Size Matters (9 page)

CHAPTER
Fourteen

T
HE DOORBELL
rang as Bryn was in the middle of loading the dishwasher. Wondering who it could be, she wiped her hands on a towel and went to see. It was Lindsey from next door. “Hi. What are you doing here?”

Her brows crinkled together. “I’m here to babysit.”

“Oh shit. Come in.”

“Did you forget? You just called me this morning.” She giggled in a way only a sixteen-year-old could.

“I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. Sorry.” If she hadn’t come over, Bryn probably would have forgotten all about the coffee date with Joel.

“No biggie.”

Bryn left Lindsey as she walked toward the den, and the second she stepped in, the kids jumped up and ran over, throwing their arms around her. “Lindsey!”

After changing quickly and running a brush through her hair, Bryn kissed the kids and headed out, driving into the city to one of the cute little coffee shops downtown. She went in and looked around. Joel said he’d be wearing a blue T-shirt and she’d seen his picture, so she sort of knew what he looked like, but, damn, this was harder than she thought it’d be. She felt so stupid standing there like an idiot.

“Bryn?”

The voice came from her left and she turned toward it, instantly matching the face to the photo. And yowza. That man should wear blue 24-7. It made his eyes pop.

“Joel? Hi.” She held out her hand and he shook it. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.” He smiled at her. “You’re much prettier than your picture.”

Her cheeks warmed. “Thank you.”

“I found a quiet seat in the back. Can I get you something to drink?”

“That’d be nice.” They approached the counter and she ordered her usual caramel latte. She liked the sweet stuff.

He paid before she could get her wallet out. Not necessary, but it was nice to be treated with such chivalry. “So, how do you like this online dating thing?” he asked when they sat at the table.

“It’s my first time doing it and you’re the first guy I’ve talked to. I had one other message but he seemed . . .” What was the nicest way to put this? “. . . not my type.”

Joel laughed. “Yeah. There are a lot of crazies out there. I’ve gotten quite a few messages, but you’re the first woman who seemed like a good fit for me.” He sipped his coffee. “When did dating get so complicated?”

“I have no clue. I’ve been out of the dating world for about thirteen years. Actually, now that I think about it, I’ve never actually been in it. I met my husband when I was a teenager. We were the typical high school sweethearts.”

“Oh yeah? Your profile listed you as widowed. I didn’t want to ask, so don’t feel obligated to talk about him.”

“It’s okay. He’s part of me, and any guy I meet is going to have to know about him.” She told him a little about Johnny, how tough it had been at first after he died. Joel seemed to understand and was sympathetic.

“I have a cousin who lost her husband in Iraq. It took her a while, too, but she’s getting married in a few months.”

“Good for her. There’s hope for me yet.”

They talked about her kids and their families. He told her about his camping adventures and the woman he almost married. It was one of those awesome first-date conversations that she’d wished could go on through the night. But it was nearing ten o’clock.

“I really should get home.”

“Yeah, me, too. It’s supposed to be nice in the morning, but rain in the afternoon. I need to get as many lawns mowed as I can before the skies open up.”

“Must be tough trying to make a living while battling the elements.”

“Well, on the upside, rain makes the grass healthier and grow faster, therefore needing more mowing.”

“And more mowing means more money, I suppose.”

He nodded. “Bingo.”

“Gotta love job security.”

“At least for this summer, anyway.”

Bryn liked his humor. She liked his manners. She liked the way he listened and the way he spoke—he was smart without being pretentious. Obviously he was a hard worker. No one starts a landscaping business without good work ethic.

And the body. She’d definitely noticed how tight it looked under that blue tee and nicely fitting jeans. Lifting lawn maintenance equipment all day sure did a body good. The eyes, the smile, the hair. Oh yes. Joel was turning out to be quite the Internet catch.

“Can I see you again?” he asked as they set their empty cups on the counter.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Maybe dinner this time?”

“Perfect.”

“Great. I’ll message you and we’ll figure out a day.”

He held the door for her and she stepped out into the warm summer night, a light breeze blowing. “Good night.”

The way he said it, so soft and sensual, it sounded seductive. Her libido immediately flashed her a photo of them in bed, his voice in her ears. Such a lovely picture.

“Good night.”

Bryn headed toward her van parked in the lot on the side of the café and he headed in the opposite direction. Was this what good dating felt like? If it was, then sign her up for more. No drama, no insecurities. He seemed to be everything she was looking for. She hoped that too-good-to-be-true thing didn’t apply here.

ONE WONDERFUL
thing about having a babysitter come to the house was the joy of having the children asleep when Bryn got home. No bedtime rituals to worry about, no kids whining to stay up later. It was worth every penny she handed over to Lindsey.

After a shower and with a glass of wine in hand, Bryn booted up the computer and got right into her account on the dating Web site. The little heart in the corner blinked at her. A new message! It could be another great guy wanting to meet her. Bryn opened her in-box.

“Oh,” she said out loud, not expecting the message to be from Joel. It had barely been an hour since she’d left him. The tiny butterflies in her belly did a few laps.

I couldn’t wait any longer before messaging you and setting up a date. I really enjoyed meeting you. You’re a breath of fresh air for me. It’s been a long time since I’ve enjoyed talking with a woman like that. When can I see you again? Please tell me I don’t have to wait too long.

Joel

Reading that made the butterflies do a few hundred more laps at a million miles an hour. Was this really happening? Bryn’s hands shook as she hit the reply button. But what should she say? This was so much harder than she thought it would be.

Hi. I had a really great time tonight, too. I can’t give you an exact date right now, though. I have to check with my sitter. Is a weeknight okay?

Should she say something else? No. That sounded good. She typed her name and hit send. Now she could go drool over Joel’s photos.

She barely even got a glimpse when she heard a
ding
! Her instant messenger box popped up.

OutdoorGuy34:
Hi. A weeknight is fine with me.

SassyLady:
Good. I’ll let you know as soon as I can what nights work for me.

She hit send, hoping he wanted to keep chatting.

OutdoorGuy34:
I wish it could be tomorrow. I can’t stop thinking about you.

Oh, this guy was completely swoon-worthy. Bryn felt like a kid again. It had been a long time since she’d been so giddy about a boy.

SassyLady:
Me neither. Is it crazy that I feel a major connection so soon?

Bryn hit send before she really gave it much thought. As she stared at her message, she wondered if she’d gone too far.

OutdoorGuy34:
Not crazy. I feel it, too. I don’t know how I got so lucky. My first time doing online dating and I hit the jackpot. Humor, brains, beauty. I’m pretty damn happy right now.

SassyLady:
I know what you mean. I never expected this online thing to go so well.

This had to be some crazy beginner’s luck on both their parts. Bryn waited for his next message, impatience growing as her eyes stayed glued to the screen. She chugged some wine. That helped.

Ding!

OutdoorGuy34:
I can’t stop staring at your photo. You’re gorgeous. How the hell did you have three kids and still have such an amazing body?

SassyLady:
Good genes, I guess.

OutdoorGuy34:
Oh yes. Those were some very good jeans. Ha ha.

Well, if they were going to start complimenting bodies, she could get in on that action, too.

SassyLady:
You’re not too shabby yourself. All the hard work you do every day shows. I could see some nice muscles under that T-shirt.

OutdoorGut34:
Thanks. The job definitely helps me stay in shape.

Bryn loved how easily they chatted. She felt as if she’d known him far longer than a few hours and a few emails.

Her computer dinged again.

OutdoorGuy34:
I’m gonna go out on a limb here, since I feel like we’re on the same page. Stop me if we’re not.

That message made her heartbeat quicken. But she wasn’t sure if it was for a good reason or bad. She chugged some more wine as she waited for him to continue.

OutdoorGuy34:
What are you wearing right now?

Shit. Was he trying to cybersex her? That was a whole new thing for Bryn. Yeah, she and Johnny had done a few video chats while he was away that got pretty racy. And a couple of times they’d had some phone sex. But this was different. She barely knew this guy.

But she liked him. And maybe she might want to sext with him at a later time. Trying to keep it upbeat, she typed her message.

SassyLady:
I think maybe we should save that for when we know each other a little better. LOL.

OutdoorGuy34:
No worries. I had to try. This connection is so strong that I guess I feel like we’ve already been seeing each other for a long time. I really like you.

This was awesome. He felt it, too. Maybe a tiny description of her pajamas wasn’t too big of a deal.

CHAPTER
Fifteen

M
MM. SLEEPING
in always felt so wonderful. Bryn enjoyed the pleasure of waking slowly, and recalled her computer time with Joel. It had been a sweet little conversation that had left her delightfully horny, but without the raging libido. She went to bed with pleasant dreams, not needing to pull out one of her toys.

“Give me that!”

“No! It’s mine.”

“Ahhh!”

“Mommy!”

So much for serenity. It may be her day off, but there never was a day off from motherhood. When she got to the kitchen, Cammie was in tears and Zach looked possessed; both their hands were on the stethoscope from the toy doctor’s kit, yanking it back and forth.

“That’s enough.” Bryn took it away. “Now no one gets it.”

“Look what you did!” Zach yelled.

“Hey. That is not how we speak to each other. Go sit on the chair until I tell you to get up.”

He stomped away and Bryn caught Cammie sticking her tongue out as he passed by.

“And we don’t do that, either. You go sit on the other chair.”

“But, Mom—”

“I don’t want to hear it. If you don’t start treating each other with respect, you’re gonna spend a lot of your time being punished.”

“She started it,” Zach mumbled.

“Enough. Not another word. Or you’ll sit there longer.”

They glared at each other from across the kitchen table, but stayed quiet. Ugh. So much for her pleasant start to the day.

Bryn fetched the mail and found a box outside her door. She sliced it open, filled to the brim with miniature lubes and individually wrapped Day-Glo condoms—favors for the fashion show. She must have accidentally used her home address instead of the shop address when she ordered them.

She needed to run some errands with the kids anyway, so she may as well drop them off at the shop. After an hour of begging the kids to get dressed and brush their teeth, and bribing them with an afternoon at the park, they finally made it out the door.

“Aunt Mia!” Cammie ran up to her the second they stepped into the shop and wrapped her little arms around her. “I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“I know. We’ll have a playdate soon, okay?”

“Come to the park with us.”

“I can’t. I have to work so your mommy doesn’t have to.” She smiled at Bryn. “How’s it going?”

“Okay.” Then she remembered her coffee date from the night before. “Good, actually.”

She turned to the kids. “Why don’t you guys go play in the break room? Just for a few minutes.”

“There are doughnut holes in there,” Mia added, and all three kids ran toward the back of the shop.

“I went out last night for coffee with the Internet guy.”

“What about Troy?”

“I’m still gonna meet him, but Joel was so amazing.”

“You didn’t sleep with him, did you?”

“No! What kind of woman do you think I am?”

“One who’s desperately horny.”

“Yes, but I do have a brain, even if it’s overruled by my vagina at times.” Bryn leaned in a little closer. “We chatted last night online and it got a little steamy.”

“You were computer sexing him?”

“No, not really. I just met the guy. I wait at least a week before I start that.” She stuck out her tongue. “But seriously though, this guy seems perfect.”

“Do I need to remind you of the lecture you gave me about ‘no man is ever perfect’? There has to be something wrong with him. Oliver leaves socks everywhere. Like, every day. I find them shoved in the couch cushions. It’s so annoying.”

“If Joel’s worst issue is dirty socks, I think I can deal.”

“Well, I hope you’re still excited for Saturday. Troy is anxious to meet you. Oliver’s been talking you up for a week.”

“Aww. What a sweetie. You really did hit the boyfriend jackpot. And speaking of, since his penis-cloning days are over, we need to find a replacement.”

“I know. And obviously, I am off the hook for finding a new guy.”

“I might be ready to tackle that chore this time.”

“Uh, yeah. It’s a blast.” The monotone of her voice made Bryn laugh.

The kids came back into the showroom. “We’re bored,” said Cammie and Zach together. Jaxson just kind of stood there, eyes darting around the shop. It’s not like he’d never been there before, but maybe he was seeing it differently now that he was getting older. Might be a good idea to get him out of there.

“After the fashion show we’ll talk about replacing Oliver. Maybe I’ll be braver than you and actually test them out the right way.” She was still a little pissed her BFF had lied to her about not properly evaluating the models the first time around. Lowering her voice to a whisper, she told Mia, “I think I’d be up for no-strings sex with some hot guys.”

“Okay. We’ll just see what happens when it’s your turn.”

Bryn noticed a new catalogue on the counter, this one with various whips and handcuffs and such. She flipped through. Maybe someday they’d venture into BDSM gear.

“Uh . . . Bryn?”

She replied without looking away from the catalogue. “Yeah?”

“You might want to check out your son.”

She turned and there was Jaxson, fondling the crotch of a lacy teddy. “Oh, God.” Deep breath. “Jax, Zach, Cammie. Let’s go!”

Jax jumped and ran to her and the other kids trotted behind.

“Can we go to the park now?”

“Yes. Everyone say good-bye to Aunt Mia.”

The kids waved as Bryn ushered them out the door. Note to self: no longer bring kids to the shop. When had her life gotten so damn complicated? Bryn was ready to put the brakes on. She couldn’t handle much more. Was it a faux pas to stop at the liquor store on her way to the park?

BRYN HAD
barely put the van in park before the kids were out and running to the playground. She grabbed her cell phone and a book and set her sights on the bench under a nice big tree across from the twirly slide. But as she crossed the playground, someone else beat her to it.

“Aw man.” She stopped midstep and looked around for another bench, but snapped her head back. The guy looked familiar. Oh no. But it was too late. Eli had already seen her. He gave a half smile and a little wave. Damn, that was cute.

No. She wasn’t supposed to think that. And now she had no choice but to go say hello.

Bryn walked over and sat down, looking out at the playground. Cool, calm, and collected. “Hey. How’s it going?”

“Good. Did you get my message?”

“I did. It should be a fun party. I’m glad you can make it. I mean the kids. That the kids can make it.”
Awkward. Just shut up now.
“That you and the kids can make it.”

She tried not to look over, but she could see his smirk out of the corner of her eye. And she couldn’t contain her own. So she turned to meet his gaze. “I’m glad that after everything that’s happened between us, you still want to come to the party.”

“My kids love your kids. I would never make them stay away.”

“Thank you. I appreciate it.”

They sat quiet, watching their kids run to and fro. The children really adored each other, and if Bryn was honest with herself, she’d admit she adored Eli’s kids, too. Seeing them now, she realized just how much she’d missed them.

It was a gorgeous summer day. If it had been any other guy in any other circumstance, she would feel so good just sitting and chilling out while the kids played. But this was the guy she was trying to forget. Despite how cute he looked in that T-shirt and shorts. And the baseball cap. God, she was a sucker for a guy in a baseball cap.

“So,” he started. “I hear we have somewhat of a budding romance on our hands.”

“Yeah. I was kinda shocked by that. Aren’t they too young for that stuff?”

“I guess. But there’s nothing wrong with a harmless crush.” He forced a laugh. “For a minute there I thought they’d be brother and sister, not boyfriend and girlfriend.”

Whoa. She knew he’d been in a different place about their relationship than she was, but wow. Why was he thinking marriage already? She felt kinda bad. He’d wanted more with her and she just wasn’t in that place. She might have been able to get there, eventually, but too much had happened between them.

And why bring it up? Was he trying to lay a guilt trip on her? It was all too upsetting and awkward and she needed to get away.

Bryn stood and threw her bag over her shoulder. “I should get going. I’ll see ya later.” She started for the swings where Jax and Amelia were.

“Bryn, wait.” Eli caught up to her. “I’m sorry if I said something wrong. I was just being honest.”

She forced a smile and used her fake cheery voice. “I know. It’s okay. I’ll see you at the party.”

Bryn gathered her kids as they whined about leaving the park. She bribed them with an afternoon at the movie theater, popcorn and all. She needed to get away from Eli, and if a bribe worked, so be it.

Why was he messing with her head like this? She didn’t need this right now. And the last thing she deserved was a guilt trip. She wanted to get married again—make her family complete—but she wasn’t ready to do that yet. She thought she’d be dating someone for a long time before that happened. Between the weird self-consciousness and this awkward conversation, she needed to distance herself from Eli. Forget about him.

ELI SANK
back down on the park bench. Shit. Bryn couldn’t get away fast enough. Why had he opened his big mouth? He kept scaring her away instead of bringing her closer. Truth was, he missed her. He wanted her back in his life, back where they were before the sex part had ruined it. Why did he have to be so damn idiotic?

The text alert on his phone sounded and he pulled it out. A message from Michelle, the woman he had tentative plans with for the following night.

Hello! Is seven good for our date? I should be done delivering all my cakes by then. Let me know!

She was a wedding cake baker, never married, no kids. She was a little on the young side at twenty-eight, but his partner at work had set them up. Friend of his wife’s or something. Eli wasn’t much into setups, but he needed a distraction.

He texted her back saying he’d pick her up at seven. There. Maybe now he’d stop thinking about Bryn.