Something I Need (xoxo Nashville Book 1) (18 page)

T
en days
. It had been ten long days and nights since that Monday morning when he’d kicked Jonte out. He’d seen the pain and confusion in her eyes at his words, but had gone through with it anyway. She needed to be safe and he wasn’t safe. He was cursed and she didn’t need that.

She was always going be pissed at him. Hell, he was pissed at himself. It was a real dick move. But he hadn’t expected her to cut him out of her life so completely. After their admirable effort at pretending the ‘pool table’ incident never happened, he kind of just assumed things would go back to the way they were before. Naïve of him, really. Naïve was too kind. Stupid. Stupid was the right word. He was stupid, stupid, stupid.

But the stupidest thing of all was that he was still having the nightmares. Every single night. How was that even possible? And so the bottle had become his new best friend. Some nights it worked; others, not so much.

Drinking wasn’t going to help him long term. Christ, he’d just end up a shrivelled excuse for a man like so many of his regulars if he kept it up. But right now, he needed something to get through the nights, and alcohol had to be a better option than sleeping tablets.

It was a lie when he said he hadn’t seen Jonte. He’d seen her coming and going through the windows of the bar nearly every day, but she never came in. Did she see him working when the windows were open? He wasn’t sure. If she did, she sure as shit didn’t wave or acknowledge him.

It was selfish of him to want to see her, to want her to come in. He knew that. But it didn’t stop him from wishing she’d just waltz in one day as if nothing had happened. No sex. No kissing. No deep and meaningful chats on the river bank. No fight.

Nannie had been on his case to see someone about the nightmares. Hell, even Pop had said something the other morning. Deep down, he knew he should, but therapists worried him. Did they really help? ‘Cause they sure hadn’t stopped his momma from driving into that tree all those years ago.

Post-natal depression. That’s what everyone said she’d had. Friends of the family had said she was never the same after he and Dolly were born. Nannie and Pop never ever said anything like that. And his dad, well, he’d gone and shipped him and Dolly off to his own parents and only came to visit at Christmas. Sometimes. Definitely not every Christmas.

Cash didn’t expect to see Tanner walk through his door this early on a Wednesday afternoon, but there he was, dressed in suit pants and a light-blue button-down with the sleeves rolled up. Tanner strolled up to the bar like he didn’t have a care in the world. Truth was, he probably didn’t.

“Hey, buddy.” Tanner took a seat.

“Tanner.” Cash nodded at his friend. “What are you doin’ here?”

“Haven’t seen ya in a few weeks. Thought I’d drop by and say hi.”

“Hi,” Cash deadpanned.

“Nice.” Tanner chuckled and shook his head.

“Sorry. What have you been up to?”

“Christ, don’t do me any favours.” Tanner pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and threw a twenty down on the bar.

“Your money’s no good here. What do you want?”

“Right, well you better make it a bourbon on the rocks, then. The good stuff, off the top shelf.” Tanner winked and stuffed the twenty back into his wallet.

Cash poured the bourbon over some ice. He poured himself one too, seeing as the bar was essentially dead right now, and then returned the bottle.

“Cheers.” Cash raised his glass to clink against Tanner’s.

“Cheers,” Tanner replied and took a swig of the bourbon.

The pair enjoyed the comfortable silence, sipping on their drinks and saying nothing for a good ten minutes.

“Nannie called me,” Tanner finally said when his glass was empty.

“Of course she did.”

“She’s worried about you, and from what she said, frankly, I’m concerned, too.”

“I’m fine.”

“You look like shit.”

“Well, fuck you, too.”

“Jeez, Cash, have you looked in a mirror lately? You’re pale as a ghost and your eyes are all fucked up. Are you getting any sleep at all?”

“Some.” He shrugged.

“When was the last time you talked to Jonte?”

“Now what in the hell does she have to do with anything?”

“Nannie seems to think she has a lot to do with everything.”

“Why? What’d she say?”

“She said she’d met her at the ranch and she hadn’t seen her since. She gave me the impression the two of you were maybe more than friends?”

Cash shook his head and let out a loud breath. Lovable but meddling old woman.

“I didn’t say anything to Dolly, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Tanner added, holding his hands up in the air surrender style.

“Good. Don’t!”

“So, Jonte. When was the last time the two of you spoke?”

“I saw her jump into that Dean fellow’s crappy truck about an hour ago. They seem to be spending a lot of time together. Are they dating or something?”

“Do you care?”

“Nope.” That was a lie. A big, fat, dirty lie.

“Well, as far as I know, they’re not. So you spoke to her just before then?”

Cash shook his head. “Not exactly.”

“Right. So when did you last speak to her?”

“As in actual words?”

“Oh, come on, Cash.”

“Ten days ago.”

“Ten days ago?” Tanner’s voice was drenched in his own special brand of disbelief, the perfect blend of what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you and you-stupid-fuck. “How has Dolly not been on your case about that?”

“I don’t know. She probably doesn’t know.”

“Clearly. Okay, so back up a minute. Why haven’t you two spoken for ten days?”

“I don’t know, I guess she’s mad at me.”

“And why would you think that?”

“I kinda kicked her out.”

“What?”

“She was in here cleaning up and helping out.”

“So you kicked her out? What the hell is wrong with you?”

Cash let out another deep breath. There was no way around this. “I swear if you tell Dolly –”

“I won’t.”

“We kinda hooked up that night Dolly went home with Dean, and then again the following night.”

“Did you learn nothing from the whole Crystal fiasco? Don’t fuck people in your inner circle. That means your friends, friends of friends, or people that work for your friends. It’s a pretty simple rule.”

“Back off. It wasn’t meant to be just fucking.”

“What?”

Oh for fuck’s sake. He was in this far already, he may as well just tell Tanner everything. And that’s what he did – the amazing sex, Nannie’s crazy vision, his dreams, everything.

“That’s pretty fucked up,” Tanner said when Cash was done. “So you really like her, then?”

“I did, yeah. But what if what I saw was a premonition? What if I have Nannie’s gift too? I can’t let her end up like that.”

“Did you ask Nannie if she saw that happening to Jonte?”

“Sort of, yeah. But she can’t see anything. I don’t think it’s reassuring though. It could just mean too much is up in the air, or I could have changed everything when I pushed her away. I don’t know how this shit works.”

“You need to come clean and tell Jonte everything.”

Cash shook his head. Not happening. That was one thing he was adamant about. “No way. It’s better like this.”

* * *

J
onte had successfully avoided
Cash for the past week and a half. And by some small miracle, Dolly hadn’t seemed to cotton on to the fact anything had gone pear shaped between the two of them.

Yay for teeny-tiny miracles.

She’d spent almost every waking second with Dean these past ten days. Dean wasn’t studying like Seb, so his days were free, just like hers. To fill in their days and some of their nights, Dean dragged her to practically every bar in Nashville. One of her favorites was definitely Station Inn, a dive bar off 12
^th
Avenue that specialized in Bluegrass and roots music. Jonte had even signed up for their Sunday afternoon jam class in an attempt to improve her guitar-playing skills. And it was working. She’d learned heaps in one session alone. No offense to Dolly – she was doing the best she could – but she wasn’t a guitar teacher.

When Dean learned she was trying to master the guitar, he took her down to Nashville Used Music, a music superstore that stocked everything a musician could ever dream of wanting. Contrary to the name, the store sold both new and used instruments. Jonte purchased a mint condition Gibson guitar at a fraction of the price a new one would have been.

Tonight Jonte was going to the movies at Centennial Park with Dean and Seb to see Frozen. The boys picked her up mid-afternoon so they could go shopping for a picnic dinner. They purchased fresh bread rolls, cold meats, cheeses, fruit, tortilla chips, and a coma-inducing quantity of lollies and chocolate. Dean and Seb had the best time playing,
Have you tried these?
with Jonte in the candy aisle. Whenever the answer was no, into the cart went a packet or two of the offending candy. There were Milk Duds, Junior Mints, Mr. Goodbars, Jolly Ranchers and Reese’s Pieces.

“What the hell do they feed y’all over there in Australia?” Seb joked, throwing in a packet of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

“Methinks you’re a tad obsessed there.” Jonte eyed the multiple packets of Reese’s products in the cart.

“Mmmm…” Seb patted his tummy melodramatically. “What’s not to love about peanut butter and chocolate?” He smiled a little crazily and threw another packet in for good measure.

At the checkout, the boys insisted on paying. Apparently they were initiating her into American culture, and they may have trash-talked Dolly for being such a slacker in failing to educate her on the finer pointers of American candy.

The trio arrived early and secured a prime position towards the front of the band shell, right in the first row. They threw down their rug and got comfortable.

It was super fun and oh so casual. There were families – with some kids literally running around, while others were completely transfixed by the film – young couples, older couples, and lots of groups of friends, just like her, Seb, and Dean. It was by far the best time she’d had outside of performing since she’d arrived. Well, the best fun she’d had that she wouldn’t come to regret later.

The score was superb. Disney sure knew how to make a film and write a killer soundtrack to not only accompany, but be an integral part of, the storyline. The actors who voiced the characters must feel so privileged to be involved in such an amazing project. Jonte decided right then that if she ever made it big, she’d love to be able to do a movie voice-over.

The film ended and the crowd thinned out. Dean disappeared for a bathroom break, leaving Seb and Jonte to pack up the leftovers and fold the picnic blanket.

“You looked like you really enjoyed that.” Seb stuffed another half-eaten bag of candy into the basket.

“Yeah. It was so good, and funny, too.”

“That snowman, Olaf, was hilarious. Poor dude just wanted to see the sun.”

“I know, right?” Jonte smiled. “I loved how they kinda took the piss out of earlier Disney films, with that Kristoff character laughing at Anna for getting engaged after one day.”

“Classic. And for a girly Disney film, it was pretty good.”

“Oh, poor you, having to sit through a girly film,” Jonte teased and gently nudged Seb with her shoulder.

Seb laughed along with her and nudged her back. “Sooooo, I was thinking…maybe sometime we could hang out?”

“I thought we just did.”

“Yeah, we did. But I was kinda hoping we could ditch Dean, so it’s just the two of us.”

“Oh.” Was Seb asking her out on a date? Did she want him to ask her out on a date?

Crap. After everything with Cash, should she really be dating anyone? Seb was one of her only friends, and also a co-worker. “What exactly did you have in mind?” she asked, deciding she needed more information before committing to anything.

“Well, I had been thinking about asking you to come to the old theatre house in Franklin to see a movie, but we just saw one now.”

“Where’s Franklin?”

“’Bout fifteen miles away. It’s real pretty, especially the historic downtown part.”

In the past month, Jonte hadn’t left Nashville. Nannie and Pop’s ranch was the farthest out she’d ventured.

“Would we be hanging out as friends or would it be a date?” She hedged her bets, just in case she’d gotten the wrong impression.

“Which answer do I need to give to get you to say yes?”

“Seb, you’re a great friend –”

“But you don’t see me that way?” His shoulders visibly slumped as he said the words.

“That’s not what I said.” She bit down on her bottom lip and looked him straight in the eyes.

“So you do see me that way?” His mouth quirked up to a satisfied but crooked half-grin.

“I don’t know if I should be dating anyone.”

Her mind drifted back to the first time she’d seen Seb. She had absolutely been attracted to him. Beyond his good looks, Seb was also super smart and undertaking scientific research on a full scholarship at Vanderbilt in something Jonte couldn’t quite remember. It may have been to do with bees, or maybe she was just making shit up now. Either way, there was nothing not to like about Seb. Maybe if nothing had happened with Cash. Maybe if they weren’t working together. Who was she kidding? Without those other two things to consider, she would most definitely have said
yes
.