Something I Need (xoxo Nashville Book 1) (20 page)

J
erry walked
in for his shift half an hour later and busted Cash staring at Jonte’s empty stool.

He wasn’t pining over Jonte.

Okay, so maybe he was. Just a bit. And only in between pouring beers for customers.

“’S’up, Cash.” Jerry grinned and made his way behind the bar.

“Not much,” Cash grunted, all cranky and pissy. “Hey, will you be all right if I duck out for a few?”

“Sure.” Jerry nodded and went to check on the customers at the other end of the bar.

He had to do this now before he chickened out, before Dolly got home from work and Jonte left for her shift. He just needed to clear the air between them. Maybe then things could go back to how they were before.

Cash bounded up the stairs two at a time and stopped in front of the door. Fuck. It would be obnoxious to use his key and waltz in uninvited. He knocked on the door and waited. And waited. And waited. A minute later, the deadbolt unclicked and the door swung open.

Shit, she looked real good up close. She’d gotten changed and was wearing some delicate cream lace dress and those goddamn blue suede boots. Christ, just looking at those boots made him hard. He shifted and leaned against the doorjamb, crossing one ankle over the other, hoping she wouldn’t notice.

The soft smile that had been playing on her lips morphed into a frown and she glared at him, ready to maim, ready to murder.

“Cash.”

“Hi.” He waved stiffly.

“What do you want?”

Everything. Over the past ten days he’d come to realize he wanted everything with her. Everything Nannie had seen. But not what he’d seen. Christ.

“I…” Damn it. He wasn’t exactly sure what the hell he was supposed to say now he was actually up here. “I…”

“What? You what?” She snapped and scowled.

Fuck. This wasn’t her. He’d done this. Made her all cynical and irritable.

“I’m sorry,” he finally blurted out.

She crossed her arms over her chest, a clear stay-the-hell-away-from-me gesture and avoided his eyes. “Is that all? I have to get ready for work.”

Was that all? No, it wasn’t all.

“I like your dress. It’s real pretty. Is it new?”

“I got it today in Franklin,” she huffed and added, “Seb picked it for me.”

Seb – that was the damn hipster’s name!

“Rigghhht.” He drew out the word. She’d meant it as a kick in the nuts, and it sure as shit felt like one. “I miss hanging out with you.”

Her eyebrows knitted together and her glare hardened. “Are you shitting me?” she practically shouted. “You told me to get out, that you don’t do relationships. And then the minute you see me kiss Seb, you run up here and tell me you miss me? What is your deal?”

“I…” Again he found himself lost for words.
I love you
played on loop in his head, but there was no way in fuck he was saying that out loud. Plus, he wasn’t even sure if it was true.

Did he love her?

He was jealous. Ab-so-fucking-lutely. But what did it mean? He couldn’t go back on what he’d said, not with the possibility that his dream was more than a dream hanging over them. Damn it! That put him back to square one.

He couldn’t be with her. It was too complicated.

“Stay away from me, Cash. I’ll keep up the pretence that everything’s fine if Dolly is around. But otherwise, stay the fuck away from me. I can’t be your friend after what you did, what we did. If you can’t handle that, then I guess I better move.”

“I really am sorry.” He pulled away from the doorjamb. “You don’t need to find somewhere else to live.” He turned and walked away.

I
t was a beautiful afternoon
. After the movies the other day, Jonte decided she needed to come back to Centennial Park and explore. So she’d packed some fruit and bottled water, slipped on her runners, and headed out.

There was the usual mix of people jogging, mums pushing prams, and kids running around. But there were also a load of people simply enjoying the park, reading under a tree or by the lake, picnicking, lying down listening to music, and she’d even stumbled across a handful of musicians practicing – some busking with their cases open for tips and others seemingly playing for the love of playing.

The biggest surprise of the day had come when she’d found a giant Parthenon replica in the park. Apparently it was an art museum. She hadn’t actually gone inside, no she was saving that little adventure to share with Dean. He wasn’t free today but had suggested she try her hand at song writing.

Like most musicians, she’d dabbled before, but not seriously. She really wanted to write about Nashville or her kiss with Seb yesterday, but the big black cloud that was Cash was raining over everything.

And not just a little drizzle. He was a relentless hurricane, surrounding her completely, spinning her around and around, with no regard for the damage or destruction he caused.

He missed her.
What the hell was she supposed to do with that? He had no right to miss her. He had no right to anything.

Gah! Rather than trying to ignore Cash, she decided to harness all her pain and anger. Hell, Taylor Swift and Adele were masters at turning heartbreak into millions. Maybe she could do that too?

Most likely she wasn’t going to turn it into millions, but getting everything out and on paper might just help her to move on.

D
o you wanna hear a joke
?

It goes somethin’ like this

A girl walks into a bar, meets a guy, and they kiss

Not very funny, I know

‘cause the joke, it’s on me

That boy was so charming

and sexy and wry

He crushed my poor heart

and he never said why

C
HORUS
:

Curiosity settled, I was walking away

But he wouldn’t let me go, no, he said stay

And after all that, I don’t understand why

‘cause now he is the one who is saying goodbye

I
probably knew better

Had been warned about him

‘Cept he swore this was special

Chased me down with those eyes

I tried to resist

But my efforts were doomed

No, I didn’t last long

It was those super soft kisses

How’d I ever believe I was strong?

[
C
HORUS
]

W
e skimmed
rocks on the water

Laughed and talked about life

It was so damn simple,

And I loved simple

Was it all just a lie?

Was it all some big game?

Is that what boys like him do?

Show girls a great time

Then say, hey babe we’re through

[
C
HORUS
]

N
o
, I don’t understand why

J
onte wasn’t
in love with the song, but it wasn’t too bad. Definitely a half-decent effort. Maybe it needed more rhyming? Hmmm…She wasn’t sure. She was playing with the lyrics when her phone chimed.

Dolly:
Tanner and I are coming to watch tonight

Jonte:
Awesome. See ya then

She was putting her phone back in her bag when it chimed again.

Seb:
Where you at, beautiful?

That one made her smile big and bright and happy.

Seb was such a sweetie. He’d driven her home last night after work, walked her up to the door, and then kissed her outside the apartment. A lot. But just on the lips. And he hadn’t gotten all grabby or anything, clearly intent on keeping his promise to move slowly.

Jonte:
Chilling at Centennial Park, you?

Seb:
On my way. Whereabouts are you?

Jonte:
At the lake near the Parthenon

Yay. But crap. Jonte flushed and packed away her notebook and pen. She may have doodled Cash’s name on the sides of the page and drawn his eyes as she’d been writing. Seb didn’t need to see that. She scrolled through her phone, turned iTunes on quietly, and lay down.

Almost three songs later, Seb’s shadow hovered over her.

“Hey.” She grinned.

“Hi.” He sat down next to her. “I love these shorts.” He touched her ripped denim cut-offs and lay down, propping himself up on his side with his right arm.

“How was Uni, I mean college?”

“Not too bad. Pass me your cell. We can’t lie here on this gorgeous day and listen to depressing music. We need something more upbeat.”

Jonte chuckled and handed it over. “Just don’t put that “Happy” song on. I’m so over that one.”

“What about this one?” Seb smirked and Jason Derulo sang the opening of “Trumpets.”

“So trumpets turn you on?”

“You turn me on.” He shifted closer and lunged for her lips. One quick kiss. Two. Three. “And if I was gonna hear anything when you were gone, it would be pianos, not violins.”

“What happened to my manly drum player?”

“I’ll give you manly.” He crawled on top of her, pinning her down to the grass. His hands grabbed for hers and pushed them up above her head, while his lips got busy again. Their impromptu make-out session was hot. Super hot and completely unexpected. Wow.

“Park,” she mumbled between kisses. They were in a public place and kids were around

“Shhh.” Seb let go of one of her hands and moved it under her ass.

“Kids,” she tried to say this time.

“Hmph,” he groaned and pulled away from her lips. “Mood killer,” he joked, moving off her and sitting back on his heels.

Jonte wriggled on to her side. “You can come back.” She tapped the grass.

Seb grinned and lay back down, facing her again. “Sorry, that was probably a bit much for the park?”

“Just a bit.”

“And maybe moving too fast?” Seb wrapped his arm around her, pulling her in for a cuddle and kissed her forehead.

Jonte was grateful Seb had stopped things from getting out of hand just now. He was attracted to her. He wanted her. She wanted to want him too, but wasn’t entirely sure if that was enough.

* * *

T
he glass door
slammed and rattled, startling Cash.

Oh shit.

Dolly stormed in to the bar, stalking towards him, her heels clicking harshly against the wooden floor, her flowing dress billowing out behind her. She knew – she had to. And she was pissed as fuck. Her eyes were wild, almost feral, and locked right on him.

“You!” She pointed at him and then to his office. “Now.”

“Someone’s in trouble,” Jerry lilted and quickly moved out of the way so Cash could pass by.

“Keep an eye on shit.” Cash huffed and slowly made his way to the office. This wasn’t going to take long.

Dolly leaned up against the door and slung it behind him.

“Jesus, Dolly, watch the fucking doors.” He stood toe to toe with his twin, right up in her face.

“What the fuck is Jonte doing kissing Sebastian?” she bit out icily, her hands on her hips.

Cash tousled his hair and then threw his hand up in the air. “How the fuck should I know?”

“How could you let this happen?”

“Me?” He patted his palm to his chest, trying to sound incredulous at the accusation. “What the fuck does this have to do with me?”

Everything. He knew that. But there was no way in fuck he was letting her know that. Better to see what Dolly knew before he went ahead and incriminated himself.

“You love her.” Dolly poked her bony finger at his chest.

“According to you.” His confrontation with Jonte yesterday had further added to his suspicion that he might, and probably did. But he would never in a million years admit that to anyone, including Dolly.

“I feel it. I know, Cash.”

“What?” This time he didn’t have to pretend to be incredulous – he was. What in the hell was Dolly crapping on about now?

“That first night at the bar, I felt it. I had this inexplicable pull, this feeling that I had to come in and see you. I knew something was different and then I walked in and there was Jonte, and you were all wrapped up in her like some lovesick puppy dog.”

“Whatever.” Cash shook his head.
A feeling
? Was she for real? “Look, I have to get back to work.”

“Why in the hell do ya think I offered up my apartment?”

“I don’t know?”

“Why in the hell did
you
let her stay in my apartment?”

He blew out a long breath. This conversation was going nowhere. Fast. “Okay, so I was attracted to her. What the fuck is your point?”

“It should be
you
and her, not
Seb
and her,” Dolly whined and stomped her foot like a petulant child throwing a tantrum.

“Get over it, Dolly. It’s better this way.” He shrugged and reached for the door.

“Bullshit. I did not go to all that effort to keep her in our lives for her to end up with Sebastian Meyers.”

That stopped him short.
Effort
? What was she talking about now?

He stared hard at his twin, not liking where this was going. “What did you do, Dolly?”

He expected her to get all squirmy, but she stood her ground and said, “I did what I needed to.”

“And that was?”

Dolly’s hand darted out and thumped against the wall, banging it over and over again. “Yes, yes, yes,” she screamed out.

Holy fuck! That meddling little shit.

Cash’s throat was thick, clogged by a cocktail of disappointment and hurt. A single shot of I-can’t-believe-you-did-that, topped off with a double of I-thought-I-could-trust-you. His hand flew up to his mouth and the other one pointed at her. “It was you! That first apartment –”

“Was me,” she interrupted, looking way too smug.

“And the other two pseudo interviews? Was that you too?”

“I had some help with those.”

“Tanner?”

She nodded. “He’d heard about that filthy, crazy grad student from one of his employees who was looking for a new roommate. And the sax player lives next door to one of the apartments he looks after and he’s had nothing but complaints ever since she moved in.”

“Does Jonte know?”

“Of course not.” Dolly huffed and rolled her eyes, as if that was a stupid thing to have asked.

“When did Tanner get involved? Before or after I went to see him?”

“After. He called me to find out what the fuck had gotten into you.”

Well, at least that was something. In the beginning Tanner had been telling the truth about not being able to help.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Cash growled. He trusted Dolly and Tanner. How could they pull this shit?

“I’m your fucking twin and I know you better than you know yourself, you stupid dick.”

“My business is my business. Stay the fuck out of it.” Cash swung open the door, but the cogs were churning away in his mind and he immediately turned back around. “The bed. Your bed at Nannie and Pop’s?”

“You’re welcome.” She smirked, satisfied and cocky.

“What is wrong with you? Jonte could’ve gotten seriously hurt.”

“But she didn’t,” Dolly sing-songed. “And don’t think I didn’t notice that she didn’t come home the next night either.”

Madder than a headless turkey the day before Thanksgiving, he pulled at his hair with both hands now, shut his eyes, and counted to ten. One. Two. Three. His breathing was heavy and his fists curled at his sides. Four. Five. Six. Not that he would ever hit Dolly, or any woman for that matter. Seven. Eight. Nine. But he couldn’t really afford to go punching holes in the wall, especially with the office door open and Jerry and god knows who else watching. Ten.

“No more,” he finally said when he opened his eyes. He pointed at Dolly this time. “Don’t you ever fucking interfere again, understand?”

Dolly nodded somberly and he stalked off.