Soldier On (31 page)

Tessa nods and walks toward me. She falls slowly to her knees and takes my hands in hers.

“See, you
do
have a plan. I should have known that you would.”

“Yes, you should’ve.” I smile down at her. “Now get off the floor before you make your water break or something.”

“I don’t think that can happen yet. The baby is the size of a plum.”

We laugh and help each other to our feet.

“To thank you for helping me pack, I’m taking you out to lunch.”

Her eyes brighten. “Ooh, can we get pancakes?”

“Pancakes? Is this one of those weird pregnancy cravings?”

“Must be. I want pancakes all the time. And baked beans.”

I make a face. “I hope not at the same time.”

“Had both for dinner last night.”

“Gag.”

“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it, Steph.”

We laugh and head out the door. As I drive us to the nearest breakfast place, I can’t help but wonder if this might be the last lunch we’ll have together before graduation. It’s just a few weeks away, and between finals and packing, neither of us have a lot of free time. Once we have our degrees, Tessa will be headed to Chicago with Xavier and I’ll be . . . well, I don’t know where I’ll be. Normally that would scare the crap out of me, but all I feel is hopeful.

Good things are coming, and for the first time in my life, I’m excited that I have absolutely no idea what that means. Maybe that’s because I know that, regardless of where I am, I’ll still be his, and Brandon will still be mine.

That knowledge makes me brave.

Brave enough to try baked beans with my pancakes, much to my best friend’s absolute delight.

Later that evening, I call Mom to give her the date and time of our graduation. She and Brandon talk for a few minutes before telling each other goodnight. After handing me the phone, he kisses my forehead and then calls for Bangle. The cat leaps out of my lap and follows him down the hallway.

“You know, out of all the surprises this semester, I have to say my cat’s growing affection for Brandon has to be the most unexpected of all.”

“Getting close are they?”

“They cuddle now.”

Mom laughs. “I can’t believe it’s only a week until graduation. You’re all packed?”

“Pretty much. Everything that can be packed is boxed up and ready to go.” I cradle the phone close to my ear and take a deep breath. “I . . . kinda wanted to talk to you about where to store them.”

“I assumed you’d bring them home.”

“You did?”

“Of course.”

I breathe a sigh of relief.

“Are you coming home with them?”

“I actually wanted to talk to you about that, too”

So I tell her about my plan to live with her throughout the summer, and to hold off on applying for a job until I know the location of Brandon’s post.

“And if you can’t go with him?” she asks.

“Then I’ll apply for jobs in and around Indianapolis. And I’ll find my own apartment.”

She laughs. “Steph, you’re welcome to live with me for as long as you want. You know I miss having you around.”

“But?”

“Well, I am a little concerned about you putting your life on hold.”

“You did it for Dad.”

The words are out before I can stop them, but I wouldn’t take them back even if I could. After my conversation with Tessa this afternoon, I expected the same from my mom.

“You’re right, I did.”

“Do you regret that decision?”

“No, because it gave me you.”

I fumble with the chain around my neck. I’ve stopped hiding it beneath my clothes. It’s always visible now, and always around my neck. I only take it off to sleep. I’m too afraid it’ll become tangled and break.

“Mom, I don’t see this as me putting my life on hold. I’m just waiting a few months. Once we find out where he’ll be on a permanent basis, then I’ll decide what to do.”

She grows silent, which is unusual for my mom. She’s never been shy about voicing her disapproval.

“Mom, do you remember at the beginning of this semester when you asked me to do something adventurous before I devote the rest of my life to my teaching career?”

“Vaguely,” she mutters, but I know better. Mom never forgets a thing.

“I love him, Mom.”

“I know you do.”

“Just the fact that I am in love is an adventure. The fact that I’m in love with a soldier is the ultimate adventure.”

“No, that’s a miracle.”

We both laugh.

“Mom, we want to be together. I hope I can go with him. We can’t live together, but we could at least be in the same town. If I can’t, I’ll cross that bridge when I get there, but for now, I am trying to have faith. I’m placing my hopes in the hands of the military gods that he gets a good post. For me, that’s about as adventurous as it gets.”

Mom chuckles softly. “I must say, it sounds like you have it all planned out.”

“I have it as planned out as I can. I’ll deal with the rest when it comes.”

After we hang up, I turn off the lights and head to our bedroom. Brandon’s fast asleep, with Bangle curled around his feet. I change out of my clothes and slip on one of his shirts . . . a khaki tee, with
Army Strong
printed across the chest. I slip my dad’s ID tags over my head and place them gently on top of the dresser.

With the light spilling in through the curtains, I’m able to catch my reflection in the dresser mirror. I gaze thoughtfully at the girl in the glass. On the outside, she’s not really all that different from the girl she was at the beginning of the semester. Her hair’s a little longer and she’s lost a few pounds, but other than that, she’s the same girl.

On the outside.

But on the inside, there has been a seismic shift. In her attitude, her personality, and in her faith. She’s let go of the bitter chain she carried for far too long, allowing her to open her eyes and her heart to the type of man she never imagined she could love, but now, can’t imagine living without.

Stephanie James has finally grown up.

As I climb into bed and snuggle deep into Brandon’s arms, I can’t help but think that’s what college is really all about. It’s not just a bunch of classes and parties. It’s not just sports and lectures. It’s about finding the person you’re meant to be.

And if you’re lucky, the person you’re meant to be with.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Brandon

Graduation.

Some people never have one.

A few of my friends back in Applewood dropped out before graduating high school. Of those who did make it, most of them didn’t go on to college. A lot of them started working in the mines, which is one of the hardest jobs in the world. Some found minimum wage jobs in our little town, or moved to nearby places like Pikeville or Hazard, hoping to find work. Other friends disappeared completely, and I haven’t seen them since walking across the stage of Applewood High.

As I prepare for my second graduation of the day—my ROTC Commissioning Ceremony—I can’t help but think about my mother. In just a few minutes, I will no longer be a cadet. I will be commissioned as a second lieutenant in the United States Army, and she’s not here to see it.

Would she be proud? I have no idea.

I’ve spent so much time
not
thinking about her that it surprises me that today would be the day I’d feel her absence the most. She’s missing so much. She didn’t see me receiving my bachelor’s degree this morning. She missed watching the woman I love receive hers. And she’ll never meet her beautiful granddaughters.

I fasten the last button on my uniform and look at myself in the full-length mirror.

It’s time to stop wasting time and energy feeling sorry for the choice she made.

I join my fellow cadets, and we shake each other’s hands before forming a line and entering the small auditorium. Six of us are being commissioned today. This graduation is low-key but still formal, with about fifty guests sitting in the audience. Behind them, the remaining cadets sit in their Class A uniforms.

As the colonel welcomes everyone to the ceremony, I scan the room in search of my family. Christian and the girls are in the third row, and sitting next to them is my father, smiling proudly in his uniform. Dr. Edsall reminded us it was a risk, him making the five-hour trip to Indiana just for a pinning ceremony, but I wanted him here, and in his most lucid moments, he
wanted
to be here. If all goes well, he’ll have a very important role today.

So far, so good.

Tessa and Xavier are here, too. They both graduated this morning—she with her degree in Culinary Arts and Xavier with his in Sports Management. Tomorrow, they’re off to Chicago, but they wanted to stay for my ROTC ceremony. They’ve become two of my best friends, and they constantly remind me that blood doesn’t make you family.

And of course there’s Steph, in a black dress and a pair of killer heels that make me wonder why she doesn’t wear heels more often. She’s sitting next to my dad, holding his hand. Cynthia, her mom, is right by her side.

Another reminder that blood doesn’t make you family.

The colonel asks us to stand and raise our right hand. One by one, we repeat after him, taking our oath of office as appointed second lieutenants in the United States Army.

“Cadet Walker will now be pinned by his father, Major General Bruce Walker, and his sister, Ms. Christian Young.”

I stand stock still while my sister helps Dad to the front of the stage. Stepping forward, I smile at them as the colonel begins to speak once again.

“Brandon Lee Walker graduates today as both a distinguished military graduate and Magna Cum Laude with a Bachelor of Science degree in Computer Engineering. He is receiving the United States Army commission of second lieutenant and will attend Signal Corps Training at Fort Gordon this summer.”

While the colonel tells the audience my future goals, during and after my military service, my dad, steady and strong, pins my insignia to each of my shoulders. He takes a step back, his eyes ghosting over my uniform while my sister hugs me. When she steps away, I look to my father once again and wonder if he even knows where he is. If he recognizes me. If he understands the significance of this moment—to him and to me.

Suddenly, his face turns stoic and his body is ramrod straight as he lifts his hand to his brow.

And then he salutes me.

My eyes swim with tears as I lift my hand to salute my father.

There’s applause, but it’s all white noise, because my dad steps closer to me. With his eyes shining with clarity, he smiles before wrapping his arms around me, hugging me tightly.

“I’m proud of you, Brandon,” he whispers, his voice full of emotion.

In that moment, I know he
is
here . . . alert and aware. Proud and happy. And he just hugged me. I can’t remember the last time my dad hugged me.

And that makes today one of the best days of my life.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN