Sketch (15 page)

“You got the giggles?” I ask as I smile, continuing to brush my teeth.

She giggles again, nodding. “We look like an old married couple. I’m washing my face; you’re brushing your teeth. I don’t think we’ve ever used this vanity together besides the first month we bought the house.” She’s wheezing she’s laughing so hard.

“We are totally not an old married couple.” I spit out my toothpaste and wipe my mouth off with a towel.

I notice her eyes are taking in my bare chest and abdomen. Used to be I would sleep in pants and a shirt. Now it’s just pants for me, even on cold night. The extra muscle I’ve put on has helped to insulate my body, and I’m usually just fine. “See something you like?” I ask, meeting her eyes in the mirror.

She wipes off her skin and turns to face me. “I can’t get over how cut you are. When you dedicate yourself to something, you really dedicate it, don’t you?”

My face is red, but this time it’s not embarrassment. It’s pride she’s noticed how hard I’ve worked. “I do. At first I wanted you to look at me and be like, ‘What did I give away?’ Ya know, after I realized how much I liked working out, but then I started to see changes, and I was like, damn, maybe I can look nice.”

She walks towards me, moving her hands to my waist. “You definitely do look nice. I’ve always loved you though, no matter how you looked. It didn’t matter to me that you’d put on some weight, I liked you just as much then. What I didn’t like was how we were treating each other.”

I lean in and claim her mouth with mine. Sometimes I love the words she says; other times, it brings up things I’d rather forget. I crush her mouth to mine, plunging my tongue into the recesses. She answers back, digging her fingers into the skin at my ribs, letting me take her weight as we stumble and my back hits the bathroom wall.

“I don’t want this to be crazy,” I murmur as we break apart, each trying to calm our breathing. “For once I want us to take our time.”

She nods, her eyes somber. We both realize we’ve reached a point here. It’s not a breaking point, but it’s a point where we have to figure out where we’re going to go. We can’t just keep dating one another, we’re married. Nina fists the shirt she wears in her hands and pulls it off her body. My eyes immediately go to the hardware in her nipples. “How are they?”

“Good. I wish they were healed so that I could feel your mouth on them,” she admits, pushing against me.

“I want that too, but a few more weeks. Don’t want them to get infected. That,” I grab her by the chin and force her to meet my eyes, “is not sexy at all.”

She laughs. “I bet not.”

I tilt her head with my hand on her chin and take possession of her mouth. It feels like it’s been ages since we’ve been together, but I know it’s not been that long. I’m fucking addicted to her. Addicted in a way I’ve never been before. I think about her all the time, and I want her with me. I want to make this work, and I’m afraid if we don’t make it work it will decimate me. Saying those words aloud aren’t an option, so I keep them locked away in the recesses of my brain where those insecurities we don’t want to tell other people about hide. I hope that these insecurities never rise to the surface.

My tongue is dueling with hers, not leaving one part of her mouth untouched. She nips on my lip as she pulls back to dig her fingers into my hair. I’m there with her, nipping right back, chasing her lips. With a motion I’m not sure how we pull off, she loops her arms around my neck and I bend with my knees, grasping her by the ass, pulling her legs up around my waist.

I want to take her in our bed. I’ve waited to be ready for this, ready to make sure that we both realize what this means. I know what it means to me, and I truly believe it means something to her. She’s pulled away from me again, and our eyes are clashing. There’s desire there, but there’s also a love I haven’t seen mirrored in a long time. It’s enough to make my knees weak, but I lock them as I walk us over the bed. Carefully, I set her there and widen her thighs with my hips.

“I don’t want to remember the last time we were here,” she says softly, but it’s loud in the silence of the room.

“I don’t either.”

But I do. I remember the last time we’d tried to do this before she left. It had been awkward, nothing about it had been sexy, and she cried afterwards while I asked myself what in the fuck I’d done to ruin my marriage. I remember asking myself when I’d become that guy whose wife cried after sex.

This time is going to be different. I will pull my groin making sure this is good for the both of us.

SKETCH

I
’ve covered her
body with mine, enjoying the rub of every inch of my skin against every inch of hers. Our tongues are tangling in a dance we’ve never forgotten, her fingers are digging into my hips as I grind myself into her. We’re naked. Clothes were taken off a long time ago, but I still haven’t entered her and she hasn’t made the move to put me inside her. I’m worshiping her and she’s worshiping me.

My hands are on her neck, and I can feel the kick of her pulse, the slowing down and the accelerating as I do something she likes. Pulling back, I push one arm up over her head and trap some of her hair between my fingers. Her lips are red and plumped, looking almost like they did the other day when she sucked my cock, but this is strictly from my kisses, it’s strictly from my attention to the small things.

I feel her hand sneak in between our bodies, and I feel her wrap her fingers around my cock. It’s hard, and it’s thick; we’ve been making out like teenagers for the better part of an hour. I’m worried that two strokes and this going to be over.

“Sketch, I want you.” She smears her lips down my neck, sucking at my pulse point before she moves her lips up to my ear. Her teeth nip at the earring I wear there. The metal warms from the heat of her mouth, and I shiver as she twirls her tongue there. I jump in her hand, and I grind my back teeth together, hoping this isn’t over before it begins.

“I want you too. God, I want you, but I don’t want it to be this out of control thing we’ve been doing,” I tell her again.

“I don’t either.” She shakes her head against me. “Take me slow.” She removes her hands from me and wraps them around my back.

I shift my hips against hers and gently thrust myself inside of her. It’s not the plunge home that I’ve been doing lately. It’s soft, it’s almost lazy, but that doesn’t mask the intensity. This is probably the most intense thing we’ve done. My eyes meet hers as I withdraw and push back in. Slowly, so fucking slowly, I inch back in and her mouth opens as she inhales deeply. This slow I can feel every grip of her heat, I can feel every inch as she takes me deep, and I wonder if that’s what it’s like for her. “Talk to me, sweetheart. How does it feel?” I ask, burying my mouth in her neck.

“So big,” she moans. “God, you feel so big this way, like you fucking own me. You’re branding me as you claim every inch of me.” She clamps down on me, and I dig my teeth into her flesh.

“You have to let me move, let me move,” I beg her.

She releases her grip, and I start my grind again. It’s thorough and slow, making sure I hit every hot spot she has. Our eyes meet again and it’s so intimate. I feel like I’m totally bare against her, that she sees every part of my soul, and I want to withdraw, but I know that gets us nowhere. For us to move past everything we’ve done to each other, we have to open ourselves up, so I face her head on. I give her my eyes, I give her my love, and I give her my truth.

“I love you.” I crush her body into mine and move my mouth to her ear as I plunge in and out of her. “I thought I was going to fucking die when you left me; I thought my life was over. Never in a million years did I think I’d have you back here, in my bed, making love to you again.” I want to stop this shit coming out of my mouth, but I can’t. It’s like the gates have opened, and I want her to know it all. “Please work this shit out with me. I love you and I want you in my life. I want us to be happy. I want us to never give up on one another.”

She digs her fingers into my shoulders, hanging on as I thrust into her. Now she’s meeting each thrust, moaning every time I bump her clit. “I’m not going anywhere, Devin. I love you too.” Those words sound like they’re ripped from her throat.

I thrust hard and deep one more time, and my orgasm surprises me, riding up my spine, spilling deep inside of her. My arms straighten out over her head, my fists grip the sheets, and my teeth clench as I grind my cock into her, meeting her eyes as I pour myself into her body. Heart and soul and everything else.

Me getting there must get her there too. As I feel her clench against me, I feel the bite of her fingernails, and I glimpse her O face. All of that before I hear her breathe deeply against me, I hear the softly mumbled “Devin” before she drops her legs from around my waist.

I roll to my side, bringing her with me, pushing her hair out of her eyes before I wipe the sweat out of mine.

“We’re going to be okay, aren’t we?” she asks long after I thought she was asleep.

I tighten my arms around her, not exactly sure what’s transpired in this room, but I know it’s been earth-shattering for the both of us. “We’re going to be okay,” I tell her.

I’m careful not to say we aren’t going to be perfect, because that’s not us, and that’s not something I can promise. We still have a ways to go, but I feel like we’re getting there. I feel like we’re closer than we’ve ever been.

SKETCH

R
eaper is back
under my needle, and I’m laughing at something he’s telling me about his son when I hear my phone go off at my side. I normally don’t have it on when Reaper’s on my table, but for some reason, today, I felt the need to keep it on. I take a glance at it and see Nina’s name. Usually I would leave it alone, but I decide I need to at least glance at it.

“That message is from Nina. You mind if I check it?” I ask him as I stop the needle and question him. I don’t want to be rude, and he’s one of my best clients, but Nina didn’t know he was sitting for me today.

“Sure, go for it. Hope everything’s okay.”

I do too, but my heart is pounding as I take off my gloves and check the message she’s left me.

I passed out at work. I think I’m fine. I’ve felt bad today, and they won’t let me drive myself home. Can you come pick me up?

Immediately I’m scared, worried, and panicked. There are a lot of scenarios that run through my head, and none of them are good. She says she’s fine, but I need to know that, I need to see that for myself. It’s not something I can take her word for.

I turn back around, and Reaper must see the look on my face. “Everything okay?” he asks.

“Nina passed out at work. She says she’s fine, but I’m not sure I’ll believe that until I see her. I need to go pick her up.”

“Nah, man, go. I’ll get River to clean me up, and I’ll make an appointment with Jackie to finish this up. You go. I get it.”

I’ve never run out on a client before, ever, no matter what’s happened. I feel weird doing it, but everyone is pushing me out the door, not giving me time to analyze what’s going on. I don’t even remember getting in my truck, but I know I’m on my way to the Montessori School. I pull into the parking lot and slam the truck in park, hopping out. I’m at a dead run as I enter the school and wait patiently for someone at the information desk to appear.

When she does, I don’t even wait for the woman to ask me what I need. “My wife, Nina Solomon, called me to come get her.”

“She’s in the nurse’s office,” she tells me, picking up the phone. “If you go wait right over there, I’ll call her and see if you can go down there.”

I walk over to the wall and lean back against it, waiting. I don’t wait well, but I realize I have to do what they asked of me. It will do no one any good if I get in the way.

“Devin?” A woman who wears a stethoscope and looks like a nurse walks towards me.

I step forward, relieved and scared at the same time. “That’s me.”

“C’mon back with me.”

This woman looks like she’s a year or two younger than me, and it doesn’t necessarily make me feel better. I wait until we get out in the hallway, walking towards I assume the nurse’s office. “How is she?”

“She’s okay. She said she hadn’t felt good most of the day. I suspect she has a sinus infection. Sometimes that can clog up the ears and give the sufferer a bout of vertigo.”

Finally, I can relax, and I feel my heart start beating at a normal rhythm again.

“We can’t release her unless we know you’ll be with her. I called her family doctor, and he’s calling in a prescription for her. She’ll be off work the next few days.”

I nod. It’s time for me to take care of her; it’s time for me to put my wants to the side and take care of her needs.

SKETCH

“Y
ou can take
me to my apartment,” she tells me as she notices that we’ve pulled into the driveway at the house.

“No way, I’m not leaving you by yourself. You need someone to check on you, and to be honest, I need to be with you. I think I lost five years off my life when I got that text from you.” I reach over and grab her hand.

I’m careful because her head seems to be too heavy for her shoulders. We go into the house and she’s quiet. I want to know what she’s thinking, but I’m trying very hard not to pressure her; I don’t want her to think she’s got confide in me. Of course I want to know what she’s thinking, but this seems like it’s a private thing she’s trying to work through.

“I really should go home,” she tells me. “I have things I have to do tonight. I have no time to be sick.”

I mentally count, telling myself she’s been through something here and she’s probably freaking out a little on the inside, and it’s coming out as the words she’s saying. “You’re sick, and this is your home, Nina.”

I put some steel in my voice to let her know that I’m here, and she has me to hang onto. Her head snaps up, and I see a look on her face I wasn’t expecting. She’s panicking, she looks hurt.