Snow in Love (13 page)

A

fter the winners of the Annual Best Costume Contest were announced, the entire party was ushered outside, where the party organizers had transformed the walkway to the main chairlift into a path of lights. There were candles everywhere, on the path itself and hanging from the bare tree branches. Once we were all outside, Mean Agnes gave an order and the entire resort powered down. All the electric lights were shut off, and the whole area fell into a hushed quiet.

The group of us huddled near a large tree, and peered up into the night searching for the natural light show. Unfortunately there were too many clouds to make it worthwhile.

“It’s freezing out here!” I exclaimed, as I wrapped the cape tightly around me and blew out a stream of breathy air.

“I thought your sash would keep you warm,” Erin wisecracked.

I felt across my chest for the Best Costume sash. “It does! It does!”

Abby jumped up and down and clapped. “I can’t believe it! We won!” She fingered the sash that she was wearing—as soon as Will and I were handed the winning title, he had given his sash to Abby and told her she deserved it. It was a really nice thing for him to do.

So now, the dance was at its end, and Abby and I were in matching sashes, though mine was over layers of white lace and hers was over a black sweatshirt. But that wasn’t the source of her giddy happiness. No, the source was approaching us with a handful of paper cups.

“Here, this’ll keep you warm,” Cam said, handing each of us girls a steaming hot chocolate.

“Thanks,” Abby said shyly. Erin’s smile was bigger than I’d ever seen it.

It turned out that our goal of seeing Sabrina Hartley in tears was achieved, but it had nothing to do with our costumes. In fact, Cam and Sabrina had gotten in a spat almost as soon as they’d arrived, and Cam had finally told her that she had to be nicer or he was going to break up with her.

Well, Sabrina is a lot of things, but naturally nice isn’t one of them. That was when she had marched over to Will and thrown herself at him. Soon after, Cam had asked Abby to dance. And the rest of the night, he’d spent with her.

I’d never seen her look so happy.

“Too bad there are so many clouds tonight,” Erin said wistfully.

“Yeah, I’d wanted to see the northern lights,” Abby agreed.

“Ah, it’s cold anyway. Diner anyone?” Cam asked.

A half hour later, the five of us were crammed into the corner booth at the Mountain Diner, in what I had always thought of as Sabrina’s booth.

Cam’s arm was around Abby’s shoulders, and Erin was eating the biggest plate of French fries I’d ever seen.

Will sat next to me, leaning across to pick off of Erin’s plate. He was describing what it was like to be assaulted by Sabrina.

“I thought my life was ending in a flash of blue satin.”

“Seriously, what was I thinking?” Cam asked. Abby blushed.

I leaned into the booth and caught myself feeling content. I had had a really good time at the ball, with my two best friends and Will and Cam. I ate a fry, feeling slightly guilty about enjoying myself so much when my boyfriend was sitting home alone. I knew that I should leave, call Jake, and go back to my real life.

Will nudged me in my side. “Come back, Whitman. Where’s your mind at?”

“School,” I lied without thinking.

There was a collective groan at the table. Erin threw a fry at me. “Don’t talk about that!”

“Hey!” Abby squealed. “Don’t throw food at my creation!”

Just then, as if he could hear my thoughts, Jake appeared at our table. I held my breath. Everyone went quiet, especially Will. Erin kicked me beneath the table.

“Hey!” I finally greeted him. “Look.” I held out the sash for him to see. “We won!”

Jake tried to read the writing on it. “Oh,” he said, confused. “What’d you win?”

Erin found her voice. “They won Best Costume. Abby made them. For Jessie and Will.”

The table had already been quiet, but this brought it down even further.

“Here, sit down,” Will said finally. He squeezed in closer to me to make room for Jake, but Erin, who was on my other side, refused to budge. This caused me to be squished.

“Watch the dress!” Abby scolded.

“Let me out,” I said quietly to Will.

His face fell. “No, just—don’t go yet.”

“Come on, Jessie.” Jake held out his hand for me.

“I have to. Just move,” I said to Will.

Will slid out of the booth so I could follow suit. When I stood up, I presented the skirt to Jake so he could see. “See? Best Costume. Abby rules.”

Jake didn’t really say anything. He reached for my hand and turned to the table. “See you guys later.”

Everybody mumbled good-byes to me, except for Erin and Will. As Jake and I walked out of the door, I turned to catch a last glimpse of them. Will stared at me. I smiled but he didn’t smile back.

 

Jake walked me home while I tried to stop myself from thinking about Will so much.

“Was it fun?” he asked as we passed the turnoff to Mr. Winter’s farm.

I didn’t answer right away. What was I supposed to say? Was I supposed to tell him that I had had a great time, and that it had been great because I’d been with Will? I was starting to seriously hate myself. “Yes,” I answered after a moment. “It was fun. I think Cam and Sabrina broke up for good.”

“Sabrina’s the girl you hate, right?”

“I don’t
hate
her,” I grumbled.

Jake laughed. “Okay. I’m not even sure if I know which one she is, but I know you hate her.”

This made me feel even worse, so this time I didn’t say anything. I focused on how cold my ears and hands were. Also, I couldn’t feel my toes anymore. These shoes were pretty, but they pinched the front of my feet, and they weren’t exactly built to keep out the snow. I thought about how nice it would be to still be at the diner, with my friends, laughing at Will’s stories of Sabrina and thinking about what a good dancer he was. About how funny he’d been on the dance floor, dipping me so close to the ground that I could’ve kissed it.

“What’s so funny?” Jake asked me.

I looked at him, surprised that I had been smiling broadly enough for him to see it in the night’s darkness.

“Nothing. Just thinking about accepting my crown,” I lied again. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, my spirits plummeted. Why was I telling lies? I just wanted to get home.

But when we finally arrived at my house, the awkward feeling I had increased.

“Want to hang out a little bit?” Jake asked me, when we got to the doorway.

“No, it’s too late. My dad will freak.”

Jake’s brows moved toward the middle of his face. He was surprised that I had said no. In fact, I was surprised that I had said no. It
wasn’t
too late. If it had been Will who’d walked me home, my dad would’ve invited him in. This thought made me feel even grumpier, so I kissed Jake on the cheek and sent him home.

Later, once I was back in my room, and taking the dress off, and removing the pins from my hair, and sitting on my bed with Teddy on my lap, all I could think about was Will. How handsome he looked. How sweet he was to Erin. How fun it was to dance with him. How close he sat next to me in the booth.

I thought too about English class, about what it would be like to see him in the halls of Willow High. I hugged Teddy more tightly. I realized that no matter what I did to try to keep myself from liking Will, when we got back to school I would always be looking for him in the halls, just like all the other girls there did.

It was all Will’s fault. He’d gone and cast his stupid spell on me, and I hadn’t been strong enough to keep it from happening. And this dance was the last time I’d ever have any time with him. And I hadn’t realized until this moment that I felt
sad
about it.

The worst thing was that I had been disappointed to see Jake at the diner and that shouldn’t be how a girl felt to see her boyfriend. I was beginning to feel really bad about myself. Here I’d used Will to get Jake, I’d manipulated everybody until Jake had broken up with Evie, and now I was sitting alone, having gotten everything I’d wanted, and I didn’t want it anymore.

I had become Sabrina.

I wondered if it was too late to make myself a big Cheer-up Shake.

W

hen I opened my eyes the next morning, they focused almost immediately on the winner’s sash, which I had thumbtacked to my wall the night before. Sitting up, I read the words
BEST COSTUME
, then immediately closed my eyes.

The feelings I had had the night before came rushing back: the knotty stomach and the pounding heartbeat that all spoke to the fact that I felt guilty.

I bounded out of bed, showered, and brushed my hair. When I got to the kitchen with a notion that I’d try to choke down some cereal, Brian was at the table, his head in his hands, his face glum, and his blueberry muffin in a thousand little pieces as if he had smashed it.

Normally I would’ve eaten my cereal and ignored him. But the
guilt
I felt was all-consuming and I was desperate to make it go away. I knew the only way to do that was to start at least acting like a good-hearted person. Hopefully I could fake the goodness until I made it. “What’s up?” I asked him.

He didn’t seem surprised by my concern at all. In fact, he didn’t even look up or answer me.

So I started again, pulling out a chair and sitting next to him. “Wanna go skiing today? I’ll take you. We can even go get your little friend if you want.” I swallowed a bit of cereal and noticed that my chest already felt a bit less edgy. Good deeds were good medicine.

Brian didn’t seem as high on my offer as I was. He balled his hand into a fist and brought it down on the smashed-up muffin, causing it to crumble into a million more pieces.

“Okay,” I said, trying to figure out his problem. “Skating then?”

“Whatever,” he replied, his head in his hands, sounding sadder than ever.

“Brian, what’s going on?”

He finally raised his eyes. “Will you help me write a letter?”

I spent the rest of my morning sitting by the computer, helping my brother compose an email that would make any twelve-year-old proud. It turned out that he was feeling blue because Tiffany had left early with her father and Evie. I had been so caught up in my own plans, I hadn’t realized that she had left too. As I thought about it, Brian hadn’t been in my way at all the past couple of days. He’d been sad for days and I hadn’t even noticed. There was no two ways about it: I had to try to be a better sister.

When we’d finally come up with something he felt good about, we hit
SEND
, and he turned to me, grinning. He hopped off the chair, kicked me in the shin, and then ran into the living room where he promptly began playing video games. I screamed in pain and muttered something about getting him back, before remembering my vow of only a few moments before to be a better sister. Maybe being a better sister meant understanding that a kick in the shin from Brian wasn’t really a kick in the shin. Maybe in Brian’s world, it was a proper thank-you. It was funny to me that he was at his most destructive when he felt his best.

I turned to the computer, looking at the message confirming delivery of his email, thinking to myself that maybe Tiffany was going to be to Brian what Jake had been to me. A source of happiness that had nothing to do with our daily routines.

I scooted closer to the monitor and poised my fingers over the keys. I knew I had to do something. I owed Evie an apology, and I really should’ve done it in person. I had single-handedly ruined this girl’s vacation. No amount of Cheer-up Shakes could take that feeling away.

I worked on my email for a half hour. I told her that it had been really nice to meet her, and that when her family came back to Willow Hill, Erin, Abby, and I would be excited to see her and would help her with her skiing skills. And then I apologized if the vacation hadn’t been what she’d expected this year. I didn’t come right out and say anything about Jake, but I hoped she’d understand that I knew I had done wrong.

After I finished the email, I pulled on Will’s coat, covered my face and hands and head in as many layers as I could, and trudged over to Snow Cones. The place was nearly empty when I got there, and I occupied my time by making Apology Sundaes (vanilla ice cream, chopped-up Snickers bars, and caramel sauce). I made three of them, and put them in paper cups with plastic lids. Packing them into a paper bag, I headed out to make amends.

 

I’d always avoided Sabrina Hartley, so actually seeking her out made me feel like I was in the Twilight Zone. I first tried the tanning place in the middle of town, then the Mountain Diner, and then the spa area at the resort. She was nowhere to be found.

I walked the trails behind the skiing hills, then went to the skating area, and finally ended up back at Erin’s post in the lodge.

“You’re looking for who?” Her eyes were wide in disbelief.

“I’m making amends,” I pronounced.

“
You’re
making amends to
her
?” She dropped her book onto the counter and it fluttered closed.

“Your place!” I exclaimed, imagining how upset I’d be to lose my place in a thousand-page book.

“Nah. I’m finished.”

“Good?” I asked.

“Very.” Erin straightened her back and reached for me. “While I think you’re crazy, I hope that you’re going to set
everything
right.”

I took a breath. I had a feeling that she meant Will.

She continued on, “I just mean that you shouldn’t assume that because a guy is nice and funny and charming that he doesn’t
mean
it.”

I nodded and showed her the contents of the paper bag I was carrying. “See the largest ice-cream cup in there? That’s for Will.”

 

I found Sabrina at Mr. Winter’s. She, Stephanie, and Hannah stood in the pen, their feet being attacked by six little bundles of fluff.

As I walked toward them, Stephanie nudged Sabrina in the side to alert her to the fact that I was approaching. When she saw me, her face fell. Even the dogs sensed that something was up, because all of them except for one scattered away. Sabrina scooped up the pup that remained by her feet and cuddled him to her face as I kept walking. The sight of her hugging the dog reminded me of how I’d clutch Teddy when I needed some support.

Since I was confronting the three goons, I decided that an overt apology might cause them to gang up on me. You never knew what would set off a gaggle of high school girls. Then I realized that I had
three
ice-cream sundaes with me.

“Hey, guys,” I said, my voice sounding a little froggy.

They didn’t respond. Stephanie narrowed her eyes at me in a clear sign of disapproval over the coat I was wearing.

I swallowed and gathered my courage. “Sabrina, I didn’t get a chance to tell you that I thought your dress last night was spectacular.”

Now they were looking at me like I was an alien being or something. But no matter, I plunged ahead.

“Here.” I thrust the bag at them. “I made you all some ice-cream sundaes.”

Sabrina looked cautiously at the other girls before extending a tentative hand and taking the bag from me.

“Are you trying to poison me or something?” she finally asked.

“Oh gosh, no!” I continued on bravely. “If I used my mother’s ice cream as a murder weapon, she’d never let me out of the house again.”

I noticed that Hannah smiled a little, which bolstered my courage. “I just thought, you know, the break was almost over, and that we all needed something to enjoy before school started up again. So, you know. That’s it.”

After a silent few moments, I figured they didn’t know what to make of me and my gifts. Finally I realized that I couldn’t make it any more normal by staring at them. “Well, see you guys around.” I waved and headed back the way I came.

“Hey,” I heard Sabrina call out to me.

When I turned around, she said, “Congrats on the Best Costume thing. You totally deserved it.”

I smiled. “Thanks!”

She nodded. “Tell Abby I said the clothes were perfect.”

 

I had to go back to Snow Cones to make two more Apology Sundaes. When I got there, Jake was waiting at the counter. He was wearing a dark-green, crewneck sweater and khaki pants. My heart started pounding. Knowing what I had to do made me nervous and sad. I’d never broken up with anyone before. I suddenly sympathized with him for avoiding breaking up with me in person. It wasn’t fun
at all
.

I walked behind the counter and began filling a dish with ingredients as he sat and watched me work. His expression was one of suspicion.

We didn’t say much until I’d finished and slid the metal dish to him. When he caught my eye, I could see by the sadness in his face that he knew what was about to happen.

“Jake, I—”

“Just don’t say it, okay?”

“Okay.”

“What’s this one?” He lifted his spoon and dipped it into the ice cream. His shy smile caused the dimples in his cheeks to reveal themselves. He was so completely cute, and yet, I knew very well that my stomach had zero butterflies in it.

“Apology Sundae,” I said matter-of-factly.

He took a bite. “What’s the key component of saying ‘I’m sorry’?”

“Vanilla ice cream.”

He laughed a bit. “I thought you were going to say the Snickers bars.”

“Nah,” I said. “The Snickers are there to make the apology go down easy.”

He placed his spoon on the table. “Should I apologize first or you?”

I leaned over and patted his hand. “Maybe we should apologize at the same time.”

“Okay. One, two, three—”

We each said, “I’m sorry,” and then I laughed and squeezed his hand.

“We’re leaving tomorrow.”

“I know,” I said to him.

“I’m really sorry about everything.”

“Just eat your ice cream.”

 

That left one dish of ice cream for me to give, but when it came time for me to put it together, I decided that an Apology Sundae wasn’t the right approach. When I finally made a shake that said exactly what I wanted to say, I set off. This time I knew exactly where to go. I didn’t need Erin or anybody to guide me to Mount Crow.

At first, Will was a speck at the top of the mountain, but I knew it was him. Nobody in town could leap into the air as high as he could, and the navy suit was a dead giveaway. There were a few people at the bottom of the mountain near where I was standing who cheered and whooped watching his display, and I couldn’t help but feel proud of him. He deserved people’s cheers. He was good at what he did.

He didn’t see me when he got to the bottom of the mountain. I supposed that it was his white coat I was wearing. It
did
blend into the scenery.

“Will!” I called out.

He turned at the sound of my voice and when he saw it was me, his face split into a grin and he ripped his goggles off of his face. His cheeks were vibrantly red from the exertion. His head was covered in a navy knit cap, and from the moment he looked at me, there were flocks of butterflies alight in my stomach. I felt my face burst into a smile.

He was taken aback by my happy exterior and scrunched his face up at me. “You just break Sabrina’s legs or something?”

I shook my head. “Just happy to see you.” It was the most honest thing I’d ever said in my whole life.

He snapped his feet from his board, kicked it up so that he could catch it with his left hand, and stepped closer to me. For once, he seemed speechless, so I thrust the large paper cup at him. I’d put a red straw in it.

“I didn’t realize you delivered,” he said.

“For my very special customers.”

“Are you going to tell me what it is?”

I raised my shoulders and dropped them. “I think you have to find out for yourself.”

“I accept your challenge,” he said before taking a long sip.

“Good?” I asked eagerly.

“Delicious,” he concluded. “What is it?”

I took a step closer to him. “
That
is the new-and-improved, absolutely authentic Jessie Whitman Love Shake.”

His eyebrows shot up and I lowered my head in a fit of shyness. For a moment, I didn’t know who I thought I was!

Then he reached forward, picked up my hand, and pulled me forward so that we were standing very close to each other. He said softly, “Just for me?”

I raised my eyes to meet his and said, “Only for you.”

He looked into my eyes for a moment and then lifted the cup to me. “Let’s share it.”

I took a sip of the shake, and smiled at him before being overcome by a severe case of embarrassment. I lowered my head and he reached around to hug me. I finally found my voice, which wasn’t easy to do since my insides were so alive with happiness. “So I thought I’d hang on to your coat for a while.”

He leaned his forehead into mine, and said, “I wouldn’t have my girl wearing anything else. Come on, let’s get you a snowboard.”

He led me to the lodge, and as he did, I looked up into the sky and thought that there was nowhere I’d rather be.