Smother (8 page)

She dropped her hand and sucked in a sharp breath when she became aware that her limbs were trembling. Reese felt faint, as though she’d unconsciously participated in a great battle and lost. The scene had been minutes long, and yet all the air was gone from the room, leaving confusion in the man’s departure.

“Who the hell was that and what just happened?”

Mouth pressed into a thin line, Leo grabbed the appointment book from the front desk and took it to his. He sat down with it. “No one and nothing.”

Reese watched him take the phone from the wall and listened in shock as he started cancelling appointments. The words that left his mouth were even and polite, but visually everything about him screamed peril. All that muscle, coiled and restrained. All those emotions, hidden behind cool gray eyes.

She stalked over to him. “What are you doing?”

“This doesn’t concern you.”

“I’m here, so it does.”

“Go home.” He didn’t look up as he muttered it, as if his words alone had the power to command her.

She grabbed the phone from his hand and ended the phone call. “Tell me what’s going on. Now.” Reese was being ballsy, but that’s what she tended to gravitate toward when she was overwhelmed by something.

Leo stood, his body almost touching hers as he did so. The room was hot with his turbulent mood. His expression hinted at something as he stared down at her, but she couldn’t make out what. It wasn’t one distinct emotion—it was heartbeats of them. Quick, fast, overlapping.

He moved, his gently abrasive cheek flush with hers and yet he was still out of reach. She struggled not to hyperventilate. This was the closest he’d ever intentionally been to her. His shoulder was inches from her face and she swore his head dipped lower to bring him even nearer to her. She felt him, breathed him. Leo was still, the armless embrace in control of him as much as it was her.

But then he shifted, and the space between them lengthened, and whatever that was, fell away into a lake of ‘never mentions.’ He grabbed the phone from her hand, her arm wrenched forward with the strength of it. “Better if you don’t know.”

She rubbed her shoulder as she glared up at him, angrier than was probably justified. Angry at the last few seconds more than anything else. “Not for me. Who was that man? Why was he here? Why are you cancelling appointments for today? What’s going on?” She jabbed at his chest through the thin gray shirt he wore. “You tell me or you’ll regret it.”

One eyebrow lifted. “Threatening me now?”

“No.” Her jaw shifted. “Promising.”

Humor glinted in his eyes, made them shine. It left as quickly as it appeared. He sat back down and called another client. “No one you should want to know,” was all he said when the call was completed.

Reese grabbed her head and groaned. “You’re impossible!”

“And you need to leave.”

She dropped her hands. “Are you going somewhere?”

He stood, moving to the coffeepot to pour himself a cup. “Yes.” He paused as he took a sip. “You’re not.”

Reese picked at the sleeve of her brown top. “What am I supposed to do today? I’m supposed to be working.” She sounded whiny, something she despised.

If she didn’t keep busy, temptation was always there to prod her into things she later regretted. Most of the time she wanted to wrap herself in a blanket of darkness and escape the world. She didn’t want to talk to anyone, she didn’t want to see anyone. She didn’t even want to think about anyone. But lately she couldn’t lose herself like she used to be able.

Leo set the coffee mug down. “You’ll still get paid.”

“I’m not worried about that!” Reese was worried about the darkness. There were different kinds, different shades. There was the one where she was alone in it. There was the darkness that numbed everything. There was the darkness that lived in her and made her do horrible things. There was even the darkness that was infatuated with Leo and acted out because of it.

“Would you just tell me what’s going on? Please? Or let me go with you.”

“No.” The word shot out of him like a bullet, fast and lethal.

She revealed how weak she was, and she hated that, but she hated the thought of being left by herself more. “I’ll stay here then. Clean and answer the phones. I can finish rescheduling clients.”

The sharp angles of his face, covered in shadows and paired with his lightning eyes, twisted. A flash of helplessness, a spark of rage, and Leo grabbed the appointment book and whipped it across the room. Reese jumped and took a step back, not out of fear, but surprise. He advanced on her, face dark with intimidation. She couldn’t breathe, heart racing in an alarming fashion, and yet she’d never felt more alive.

“I don’t think you understand,” he said slowly, quietly.

“Make me,” she whispered. She didn’t know what she was asking, but she knew she wanted whatever he would give her. Finally, finally, he was losing control. It was revolting that she so badly wanted him to, but she didn’t care.

Leo didn’t touch her, but she still felt him. The intensity was dizzyingly painful, hard to stand near. He made the air come to life with menace. It was thick, encompassing.

“You work here. That’s it. That’s all. If you want to keep working here—” He leaned toward her, their faces less than an inch apart. She noted a faint scar on his temple and another along his jaw. His nose was long and wide, the nostrils flared as he stared into her eyes. “—go home.”

“You won’t fire me,” she said, breathless. She was taunting him, but also confident of that. He should have gotten rid of her long ago.

His eyes shifted over her features. “Are you sure you want to find out?”

“Leo—”

“I’m not your babysitter,” he bit out harshly.

The emotion in those four words filleted her spine and her back instinctively curved inward. “I know you’re not. Don’t I keep telling you that?”

“Then quit acting like you need something from me I can’t give. I can’t make all your decisions for you, and I can’t be watching over you all the time to make sure you don’t slip up.”

Leo’s word were like a slap, and the sting of them reverberated through her. She blinked as consternation tightened her features. He was talking to her, but he wasn’t. Lost in a memory, eyes glazed before clearing, he looked at her and she saw a reflection of herself. Haunted, was the only word to describe his expression.

Reese couldn’t deny what he said. It was true. He knew her thoughts without her having to voice them, maybe because he understood them better than she would have thought possible. And among the devastating words, was the declaration she’d known would come, what she would never say, what she wondered if he ever would.

She wanted him and he didn’t want her.

Reese felt herself dim before his eyes and shrink into herself. She wanted to look away from him, but her eyes wouldn’t listen to her brain. With dullness creeping into her and tainting her voice, she quietly confessed, “I don’t want to be alone right now. That’s all.”

His eyebrows lowered and Leo’s lips parted like he wanted to speak, but he didn’t. The anger left his features, changing them back from extraordinary to average, and when she turned for the door, he said, “Wait.”

“No!” Reese spun back around to face him. “You said it. Now don’t apologize for it.”

Leo looked away and sighed. After a moment, he turned back to face her, his eyes telling her to understand something she couldn’t. “Reese,” he began.

“Just shut up already, Leo. I don’t want to hear whatever it is you have to say to try to make yourself feel better. You told me what I needed to hear. Have fun today.”

“I’m trying to protect you,” flittered through the air as she opened the door.

Reese stiffened, then walked out the door, letting it bang shut behind her. She wasn’t sure she was supposed to hear that. Winter air tried to chill her, but she was already cold. She crossed the street and entered the apartment building, making her way up the stairs to her apartment. Confused by his actions and words, and how none of their conversation connected in a sensible way, she grabbed her lighter and a cigarette and climbed out the living room window.

Perched on the rooftop, she smoked a cigarette and watched him drive away in his SUV. Reese wondered where he was going, who he would see, and what he would do while in their presence. The cigarette tasted like dirt, and after three puffs, she put it out.

Leo called her the next morning to tell her not to come in to work. She hung up on him without replying. Today was a day Reese generally enjoyed for the candy, costumes, and party atmosphere, but she wasn’t feeling it. Dressed in a tight black cat suit that made it difficult to walk or breathe, she stiffly made her way down the hallway toward the stairs. She was supposed to meet Amber at a club to drink and dance her woes away—and those she always had in abundance.

The air stung her cheeks and made her eyes water. Gray skies and tumultuous clouds were overhead as she left the apartment building. Reese’s gaze immediately went to the tattoo shop and her stomach flip-flopped when she saw that Leo stood outside with his arms crossed. His stance told the world to stay away, and yet the large, orange bowl of what she assumed was candy, contradicted that.

Reese was surprised when a handful of kids stopped by the bowl and dug their hands in, waving as they took off. Her mouth twisted. Maybe she perceived him to be more frightening to others than he was. She quickly tossed that out, deciding it had to be that others didn’t find him terrifying enough.

Her steps were supposed to move in one direction and instead moved in another. She crossed the street, noting the tautness of his posture as she got closer. She should keep heading toward the bar. That would keep things simple. He didn’t want to see her, but that was too bad. She never took the easy route.

She shivered in her shiny black cat suit, flipping the mask to her forehead to better see. “What are you doing?”

Leo gave her a look, silently telling her to figure it out.

Reese sucked in a sharp breath. “What happened to your face?” she demanded and moved closer.

Leo scowled as he averted his busted lip and a long scratch on the left side of his face from her view. “Ran into barbed wire.”

He was lying, but she knew if he didn’t want her to know something, she wouldn’t. “Ran into barbed wire? Have a lot of that here in town, do we? Or were you jumping fences at the local farms, cow-tipping your way through the community?”

Someone did this to him. Someone hurt him. Seeing him like this made him more human and added vulnerability she hadn’t thought possible. Her heart squeezed. It was a minor wound. It could have been much worse. Knowing that didn’t make her sense of indignation and anger lessen.

How do you know it wasn’t given to him in self-defense?

Even as she thought it, she tossed it away. Maybe it was wrong of her to so easily see him as a good guy instead of bad, but even with how secretive and careful he was about revealing any information of himself to her, her instincts were usually trustworthy. That, and she couldn’t stand the thought of him being something other than what she wanted and needed him to be. He was her ever-enduring fence. There were nicks and gouges in it, but it still held strong. He had to stay that way or she wouldn’t be able to deal.

You don’t know him. You don’t know what he is or isn’t.

She looked down, swallowing around a tight throat. His wounded face was messing with her. She couldn’t stand it. Leo should not be hurt, not in any way. Why did she care? She shouldn’t. Reese told herself to drop it, but she couldn’t.

“Does this have anything to do with that man that showed up? And cancelling all the appointments yesterday and today?” Her voice got firmer as she talked, until it bristled.

He looked at her then, and the hardness of his expression caused her to fall back a step. “You’ve been working here just under six months.”

“Yes,” she confirmed in a faint voice.

He studied her, waiting for her to understand. It took a moment, but she finally did. He nodded when their eyes met and he knew she got it. She looked away, an ache pooling in her stomach. She wasn’t owed an explanation. Reese wasn’t part of his life. She was putting more importance on herself than was warranted.

“You should have let me go with you. I could have helped,” she grumbled, kicking at a pebble with her boot.

“What would you have done? Colorfully cursed at them? Petrifying,” he mocked.

Reese caught a flash of silver in his eyes before they darkened once more. “Glad you find this so amusing.”

He shrugged.

She wanted to ask if she’d heard him right as she was leaving yesterday, if he really thought he was protecting her, and if so, why, and from who exactly, but Reese couldn’t. It was too deep, too much.

Instead Reese searched her brain for something to say and came up with the obvious. “You pass out candy to trick-or-treaters? I never would have guessed it. Now, tattoos at a discounted price—that I could see.
Come here, kiddie, kiddie, let me ink you up,
” she said in a growly voice, holding her hands out like claws.

A girl in a shimmering pink dress carrying a wand ducked her head and hurried past. Reese dropped her hands.