Size Matters (6 page)

CHAPTER
Ten

P
ENNY. I
need you and your computer skills,” Bryn said when she walked into Classy ’n’ Sassy Monday morning.

“Yeah? Got some new promo ideas for the shop?”

“Oh, I’ve got ideas. But it’s promo for me and my vagina.”

Penny sputtered. “What?”

“I want to try online dating and you know how to work the Internet better than me.”

“Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

“So ready.” Bryn hung up her purse in the closet. “I did my hair and makeup and made sure to wear something cute so you can take a sexy picture for my profile.”

“What about Eli?”

Bryn waved her hand. “He’s old news. I’m ready to move on. What do I do first?”

“I can set you up on Forever Mate. It’s one of the best ones out there, I’m told.”

“Perfect.”

Penny brought up the site and they entered Bryn’s basic information for the profile. “Now you need to pick a user name.”

“Just use my name.”

“No. You don’t use your real name. Pick something cute like Looking4love.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t sound desperate or anything. Can’t we do something normal? Like LingerieGirl.”

“That’s gonna attract all the wrong guys.”

Bryn didn’t think this was going to be so damn hard. “I don’t care. Just make something up.”

Penny thought for a minute. “How about SassyLady? ‘Sassy’ for your part of the shop and ‘Lady’ so you still sound elegant.”

“I like it.”

“Good. Now we need to enter all your likes and dislikes.”

“I like great sex. Can we put that on there?”

“I’m thinking that’s not a good idea. I mean, there are Web sites for that, but you’re not gonna find love there.”

Fabulous string-free sex sounded heavenly.

“Or a man without a slew of sexually transmitted diseases,” Penny added.

Oh yeah. She needed to think about that kind of thing.

“I was referring to hobbies and such.”

“I don’t know. Dancing, karaoke, cheeseburgers. You know me. Just fill it in.”

Penny shook her head and laughed as she tapped away at the keyboard. “How about dislikes?”

“That’s easy. I detest insecure men.”

“I’m thinking there’s a story there.”

“You have no idea. I’m so sick of Eli’s penis insecurities. I need a man who’s confident about his abilities, small dick or not.”

“Good to know.” Penny typed away. “Now I need to know what kind of man you’re looking for. Like age and stuff.”

“I guess thirty to forty. Good physique. Can I say that?”

“Yeah, there’s a drop-down box for body shape. How about height?”

“A little taller than me, even with heels, so at least five ten. But no taller than, like, six three. I don’t want a giant.”

Penny looked up from the screen. “You do realize that’s only a five-inch spread.”

“Oh. I should probably be a little more open than that, huh? Okay, go five nine to six four.”

Penny rolled her eyes and giggled. “Okay, boss.” She clicked a few more things, typed a couple of more times, and looked up. “Almost done. Just need a photo.”

Penny grabbed her cell phone and Bryn posed against the hot pink wall behind her, the signature shade for Classy ’n’ Sassy.

After a few moments, Penny had the photo uploaded and Bryn’s profile was ready. “One click of the mouse and it goes live. Are you sure you wanna do this?”

“Yes.” And she really did. She was so ready to get out there.

“Okay.” Penny clicked the mouse and the live profile came onto the screen. A little envelope icon blinked in the corner. “You already have a message.”

“Yay! Open it.”

Penny clicked. It was just a welcome message, but Bryn was giddy. She had never done anything like this in her life. It was pretty damn exciting.

“Thank you,” she said, and hugged her friend. “So how are you? I feel like we haven’t talked in forever.”

“Ugh. Same crap. I’m still not pregnant. It’s frustrating.”

Bryn had never had that issue. All she’d had to do was think about getting pregnant, and, bam! Positive pregnancy test. “How long has it been?”

“Eight months. Which doesn’t sound long, but trust me, when you’re having sex every other day for that many months, it gets really automatic. Insert tab A into slot B. We just want to get pregnant so we can stop having sex for a while. We’re both getting chafed.”

Bryn couldn’t help but laugh. She’d never heard of anyone complaining about having so much sex before. “It’ll happen.”

“I’m getting nervous, though. I want to get checked out, but Jack says we don’t need to.”

“I think doctors want you to try for at least a year before they do any fertility testing.”

“Yeah, that’s what I read. I was gonna lie and say we’ve already been trying for that long.”

Bryn put her arm around Penny and squeezed. “Don’t stress about it, okay? And try to enjoy the sex. For me. Please.” Bryn stood and grabbed one of the new cock rings they’d just gotten in, then handed it over. “Take this home. I need a review on it.”

A smile played at the corner of Penny’s lips. “Okay. If you insist.”

“I do.”

If she couldn’t have great sex at the moment, at least Bryn could encourage others to go and have fabulous orgasms.

BRYN WALKED
into her parents’ house, no sight of anyone. Thank God. Though it was only her mother she’d hoped to avoid. Laughter drifted toward her from the back of the house. She headed that way and found her dad in the yard with the kids.

“Mom!” Zach ran over and hugged her.

“Hey, guys. What are you doing out here with Grandpa?” she asked, examining all sorts of paint and brushes and wood scraps on the picnic table.

“We made birdhouses!” Cammie chirped. “See?” She held up her creation.

“Wow. That’s awesome. Can we take them home, or is Grandpa hanging them here?”

“You can take them,” her dad answered, and stood, turning to the kids. “Why don’t you guys go wash your hands?”

They trotted off and Bryn was alone with her dad. She had a feeling he’d done that on purpose.

“Your mother went to the store. Can we talk?”

Crap. It was rare that her father engaged in deep conversation with her, and she had a pretty good idea what this one was going to be about. “Sure.”

“I don’t like the way you two argue.”

“I don’t particularly enjoy it, but I can’t keep my mouth shut anymore. She’s wrong.”

“You have to understand where she’s coming from. She’s thinking of you and the kids. You can’t parade a bunch of men through their lives.”

That was a sure way to get Bryn’s blood pressure to rise. “I would never do that. Do you and Mom think so little of me as a parent that you think I’d push my kids aside for some . . . some male attention?”

“No. That’s not what I meant. She’s just worried, and I am, too. We love you and want what’s best for you.”

Breathe. Calm yourself down.
“What’s best for me and the kids is making our family complete again.”

“I know that.” He pulled her toward the chair and made her sit. “And I think that’s best, too.”

“You do?”

“Yes. I want you to be happy. Your mother does, too. But she doesn’t quite understand that part of you being happy again is finding a man to share your life with.”

“I loved Johnny and I’m not trying to replace him, but I miss being a complete family. I miss having a husband. It took me a long time to understand that.”

“After all you’ve been through, you deserve to find peace.”

Wow. She hadn’t expected all this when she’d walked into the backyard. “Thank you.”

“So, can you please try not to yell at your mother? She’ll come around. You just have to give her time. And in the meantime, I’ll work on getting her to back off.”

“Okay. But if she starts lecturing me again, I make no promises.”

“Deal.” He smiled at her and she got a flash of the man she’d looked up to as a little girl.

“I better go.” Bryn stood. “I have to work on getting a sitter for Saturday night.”

“I’m sorry about that. If you can’t find anyone, let me know. I’ll figure something out.”

They gathered the kids’ birdhouses and headed for home. After a quick trip to the supermarket, Bryn pulled into her driveway just in time to see her neighbor’s teenage daughter being dropped off by her boyfriend—rusty Trans Am, hair spiked in all directions. It was almost comical. He kissed her and she looked as if she were being attacked by a blowfish. Such a cute, clean-cut girl. Bryn didn’t see the attraction.

The girl finally tore herself away from all the sucking and Spiky Boy headed for his ride.

“Hey, Lindsey,” Bryn yelled, and waved.

“Oh! Hi, Mrs. Harper. I didn’t even see you there.”

Of course not. She was too busy getting tongued. “Do you ever babysit?”

“Sometimes. It’s not my favorite thing, though.”

“Oh. I was hoping you could watch my kids on Saturday.”

“I love your kids. No problem.”

“Really? Thank you!” Bryn wanted to run up and hug her. “You’re such a huge help.”

“No prob. Doing something fun?”

Bryn’s cheeks warmed. She wasn’t hiding the fact that she was dating, but she wasn’t yelling it to the neighbors, either. They’d adored Johnny and had all been so helpful and supportive after he’d died. “Just dinner with friends.”

“Aw. I was hoping it was a hot date.”

Bryn let out a fake giggle. “Yeah. Maybe someday.” Change of subject. “You think you’ll be okay watching three kids?”

“Sure. I babysit the Fleischmans’ dogs all the time.”

Bryn winced. Not a very good comparison. “Do you want to do a trial run? Maybe come over for an hour or so tonight?”

“Sure. What time?”

Bryn looked at her cell phone. It was already almost six. “Is eight good?”

“Perfect. See ya then.”

Bryn turned and walked up her front steps, immediately bombarded by all three children with requests for snacks claiming they were
staaarrrvvving
.

“No snacks, I’m making dinner right now. Go play.” She shooed them away and headed to the kitchen, pulling out a bag of frozen french fries and a box of chicken nuggets. It wasn’t the healthiest meal, but it was quick when the kids were complaining. And guiltily, she liked them, too.

The phone rang as she dumped the crunchy-coated nuggets onto a baking sheet. “Hey, Mia. What’s up?”

“Did you seriously have Penny make you an online dating profile?”

“Yeah. And?”

“I’m hooking you up with Troy in a few days.”

“Who knows what will happen with him. I need a backup plan. I’m not getting any younger, you know.”

“Do you know how many perverts there are online?” Miss Paranoid reporting for duty.

“I’ll be fine. We picked one of the top-rated dating sites.” Bryn sprinkled some salt over the fries and popped both trays into the oven. “So everything at the shop is good?”

“Yeah. Kind of boring. Anything exciting going on over there?”

“Right now I’m cooking a dinner with zero nutritional value that my kids will adore. But after that, I’m testing out a sitter for an hour.”

“Are you going somewhere?”

“No. I think I might just lock myself in my bedroom with a glass of wine and a book.”

“That sounds like a complete waste of a babysitter.”

“Says the woman with no kids. And besides, who am I gonna go out with? Are you gonna peel yourself away from Oliver for an hour to hang out with me?”

“I don’t know. I might.”

“He’s got plans tonight, doesn’t he?”

“Sorta. He has work to do from home. But I would have gone out with you anyway.”

“You’re such a bullshitter.”

“I’m sorry,” Mia replied with a laugh. “It’s payback for all those times you ditched me for Johnny.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Bryn loved how they could still joke with each other effortlessly after all these years. “So we’re on for tonight? Want to meet at The Red Brick at around eight fifteen?”

“I’m supposed to stay at the shop till nine, but I can see if Penny minds closing up.”

“Okay. See ya then.”

Bryn served the fries and crispy nuggets for the kids and made a plate for herself. She may be thirty four, but she wasn’t too old to enjoy the craptastic feast. Especially when she had a bottle of the good barbecue sauce in the fridge.

An hour later she was in her foyer running through the list of house rules for Lindsey.

“And one last thing,” she added, looking to her feet, the wall, anywhere but Lindsey’s face. She felt kind of bad making this request. She’d babysat a million times as a teen, and Johnny always came over to sit with her. “No, uh, boys in the house. I mean, like, teen boys.”

But Lindsey just smiled. “Gotcha, Mrs. Harper. And no worries. Stinger is at work anyway. He’s got the late shift at Loco Taco.”

Note to self: avoid Loco Taco. “Great. I guess I’ll see you in a little while.” She leaned to the side to look past Lindsey to the kids. “Guys, behave. If I hear one bad report, you’re all grounded for the weekend.”

“What?”

“No fair!”

When Bryn walked into The Red Brick Inn, it took a second for her eyes to adjust to the dimness. But it looked exactly the same as it always had—exposed brick walls with various neon beer logos illuminating them, dark mahogany bar, stools that wobbled when you sat. No sign of Mia, though. Bryn headed toward the bar, but felt a hand on her arm.

“Bryn. Hey.” Thor smiled at her. “How’s it going?”

She smiled back. “I’m good. You?”

Thor, also known as Theodore Rublinski, had been a football buddy and good friend of Johnny’s. He shrugged. “Same shit, different day.”

The six-foot-five ex-linebacker had once been on the road to the NFL, but a career-ending knee injury his junior year of college had forced him back home to Kenville for a day job teaching phys ed and a nighttime gig as a bouncer at The Red Brick Inn, a downtown bar they’d all frequented since before they were legal.

“Little League’s starting up soon,” she said. At least he still got his football fix coaching the peewee kids. “That should bring some excitement back into the humdrum adult life.”

“Yeah. But I moved up to JV at the high school this year. They needed a defensive coordinator and I jumped on it. Someday I’d love to coach the varsity team. Be to those kids what Coach Gordon was for me.”