Something to Believe In (15 page)

Lora made a face. “Now I definitely want to wait a bit longer
to have kids.”

“It’s not that bad. Besides, I’ve just started really feeling
the babies move and that’s pretty amazing.”

“What does it feel like?”

“Like little bubbles fluttering around in there. Or gas.”

Lora barked a laugh. “Gas? Cute.” She smiled as Celly walked in
with a banana smoothie in her hand for Lilah.

“Here yah are, yah breakfast. Drink it all up. Those babies
need their protein. All island girls eat lots of bananas...good for growing
kids.”

“It’s a good thing I like bananas,” Lilah said, accepting the
smoothie. “Otherwise, I’d be in big trouble with the sheer number of smoothies
you’ve made for me to drink.”

Celly winked and walked back out of the room to check on
Pops.

Since Celly had returned, Pops had settled down and was
wandering less. It almost seemed normal, whatever normal was these days, and
they’d slipped into a comforting routine.

Everything seemed calm and relaxed.

Except her mind at night.

She never stopped thinking about Justin.

Maybe it was because his babies were growing inside her—two
perfect individuals who were an equal part of them each—and she wished he were
there to share it with her. But each time she considered calling him, the words
dried up on her tongue. What would she say to him? How would she explain? Would
he believe her? Likely by this point he’d demand a paternity test. She wouldn’t
blame him, but she’d be a liar if she didn’t admit that such a requirement would
hurt.

As time wore on, her courage dwindled. And soon, her
justification for keeping the knowledge of his impending fatherhood to herself
was that he was better off not knowing.

Which was total crap and she knew it but she was too afraid to
face what she knew was coming eventually.

She just had no idea when she woke up that morning that the
moment would come so soon.

In fact, if she’d known...she might’ve stayed in bed with the
covers pulled tightly over her head, because the one person she desperately
missed yet hoped would never return to Larimar had just gasped her name in
shock, and she, like a ninny from an outdated movie, simply slid to the floor in
an ungainly heap.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

N
O
SOONER
HAD
HER
NAME
slipped from his lips in a
shocked exclamation, than Lilah’s face had blanched and she’d crumpled to the
floor, igniting a firestorm around them.

Justin ran to her side, but he was pushed rudely aside by Heath
as he maneuvered Lilah’s body into his arms and lifted her from the lobby.

“You stay here,” Heath bit out to Justin.

“Like hell I will,” Justin shot back, following Heath as
closely as a shadow. “What’s going on? Is she okay?”

“She’s fine. Probably just shocked to see you,” Lora
answered.

Heath placed Lilah gently on the sofa in the private section of
the resort and everyone, including Justin, awaited the flutter of her lashes.
When she awoke a few seconds later, she groaned when she saw Justin.

“Why are you here?”

“Why are you
pregnant?
” he
countered, unable to stop staring at her rounded stomach. He was no expert but
her belly seemed a bit big. Had she been pregnant when they’d first started
seeing each other? Perhaps that’d been the complication she’d been
referencing...

Lilah’s hand covered her eyes and she looked green around the
gills. “Can you guys give us a minute?” she asked her hovering family.

“Are you sure?” Heath asked, looking distrustfully at Justin.
“What if you pass out again?”

“Then I will be here for her,” Justin said sharply, hating that
everyone was looking at him as if he were the enemy when clearly some key
information had been withheld from him. As far as he was concerned they were all
accessories to the crime.

“I’ll be fine,” Lilah promised, and struggled to sit up. Justin
tried to help but she pulled away from him. He sat back on his haunches beside
her, angry and perplexed at what was happening. Lilah waited for everyone to
clear from the room and then took a moment to compose herself. “Just so you
know, I’ve never actually fainted before. I just... Well, the shock of seeing
you...”

“I can imagine,” he said darkly. “What’s going on?” His
attention focused squarely on her stomach as she defensively rubbed her belly
with both hands as if reassuring the baby and herself. “Please explain.”

Lilah glared. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m pregnant.”

“You know I’m asking for more than the obvious. Is
it...mine?”

Lilah’s expression paled and her hands fluttered over her belly
again, as if struggling with how she wanted to answer. He held his breath, not
quite sure how he hoped she would answer. Here was the woman he’d fallen in love
with all those months ago, and yet, she seemed different from the girl he’d left
behind and he wasn’t just talking about the basketball she was cradling. “Does
it matter?” she asked.

“Of course it matters,” he exploded, unable to take the
tension. He rose and started to pace. “This is...bad timing for me. I’m actively
campaigning and this could be very damaging to my career. Everything was going
really well. I have a good chance of winning. I could be the next New York
senator. And I never really thought that I’d want that, but since starting my
campaign, I’ve come to realize that I could make a real difference out there.
It’s ignited a passion I never knew I had...” He glanced helplessly at her
stomach. “And that...I mean, a baby...it’s just not...”

“It’s not your baby,” Lilah cut in, stopping him cold.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure,” she said. “Don’t you think I might’ve
told you if I were carrying your baby?”

Her cheeks crawled with color as she made her casual
announcement and his gut questioned her honesty. But why would she lie about
something like that? Wouldn’t it benefit her to ring him as the father? He
regarded her with open speculation and she lifted her chin, daring him to call
her out. “I want a paternity test,” he said, folding his arms across his
chest.

She startled at his statement. “But why?” she protested.
“You’re off the hook. I’m not trying to get anything from you. I just want to
raise my babies—”

“Babies?”
he gasped, his eyes
widening. “What do you mean ‘babies’? There’s more than one?”

“Damn it,” she muttered, angry with herself for the slip. “Yes,
babies. Plural,” she answered with a dark scowl. “I’m a twin, remember? The
chances that I would produce twins are pretty high and I got lucky.”

That explained the bigger belly. He couldn’t stop staring. He
wanted to touch it and feel his babies beneath her bronzed, sun-kissed skin.
Tears pricked his eyes but he held them back. Now was not the time. First, they
had to iron out some details. “Let’s try this again... When were you going to
tell me that I was going to be a father?”

“I told you they aren’t yours,” she maintained stubbornly, but
her gaze slid away.

“I know you’re lying. When were you going to tell me?”

“Never, okay?” she blurted out, wiping away angry tears. “I
wasn’t ever going to tell you. You just said yourself, this is bad timing and I
wasn’t going to be the one who derailed your career because I trapped you into
something you weren’t ready for. I don’t need you or your money. I will raise my
babies on my own.”

“Like hell,” he said simply. “Those are
my
babies, too. I have a say in how and where they will be
raised.”

She paled. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, my home is in New York. So it will be theirs.”

“Well, my home is here and they’re presently in my belly.”

“I will fly you to New York to give birth of course. I want my
babies to have the best medical care available and I don’t think a little island
hospital is going to fit the bill.”

“Women give birth every day. It’s nothing that can’t be
accomplished right here in this living room, if need be,” Lilah countered with a
glare. “And I’m not going to New York.”

“We’ll talk about this later. Right now, I want to know
everything about your pregnancy. You’ve cheated me out of the first few months
of their existence and you’re not going to take another moment from me.”

He was being harsh. He could hear it in his tone but he was
angry. White-hot angry, but also hurt. Why wouldn’t she have called him the
minute she found out? He would’ve been here in a heartbeat. To think she was
going to let him go on without ever knowing... Well, it pierced him to his core.
Perhaps he didn’t know her as well as he’d thought. To keep something as big as
his babies from him? It seemed downright cold and he’d never imagined Lilah was
capable of being so cruel.

“Twins... Do you know what they are? Girls? Boys? One of each?”
he asked.

“No, I don’t know yet,” she snapped. “I wasn’t going to find
out.”

“Oh. Don’t you think it’d be nice to know? For planning
purposes?”

Her gaze cut away. “No, I wanted to be surprised.”

“Well, I’ve had a big enough surprise already. I want to
know.”

Tears sparkled in her eyes and for a second he felt an apology
trying to push past the angry wall he was surrounded by, but in the end, he just
couldn’t let it go and he hated himself for it, but this was damn near
unforgivable.

* * *

L
ILAH
WANTED
TO
SOB
but she held back
her tears through sheer force of will. It helped that she was percolating with
indignant anger. How dare he start making demands? She ignored the voice of
reason providing irritating counterpoints to her justifications. Of all the
scenarios she pictured in her head of telling Justin about the pregnancy, she
never imagined it going so wrong.

He wanted to take her babies away from her. He was acting as if
she didn’t have a say. Panic made her heart flutter like a caged bird. “Why are
you doing this?” she managed to ask. “I gave you an out. You don’t want to be a
father. You said so yourself. You’re not ready and it’s bad timing. I won’t come
after you for money. I won’t pester you, I promise. I just want to raise my
babies in peace.”

Justin turned and regarded her with a chilly expression. “You
didn’t have the right to make that choice for me. Forgive me if I was a little
shocked and didn’t act as you rehearsed my reaction. Let me make myself
clear...I will be a part of my children’s lives. End of story. Get used to
it.”

“Get out.” When he refused to budge, she screamed, “Get out!”
and everyone came running.

Heath stood with clenched fists, looking more than ready to
plow Justin’s face into a squishy mess if he so much as dared to breathe an
errant word and Lora stood not far off with the same expression. Celly watched
everything unfold with a speculative stare, as if seeing something no one else
did.

“You’ve been asked to leave,” Heath said curtly. “I suggest you
do so.”

Justin hesitated for a moment, as if debating the merits of
picking a fight. Then he turned to leave. “I’ll be back. Be ready to discuss
this.”

Lilah waited until she heard the door slam and then she broke
down and sobbed. “He hates me,” she cried into her hands, shaking with each
breath. “His eyes were so cold and mean. I’ve never seen him so cruel. I don’t
even know that man.” She looked up to regard her family wildly. “And he wants to
take my babies away. Oh, God...I’d die if he tried!”

“No one is taking de babies,” Celly said calmly, surprising
them all with her ability to remain cool and collected. In fact, she seemed
vaguely amused by the whole situation, which baffled Lilah. “Time will work
tings out. Yah gave him a start and he reacted badly. Give him time to adjust.
He will come around. I have a feeling, it’ll be fine.”

“No disrespect, Celly, but I disagree,” Lora broke in,
concerned. “He has access to a litany of attorneys that we don’t. With his
connections, he could hire the best money could buy. We need to get an attorney
right away.”

“Give him time to do de right ting,” Celly advised, looking
past Lora and speaking directly to Lilah. “Yah know dat boy’s heart. Trust dat.
And stop worrying. Bad for de babies.”

“It’s not that simple,” Lora disagreed, but Celly shrugged and
started walking away.

“I have to go check on Jack. It’s his snack time and he gets
right ornery when he doesn’t get his grilled pineapple.”

Lilah watched Celly leave, confused by Celly’s comments. How
could she say that everything would work out? Hadn’t she heard what Justin said?
There was nothing soft or giving about the man who’d just stared her down as if
she were beneath him, tossing out demands as if it were his right to do so.

Lora rushed to her side and clasped her hand. “It’s going to be
all right. I promise. If we all have to pool our resources to hire the best
attorney out there, we’ll do it. Justin Cales is going to have one helluva fight
on his hands when he takes on a Bell.”

Lilah nodded, grateful for her family’s unflagging support but
her heart was weeping in misery. She kept seeing the anger and hatred in
Justin’s eyes and it was as if he was stabbing her in the heart.

Why’d you have to return, Justin?
Why?

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

J
USTIN
STRODE
INTO
THE
room he’d booked at the
Worchester and tossed his keys onto the bureau with agitation. His world had
just tipped upside down and he was still struggling to discern which way was
right side up.

A baby? Two babies?

He sat heavily on the edge of the bed and cradled his head in
his hands. Lilah was going to have his babies.

He was going to be a father.

The words seemed nonsensical in his head. The entire plane ride
all he could think of was how he was going to convince Lilah to return to New
York with him, screw his original idea of closure.

Now there was no closure in sight.

Was he crazy that a part of him was relieved? Lilah would
always be a part of his life now. But he hadn’t wanted it like this—tense and
angry on both sides.

Didn’t he have a right to be pissed? She was going to deny him
the right to know his children. That wasn’t something that could be easily
forgiven. But he supposed he’d have to find a way. For better or worse, Lilah
Bell was going to be the mother of his children.

Would the babies have her fair hair? Her beautiful blue
eyes?

Or would they favor him? He tried picturing himself cradling
two babies in his arms, and it was fortunate he was already sitting because his
knees would’ve given out and landed him on the floor.

It was all happening so fast. This changed everything.

What was he going to do about his political career? He’d have
to do some quick maneuvering to make this a positive instead of a negative. He
fished his cell from his pocket with the intention of calling Rudy, but he
hesitated, staring at the phone. If he told Rudy, his campaign manager would
kick into damage-control gear and possibly ruin any chance he and Lilah had to
get through this. He’d already bungled things. He didn’t need anyone’s
assistance in that regard. He pocketed his cell phone and fell back on the bed
to close his eyes and regroup.

He was going to be a father.

How was he even remotely qualified for such a
responsibility?

Six months ago he’d been a total idiot with little more on his
mind than the next party and the next conquest. He hardly recognized the image
of himself from then. That person embarrassed him. He certainly didn’t want to
be that kind of person as a role model for his kids.

A small flutter of nerves jumped in his gut when he let the
knowledge truly sink in how his life was about to change.

Babies.

He didn’t even know where to start.

* * *

“H
E
WANTS
TO
TAKE
THE
BABIES
,” Lilah sobbed
into the phone to Lindy, nearly hysterical. “As soon as he found out, he was so
mad, and he looked at me like I was the worst person on the planet! He hates me
now and he’s going to punish me for ruining his career by taking my babies!”

“Okay, calm down, Li,” Lindy said, trying to calm Lilah down,
but Lilah was beside herself with fear and regret. “It’s going to be okay.
Justin isn’t that bad of a guy, right? I mean, you wouldn’t have fallen for him
if he was bad.”

“I never fell for him,” Lilah protested. Was she truly that
transparent? If so, the knowledge only compounded her misery. “But he’s
different now. He’s not the man I knew when he was here before.”

“Of course he’s different. Cut the guy some slack, sweetie. You
just told him that he was going to be the father of twins—twins that he didn’t
even know existed until today. Imagine how that must’ve thrown him for a loop.
And the fact that he wants to be a part of the babies’ lives... Well, I gotta
say, that’s pretty honorable.”

“Fine time to be honorable,” Lilah groused. “Why couldn’t he
have stayed a happy memory?”

“You know that’s kinda selfish, right? I mean, you know I’m on
your side but I can’t believe that you would purposefully keep a man from his
children just because it’s more convenient for you,” Lindy chided gently. When
Lilah didn’t respond, she added with a pinch of logic, “Besides, it’s truly
better this way. He should take responsibility for his children. The fact that
he’s adamant about being a true father...that’s a good thing. Once you get past
the hurt from the initial shock, I think you guys can work this out.”

“Work it out how?”

“I don’t know. How do you want it to work out?”

Lilah hesitated, the words trapped in her throat. Before he’d
shown up unannounced she’d dreamed of him every night, wished he was here with
her, and fantasized of their life together, but now that she was faced with the
reality, she was too scared to hope for anything that resembled the landscape of
her dreams. “I just want what’s best for the babies,” she whispered.

“Then, stop fighting him and find out how you can do this
together,” came Lindy’s reasonable advice. “Try to be friends.”

Friends? She suddenly hated the word. She didn’t want to be
Justin’s friend. She wanted to be his...? Well, she didn’t know exactly but it
definitely wasn’t in the friend zone.

“I don’t know how to be friends with Justin,” she admitted.
“What if I’m terrible at it?”

“You’ll make it work because two perfect little halves of you
and Justin will require it. I know you can do this, Li. Have faith in yourself.
You’re going to make an amazing mother, just be yourself.”

That started the waterworks anew and it took several moments
before Lilah could speak again. How did Lindy know she’d make a good mother?
She’d messed up every major project she’d ever undertaken. How could she
possibly handle raising two human beings? She longed to rest her head on
Justin’s shoulder with the privilege of sharing her fears with the father of her
children. But that wasn’t an option. She’d been terribly selfish and kept a
secret that wasn’t entirely hers to keep. It was little wonder he thought she
was the devil.

“He wants me to go to New York to have the babies,” she said,
wiping her nose on a tissue. “I don’t want to go.”

Lindy sighed. “I’m sorry to say that you’re going to have to
work on compromising with each other. He has a right to his opinions and
desires, just like you. And, like Grams used to say, you catch more bees with
honey, so stop putting out vinegar.”

Lilah rolled her eyes although she understood the sentiment.
She’d felt attacked and so had gone on the defensive. She supposed she could’ve
handled things better. “Do you think he’ll ever forgive me?” she asked.

“I think once he holds those babies in his arms, nothing else
will matter. Give him a chance to show you he can be the man you thought he was
when you first met before you write him out of your life and start a war you
never intended to fight. I mean, think about it, Li, you fell in love with him
for a reason, right?”

“Yeah,” she agreed reluctantly. “But what if he hasn’t really
changed? I don’t want to get on that roller coaster of wondering if he’s lying
to me or sleeping around. Don’t you remember what you said he was like? A
playboy. The worst kind. Remember? What if—”

“Don’t play the what-if game,” Lindy admonished. “No one wins
that game. You have to trust your heart and hope for the best. Otherwise, you’re
just resigning yourself to living in fear of what
may
or
may not
happen.”

Lilah chuckled bleakly, yet was silently amazed at how wise her
twin had become in such a short time frame. “How’d you get so smart?”

Lindy laughed. “I’m just channeling Grams as much as possible.
She was the best woman I knew. I figure if I just did what she would do in any
given situation, I couldn’t go wrong. So far, it’s worked out. And considering
I’ve jumped into the deep end of the parenting pool with a teenager, I’m still
treading water and that’s pretty amazing.”

“You’re just lucky because Carys is a lot like you and there’s
nothing she could do that you haven’t already done,” Lilah quipped.

“True story.”

“I wish you were here,” Lilah remarked with a hitch in her
voice. “I always feel more secure when you’re around.”

“Li, you’re going to do just fine. You’re so much stronger than
you give yourself credit for. You don’t need me as your security any
longer.”

Lilah was warmed by her twin’s statement but it didn’t quell
the nervous roil of her stomach as she considered everything that lay ahead. “I
miss you, still.”

“And I miss you. But if you end up following Justin to New
York, I can fly over and see you and the babies. Gabe has an apartment in the
city for when he’s on the east coast on business.”

The way Lindy casually talked about her going to New York
shocked her, as if it weren’t a huge concession on her part to leave the island.
“I hate the city,” Lilah said churlishly.

“You’ve never really been to the city so you can’t actually say
that,” Lindy reminded her. “Besides, I have a feeling there are a few things
about the city that you will enjoy.”

“Such as?”

“Such as being with the man you love.”

Lilah actually growled and glowered, irritated that Lindy kept
trying to remind her that she had hidden feelings for Justin. Fat lot of good
those feelings had done for her lately. “Just because you hooked up with a
Prince Charming doesn’t mean I’m going to end up with one. I’d rather not set
myself up for failure. You didn’t see how he looked at me. It wasn’t nice. Or
filled with love.”

Lindy sighed. “Okay, grouchy pants. See it your way. I have to
get going. I have a teenager who likes to sleep in on school days, which means I
have to drag her butt out of bed when the alarm goes off and it’s never pretty.
Sleep tight, Li, and keep me in the loop.”

They wrapped up their conversation and Lilah disconnected. A
sea of used tissues surrounded her from her cry fest and she was hungry as
usual. She discarded the tissues and made her way to the kitchen where she found
a bowl of strawberries freshly cut and waiting for her. She smiled. “Bless your
crafty heart, Celly,” she murmured, and grabbed the bowl. She didn’t waste time
with another smaller bowl or plate; she planned to eat them all.

She didn’t know how to fix this situation with Justin but she
did know how to polish off a flat of strawberries.

So that’s what she did.