looking at the screen, she wrinkles her nose and dangles the phone in front of me. “Looks like one of your whores wants a good time from you.” Grabbing the phone from her, I silence the call and grab the back of her neck, pulling her to me.
 

“I only want you.” I whisper before I press my mouth over hers, silencing her from saying anything else. She sighs into my kiss, and kisses me back. When she finally pulls away, I carry Ruslan into his room, and set him on his bed that I put together the other night.
 

“Wow.” She breathes when she takes the room in. “You did all this?” I tuck Ruslan in and walk over to where she’s standing by the door.
 

“Yeah. I was hoping that you’d come back. When Niko said you were ready to talk, I prayed that you’d stay with me. I wanted to make sure everything was perfect for both of you.” Wrapping a hand around her neck, I walk her backwards out of the room and push her up against the wall outside of his bedroom.
 

“Stav.” She whimpers. She doesn’t get a chance to stop me before I pick her up and carry her into our room. The same room I spent so many days and nights worshiping her perfect fucking body. Kissing my way down her neck, I pay special attention to the spot under her ear that drives her insane. Laying her on the bed, I grab her jeans and start to undo them. Her eyes heat up, and she watches me intently.
 

As I slide them down her tone thighs, I place open mouthed kisses all over her flawless skin. Tossing them on the floor behind me, I make my way back up and spread her legs. My tongue slides between her folds a few times before I make my way back up her body. My fingers slide under her shirt and I start to push it up her body.
 

“No panties?” I murmur as I kiss her skin. She starts to squirm under me as I slide her shirt up and over her head. She leans forward and presses her lips against mine.
 

“Not a huge fan of them.” She moans. My fingers slide between her folds and my index finger circles her clit. Grinning against her throat, I press a quick kiss to her skin before pulling away completely. She groans, and I get off the bed. Her naked body is spread across the covers that she picked out all those years ago.
 

“Stavros.” She runs her fingers down her body and I have to bite my cheek to keep from moving over to her. Her eyes roam down my body and stop on my dick trying to break free from the constriction of my jeans. When I don’t give her what she wants, she gets to her knees, and pulls me closer to her by the waist of my jeans.
 

Her hands slip inside, and she brushes her fingers over my dick. He jumps in anticipation and I don’t know how much longer I can wait for her. She starts to undo my jeans and pushes them down my thighs. As she comes back up, I watch as her tongue brushes over my tip before she kisses her way up my body, pulling my shirt off as she goes. She’s doing the same things I was doing to her.
 

Once she has my clothes off, she grabs my shoulder, and pushes me back onto the bed. She straddles my lap and lines herself up with my dick. As she slowly sinks down on me, I lean up on my elbows, and watch her expression as I stretch her pussy. Her mouth opens and her head falls back. Thrusting up into her quickly, I hear her moan. Sitting up, I grab her hips and start to move her slowly up and down my length.
 

Our eyes lock on each other and I get taken right back to the first time. Her long hair tossed over her shoulder. Her eyes watch every move I make. Leaning forward, I capture her mouth with mine, and she starts to move faster. Her tits are fuller than before. I grab them and give them a squeeze. She moans, and grabs the back of my neck to steady herself. “Stav.” She moans louder. “I’m going to come.” Her pants are coming out quicker and I’m about to come, too. It’s been far too long since I’ve had her sweet pussy wrapped around me.
 

She moves her hips in a circle and I reach down to rub her clit. Her fingers dig into my neck and she starts to yell out my name, but I cover her mouth with mine as she rides out her orgasm. Her tits press against my chest and her nails dig deeper into my skin causing me to come right behind her. Before we can even come down from our orgasms I hear Ruslan’s small voice from the door way.
 

Harlyn buries her face into my neck and I can feel her body racking with silent laughter. “Momma?” When she can finally keep a straight face, she turns her head to face our son.
 

“Yeah baby?” My hand is still on her ass and I try not to move much. This kid will get an eyeful if I do.
 

“I baf reem.” I lean her back and grab my shirt of the ground so she can pull it on. Once she has it on, she slowly moves up and off of me, and I groan as I slide out of her. She turns so I’m still covered she hands me my jeans before going over to Ruslan.