Something Had to Give (21 page)

The next few days were hectic. In between exams, I had to find a storage room for my stuff since I was no longer going home and only wanted to take clothes to Shanna’s with me. Finding a small storage room seemed near to impossible since I had started looking so late. I got so frustrated with the whole process that I ended up renting a room that was large enough to fit furniture from a two-bedroom home for my stuff that only took up a corner. With the price they were charging me, I was tempted to go around campus asking if anyone needed a place to store their furniture for the summer to help with the cost. The ride back to campus calmed me down and I was able to convince myself that this was not something that should ruin my day. It was also the last day that I had to spend with Eric and I didn’t want to spend that time in a bad mood.

Though Eric understood my reasons for choosing to go to Chattanooga, he still wasn’t happy about me being so far away for the summer. I did feel bad, knowing that he didn’t have a good family support besides his mother. He didn’t say it, but it was obvious that he felt like I was abandoning him. I tried to encourage him to find a job for the summer or to enroll in classes since he was going to be local, but he didn’t seem to be interested in either suggestion. I found it hard to imagine that he was going to spend the whole summer doing nothing, but I didn’t know what else to suggest to him. I wanted to ask him to go with me to Shanna’s but I knew she wouldn’t go for it since she didn’t know him and I doubted that my parents would either. When it was time for me to leave him I knew he was trying to stay positive, but I felt like he was mad at me and it made me feel guilty. It was like he was looking for me to save him, but I honestly had no clue what else I could do for him. I felt terrible.

I left for Chattanooga at 6am the next morning. The plan was to leave at 8, but I was having such a hard time sleeping, I figured I might as well get up and get on the road. I tried to call Eric before I left but got no answer, which was strange to me even if it was pretty early in the morning. I knew he was ignoring me. I didn’t want to leave on a bad note, so I decided to stop by his room and make sure he was OK and that we were OK. At the stop sign where I could turn right to go to his suite or straight to leave campus, something stopped me from making that turn. My mind was telling me to make that turn but I also wanted to give him his space if that was what he wanted. I hated the way I felt and not knowing if I was making the right decisions. I started to feel angry as I thought about how he was acting. He was putting a lot of pressure on me and was apparently mad at me when I didn’t do anything wrong. The nerve of him. Breathe Cheryl, Breathe. I didn’t want to start my summer vacation in an irritable mood. All I could do at that point was let the situation be. I couldn’t let Eric’s little temper tantrum get me so worked up. I rolled down the windows and turned up the music and promised myself that I would not feel guilty anymore.

All was good for the first half of the trip. After I hit the five-hour mark, the lack of sleep hit me. I wanted to pull over and shut my eyes for about an hour. Instead I stopped at the next gas station to use the bathroom, stretch, and grab a coke. I hoped that it would wake me for the remainder of the trip. I didn’t want to stop anymore, so I only took a few swigs. It didn’t seem like much at that time compared to how tired I felt, but it certainly did the trick. Two and a half hours later I arrived at Shanna’s door. I was still tired, but I was still glad to be there. Evidently, she was just as glad. She talked nonstop as soon as I got in the door about all the plans she had for us beginning that evening. It all sounded like fun but I was just too tired to do much of anything at that moment. She seemed disappointed but seemed to understand. I was relieved to be able take a short nap to rejuvenate myself.

The sound of laughter from the living room woke me up from my sleep. What was supposed to be just a short nap had turned into me being asleep for hours. When I woke and looked at the clock it was after 7pm. I couldn’t believe I was that tired, but I definitely felt refreshed. Before heading out to the living room, I tried to call Eric and could only laugh when it rang until the voicemail picked up. Since I didn’t want to let on to how annoyed I was getting with him, I left a very nice and calm message along with the number to reach me at Shanna’s. I told myself that if he didn’t call back, I wasn’t going to try to contact him anymore. We were too old for the games he was playing.

Coming out the spare bedroom, it was no surprise to see that Craig was there cuddled up on the couch with Shanna.

“Look who finally decided to wake up.”

“About time.” Shanna chimed in. “I thought you were going to sleep through the night.”

“I didn’t realize how tired I was. You guys should have woken me up a long time ago.”

“If you’re anything like Shanna when she doesn’t get her rest, it was best you stay asleep.” Craig and I both laughed at this comment. Shanna was not amused.

Quickly changing the subject, Shanna suggested we go out and get some dinner, which sounded great to me since I hadn’t eaten since mid-morning. It also gave me a chance to somewhat see the city and places nearby that I could apply to work at for the summer. Shanna had never had a lot of good things to say about the area, but it didn’t look too bad to me when I was driving in. However, everything close to Shanna’s apartment was either a fast food place or retail clothing store. I emphatically did not want to do either of those. I mentally made plans to get out the next day and venture out farther from Shanna’s place to see what else I could find. One thing that I did see that was good was that there was a hospital just ten minutes from her apartment, which would be convenient if I could get on as a volunteer. I was so deep in thought that I didn’t even realize that we had arrived at the restaurant.

“You coming in or should we bring your food out here for you to eat?” I had known Craig for some time now and never knew he was such a funny guy.

“Very funny, you should consider a part-time job as a comedian.”

“Nah, no one would be able to afford me.”

We ended up at the Terminal Brew House, a place that I had heard Shanna talk about on several occasions. I was finally able to see what the fuss was all about. Shanna and Craig were obviously regulars and didn’t even have to look at the menu before ordering a pizza to share and a couple of beers. There was so much that sounded good that the decision wasn’t that easy for me. I finally decided on the salmon cakes and sweet potato fries. Salmon cakes were something that Eric loved. He had convinced me to try them one Sunday morning that we went out for brunch. My mind instantly began to wonder what he was doing, if he was thinking of me, and mostly if he was OK. Craig and Shanna were too busy enjoying their beers to notice I was in my own thoughts. Those two together were quite a sight to see. They were so wrapped up in each other that it was like I wasn’t even there. It was like no one else in rest of the restaurant was there. I can’t say that it really bothered me, but I knew I did not want to spend my summer being the third wheel. I needed to find a job ASAP.

The next morning I was up and at them. I heard Shanna moving around getting dressed for her internship and decided not to waste time. It was just before 7am and I was surprised that Shanna was up so early considering how much she had drank the night before. She and Craig both had three beers at dinner, which surprised me that Shanna drank that much since I had never seen her drink before. That was just their warm up apparently. When we got back to the apartment, they pulled out the “good stuff” from her pantry that had a shelf dedicated to liquor. She was of age and didn’t seem to show signs of being an alcoholic; yet seeing her drink so much was a little alarming to me. Even more surprising was the fact that she was offering me drinks. It was tempting for maybe half a second until I remembered the night Jackie died, how Daniel acted when drinking, and the stories Eric told me about the drinkers in his family. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. It wasn’t long before their antics started to annoy me. Not wanting to be a party pooper, I endured it until it just got completely ridiculous and I went on to bed.

The fact that Shanna was up bright and early made me wonder if it was a regular habit for her. However, I had to keep in mind that she was an adult and it wasn’t my place to worry about it or question her. When I came out the room to head to the shower, Shanna looked just as surprised to see me up, as I was to see that she was up.

“You’re getting up already?”

“Yep, I figured I would get an early start and go by the hospital to apply for volunteer positions and then go and look for other jobs.”

“Oh, ok well don’t get lost.

I just smiled at her last comment and continued on my way to bathroom when she stopped me.

“By the way, when I checked the voicemail this morning there was a message from Eric.” Her words stopped me in my tracks. I had been so caught up in the shenanigans of the night before that I didn’t even think to ask Shanna to check for messages. Shanna could obviously tell this was information I had been waiting to hear and had to egg things on.

“He said he looooves you and misses you oh so much.”

Between snickers she added that the message was saved and the password was her birthday. I didn’t want to seem like I was jumping to listen and call him back so I gave a calm “OK” over my shoulder as I continued on to the bathroom. It was after my shower that I listened to Eric’s voicemail that was nothing even close to the sweet message Shanna had teased me over. He was actually pretty dry. It seemed like he was leaving a message just to say he did. It made me not want to call back, but I did since I was trying not to be petty. By this time it was a quarter till 8 and I knew he was probably still asleep but I called anyway hoping that he knew it would be me calling and answer. No such luck.

∞∞∞

My first stop was Memorial Hospital, where I had trouble finding out where to park and then once inside, where to go. Instead of wasting time wandering around, I stopped at the information desk to ask the receptionist. She was a sweet older lady who wrote down the directions to the volunteer office and even offered to walk me there. I declined thinking that surely I could follow her written directions with no problem. However, I ended up passing the office twice. When I finally figured it out, I met with a lady named Lou Ann, who was the Director of Volunteer Services. She invited me in to talk about what I was expecting and what was required. She seemed like a really nice lady but I felt like I was in the middle of a very intense job interview. It was a relief when the questioning stopped and she asked me to fill out the actual application. When I gave her the completed application she thanked me and told me she would be in contact after speaking to my references. I was sure that I wouldn’t hear back from her.

I was determined to keep a positive attitude though as I drove around looking for places that I wanted to apply to work. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do or where to go and found myself just driving in circles hoping a place would jump out at me. Finally, I pulled over to a parking lot and sat there trying to figure out my next move. When I looked up I realized I was in front of an H&M clothing store. I had been a longtime fan of their clothes and imagined that the discount would be great. I hesitated though, knowing that I just really didn’t want to do retail. What were my other options though? I didn’t even know where to start looking for an office job and didn’t want to spend weeks waiting on a call back. Besides, it was just for the summer, it couldn’t be that bad. The store was just opening when I walked in so it wasn’t busy. It was perfect timing to talk with the manager.

To my surprise, the manager was a young, good-looking guy named Jason. He looked to be my age and for a second I thought he was joking about being the manager. I was so taken aback by his looks that I saw his mouth moving, but was only able to nod in agreement. I couldn’t seem to form the words to respond. When I was able to regain my composure, I tuned in on him asking me to take a few minutes to fill out the application. The application wasn’t long and I was able to get it filled out fairly quickly. By this time, the store was slowly beginning to fill up with shoppers and I had no clue where Jason had gone. There were associates scattered throughout the store, but I wasn’t sure if I trusted them with the application while they were busy with other stuff. As I stood there blindly looking around for Jason, I heard a voice come up behind me.

“Are you all done with that?” It was Jason. He had appeared out of nowhere.

I wasn’t expecting him to just pop up behind me, but there he was looking and smelling like a million bucks. “Yes, I’m all done. I wasn’t sure if I was to leave it with one of the associates.”

“No, I’ll take it.” As he responded, he was reading over the application. I stood there awkwardly, wondering if I should wait or leave. I chose to wait. “When would you be able to start?”

“I’m available right away.” Again I was caught off guard. Was I being offered the job just like that?

“Great, come in Saturday at 9:30am and ask for me, I will get you set up with someone to train you.”

I agreed to meet Jason there in just two days and left the store. Once outside I let the smile out that had been itching to be released the minute I laid eyes on Jason. The fact that I was hired so quickly was an added bonus. I just needed to hear back from Lou Ann so that I could plan to volunteer on my days off. It seemed like a sure way to stay busy. I needed to stay as far away as possible from Shanna and Craig’s drunken love fests. Things were seemingly working out great right away and I was excited. I wasn’t sure what to do with the rest of my day. I had completed all I had set out for the day and it was barely lunchtime. Since I wanted to make a good first impression at the places I was applying at, I had dressed up in a skirt and blouse. With all my tasks completed, I could go home and change then find a place to have some lunch. Traffic seemed to be picking up and what should have been a 15-minute drive back to Shanna’s apartment took double the amount of time.