Authors: Emilia Beaumont
a few weeks to get my new apartment above Devan and Monique’s garage ready, but when it was all cleaned up, it was a dream. I was a little bummed to not have a kitchen or a bathroom handy, but the house was just a few steps from the garage, so it wasn’t so bad.
When I had left their place weeks ago, the day we’d written up the tentative agreement, I wasn’t so sure about the arrangement. I was trying to be understanding of Monique’s position, but seriously. No good food, no sex, no traveling – it felt a little like I was being sequestered for a murder trial. But I didn’t really have much of a choice – I couldn’t let them down now, especially when Devan had said I didn’t need to pay rent, and I’d given them both so much hope.
Plus, I’d be able to clear my debts much faster this way. Honestly, the arrangement was a win-win for everyone, and if I needed to miss hamburgers and well, mediocre sex from Mark, for the next nine months, then I could do that.
I woke up on a Tuesday morning in my new place and, as I had each day since I’d moved in, I smiled and shook my head at how perfect it was. The sun shone in through a window near the roof, and the space was bright and roomy. I got up and put on my robe. I had the day off and had hoped that both Devan and Monique would want to have a breakfast out somewhere, but Devan had said last night that he had an early morning meeting and would be at work all day. Monique mentioned that she’d be going to work out, at the gym I think, so I was on my own, which would be a nice change.
I started some coffee brewing and looked through the paper. The sections were already split out, so I knew either Devan or Monique or both of them had already been through their morning routine. I cracked some eggs into a pan and put some toast down. While I waited, I flipped through the horoscopes. They always cracked me up. Today’s was, “Soon, your loyalties will be tested.” Great, I thought.
I’d only just sat down to eat breakfast when I heard a loud thump from down the hall and Monique laughing. I walked to the hallway and listened; I hadn’t thought either of them was home. I could hear soft music playing and more laughter coming from the den at the end of the house.
Intrigued, my heart pounding, I slowly crept forward, my shoulder brushing the wall. I knew Devan was supposed to be at work, but perhaps he’d come home early? The door was cracked open, and I was grateful for the music because it drowned out any noise I might have made. I shuffled to the door and peeked inside.
I could see Monique’s bare back with a sheet covering her rear end. She was sitting on top of Devan circling her hips, then lowering herself up and down on him. I bit my lip, and my nipples hardened as I watched them… imagining I was on top, with a mass of colour, Devan’s arms, wrapped around me.
Then Monique arched her back and moved enough that I could see the figure lying underneath her.
My stomach sank; I didn’t know who it was, but it sure wasn’t Devan. I should’ve realised straight away from the lack of tattoos on the man’s bare but fuzzy arms that it wasn’t Dev. I took a second look to make sure that I wasn’t hallucinating, but this man was blond, with longer hair.
Monique was having an affair.
I felt sick, and I walked quickly back down the hallway towards the rear of the house and ran back to my apartment.
The longer I thought about it, the angrier I got. Why did Monique want a baby with Devan if she was cheating on him?
And she had some nerve telling me I couldn’t have sex when she was apparently having sex with anyone she felt like. I had half a mind to go back into the house and confront her, but that would be catastrophic for both Devan and for me. I feared if I said one word to Monique, she’d kick me out of the apartment. I couldn’t risk it, not now that I couldn’t go back to my old apartment. I’d end up homeless…
But if I told Devan… Oh, god, Devan. His face flashed through my mind, and my heart just broke for him. Devan, who had been trying every way possible to save his marriage. Devan, who would do anything, including asking his stepsister to carry his child, to make his wife happy.
And the worst part was that I was absolutely dying for a cheeseburger with bacon right now and couldn’t have one. We’d signed the contracts, and everything was a go. I was officially a vegetarian.
I threw a pillow against the wall and grabbed a fruit bar from a basket Monique had brought up to my apartment “to help with the meat cravings”. I gobbled down the dry, sawdust-like fruit bar and then started on another, but I was the type of person who, when I wanted a certain food would stay hungry until I had that food, no matter how much other stuff I ate. I threw the remaining bar against the wall, and it landed with a soft thud on the pillow.
My phone pinged, and I grabbed it. It was Devan, saying he had set up a doctor’s appointment for me the next evening after work. This was the final step in the beginning of the process; once we got the go-ahead from the doctor that I was healthy enough to carry the baby, things would start moving fast. I would be pregnant within a few weeks, and then I wouldn’t be able to tell Devan anything about what Monique was doing. I knew my frustration, though, was not about burgers; it was about not being able to tell my brother that his wife was a fucking liar… a cheating, sly snake.
I just couldn’t be the one to break his heart.
up Mila after she was done at work to take her to the clinic. I had butterflies in my stomach in anticipation of the exam and what the doctor would say.
Today’s exam was a pivotal part of the process, and I didn’t think Mila should go in by herself. I had asked Monique to go with her instead, but she had insisted I drive her there and be a part of the process. She was at work all day and couldn’t take any more time off. I had shrugged when she told me that and said no problem, though I wondered how things would be when we actually had the baby.
“Do you want me to come in with you?” I asked. “I can, I mean, if that’s not weird for you.”
“It’s a little weird,” Mila said. She had been really quiet since I’d picked her up. I felt bad; I knew she was nervous about this, and I think the reality of what was happening, the sacrifice she was making, was setting in.
“You will never know how grateful Monique and I are that you agreed to do this,” I said, reaching over and squeezing her hand. Her hand was so soft and warm; I interlaced my fingers through hers and squeezed. “Truly.”
I saw her looking at our hands, and she pulled hers away.
“You can just drop me off,” she said, her voice strong again. “I’ll text you when I’m done. There’s no need for you to hang around.”
“Are you sure?” I asked. “I don’t mind.” As if I were going to leave her alone at the clinic when it was on Monique’s and my behalf that she was there. But that was Mila, fiercely independent and solo. The more I’d gotten to know her over the last few weeks, the more I’d realised what a wild spirit she had.
She had moved in and taken on decorating the place to her liking. She bought all her own food and prepared all her own meals. She was far more self-reliant than I had been at her age, and I admired her for being able to take on a huge problem like her potential eviction and solve it with a little persuading from my mom and Suzanne.
Mila would make a great mother someday and a great wife to someone, I mused. She was perfect.
We pulled up outside the hospital, and Mila opened the door and got out. “I’ll text you,” she said again and tried to put a smile on her face.
“You’ll do great!” I said.
I didn’t leave the hospital parking lot.
I parked the truck and walked around, trying to keep myself busy and my mind preoccupied. But I kept wondering what part of the exam was happening, wondering if she was getting all green lights or if there was something we’d need to deal with. Monique texted asking how things were. I said I didn’t know anything yet. Wandering aimlessly, I found myself in the hospital’s cafeteria and quickly picked out a soda and a bag of chips and went through the line. With my food in hand, I was on my way back to the truck when Monique called.
“Hey, listen, I got invited to a dinner thing for work tonight. Are you cool if I go? I want to hear about Mila’s exam, but this is kind of an important event.”
“Tonight?” I asked. “Isn’t that kind of short notice?”
“Could you not hassle me?” she snapped. “I told you, I want to hear about Mila’s exam. If I could get out of this, I would.”
“Fine. No problem,” I said, sighing and shielding my eyes from the sun. I was getting used to letting go of arguments I really didn’t want to have. “She should be out any time. I’ll take her out to dinner — she’s earned a fun night out, I think.”
“Watch her diet,” Monique warned. “No alcohol, no meat, no sugar. Take her to that vegan place on 44
, it’s supposed to be really good, and she can eat whatever she wants there.”
“Yeah, okay,” I said.
“Have fun at your dinner.”
I clicked off the call, and a text from Mila immediately popped up; she was ready and waiting at the front door. I got back in the truck and drove to the circle entry. She was smiling when she got in.
“A smile is a good sign,” I said, as I grabbed her hand to help her into the truck. A spark surged its way up my arm; it was almost becoming a familiar thing I had to prepare for whenever I touched her skin.
“Everything is a go,” she said. Her voice had picked up its energy again, and she looked at me – something, I realised, she hadn’t done the entire way there. “We can do the implantation within the next week.”
“Great!” I nearly shouted. All of these obstacles we’d faced, and now things were finally happening. “We need to go celebrate!”
“You can celebrate,” Mila said, still smiling. “I’ll have a glass of ice water and a rice cracker.”
“You will do no such thing,” I said, turning on to the highway that would take us to the main stretch of restaurants in town. “You’re going to have the biggest, juiciest burger and the biggest glass of beer, and you’re going to chase it all down with a piece of chocolate cake.”
Mila laughed. “And then can I have sex, too?”
I coughed violently. The shock of her words startled me; they were fucking with my head.
“Oh, god. Are you OK?” she asked I tried to clear my throat.
“Yes. Um. I’m fine,” I managed and we sat in awkward silence for the rest of the drive.
I pulled into Tasty Burger; I knew that was her favourite. The line was fast, and soon we were sitting in a booth with two burger baskets, an order of onion rings and a pitcher of beer.
“Ohhhh, my God,” Mila said as she chewed her first bite of the burger. “If I have this, I don’t need sex.” She closed her eyes with a divine look on her face, moaning in pleasure. I watched jealously as she devoured every morsel. The grease from the burger made her plump lips glisten.
God, those lips.
“Easy there, Tiger,” I said, talking to myself as much as her as I tried very fucking hard to will my hard-on away.
We finished dinner, me mostly with my head down, concentrating on my own food and not Mila’s lips and where I wanted them to be, as Mila told me about the doctor’s appointment.
“He said everything is good, that I’m a great age and in great health. He also told me that I should allow myself to eat what I want throughout my pregnancy, just not, like, a ton of tuna and stuff.”
I nodded in agreement. I was going to need to talk to Monique about all of this diet stuff. Mila was going to need to keep her energy up, and not letting her have the protein she was used to seemed like it spelled disaster.
“Do you want to go to a bar? One last hurrah?” I asked, not wanting the night to end. I hated myself for thinking it, but it’d been a long time since I’d had any kind of fun. Monique never wanted to go out… well, not with me anyway. And the beer had been good, but I wasn’t ready to go home to an empty house yet, and I got the feeling Mila wasn’t ready for the night to end, either.
Mila nodded and grinned as she blotted away any remaining trace of grease with a napkin that lingered on her lips.
There was a great bar just a few blocks away from Tasty Burger, so we decided to walk.
“Where’s Monique tonight?” Mila asked.
I felt a stabbing pain in my gut that was either too much burger and beer or something else entirely. “She said she had a work event or something tonight.”
Mila was quiet.
“She wanted to hear about the appointment, but she said it just came up and it was important.”
“Do you believe her?”
I looked sharply at Mila, wondering if it were possible she was reading my thoughts. For the last few months, I had suspected Monique of messing around with someone, another guy, but I hadn’t even allowed my suspicions to form fully in my own mind, never mind bringing them up to someone else.
“I… I don’t know,” I admitted.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I should mind my own business.”
“No, it’s okay. You’re family. And you live with us.”
We ducked into the bar, and I decided to throw sensibility out the window; I ordered us each a tequila shot. “To the future,” I said, and we drank.
We did that four times. Then I wisely switched to beer.
around the third shot that I knew I was going to have to really concentrate on walking once we left the bar.
“I think you should talk to Monique,” I shouted over the music.
“What?” Devan asked. His eyes had a gloss over them, and I knew he was feeling just as tipsy as I was.
“Talk to her!” I said. “About what you think is happening.”
Devan shook his head and looked away. “Maybe,” he yelled back, shrugging his toned, thick shoulders, the muscles rippling beneath his shirt. “Or maybe I won’t say one word and will just let things go whatever way they’re meant to go. I want a simple and easy life. I’ve had enough action and drama to last five lifetimes, Mila. I don’t need anymore.”
Our eyes met as he delivered the last line, and I had a feeling we weren’t talking about him and Monique no more.
“…Like we used to say in the Navy: Don’t rock the boat unless you’re ready to get wet,” he continued, then looked away.
We did a fourth shot, the tequila went down so easily, and I was savouring every last drink I could have before the implantation took place. He ordered a beer, and I kept the cocktails going with a martini.
The bar was full, and it was incredibly loud; it was hard to talk. Devan and I yelled a few things at each other, but mostly we just watched the crowd. I felt the music and the beat take over me; the sounds of specific voices grew fuzzy, and pretty soon all I could see was the flashing lights on the dance floor, and all I could hear was the
thrum thrum thrum
of the bass.
I glanced down at his free hand; the other was wrapped around his beer bottle. I could’ve easily taken his hand in mine and pulled him onto the crowded dance-floor. It wouldn’t have to mean anything if we got lost amongst the gyrating, sweaty, bodies and danced. Would it?
“Mila!” Someone called at me before I could do something stupid.
Arms slid around my waist, as lips trailed up my neck.
“Where have you been gorgeous?” Mark said as he came into view.
“Mark?” I said, tensing up as I recognised his voice. He was drunk… being a little too handsy for my liking, especially with my stepbrother sitting right there.
Dev glared at him as Mark pulled me off the chair, arms still around my waist, his groin grinding against my ass, in time with the music.
“Mark, I’m here with my stepbrother, let me go, please,” I asked as I tried to undo the hold he had over my body. My eyes darted to watch Dev’s reaction. Having Mark draped all over me for some reason made me feel incredibly guilty, as if I’d been caught cheating…
“Ah, but I’ve missed you so much,” he said, oblivious to the tatted man only a few feet away from us. Mark danced me towards the dance floor as I struggled to get free. “You’ve been a naughty girl, ignoring my texts.” His hand slid up between my legs, beneath my skirt, going for my pussy; groping me.
“What the fuck, Mark! Let me go!” I said more firmly. I couldn’t have him touching me while Dev, behind us, watched… not like that.
“Are you deaf? She said to let her go!” Devan was by my side in a flash.
“Fuck off, dude. Who are you? Her father?”
Dev saw red and proceeded to yank Mark away by the scruff of his neck, bending the other behind his back in a crippling move. Dev clamped down on Mark’s neck, his knuckles whitening, restricting his airflow.
Fuck, this was not good.
Dev’s eyes were wild with fury.
“It’s OK,” I said making eye contact, and touched his immovable arm, trying to calm the protective beast inside him. Dev blinked at me as our eyes locked and the room faded away as if we were the only ones there.
Instantly Dev threw Mark to the floor, discarding him like he would a piece of garbage.
“Let’s get out of here!” Devan shouted at me over the music and took my hand. Glancing over my shoulder I looked at Mark clawing at his neck over, and Dev took care of our tab.
“You didn’t have to do that!” I yelled.
It was too much effort to keep yelling. “Thank you!” I yelled instead. “Let’s go!”
We stumbled out into the night air, and I mean really stumbled. I almost fell on my face and would have if Devan hadn’t caught my arm.
“Whoa there, Tiger,” he said and I blushed at the pet name he kept using in place of my own.
I liked the sound of that. His voice was quieter outside, and he picked me up as if I weighed nothing, our faces got close, and I could smell the alcohol on his breath mingled with the warm heady musk of his sweaty body. It was a comforting smell. “Can you walk?” he whispered, and I almost said no, to prevent him from putting me down.
“I’m fine,” I said, hearing the slur in my own voice. “I’m fine.” I tried it again and got the words to come out more clearly.
He offered his arm, and I linked mine through it and leaned against him. He was toasty and strong, and god did he smell good, more intoxicating that the alcohol that was sloshing around inside me. I didn’t think I’d ever been this close to him outside of hugging him hello and goodbye. He felt nice, safe and dangerous all at the same time.
I reminded myself.
He’s your married stepbrother!
“He didn’t hurt you did he?” Dev asked quietly as we walked.
“Mark? No… I’m fine. Thank you by the way,” I replied.
I expected him to say that it was no problem, but his whole body seemed to tense up. “The fuck are you doing with a sleaze like him?” he snarled.
Dev stopped and took hold of my shoulders.
“You deserve better than the likes of him, Mila.”
What could I say? I knew he was right. I nodded.
“He’s just someone I know,” I said weakly.
Dev shook his head, his jawline pulsing as he said through gritted teeth, “Promise me, Mila, that you won’t see him again. I don’t think I could stand his hands…” Dev stopped himself and looked away.
“Don’t think you could what?” I asked expectantly, wanting so desperately to finish that sentence.
He stood and let his eyes travel from mine to my lips and back up.
e took a cab home
, and when the driver pulled up to the curb, it was obvious that Monique wasn’t home. The whole house was dark, and her car was still gone from its usual spot in the driveway.
Devan tipped the cab driver and then closed the door, turning to me. “I’m gonna walk you to your place,” he said surprising me; he’d been quiet the whole ride home.
“My place is right there,” I said and giggled, pointing up ahead and to the right.
“Still,” he said, “I want to make sure you get up those stairs okay.”
Like a true gentleman, he escorted me up the stairs, keeping a tight hold of me and occasionally palming the small of my back to keep me upright when I wobbled. We stopped on the landing outside the door while I fumbled for my keys. I found them, and he took them from me, finding the right one in no time and slipping it into the lock. I turned to give him a hug.
“Tonight was so fun, well apart from, you know, what happened with Mark. But we should do it more often,” I said, my arms around him. Our chests were pressed together and he squeezed me tight around my waist. “Thank you.”
“No, thank you for everything you’re doing,” Devan whispered. His mouth was right beside my ear, and I felt his lips brush against my lobe as he spoke.
I breathed in sharply as I felt my body respond to his touch. Locked in the hug, I suddenly found that I didn’t want to let go, and he didn’t make a move to release me, either. In fact, I wanted to be closer to him. Insanity overcame me, and I squeezed him and moved my hips closer to his. I felt something hard against my thigh and knew that he was feeling the same thing.
“Dev?” I whispered, pulling back, my cheek brushing against his short stubble.
I glanced up, seeing the fire in his eyes, and then almost at once his lips were on mine. I hardly had the chance to breathe.
He was still holding me up, which was a good thing because when his lips pressed against my mouth, I was overtaken with a sensation of desire I’d never felt before – not with Mark, not with anybody.
I kissed him back, knowing full well I shouldn’t, but I ignored any thoughts to desist. I pressed my mouth to his, wanting more. His tongue slipped into my mouth, roughly brushing over my lips, and filled me till I felt my eyes roll back.
But kissing didn’t seem like enough, and a familiar swirl of pleasure, a pulse between my legs, started to demand more. He dropped his hands to my ass and pulled me sharply toward him, toward the bulge in his pants. I rubbed my body against it through his pants and felt his cock move, his erection gaining strength.
Devan’s hands were all over me, greedy and wanting. He brushed my hair away from my shoulder, and his hand skirted down to my breast. He squeezed it gently through the fabric of my dress, and my chest pounded with excitement. He thumbed at my erect nipple through my bra. He fiddled with it, rolling it between his fingers, and I moaned into his mouth.
I found the top of his jeans, then moved my hand beneath his shirt, needing to touch his skin. I moaned again as my fingertips trailed over abs, solid and unyielding, then pulled him closer. All the while we were kissing, kissing, kissing, and I never wanted to stop.
Each time one of us began to pull away, the other would pull back in. I dropped my hand back to his pants and began to slide my fingers along the shaft of his cock. I wanted to curl my hand around it and take it fully into my palm, but his pants were too tight for that to be an option. Instead, I pressed my palm against his shaft and rubbed. He moaned and reached for my ass again, yanking me in close to him and bringing one of my legs up onto his hip.
“God, I want you,” he whispered.
“Me too,” I admitted, and I pressed my body against his, clearly indicating I wanted more.
“I don’t want him touching you, ever again…”
“Never,” I breathed in agreement.
With all thoughts of Mark completely obliterated from my mind I arched my leg higher on Dev’s hip. He lifted me slightly, my pussy rubbed against his shaft, and we both groaned together. I felt off-balance, but I knew he had me; his grip was so strong and solid.
He’d never let me fall.
We kissed deeper, more deeply than I had ever kissed anyone, his tongue finding its way to the back corners of my mouth, and it still didn’t feel like it was far enough. I wanted him to consume me. I felt like I was on fire with arousal, and I knew that I was wet. I wanted to kiss him all night long.
Devan lifted the hem of my skirt, his hand working its way up my thigh.
I wanted to yell. I wanted his hand, his fingers directly on me, fondling my wet folds. He traced a fingertip along the edge of my panties, driving me crazy.
“You like that? My finger there?”
“Mhm,” I moaned.
He swirled a digit over my thoroughly soaked panties, and using his hand, cupped my drenched pussy. There was only a thin thread of material between us, and I wanted it gone. I wanted him in me.
Headlights flashed and bounced as a car travelled down the street. Sensing it as it turned into the driveway, we pulled apart, out of our nearly hypnotic trance. My heart stopped, and Devan let go of me as we looked at each other, not daring to move as Monique’s car disappeared around the front, out of sight.
His eyes were wild, and his lips were swollen. I brought my fingers to my own lips and felt they were puffy with our activities.
I shook my head.
Did that just happen
? I looked around and realised where we were, at the top of the stairs alongside the garage. Thankfully, the majority of the stairs were in shadow… but perhaps with the right lighting anyone could’ve seen.
Monique might’ve seen!
Devan cleared his throat. I saw the same look of panic in his eyes that I was acutely aware of in my own head.
“Night,” he said and turned away from me abruptly, all but running down the stairs. I stood stock-still, not able to move as my body cooled down away from his touch.
Devan was my stepbrother. He was family. But, my body argued, I had never felt that attracted, that sensual, in a moment like that, ever in my life.
I felt like I was walking in slow motion as I stepped into my apartment and closed the door. I dropped my keys on the floor and walked to my bed, flopping down on it. I didn’t want to close my eyes; I knew the spins were close. Why had I drank so much? But I wanted to shut out what had just happened. Close my eyes and move into a dream.
Or did I?
Did I want to forget it? Did I want to pretend it hadn’t happened? Now I knew for sure that Devan was as attracted to me as I was to him, even though I’d been trying hard to fight it. I tried to put it out of my mind, but every time I moved to a different thought, the lingering sensation of his mouth on mine, his fingers brushing my pussy, brought me back.
aybe if I
closed my eyes long enough the kiss would just disappear. Like it never, ever happened. Evaporate as if in a dream.
I did exactly that, shutting them as tightly as possible until no remnants of light could seep through my eyelids. I was enveloped in blissful darkness, but oblivion refused to come.
Please, please, please. Make it disappear.
Please, please, please. Make it happen again.
Devan’s face was burned into my retinas; there was no shaking him from my thoughts or vision.
What had I done?
This was entirely my fault. If only I hadn’t hugged him…
why had I drunk so much
I groaned, knowing my thoughts were conflicted and confused. This forbidden kiss was going to ruin me.
Opening my eyes again, I knew I was in trouble. The sleep that seemed to be calling to me only moments ago now eluded me, and I anticipated a long night ahead of me.
With a heavy sigh, I propped some pillows up on the headboard of my bed. I leaned back and started to come to terms with what had happened. The cogs turning in my mind overruled the tiredness of my body.