Size Matters (15 page)

CHAPTER
Twenty-five

M
ONDAY MORNING
and Bryn decided to be a bad mom and let her kids watch TV all morning, even though it was gorgeous outside. She curled up in bed with a book, escaping life for a little while. Diving into someone else’s problems seemed like a much better way to spend her morning.

She’d hardly slept the last two nights, unable to get Eli’s words out of her head. She was a horrible person. Why had she been such a bitch? She should have given him another chance in the bedroom. She should have cared less about the sex part. Now all she could think about was losing the one guy who truly cared for her. Mind-blowing sex seemed pretty damn insignificant now.

There was still Troy, but she was beginning to think he wasn’t the right guy for her.

When it was time, she dragged herself out of bed, got ready, and walked the kids next door. Her life might be a mess, but Classy ’n’ Sassy still needed her. At least it was a good distraction.

“How was your day off?” Mia asked when Bryn walked into the shop just after one.

“Scrubbed my entire house. Every last inch is now dirt free.”

“Wow. Was it that bad after the party?”

“No. It was my way of not thinking about Eli and what a shithead I was to him.”

“What happened?”

“He asked why I broke it off. And I told him. All of it.”

“Even the bad oral part?”

“Yep.” Bryn flopped into a rolling office chair. “What the hell is wrong with me?”

“Nothing. You were being honest.”

“But maybe being honest when it will devastate someone just isn’t right.” She closed her eyes. “I think I hate dating. Maybe I should just give up.”

“You still have Troy.”

“He’s a bit too . . .” She searched for the right word. “Sex obsessed.”

“What? You’re describing someone else as sex obsessed? Ain’t that the pot calling the kettle black?”

“I’m not sex obsessed, I’m sex deprived. There’s a difference.”

“Okay. So what did he do to make you think that?”

Bryn relayed what had happened in her kitchen at the party.

Mia rolled her eyes. “How many times over the years did I walk in on you and Johnny, in various places, practically doing it?”

“That was different. We’d been together for a long time and he was my husband. I just met Troy. We haven’t even done it yet.”

“Well, I think you two will be great together. You have a matching level of sexual desire.”

“But he doesn’t seem good with kids.”

“Give the guy a break. He’s never dated a woman with kids before. What else is wrong with him? And while we’re at it, let’s list the things wrong with Eli. You keep finding faults with every guy.”

“Hold on there, sister. You were pretty damn picky yourself before Oliver came along.”

Mia met Bryn’s gaze. She knew she had her.

“Okay. You’re right. I have no solution for you. All I can say is that when the right guy comes along, it will fall into place like it did for me. Nothing about relationships is easy, but you’ll know if it’s right. And if you don’t feel it’s right with Eli or Troy, then move on.”

Problem was, she was starting to think it was right with Eli and she may have screwed it up for good. How do you come back from a conversation like that? It probably wasn’t possible. She owed it to herself to cut Troy some slack and explore whatever this was between them. There were worse things than having a guy fawn all over her, anxious to have sex.

“Before I go,” Mia started, “we have to talk about the food for the fashion show. The caterer needs the final menu by Wednesday. I can’t believe this thing is less than a week away.”

Bryn was happy Mia had changed the topic. She needed to concentrate on something else. “I like the hors d’oeurve buffet idea.”

“Me, too. It’ll be the most cost effective.” She handed Bryn a list from the caterer. “I starred some things that might work. Go through and star what you like and we’ll order whatever we agree on.”

“Sounds good.” She liked having something else to think about, even if it was stuffed mushrooms and antipasto skewers. “Did we ever order the penis and boob cakes?”

“Well . . .” Mia sighed, and Bryn knew what that meant. “It’s a cute idea, but they’re pricey compared to the Italian cookies the caterer can do.”

“I know it’s more expensive, but it’ll really tie in with the show.”

“We have to watch how much money we spend. We’re already way overbudget. If we’re not careful, we could end up exactly where we were six months ago.”

Couldn’t there be one thing in Bryn’s life that didn’t cause her stress? “Okay. Fine.” Last thing she wanted was to be back there, almost having to file for bankruptcy.

“If this show doesn’t boost sales in a big way, it’ll all have been a major waste of money.”

Okay, Debbie Downer, I get it.
“It will be fabulous, and before we know it, we’ll be rolling in dough.”

“I hope so.” Mia grabbed her purse. “I gotta leave early. You okay being here alone?”

“Yeah. No Penny today?”

“No. Her brother picked her up this morning and they’re going to the house to get her stuff while Jack’s at work. She’s gonna stay with her brother for a while.”

“Good. I’ll give her a call later and check in.”

“Okay. See ya tomorrow.”

Bryn sat there in silence, unable to control the thoughts running rampant through her brain. Why couldn’t she silence them?

The chime of the door pulled her from the swirling abyss of her brain. She plastered on her best I-love-people smile and headed into the showroom. But instead of finding a woman in need of bra assistance, she came face-to-face with Joel.

“Oh. Hi. How are you?”

“Where have you been? You never replied to my messages, and when I messaged you again, the site said the user no longer existed. Did you delete your Forever Mate account?”

Shit. Why had she told him the name of the shop? “Yes, I did. I decided I didn’t need it anymore.”

“Then why didn’t you reply and give me your number before you deleted it so I could call or text you?”

Shit! Shit! Shit! This was supposed to end with her never having to hear from him again. Think quick. “I thought you had it already.”

Joel turned his attention away from her and looked around the shop, walking over to a display of men’s lingerie, various items in pleather and lace. He picked up a pair of black briefs, sly smile. “Can I try these on?”

“Um. Sure.” She led him to the men’s fitting room. Maybe he would try it on and go. Leave her alone. Forever.
Yeah. You’re delusional.

The shop phone rang and she ran to get it. “Classy ’n’ Sassy. This is Bryn. How can I help you?”

“Hi! I was wondering about this fashion show you’re doing. Can you tell me about it?”

“Sure!” Bryn dove into her spiel, but as she got to the part about location, she struggled to remember the details. Joel stood in the middle of the shop, in just the pleather briefs. “Um.” She shook away the scene in front of her and tried to concentrate. “The details are on our Web site. Thank you for calling. Hope to see you there.”

She hung up the phone, taking a deep breath before she looked up again.

Joel posed with his curled arms, showing off his biceps. He then switched to another pose, wide grin across his face. “What do you think?”

She should probably choose her words very carefully. “It looks nice.”

“Think I should get it?”

Well, since it didn’t appear that he had left his underwear on underneath, as the sign in the changing room demands, and his sweaty balls were all up in this unpaid garment, yeah, he should pay for it. “Sure.”

He walked closer to the front desk. “Or maybe I should get something else that you haven’t seen me in and I can model it for you tonight. What do you say?”

Hell friggin’ no! She forced a tight smile.

He noticed the fashion show banner above her and pointed to it. “Is that what you were talking about on the phone?”

“Yep.” Why was he still standing in the middle of the shop in just a pair of underwear? She prayed no one would walk in. Or maybe it would be better if someone did. So she wouldn’t have to be alone with Joel any longer.

“And you’re a model in the show?”

Crap. Why had they put that on the banner? “Uh. Yes.”

“Cool. I bet it’ll be a great show.” He flashed a sinister smile and it sent an eerie shiver up her spine. He needed to leave.
Now.

“How about you go change before a customer walks in. You don’t want to be caught like that, do you?”

He shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind.” But he turned and headed toward the dressing room. Thank God.

By the time he came back out, which was an unusual amount of time, Bryn was busy with a bride-to-be looking for some wedding-night lingerie. Joel gave a little wave, then made a phone with his thumb and pinkie, mouthing “Call me.” Which made no sense. She didn’t have his phone number. But she was staring to realize Joel was not exactly sane. Damn Internet dating.

Bryn finished with her customer and checked the men’s fitting room, since Joel hadn’t brought the briefs out. She needed to throw them away. Or burn them. And there they were, laid so nicely on the chair, with a note written on the garment’s tag.

Call me and bring these with you: 555-0898

That was so not happening. She tossed them right into the garbage.

The rest of the afternoon was relatively busy for a Monday, which was good. It kept her mind off the freak show that had been Joel. With the fashion show only days away, that kept her busy, too. Gilles must have called five times, asking about one thing or another.

Almost nine o’clock and Bryn was very ready to close up and go home. The door chime sounded, of course. That always seemed to happen when she worked the late shift. But instead of finding a customer, she found Troy.

“Hey. What are you doing here?”

He leaned in to kiss her cheek. “I worked late and as I drove by I saw you in here, so I stopped. I was hoping to take you out for a late dinner.”

“I can’t. I have to pick up the kids.”

“Can’t they just stay with the babysitter awhile longer?”

“No. Lindsey has had them long enough.”

“That really sucks.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “Kids make it pretty tough to have a normal relationship.”

He’d said it with a little laugh and a smile, but it wasn’t funny.

“Listen . . .” She tried to keep this as frank as possible. “I like you and I think we could maybe have something, but I have kids. They’re part of my package. I know it’s not something you’re used to, but if you want to be with me, you have to accept that and stop pushing them under the rug.”

“I know. I get it. It’s just really hard for me. I keep forgetting about them.”

“Okay. That’s understandable. Do you want to try spending time with me and the kids?”

He breathed deep, an obvious battle going on in his brain. “I guess.”

She supposed that was better than a flat-out no and the end of their relationship. After everything that had happened lately, she felt she owed it to herself to give it all she had. Try to make this thing work. “I’ll call you and we can set something up.”

“Okay.”

He took his hands out of his pockets and closed the gap between them, one to her neck, the other to her waist. He pressed to her and she let her head tilt back, giving him full access to her mouth. And boy, did she like full access. The man may be horrible with kids, but he was a damn fine kisser. It was easy to lose herself in him. And losing herself was exactly what she needed to do.

CHAPTER
Twenty-six

A
FTER A
trip through the drive-through for some caffeine, Bryn pulled into the lot behind the shop. Penny stepped out of her car as Bryn put hers in park. Poor girl. Her hair was pulled into a messy ponytail, and not in a shabby chic kind of way. No makeup. The clothes looked slept in. Bryn left her coffee and purse and stepped out of her minivan to offer her a hug.

“What are you doing here?” Bryn asked.

“I don’t know what else to do.”

“Why didn’t you just stay at your brother’s and veg on his couch?”

She pulled away and wiped her eyes, for what looked like the hundredth time that morning. “I’m not at his place. I’m at home. When we went there yesterday, most of Jack’s stuff was gone. I called him and he said he was moving in with her. He wants to be there for her during her pregnancy.” The last few words came out as a whisper, followed by sobs.

Bryn pulled her back into her arms. “It’s gonna be okay,” she said as she rubbed circles on Penny’s back.

“He was supposed to be helping me during my pregnancy, not that tramp’s.” She sobbed some more and Bryn just held her tight. After a minute she calmed down a bit. “You wanna know what he said? He said he’s excited to be a father. I wanted to throw myself out the fucking window.”

“What an asshole. Worse than that. He’s scum. You need to go home and destroy the rest of his stuff. That’ll make you feel better.”

“I can’t. When I’m there all I think about is him and his happy little fucking family and how miserable I am.”

Bryn was at a complete loss on how to help her friend, so she offered the only thing she could. “Want me to take you out so you can get drunk and have a one-night stand?”

She got a small laugh out of Penny. “I like the get-drunk part.”

“I’ll take it.”

Penny actually let a small grin touch her lips. “You’re such an awesome friend.”

“As soon as the craziness of the fashion show is over, we’re gonna get you laid.”

Penny shook her head and actually laughed, her mood seeming to lift. They grabbed their things from their own vehicles and went into the shop. There were a dozen messages on the machine, all from Gilles. Apparently there was some kind of mix-up with the catwalk rental, and he was freaking out.

Bryn called and tried to soothe him. “I’ll call the company and figure it out, okay?”

“But it was supposed to be here yesterday and it’s not, and I can’t get ahold of anyone there.”

“I know.” He’d said it five times in their three-minute phone conversation. “The owner is a friend of mine from high school. I have his private number.”

That seemed to calm Gilles and his voice lowered a few octaves. “Okay. That makes me feel a little better. Thank you. But can you and Mia stop by this afternoon? I’m having the hardest time picking out the music.”

Crap. She hated to say no. Gilles was so fragile right now, but so was Penny. “Sure. I can stop by later on.”

Bryn kept Penny busy on the computer working on a social media blitz for the fashion show. Then she had her stuffing goodie bags. By the time Mia came in for her turn at the afternoon shift, they had a good amount of fashion show stuff taken care of.

“This is awesome,” Mia said as she peeked inside one of the bags. “I’m kinda sad I don’t get to take one of these home myself.”

The swag bags really were awesome. They’d somehow managed to gather all kinds of samples and coupons from businesses around the city.

“Yeah. I’m real happy with them.” Bryn looked over to Penny. She seemed okay, but every once in a while she’d get a far-off look in her eyes. If no one was there to make her laugh in those moments or give her another task to do, what would happen to her? Bryn tugged Mia’s arm and lowered her voice. “Come to my office real quick.”

Mia followed her there and closed the door behind. “She’s not doing real well, is she?”

“No. Not even remotely.” Bryn relayed the morning’s conversation.

“What a dickhead.” It was rare for Mia to use that kind of language, so she must be really mad.

“And now Gilles is having a meltdown over music. You mind if I run over there?”

“Go ahead. I’ll keep an eye on Penny.”

AFTER FIGHTING
lunch-hour traffic and pulling Gilles off the ledge over which eighties and nineties tunes to choose, Bryn headed back to the shop. But when she got there, a patrol car was parked in the lot. A dozen scenarios crowded her brain as she rushed in the back door.

She made it to the shop floor, her head swiveling so fast trying to see what the problem was she felt a little nauseous from motion sickness. But all she found was Mia on the phone and a few customers in the shop browsing casually. Nothing looked out of the ordinary.

“You okay?” Mia asked after she set the receiver down.

“Do you know there’s a police car in our parking lot? I thought something was wrong.”

“I can’t attest to a problem or not, but I do know there is a certain officer waiting for you in your office.”

Ugh. Eli had been so mad the last time they’d seen each other. Maybe she could leave and he’d never have to know she was there. But that was wrong. Time to put her big girl panties on and face him.

Bryn stepped toward her office. Through the open door she could see the back of Eli, his hair, his broad shoulders, that oh-so-sexy uniform. Why did every little thing turn her on? Deep breath. Just get it over with.

“Hey.” She tried to sound cheerful, like she had completely forgotten the unpleasantness of their last meeting, and closed the door behind her.

He stood, his gaze drilling into hers, his lips a straight line.

Oh shit. Her stomach flip-flopped, fear taking over. Was this how bad horror movie characters felt right before they were stabbed to death?

But instead of turning her into a bloody lump of flesh, he crossed the small room in two steps, put his lips to hers, his hands to her ass and tits. He closed the door with a thud, his body pressing against hers. She’d been caught so off-guard it took her a few seconds to realize what was going on, and to decide if she liked it or not. But as his lips left hers and suckled a path down her neck, she got her answer.
I like this. So. Fucking. Much.

Bryn wound her arms around his neck, her fingertips on his scalp, raking through his hair, pushing his head closer to her. His lips had moved to her breasts, the hem of her shirt now up to her neck, the bra, too. Soft nibbles sent shivers of lust to her core. But she needed those lips back on hers, their tongues dancing, the language of saying so much without uttering a single word.

She tugged at his chin and he stood tall for a moment, staring at her, the hunger in his eyes so strong he looked as if he might attack if he wasn’t satisfied soon. She wrapped her arms around his body, kissing him, her hands searching out the tight muscles in his back and the way they tensed with every movement. But she couldn’t feel them. He was in uniform, which included a bulletproof vest. The more she touched him, unable to feel him, the crazier it made her.

Eli pressed into her even harder, the cool metal of his handcuffs digging into her stomach. She slipped her hand through them, tugging him to her.

She hadn’t even realized his hand was up her skirt until he flicked her clit, sending a spark of pleasure through her body and a moan from her lips, still pressed against his.

“You like that, baby?” he asked, his voice heavy with desire.

“Yes,” she breathed out, unable to say anything else, wishing she could beg him to keep doing it. But she didn’t have to. He rubbed her again and she thought she might explode with orgasm right then and there.

“You’re dripping wet,” he murmured, his kisses back on her neck.

Hearing the words, Eli’s voice hot and moist on her earlobe, she needed him. Now. Pulling at his leather belt, Bryn got it open somehow, even with all the heavenly things happening to her body at that moment. She pushed his pants to the floor, the weight of his firearm aiding her in that, and reached her hand inside his boxer briefs.

Holy fuck. There was nothing small about the cock in her hand. A bit on the short side, maybe, but it felt like she was stroking a beer can. Now it was his turn to moan, and he pressed her even harder into the door, his mouth on hers.

“Fuck me now,” she said against his lips, and he wasted no time. He yanked her panties off so fast she thought she heard the faint sound of ripping fabric.

Still against the door, he lifted her up, fingers pressing into her ass. He pushed into her.
Oh yes.
But the thickness of him would only allow it to go so far. He pulled out, his gaze locked on Bryn’s as he pushed in again. She gasped, gripping on to him, as his eyes fluttered shut. They reopened, his chest heaving, and kissed her again. He started moving, the river of moisture flowing from her easing the motion as jolts of ecstasy vibrated through her body.

How could he have been so insecure? Who the hell had made him think he had a small, inadequate dick? No time to ponder that now. Instead Bryn concentrated on the magnificent things happening to her.

Moving one of his hands to her back, Eli stepped backward away from the door and tried to ease them into the chair, but that didn’t exactly happen. He plopped down, sliding even deeper inside her.
Oh. Fuck. Yes!
Bryn disconnected herself from Eli’s lips only long enough to yank her shirt and bra off, then dove back in for more of his luscious tongue.

She rocked her pelvis in his lap, and hot damn, it really was like riding a bicycle. She found her rhythm, the thickness of him rubbing inside her, stretching her, each thrust sending a wave of pleasure through her body. Did he really not know how awesome he was?

Eli pulled away from her kiss and looked at her, scanning her entire body. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, then yanked her back, his arms wrapped around her as she rocked faster.

Pert nipples raked against the stiff fabric of his vest, heightening the sensation, pulling her closer to the edge.

“That feels so fucking good,” he murmured, his mouth on her ear.

Her arms wound even tighter around his neck, his fingertips digging into her waist. Him inside her, her clit rubbing on him, all of it was so intense. He was close. So was she. Bryn moved faster, pulling away just enough to look in Eli’s eyes. Gone was the insecure sap she’d felt sorry for. All she saw was a man—a fucking hot man—who was currently fulfilling every one of her sexual desires.

Bryn kissed him and ground her pelvis harder, faster.
Yes. That’s it. Almost there.
His grip on her tightened, his body tensed. The knowledge that he was about to get off sent her right over, and together their bodies pulsed with pleasure.

Resting her head on his shoulder, he rubbed her back, their labored breath mirroring one another’s.
That was friggin’ amazing.

She stayed there, waiting for him to say something, because she sure as hell didn’t know what to say. What had this whole thing been? What did it mean? Did she want it to mean something? The questions swirled in her brain and she brushed them away. She just wanted to lie there and enjoy the moment.

“I should probably go.”

What? Bryn pulled back, the chill of her office surrounding her. “Did I do something wrong?”

He reached a hand to cup her cheek and smiled. “No, ma’am. Not at all.”

“Then why are you in such a hurry to get out of here?”

“Well, for one thing, we’re in your office . . . naked. And I kinda have to get back to work.”

“Oh.” The answer didn’t make her feel much better. Had he only come there for a quick fuck?

“But I’ll call you later.”

The obligatory postsex promise. She forced a smile and nodded. He helped her climb off of him, his entire pelvic region covered in a mix of her juices and his semen.

“Wow. You’re a mess. I think I have some baby wipes in my desk.”

She found them in the middle drawer and handed him a few, pulling some for herself, too. After a quick cleanup, they both redressed. As Bryn smoothed her shirt, she wondered what was next. A “Hey, thanks for the amazing fuck?” She risked a glance at Eli, who was buckling his belt and making sure his holster was in its proper place.

He smiled as he stepped to her, her lungs suddenly not working properly, and took her hand. He brought it to his mouth and kissed her palm, placing it on his chest. “I love you, Bryn.”

Her heart stopped, then started beating like a hummingbird on acid. Her bottom jaw fell open. Had he really said what she thought he had?

“We’ll talk later, okay?”

All she could do was nod. He kissed her lightly and let go of her hand. The door opened and he was gone, leaving her there with no explanation for what had just happened.