Something I Need (xoxo Nashville Book 1) (16 page)

Shit, it would be a miracle if he slept at all for the rest of the week. In the past, when he had the flashback dreams, they always tended to stick around and haunt him for a while.

He rolled out of bed, grabbed a T-shirt off the floor, and headed for the door.

Nannie was dressed in her usual Sunday attire, her favorite homemade floral apron covered her pretty aqua dress. Her hair was pulled off her face into a tight bun.

“Good morning,” she sing-songed, looking up from mixing what he assumed was banana bread. Every Sunday morning she made fresh banana bread to take to church for morning tea.

“Hey, Nannie.” Cash crossed the room and kissed her on the cheek.

“You look a little pale. Everything okay?”

Crap. He should have taken a shower before coming down. Cash filled up the kettle at the sink. “Everything’s fine.”

“Is the lovely Miss Jonte joining us this morning?”

“Nope.”

“Ah, that’s a shame. Pop was lookin’ forward to meeting her.” Nannie poured her batter into a tin and then set the tin on a baking tray.

“Maybe another time.” He shrugged noncommittedly.

“Yes, well there’s plenty of time for all that.”

Nannie smiled, seemingly happy at the thought. She bent down and slide the tray into the old stove.

Plenty of time? Was that a marriage dig? Christ, was he reading more into potentially random comments than he should?

Coffee. He needed coffee. Extra-strong coffee.

He’d finally arrived home around 3:30 a.m. this morning, so he was tired as well as strung out from the unwelcome flashback. The coffee burned as he chugged a mouthful down, not waiting for it to cool. He stole an apple out of the fruit bowl and then slid onto one of the stools at the counter.

“You seem anxious,” Nannie said.

“Do I?”

Nannie walked over and rested her hand on his knee, stilling it.

Shit. He hadn’t even realized it had been tapping away at a frantic speed.

“What’s going on, Cash?”

He hesitated. What exactly should he say? Should he tell her about the flashback dream, or would that unnecessarily worry her? Maybe he should just flat out ask about what she’d said to Jonte yesterday?

“The thing you said to Jonte yesterday…”

“Yes?” Nannie raised an eyebrow.

“About us getting married…”

“Heavens, Cash! Is that what has you wound up tighter than a girdle on a Baptist minister's wife at an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast?”

“A what on a…?”

“Never mind.” Nannie shushed him and waved her hand. “Why are you worried about that?”

“Did you really see that?”

“Hmph. I don’t like the implication behind that question.” There was no missing the indignation in her reply. She looked away, busying herself by wiping her hands on the front of her apron.

“Come on, Nannie, I know you tell people what you think they want to hear.”

“Oh, pish posh,” she said, waving her hand about again. “I only do that when people are too stupid to see what’s right in front of them.”

“So that doesn’t apply in this situation, then?”

“Cash, you are many things, but stupid you are not. It was what I saw, but you know that things can change. Things happen that shift the course of the universe, and of course you always have free will. Yes, I saw that yesterday, but who knows what I’d see if I grabbed Jonte’s hand today. Besides, would it be the worst thing in the world if you two ended up married one day?”

Cash’s plan was not to marry anyone, but if he had to marry someone, Jonte was the one he’d want. She was genuinely funny and kind and just a little bit crazy. Plus, their sex was phenomenal.

The two biggest problems with Jonte: she could decide she wanted to go home at any point, and her love of damn country music. If she did make it big, how the hell could he be supportive of her if it turned out he couldn’t watch her perform without having a meltdown?

Cash was so caught up in Nannie’s question, he didn’t realize she was now holding his hand.

“Oh, Cash,” she gasped.

“What?” he replied, startled, but then found his hand in hers. He quickly pulled it away and scooted off the stool. “I don’t wanna know,” he barked out.

Nannie knew damn well he hated her gift at the best of times, let alone when she used it to interfere in his own life. She’d had no right grabbing Jonte’s hand yesterday or his just now.

“When did the dreams start again?”

Cash threw his coffee mug into the sink and scrubbed it so aggressively water splashed over the counter and onto the floor. Christ, Nannie or Pop would probably slip and break a bone. Not a good thing, especially at their age. Damn it. He bent down to wipe the water off the wooden floor with the damp dish towel.

“Cash,” Nannie said more softly this time.

“Please, just leave it alone. Jonte, my mom, all of it!” Angry, but most of all confused, he stormed out of the kitchen and back up the stairs.

He knew he should go take a shower and probably call Tanner. They go could fishing or maybe work out in the gym at Tanner’s place. Either one of those options would have been productive. Instead, he slammed the door behind him and turned up the speakers on his iPod docking station. Nannie and Pop would be off to church soon anyway, so the music would only annoy them for a little while.

He flopped back down on the bed and tried to let Muse’s album “Live at Rome Olympic Stadium” block out everything that was swirling around inside his head. Matt Bellamy’s voice combined with the band’s melodies was almost otherworldly. It was just what he needed – an escape from this world, at least temporarily. Cash tucked his hands behind his head and shut his eyes, letting the music take him away.

J
onte floated towards him
. So beautiful. Her hands clutched a bouquet of cream lilies and the palest pink orchids, and she was dressed in the most ethereal dress. It had intricate cream and silver beading across the bust, with one of those necklines that caressed her skin like a heart. The floating effect was due to the hundreds, maybe thousands, of soft, sheer chiffon strips that fluttered down from her waist and danced along the floor each time she took a step closer towards him.

Amazing. But what was going on?

He looked around the space and realized they were inside Nannie’s church. It was filled with enormous flower arrangements that scented the air.

A handful of his family and closest friends were here with him, including Tanner and Dolly, who were standing next to him. Tanner wore a black three-piece suit with tails, the same as Cash’s own, and Dolly had a full-length baby pink Grecian one-shouldered dress with silver accents.

Oh. The image changed and morphed, pulling him away from the church. Now he and Jonte lay naked on a king-sized bed in a plush room. Actually, it wasn’t a room, but a hut, with wooden exposed beams and a thatched roof. A vast window spanned both the width and height of the room. Wow. They were somehow suspended above the most pristine aqua-colored water. On the small table next to the bed sat a bottle of champagne and an overflowing exotic fruit basket. Jonte leaned over, plucked a strawberry from the basket, and fed it to him. She poured champagne onto his chest and began leisurely licking it up.

Hell, yes. He was so on board with this.

Too soon he was pulled away again. Now he was in a sterile hospital room and dressed in those stupid green scrubs everyone hated. A constant blipping noise filled the air and a handful of people scurried around him. Jonte was cut open on an operating table; blood oozed as the silver scalpel slid through her porcelain skin, making his stomach queasy. What was happening? He watched the medical procedure intently, and soon a doctor was handing him an almost purple baby, half-draped in a white towel and covered in thick goop. “It’s a girl.”

The white hospital walls disappeared, and suddenly everything was pitch black. Shit. Cash knew exactly where he was this time – back in the car with his mom and Dolly, trapped in his nightmare flashback, except “I Walk the Line”
wasn’t playing like it was supposed to be. It was something else, but definitely country.

Cash looked more closely at the little girl next to him and realized it wasn’t actually Dolly. Her hair was much longer than Dolly’s had been, her features more delicate. The smile in the rear view mirror was Jonte’s, manic and rattled.

And then the car was swerving.

“I can’t do it anymore, I just can’t,” Jonte said.

The car jolted hard and crashed into a tree. Instead of being trapped in the car like he had been all those years ago, he could see everything, like he was watching from above. Jonte’s body crashed through the front windshield of the car on impact. Her bloody and mangled body sailed through the air, and she was impaled on a star picket fence post, the same way his mother had been all those years ago. But this time there was no little boy in the car, and the little girl had also removed her seat belt. Her tiny lifeless body lay crumpled and broken on the road.

“
N
o
! No! No!” Cash screamed, desperation consuming him and smothering his gasps as he thrashed about on the bed. He shot upright. Forget beads of sweat, he was drenched, fear seeping out of him by the gallon.

Real. It all felt too real. And easy. How easy would it be for him to marry Jonte and for everything he’d just seen to materialize?

He struggled to breathe, struggled to swallow, struggled to slow the beating of his shit-scared heart.

Sick. He was going to be sick.

He bolted to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet in time. The image of Jonte and the little girl, their little girl, completely lifeless was too much. Each time he hurled, he prayed the image would disappear. Somehow be purged or wiped from his mind.

When there was nothing left to bring up, Cash lay down on the cold, hard tiles.

Forget. Please, please forget.

But it was impossible. The scariest thing about the dream: what if it wasn’t a dream? What if it was a premonition of things to come?

* * *

J
onte woke
up refreshed and all blissed out. Yesterday had been absolutely perfect – almost all day spent with Cash and then singing and playing with the boys at the bar until the wee hours of the morning. Seb had offered her a ride home last night, and while she’d been hesitant about accepting, because she didn’t want to give him the wrong impression, she’d eventually given in.

On the way back to Dolly’s, Seb peppered her with questions. What she thought of the US? Did she miss her friends and family back home? How she’d met Cash and Dolly. He seemed especially interested in her friendship with Cash, even admitting to having been a little intimidated by the broody bar tender. Jonte laughed that off, saying Cash could be a little overwhelming, but was completely harmless.

He was a big softie underneath all that broodiness. Maybe her big softie.

Jonte rolled over in bed and plucked her cell off the bedside table. Ugh. She fell back onto her mountain of pillows. He hadn’t sent her any more messages.

Hmmm…would it be too eager if she messaged him first? Maybe. Or maybe it would make him smile. The man had the best smile. He gave them away so rarely, you really had to earn them. It was like he couldn’t risk using up his quota for the day.

Oh, what the hell.

Jonte:
Hey, it’s lonely in bed without you. What time will you be downstairs?

Should she add some kisses at the end of the text? Probably not. Sexy banter was likely okay, but anything more might freak him out. She lay in bed waiting for a reply. Maybe he was still asleep, or in the shower?

She smiled. Cash in the shower –
mmmm
…all that wet, hunky muscle. She tried calling him, but there was no answer. Damn. Not wanting to miss his call, she slid her cell into the pocket of her pajama pants and padded into the kitchen, in search of coffee and food.

“Hello, you.” Dolly sat at the breakfast bar sipping on a coffee. Her hair and makeup were already done and she was dressed in some black and leopard print high-low dress, and her small feet, wrapped up in a stunning pair of strappy stilettos, dangled from the stool.

Jonte smiled and waved and made a bee-line for the pot of coffee she saw on the counter.

“Late night?”

“Yeah.” Jonte nodded and poured coffee into a mug.

“How’s the job going?”

“Amazing.” She grinned, stirring sugar into her coffee. “I love it so much.”

“So where were
you
on Friday night?” Dolly arched her eyebrow, her tone implying she knew exactly where she’d been. Although that was impossible.

Jonte’s face flushed, but she was determined to play it cool. “Hmm, Friday? I was here, wasn’t I? Cash gave me a lift back from the bar.”

“If you say so,” Dolly sing-songed, sliding off the stool and grabbing her small sequined black clutch. “I’m catching up with Tanner for lunch, or brunch, whatever, seeing as we didn’t catch up yesterday. Do ya wanna join us?”

“No, thanks.” Jonte shook her head. “I’m not even close to being presentable.” She waved her hand at her messy hair and PJ’s.

“Okay. Catch ya later.”

“See ya.” Jonte waved as Dolly practically fluttered out of the apartment, and then got to work on breakfast.

Once her eggs were scrambled, she scooped them into a small bowl and soaked the pan. She wandered over and plopped onto the sofa with her eggs and coffee. Right, so she may have checked her cell again while the eggs were scrambling and again just now. It didn’t matter, there was still no reply from Cash.

After her late breakfast, Jonte busied herself with the things she’d neglected the past few days. She did a load of washing, cleaned the bathroom and the floor tiles in the kitchen with disinfectant, and vacuumed the rest of the apartment. Obviously the whole apartment wasn’t her responsibility, but she felt compelled to help out as much as possible, given how generous Dolly had been in letting her move in without requesting a bond and insisting she pay a ridiculously low amount of rent.

An hour later, the apartment was all shiny and spotless. Cash still hadn’t returned her call or sent a text, so Jonte decided to take a long soak in the tub to relax before she headed off to work. She’d purchased some scented fizzy bath bombs at the drug store the other day and dropped one into the steamy water as the bath filled up. It fizzed and popped, filling the room with a gorgeous jasmine scent.

Figuring it was going to take at least five minutes for the water to fill the tub, Jonte wandered back to the kitchenette. With Nannie’s words from yesterday playing on her mind, she opened Dolly’s Mac and logged onto her own Skype account to see if she could get in touch with Jack. It should be close to six or seven a.m. on Monday back home, meaning Jack should be up and getting ready for work.

She smoothed down her wayward hair as the Skype dial tone rang on the screen in front of her.

“Hey,” Jack said, his face suddenly grinning back at her.

“You answered.” She smiled, honestly happy to actually see him, not realizing how much she missed him and home until right this second.

“This is a nice surprise.”

“What can I say, I had five minutes to kill,” she teased and poked her tongue out at him.

“’Cause that’s a great way to convince me you’re grown up enough to be in the States by yourself.”

She shook her head and Jack laughed at her.

“So, how’s it all going?”

“I have a real job performing in a bar on Broadway!” she squealed and clapped her hands together.

“That’s fantastic.” He smiled and nodded. “I’m so proud of you.” He leaned forward and touched the screen.

“Thanks.” She mirrored his gesture, touching his hand on the screen, her emotions threatening to spill out of her eyes.

“Anything else to report?”

Hmmm…should she mention the developments with her and Cash? Jack being Jack, he picked up on her hesitation and pounced.

“Come on, spill.”

“There’s not much to spill. I think I might be seeing someone.”

“You
think
?” he replied, cursing and shaking his head. “I
think
I need to come kick this guy’s ass if you don’t know.”

“Always so melodramatic,” she said, rolling her eyes. Yes, yes, she knew that comment was completely hypocritical. “I need to go,” she added, remembering the running bath.

“And there’s my ever evasive sister.”

“What? I have a bath running. I really need to go before I flood the apartment.”

“Sure. Take care.”

“You too.”

She went to disconnect their session just as Jack threw out another question. “Hey, when’s that big audition?”

“Three weeks.”

“If I don’t speak to you before then, good luck.”

“Thanks, Jack.”

“Love ya, kiddo,” he said, waving.

“Me too,” she replied and waved back.

Jonte shut the screen and bolted into the bathroom. Crap! The water had just started spilling out. Jonte tiptoed to the tap, careful not to slip, and quickly shut it off.

“Oops,” she said out loud to herself and threw down some plush towels to mop up the water.

Once the flood was cleaned up and she’d removed half a dozen buckets of water from the tub and tipped them down the sink, Jonte slipped off her pajamas and dipped one toe into the water. The temperature was perfect, so she wasted no time immersing herself.

When Jonte emerged fresh from the tub several hours later, there was still no message from Cash and she was starting to feel more than a little obsessive. She walked out of the bathroom all wrapped up in her towel.

“Hey,” Dolly said, surprising her.

“Oh, hey. You’re back. Did you have a nice brunch?”

“Yeah. There’s this place around the corner from Tanner’s that makes fantastic pancakes.”

Jonte almost commented on Nannie’s pancakes but caught herself just in time. “You’ll have to take me there sometime,” she said instead.

“Definitely. Tanner and I try to catch up for brunch every few weeks. I’ll give you more notice next time.”

Jonte headed off to her room.

“Hey, I ran into Jerry just now. Cash isn’t feeling too good, so I’m heading downstairs to help out tonight,” Dolly called out after her.

“He’s sick?” Jonte spun back around.

“Yeah. Nannie called Jerry a couple hours ago.”

“Oh. Well I hope he feels better soon. Please pass that on if you speak to him.”

“Will do.”

“Thanks.” Jonte closed her bedroom door.

Cash was sick? That certainly explained why she hadn’t heard from him. Of course her mind had wandered off into crazy territory, thinking he was avoiding her and regretting their forty hours of amazing. She checked her cell again, still no message.

Jonte:
Jerry told Dolly you’re sick. Feel better soon xox