Somebody to Love: Sigh With Contentment, Scream With Frustration. At Time You Will Weep. (35 page)

Mark nodded. ‘Good.’ So far, he thought. Now, how to approach the subject of food? He thought about saying that Starbuck needed to eat to get well. But then, if the dog didn’t eat, wouldn’t that be telling Karl that he wasn’t going to get well?

‘Poor Starbuck has a tummy pain, doesn’t he, Karl?’ Mark decided on a different tack.

Karl didn’t answer this time.

‘Does Karl have a tummy pain?’ Mark asked, hoping in a backwards way that Karl just might have some rumblings in there from lack of food.

Karl said nothing, but pressed both hands against his diaphragm, which Mark took as an affirmative.

‘I think Starbuck’s tummy pain might be worse because he’s hungry, Karl. I think Karl might be hungry, too. Shall we see if we can eat something, Karl?’

‘Shall we see if we can eat something, Starbuck?’ Karl said, easing the duvet away from the dog.

Relating to the dog without doubt. Mark almost fell back on his haunches. ‘I think Starbuck might be more comfortable staying where he is, Karl,’ he said, quickly, not wanting to disturb him. ‘Dad will go and get us some food, okay?’

Mark headed for the door, relieved, then pretty damn pleased when he heard Karl say, ‘Dad will get us some food, Starbuck.’

Forty minutes later, Mark was ready to go to phase two of operation persuasion. Starbuck would be having a general anaesthetic, so he’d have to starve him tomorrow, but Mark thought that all the more reason to try and get some sustenance down the dog today. He’d taken a little chicken and rice from him yesterday, so Mark was hoping he might now, which just might encourage Karl to eat something.

‘Here we go,’ he said, going back to the lounge with boiled chicken and rice mixed up in the dog bowl and his speciality, gluten-free fried chunky-chicken and rice on Karl’s plate, portions carefully separated, as usual.

‘Karl’s dinner.’ Mark set the plate on a smoothed bit of the duvet for Karl. ‘And Starbuck’s dinner, which as Starbuck’s so well tucked-up,’ he knelt in front of the dog, ‘Dad is going to feed to him. Which bit do you fancy, Starbuck?’

Mark mentally crossed his fingers and plucked up a tender bit of chicken. ‘Good, hey?’ He smiled as the dog sniffed, caught it between his teeth, then swallowed.

‘What was that, Starbuck? You want more rice with it?’ Mark cocked his head. ‘No problem. I’ll just give a good stir and…’ He made a great show of stirring the food, then offered it to Starbuck, one eye on Karl as he did so.

‘Good boy, Starbuck.’ Mark sighed, relieved, when the dog took the food.

Then almost died as Karl stirred his food.

****

Bouncing through her last Monday in the office while Sadie was safely back home, Donna was going some way to erasing the awfulness of the weekend. She was quite looking forward to getting to the respite home, she decided, giving Jean, who was on the phone vis-à-vis actual work this time, a smile and blowing Simon a kiss as she left.

She was certainly looking forward to seeing how little Karl was getting on, whether putting on his shoes had become a part of his morning ritual. Getting a glimpse of his dad wouldn’t be too hard to cope with either. Donna felt that little flip in her chest again, like the soft flutter of butterfly’s wings. She probably wouldn’t though. Dr Lewis said that Jody usually picked Karl up in the evenings. Still, it would be nice to meet Jody properly. She couldn’t believe how wrong she’d been about her.

About Mark. She smiled, recalling how he’d staggered into the pub with Sadie, looking pleased with himself despite being covered in dog hair and mud, then straightened her face when she recalled what he’d said before he’d gone down from the bedroom to speak to Matt:
I care very much about you. I know now’s probably not a good time, but
… what was he going to say after the “
but’?
I don’t think we should see each other anymore?

Donna had a little chew on her lip as she drove to the respite home. Had she lost him, her white knight in blue? And he had been. How selfless was a man who’d changed the bed linen, knowing she wouldn’t want to sleep on sheets a stranger had touched? A man who’d put her lingerie through the washer, remembering to set the cycle to
delicates
? A man who, after a sleepless night, had looked for, located and brought her dog home, the loss of whom in such circumstances would truly have broken her heart.

She’d thought Mark would be the heart-breaker. Too good-looking, too perfect not to be. He wouldn’t have been. The gloss might have worn off a little, eventually, but he wasn’t bad at the core. Donna realised that now, now that she’d pushed him away, almost accused him. What a terrible thing to do, after all Mark had done. But then, her home had been invaded and her brain so addled she couldn’t think straight. Donna tried to forgive herself, though she doubted Mark could.

Simon, bless him, had been aghast at the news of the burglary, fussing over her and bringing her
two
chocolate biccies with her tea. Then so agog he’d nearly fallen off his chair when she’d mentioned,
en passant
, that she’d woken to find a semi-naked policeman sleeping in her bed. Then so puzzled, he’d wondered if she wanted to
confide
when she said she hadn’t actually slept with Mark.

Jean, partaking of girl-talk for the first time ever, thought Donna right to take things slowly.

Slowly
? Donna had sighed, then had a little confide — in mean-Jean of all people, that she’d managed to actually move things backwards.

He might well have decided to move on. Donna’s buoyant mood deflated as she pulled into the respite home car park. She hadn’t been able to reach him on his mobile, via text or voice message and she didn’t do telepathy. She couldn’t blame him if he had. The man had enough problems without her: a demanding job, single parent to an autistic child. Could she ever have been more self-centred?

Donna tried his mobile one last time, once she’d parked. She took a deep breath when he invited her to leave a message and went for it, hoping to move things backwards to a place where they might have been able to move forward, had he not tripped over another policeman in her bedroom.

‘Hi, Mark, it’s me again,’ she said, trying to sound cheery, ‘the neurotic dog-lover who tends to make things terribly complicated. Um, not sure what to say now.’ Donna paused, wondering how daft she was going to sound. Did it matter? If she’d lost him, she’d lost him, and it really didn’t matter how she sounded.

She steeled herself and went on, ‘The thing is, I was wondering if I could take up your kind suggestion to, um, have another bash at it? No demands on each other we can’t cope with, obviously. You can’t, I mean,’ she clarified, not wanting him to think she was still totally focussed on her, ‘with little Karl and work, and…’
Stop babbling, idiot.
‘Can we, do you think? Take it one day at a time, possibly? Call me, sometime anyway, whatever. Byeee.’

She ended on as upbeat a note as he could, tugged up the shoulders and went on in to the respite home, determined to be a friend to Karl in a world where, even if you didn’t recognise you’d got friends, you certainly needed them.

‘Hey, Donna.’ Dr Lewis waved at her, from where he was talking to a technically-savvy child, destined to be a whiz-kid in the world of communication by satellite.

Donna waved back, had a quick word with one of the key-workers who wanted some help painting the props for a role-play game, then went straight over to Karl.

‘Hello, Karl,’ she said, having noticed he’d retreated to his own space, in the obvious absence of his furry best friend. ‘Can I play with your bricks, please?’ She seated herself carefully next to him on the floor, aware that Karl had only recently learnt the concept of sharing, thanks to Starbuck’s help in integrating him with other children.

Karl didn’t say anything, but didn’t object.

Donna set to building a skyscraper next to his. ‘Where’s your best-friend, Starbuck, today, Karl?’ she asked, after a moment.

‘Starbuck’s not well,’ Karl offered, without hesitation.

Oh, Lord. Of course Starbuck wasn’t well. She’d known he wasn’t. And she, too preoccupied with her own problems, hadn’t given it another moment’s thought.

God, sometimes she was so…

Donna chose her moment to have a quick word with Dr Lewis and learned that Starbuck was being operated on that very afternoon.

‘Fairly routine operation, I gather. Removal of an intestinal obstruction,’ Dr Lewis said, helping to get children who were going home coated and ready to leave. ‘Should be right as rain in no time. Karl does seem a bit lost without… Whoa, Jamie, give it back.’ Dr Lewis stopped and went off after another little boy to avert an impending crisis.

‘Thank God,’ Donna breathed, relieved, then proceeded to worry. So why hadn’t Mark returned any of her calls? Even assuming it was routine, he’d know that she’d find out if she were here at the respite home. That she might be concerned.

Unless he was on hush-hush op possibly? Or somewhere else no mobiles were allowed. A meeting perhaps? A hospital? Police were often called there. But then, it could be that he didn’t want to return her calls, of course. Donna decided not to dwell on that.

Half an hour later — and two masterpieces produced by Karl depicting his furry best friend, Karl was still waiting to be collected.

‘Most odd,’ Dr Lewis commented, furrowing his brow. ‘Jody’s rarely late, and when she is, Mark always… that will probably be one of them now,’ he said, heading for the ringing telephone.

He came back looking further troubled.

‘Problem?’ Donna asked, looking up from Karl’s new artistic endeavour, depicting Donna’s three-legged best friend.

‘Jody,’ Dr Lewis confirmed. ‘Her mum’s taken a turn for the worse, which means we have a problem. She can’t get a hold of Mark, apparently.’

‘Oh.’ Donna’s
oh
was definitely a worried one now.

‘I’d better ring the university, cancel the lecture I’m giving and take Karl over to the accommodation block to wait. Can’t leave young Karl here on his own, can we, Karl?’ Dr Lewis said, heading back to the phone.

‘Karl doesn’t like being on his own,’ Karl piped up, still studiously crayoning.

‘Definitely progress.’ Dr Lewis smiled at Donna as he dialled.

‘I could take him across and stay with him,’ Donna offered. ‘It’s a bit short notice to cancel a whole lecture, isn’t it? Or maybe…’ she had a think as to a more suitable alternative than a place Karl wasn’t that familiar with ‘… take Karl on home maybe?’

‘That’s very kind of you, Donna, but I’m not sure Karl would be comfortable going into a strange environment, particularly without Starbuck.’

‘No, no, I meant Karl’s home, assuming I can get a key, which I think I can. And, um, I have an idea that Karl might come with me if…’

****

‘Well, I never…’ Dr Lewis looked on in wonder as Karl slipped neatly into the backseat of Donna’s car next to Sadie. ‘You’re a natural, Donna O’Connor. Have a gold star.’

‘Thank you.’ Donna gave him a mini-curtsey, before climbing in the driver’s side.

‘No, thank
you
.’ Dr Lewis smiled his appreciation. ‘You, too, Matt. I wish my teenage son was half so accommodating occasionally.’

‘You need to work on the eyelashes.’ Matt imparted his mother’s powers of persuasion, fluttering Donna-like beguiling lashes as he headed towards the passenger side.

‘I’ll work on it.’ Dr Lewis had a quick blink. ‘Okay, guys.’ He patted the car roof, seeing them off. ‘I’ll keep trying to get a hold of Mark. He has my mobile anyway, but I’m thinking he doesn’t know there’s been a hitch with Jody if she hasn’t been able to reach him. He’ll probably be relieved to find Karl’s at home. Check in with you later, Donna.’

Donna gave him a wave and pulled off, not sure Mark would be pleased to find the whole world and its dog at his house, including her troublesome self, but at least Karl would be safe in familiar surroundings.

****

‘Hello, young man.’ Robert, Donna assumed, greeted Karl as they piled out of the car outside Mark’s house. ‘Hello, Gem…’ He squinted at Donna. ‘You’re not Gemma.’

‘Gemma?’ Donna glanced curiously at Evelyn.

‘Oh, dear.’ Evelyn shook her head resignedly.

Obviously expecting her to turn into a suspicious, slitty-eyed monster. Well, she wasn’t going to. Donna adopted her serene
woman of substance
expression. Gemma could be anyone. His… Donna tried to give her a label that hadn’t already been taken by women in Mark’s life… gardener?

‘Oh, no, Gemma’s the old one.’ Robert nodded to himself.

‘Old?’ Donna mouthed at her mum.

‘Previous,’ Evelyn translated.

‘Ah.’ Donna nodded enlightened, then narrowed her eyes. ‘Previous what?’

‘Childminder, Donna.’ Evelyn sighed. ‘Which is why Dot and I got confused about Jody’s role in Mark’s life. Robert thought she was called Gemma, who was actually Jody’s pre-de… Oh, never mind.’ She stopped, as Donna knitted her ever-perplexed brow. ‘Suffice it to say she and Mark were never an item.’

‘Is this the latest girl, then?’ Robert eyed Donna interestedly. ‘I must say he does seem to get through them.’

‘Childminders, Donna,’ Evelyn supplied patiently.

‘Think he’d settle down with one or the other, wouldn’t you.’ Robert pondered. ‘I quite liked that young, slim one myself. What was her name? Ah, yes, Rachel.’

‘Rachel?’ Donna looked at her mum, boggle-eyed.

‘I have no idea.’ Evelyn eyed the skies.

‘Then there was… who was it? Kath —’

‘Yes, thank you, Robert.’ Evelyn gave him a swift nudge. ‘This is Donna, my daughter. Currently
seeing
Mark.’

‘Ah.’ Robert smiled. ‘Oh.’ He looked a bit sheepish. ‘Well, why didn’t you say so?’

‘I did, one or two thousand times.’ Evelyn turned to the house with a weary sigh. ‘Honestly, Robert. Do try and keep up.’

‘Right you are.’ Robert saluted, and scooted after her. ‘I’d never have thought she was your daughter.’ He mused. ‘Pretty girl, isn’t she?’

‘Idiot man.’ Evelyn marched on.

Bemused, Donna watched them all troop towards Mark’s house: Matt sloping along holding Karl’s hand, who was holding firm to the lead of her three legged dog; followed by the odd couple, and decided Mark might do well to avoid coming home.