Six (5 page)

The vibrating starts and I know my eyes are glowing white, but unlike the night before when it took over my body completely, this time I force it back down. I am unaware of my surroundings. I know Bec and Lana are close by, but they do not interrupt me. This is my inner turmoil that I have to deal with alone. They have already fought their battles.

I stand and say, “No.” It comes out more loudly than I intend it to. I shut my eyes and grab my pants to control my hands. The humming electricity leaves my body and I open my eyes. I know they are blue because I force the dark from my system. My emotions are boiling, but I realize it is okay because they are the tiny parts of me that are still human, still alive.

“There is hope for you yet,” Lana says.

A loud, hearty knock sounds at the door. Walking to stand next to Bec, I ready myself for a visitor or an enemy alike. I am still buzzing with something after controlling my dark side and another emotion is on the border of recognition. There, but just out of reach and so foreign that unless blatantly obvious I would never understand the contents of such a feeling.

Lana opens the door and Finn struts in, commanding the attention of all of us before he has let out a breath. The almost feeling immediately vanishes as I am assaulted by my clenching stomach. He goes to great lengths not to look at me, his eyes darting from Bec to Lana and back. Finn’s face contorts into an angry mask to conceal whatever emotion he is so desperately trying to hide. He closes the door, and then turns to face Lana.

“You’re doing a great job, Lana. The darklings are out there in an uproar because they sense dark magic.” He looks at me, but then jerks his gaze away very quickly, as if he wishes he had not turned his head in the first place. The male’s reactions and gestures perplex me. I know he is pleased with my appearance because of the way his eyes grow larger when he looks at me. He also looks at me with contempt. I silently wonder if all males bewilder in this fashion. Everything about him intrigues me. Frightens me. Makes me want to know and see more.

“She controlled it herself, Finn. How else do you expect her to learn?” Lana takes a step back. I see his presence affecting her. Her breathing is more rapid and her cheeks flush a light crimson color. I look at Bec, who also has the same heated reaction. I step forward to speak because it puzzles me these strong females lose themselves so easily just because of one male.

“My apologies. It will not happen again, Finn.” I smile and decide to try it. I bite my lip, catching the corner in between my teeth. Finn’s eyes widen, his chest stills, and his full, pink lips part slightly. I see Lana’s half grin out of the corner of my eye and know my actions have had the intended effect. Finn balls his fists at his sides a few times and then finally responds without unlocking his fierce gaze from my face.

“I’ll teach her myself, then,” Finn says. Bec coughs loudly and Lana giggles.

“You’ll teach her what?” Lana asks with a hint of humor in her voice.

“I’ll teach her how to survive, Lana.” His tone holds spite as he says her name. He squints his eyes in her direction and closes his mouth. “The dark witches are looking for a darkling two circles over as we speak. Now, do you want to go to the Dark Citadel with them?” He lowers his chin and his eyebrows rise in question as he fixes me with his glare. A lock of his brown hair falls into his eyes. He seems to realize when I do and brushes it back.

“I want to learn how to survive,” I tell the room distractedly. I look at Lana, wanting her to be pleased with my decision. It is my only decision if I want any sort of freedom.

“So you’ll take her in the forest and teach her how to kill savages. Then what? Leave the rest of us here to face a visit from the dark witches alone?” A lump forms in the back of my throat. The dark witches invading this circle is unacceptable.

“Like you’re so defenseless. Really? I’d say you’ve taken quite a liking to your new toy,” Finn scoffs, interlocking his hands behind his head. His lips part again, and I know this is how they look naturally.

“I am not anyone’s toy,” I hiss. “No one will speak about me like I am not around anymore.”

Everyone looks at me after my outburst. They are shocked.

“What?” I ask. I throw my arms out in question. I saw my mother do this all the time. “I am not a toy. I do not want the dark witches to come to this circle, but I do want to learn to defend myself.”

Bec runs a hand through her dark hair. Lana folds her arms across her chest and they both look to Finn. His answer is obvious. I see it in his body language. My show of humanness has worked.

“You heard her, Finn. She’s not a fucking toy. Remember that while you’re
teaching
her.” Lana walks out of the house and the wooden door bounces behind her. I suck in a breath. I have not realized how much comfort her presence gives until she is gone.

Bec turns to me, blocking Finn’s view, and whispers into my ear. “Remember what we said, Emma.” She pulls back and smiles widely. I smile back. As Bec exits she says, “Good luck, Finn.” The door slams and Finn and I are alone. He swallows audibly.

“I’ll need it,” he whispers so low I am sure he did not want me to hear.

He
bites his lip.

Chapter Six

January 11th, Late night

“Try to keep up a little better,” Finn says. He has given me a large pack that contains foodstuffs and substantial weaponry. It is heavy and my body is unused to carrying such things. My body is unused to doing almost everything that is required for my survival in this new world. I try to bury the uneasy feelings about the unknown and the pit in my stomach that comes along with leaving Lana. She assured me that I could trust Finn, so I left with him—into the forest.

“I am unaccustomed to being outdoors,” I tell him honestly. He laughs bitterly, but does not slow down. “I was restricted to my home for many years because of the creatures,” I say. Something in my confession makes him stop.

“How long have you been confined to a house?” He asks, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

“Most of my life.” I have to shout because he is so far ahead. I hope I do not disturb the savages. He turns around and glowers at me. I see comprehension dawn as he walks back.

“No, it can’t be,” he says in a hushed whisper. “There is no way.” He stares at me for many moments and I feel myself heat under his appraisal. The fluttering sensations return to my belly.
Definitely not hunger pangs
, I think to myself.

“What?” My voice is unfamiliar and shaky, though I am hopeful I do not look as flustered as all the other darklings do in Finn’s presence. He does not respond. The uncomfortable silence stretches on. Next, he does something unexpected. He grabs a lock of my hair that rests on my shoulder. He rubs it in between his fingers and looks at it with such fondness that I know for certain he causes me to blush. I clear my throat. Suddenly his face looks sad and wistful, as if he is sifting through a memory from long ago. He drops his hand as if startled by my existence and takes the backpack off my back. He throws it over one shoulder without explaining a thing.

“Come on, then?” he prods. Even through the darkest haze I can see his brownish silver eyes and the weakness that resides there. The male darkling is fond of me.

I smile. The corner of his mouth quirks up, he shuts his eyes, and shakes his head. I walk behind him, stepping in his large ashy footprints, knowing something has changed.

“What are you going to do with me?” I ask out of curiosity after we reach a small campsite in nothingness. Finn laughs heartily. I like his laugh. The fear of the unknown erases a touch when I hear it.

He answers while unpacking a bag. “What I want to do to you and what I’m going to do with you are two different things, darkling. You have to learn to defend yourself against the savages. They are your biggest threat. Assuming you aren’t caught by the dark witches, that is.” A shiver runs up my spine. Even Finn cannot protect me from them. He has just said as much.

“I know they will come for me. Will they be kind like you and the darklings?” Finn gives me a look that cuts like a blade. In the blink of an eye he is looming over me, grabbing my wrist to drag me to a standing position. I wince at the sharp pain that razes up my arm. He is unaware I like pain. It grounds me to my humanness.

“Do not ever mistake me for a kind person. That will be your first and last mistake. Let’s just say the dark witches are even less kind.” He realizes how tightly he is gripping me and lets go. He takes a calculated step backward. In return I step toward him. He holds his breath, his back straightens, his eyes suddenly wary.

I grab his wrist gently. “Fine,” I whisper, urging my voice to take on a newly taught tone. “Will you help me with something?” Finn does not move, does not breathe.

“Depends on what you need help with,” he finally grates. He takes a step in my direction. Now, I step backward. He does it again—then again. My back presses against a black, cold tree. I forget the next step in the acting lessons Bec and Lana taught me. Finn trips me up. I panic. I bite my lip in a last ditch effort to gain some control. He watches my mouth hungrily and greedily.
Savagely
.

“I need my book from my house. Can you help me get it back?” I ask, proud I come up with something I actually need help with. My book is the one thing that connects me to my mother and a life that seems almost dreamlike. The memories have faded, but her high voice lulling me to sleep with the familiar words forces me to remember her face. A heart shaped face, rosy cheeks, and beautifully twinkling light eyes—human eyes, always steadfast, always the same. “I need to remember her,” I say, my voice hitching.

His intense gaze shatters at the mention of my book and my desire to get it back. He backs up a pace and his body heat vanishes. He tilts his head to the side, his eyebrows furrowing. “Why do you want a book? Out of all the things you had, you want a book back?”

“I realize the silliness in wanting a book. It is the only tale I have ever had.”

He pulls a knife out of one of his cargo pockets on his pants. He shakes his head and mutters something quietly to himself. Then he speaks loudly.

“It’s not silly. It’s human. I’m surprised you want for it, that’s all. Here,” he says as he hands me the knife, handle first. The weight of it in my hand shocks me. Even more shocking is that he offers the word human in reference to me, and I like it.

“That it may be. You heard Lana. I can still feel. You should not be surprised.” I test the knife by stabbing it in the air to my side, jabbing as quickly as I am able. He watches with amusement, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

“What do you feel though? If I had to guess, you don’t feel anything more than the occasional blip of fear or anger.” He is right. He smiles widely exposing gleaming teeth. He knows it too.

Lifting the bottom of his shirt up, he raises it to wipe his face. Chest glistening, muscles bulging–I find myself staring.

Lowering his shirt, he finds my gaze glued to his body. He smirks. “You think for one second I bought the seduction act? To be capable of real seduction you need to feel lust and, for the most part, lust is coupled with love.” Finn turns away from me to finish assembling our campsite. He works deftly with his hands assembling a tiny stove that will boil water. Everything about the male darkling fascinates me, stirs something inside me—makes me want more.

“How can I feel lust?” His whole body stills. He does not turn to face me when he speaks.

“You’ll know it when you feel it,” he says. I can tell he is smiling even though I cannot see his face. “It won’t be with me, I can tell you that.” He starts working again, distracting me by merely moving. For the first time, I know I want to feel the sensation he speaks of because it is one I have never felt. Ever.

“Why not? Is it because of the decree with the dark witches?” I ask.

Finn stands in one fluid motion and wipes his hands down the sides of his pants. “Oh, let’s not get it twisted, darkling. There
is
a pact I’ve sworn to that forbids me from bringing darkling children into the world, but nowhere in the fine print does it prohibit me from making you feel lust. I may be a virgin, but I am skilled in every other way possible.” He pauses as he lets his words sink in.

I swallow, and my body begins buzzing with a new sensation. Something that feels like need courses through my body, blossoming in my core as I watch his hooded eyes pierce through me. This new feeling coupled with my magic brings me to my knees. Finn shakes his head subtly in warning. He knows my magic is flaring in response to him. When he is sure I have control, he stalks forward a few more steps. I raise my chin to take in his tall form looming over me. There are a million other places to rest my gaze, but I cannot stop staring at his perfectly sculpted mouth-white teeth peeking out of pink, wet lips. I do not find sense in anything that is happening to my body, nor the feeling of helplessness that he causes. I stop breathing and just wait.

His jaw works and his brown eyes slit. “I choose not to inflict lust on you because if I ever did, I wouldn’t be able to control myself. I’d end up breaking the decree,” he says, voice full of so much more than mere words. Finn now stands so close that his body heat envelops me wholly. It saturates me. It owns me. I have urges I have never had before in my life.