Something to Believe In (6 page)

He paused to think for a minute, the dappled sunlight playing
with the lighter brown strands in his dark hair, and then said, “Well, the
boarding school I attended was pretty old and there were rumors that the ghost
of a young girl haunted the cafeteria. I never saw anything but my best buddy,
Keenan, swore to all that was holy he saw her standing over the mashed potato
tray one afternoon. No one but Keenan saw her but he looked pretty freaked out.
I believed him. He also never ate the mashed potatoes again.”

“I don’t think Heath has ever hiked the Reef Bay Trail again,
either,” she said, laughing. They settled into an easy silence as she drove, but
then she remembered a small snippet of shared information and decided to comment
on it. “Boarding school, huh? So...something tells me you weren’t ever a free
lunch recipient at school?”

Justin shifted just a little as if caught and said, “My
childhood was comfortable,” he admitted. “I guess you could say privileged.
You’re not going to hold that against me are you?”

“Of course not,” she said. “I never hold someone’s past against
them, particularly their childhood. I choose to judge people on their
actions.”

“Good to know,” he said, looking as if he were vastly relieved,
which made her wonder what other little truths he didn’t want to be judged on.
She’d meant what she said. She was the last person to pass judgment on someone
else but, unfortunately, she found herself itching to know more details about
him.
Not only a bad idea but hypocritical,
she
chastised herself.
Focus on the road, not the distracting
cuteness.

Which, she could tell, was going to be impossible.

It’d be a miracle if they didn’t end up in a ravine.

CHAPTER EIGHT

J
USTIN
INHALED
THE
SWEET
scent of green
things and enjoyed his stroke of luck. He was spending the day with Lilah on an
island paradise. Things couldn’t have worked out better if he’d planned
them.

He couldn’t quite put his finger on why he was so taken with
Lilah but he didn’t need to dissect his feelings to simply enjoy them. She made
him feel alive, as if someone had flicked a switch inside his brain and suddenly
everything was illuminated for the first time. He chuckled privately at how
ridiculous he was being but he was smiling from the inside out and that was a
fact. He didn’t mind that they seemed to be driving to the moon with enough
switchbacks to make a person sick to their stomach. He didn’t even mind the
history lesson. If Keenan could see him right now, he’d assume there’d been some
sort of head injury to make him act like this. Almost lovesick if there was a
thing. But hey, whatever it was, it was fun and that’s what Justin was all about
with this trip.

Just the mere brush of reality threatened to sour his mood so
he ruthlessly kicked it away. He’d almost blown it by admitting he’d attended a
boarding school—who aside from rich kids attended boarding school?—but she’d
been cool about it. She hadn’t even pestered him for details, for which he’d
been grateful but mildly disappointed. Most women already knew everything about
him, but wanted to know more. Lilah knew nothing about him and seemed content
with surface details yet he wanted to tell her things that he ought to keep
private. Such as the fact that his prick of a father was strong-arming him into
a political career he didn’t want. Yeah, great conversation starter. Talk about
a surefire way to kill a mood.

Soon, however, they drove into a sleepy little cove town that
he assumed was Coral Bay and he was astounded by the number of donkeys milling
about, both on the side of the road and on the road. One mangy-looking beast
eyed him with zero fear and remained stationed dead center in the middle of road
as if he owned it. Lilah honked the horn but the donkey merely flicked one long
ear at the intrusive sound and continued to stare balefully, as if they were in
the wrong spot instead of him.

“One of the main annoyances of Coral Bay,” Lilah admitted. “The
wild donkeys.”

“Boy, he thinks he owns the road, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah, they all do,” Lilah agreed, honking the horn again. “All
right, you stubborn ass. I guess I’ll have to go around.”

Justin laughed as Lilah eased the Jeep around the donkey and
they continued on their way.

“So this is Coral Bay?” Justin observed, wondering if he was
missing something as he took in the rustic environment and almost forgotten
ambiance. “Is this the place time forgot? Seems lost in the ’60s.”

An old gas station, rusted and crumbling into orange-flecked
dust, was near an equally old corner store. He wasn’t sure if anyone actually
lived here aside from the donkeys.

“Well, it used to be a thriving town for artisans and a few
still call this place home but it’s true there’s not much to draw the tourists
anymore.”

“Seems a good place for a serial killer to hang out. You know
they make movies in towns like this,” he joked, although there was a grain of
truth to his ribbing. It probably had its charm for some people, but it was a
little too...earthy for his tastes. He glanced at Lilah. “Does this conclude the
tour? Or is there more?”

“You don’t like it?” She pulled off onto a secluded side
street, though there was zero traffic and even fewer humans milling about, the
sound of the Jeep idling seemed unnaturally loud against the drowsy quiet of the
town.

“It’s... Yeah, I’m not going to lie...not my cup of tea. Let me
guess, you love this place.”

Lilah smiled. “Well, I love all of St. John. It’s easy to love
Cruz Bay—it’s where the cool shops and restaurants are, which is why it fares
well with tourists, but it takes someone who truly loves the island to
appreciate the value of Coral. You’re right, it’s not flashy and pretty. There
are donkeys everywhere and there’s only two good places to eat, but there’s a
beauty beyond the surface stuff here. I like the quiet rhythm of life here. It’s
soothing. Sometimes when I’m overwhelmed I take a drive here and by the time I’m
done, I don’t feel suffocated by whatever was bothering me.”

Justin quieted at her frank admission. Lilah radiated love and
acceptance as her gaze roamed the jungle depths and the cove dotted with boats.
In that moment he saw through her eyes what was so special about something
seemingly ordinary; the diamond in the rough. He thought of New York and how
he’d stopped seeing the beauty of the city a long time ago and simply roamed the
streets with blinders to the wonder and patriotic heritage of one of the States’
proudest cities. He’d love to see New York through Lilah’s eyes, watch her
discover all the things about the city that made it great, like “dirty water
dogs” from a street vendor in Times Square or walking Central Park in the
spring, not to mention the museums and art galleries. Damn, he’d stopped
noticing all those things so long ago.

“Thanks for bringing me here,” he said with a slow smile. “It’s
beautiful.”

Her eyes warmed with sweet joy and she blushed just a little.
“No problem,” she said. “I’m glad I could show you.”

She looked so soft and lovely, almost ethereal as the sunlight
slanted through the open top of the Jeep, bathing her in a golden glow, that he
didn’t stop to think, he just leaned forward and gently took her mouth. Her soft
lips yielded to him without reservation and their tongues met in a gentle yet
sensual dance. His heartbeat kicked up as heat and lust kindled between them
like a dangerous spark in a banked fire pit that drifted on a warm breeze in
search of something to burn. Lilah’s moan pushed him deeper into the void where
only their bodies and the need to touch existed. His hand gripped the back of
her head, slanting his mouth over hers in a raw need to possess this unique
creature who captivated him in a way that astounded his rational mind. But there
was nothing rational about the way they both tore at their clothes, eager to
feel skin on skin. The Jeep was small but Lilah fit perfectly in his lap as she
straddled his thighs and closed her delicate hand around the straining,
desperate length of him.

He felt fevered, perilously close to losing control and
embarrassing himself. “You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever known,” he said,
tipping his head back on a groan as Lilah’s hot core enveloped him in liquid
pleasure. “Oh, God, Lilah...”

Her answering moan as she braced herself and rocked her pelvis
against his erection buried deep inside her, touched off another wave of insane
pleasure as sweat beaded their bodies and the sound of their harsh breathing
filled the cab and drifted into the quiet jungle. “Anyone can see us.” He bit
off a warning growl but truly, he didn’t much care at that moment if they had a
popcorn-munching audience. He was losing himself in Lilah’s heat and gladly
burning alive. She clamped her muscles around him and his eyes rolled back in
his head as she panted with her own pleasure. “Lilah,” he gasped, gripping her
hips and helping her ride him as he pumped against her, grinding against her
until she squealed and moaned and shuddered as she found her release.

He had two seconds to be relieved that he’d lasted long enough
before his own release shot out of him, clenching every muscle in a powerful
spasm that he felt deep within his body, hurtling jets of fluid from him and
into her. “God, Lilah! Ahhh!” he groaned, his fingers curling into the soft
flesh of her lean hips as he filled her. He could feel her body spasming around
him still, milking every last wave and shudder, and then she leaned forward and
rested her head on his shoulder as she caught her breath.

“Oh, God...that was...magnificent,” she admitted with a shaky
laugh and he couldn’t agree more. She pulled forward and bit her lip in a
vulnerable manner as she started to lift herself off but he tightened his grip
on her hips. “Where you going?” he asked. He liked the feel of her hot body on
his, even as his spent manhood slipped from her sheath.

She laughed, the sound soft and playful. “I can’t stay here
like this all day.”

“And why not?”

She blushed. “Because I need to clean up.”

He supposed that was a valid reason, but privately he liked the
idea of his seed on her. It was primal and entirely caveman mentality but the
need to possess her in some way was frighteningly strong. Geesh, he thought
shakily, as he helped her return to her seat and find her bikini bottoms. What
was happening to him? He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so out of
control with a woman. A thought occurred to him, albeit a bit late, and he asked
with desperate hope in his voice, “Are you...protected?”

She laughed. “Of course. I’m on the Pill, silly. Although, we
probably should’ve worn a condom, right?”

“Yeah,” he agreed, but he rushed to assure her, saying, “I’m
totally clean. I get checked every three months. You can never be too careful,
you know?”

She laughed. “Excellent. Well, glad that conversation’s been
covered. Are you hungry?” she asked, settling into her seat and adjusting her
top. “There’s a little place just around the corner that has pretty good
food.”

“I could eat,” Justin agreed, suddenly ravenous. “Hey, what are
your plans tonight?”

“I don’t know, probably stay in. Why?”

His hope dimmed when she didn’t immediately offer to spend time
with him but he didn’t let it show. “I thought we could check out what band is
playing at the Rush Tide and hang out.”

“Sorry, I can’t tonight,” she said, twisting her hair up in a
messy bun before putting the Jeep in gear and rumbling back onto the deserted
and pocked roadway. “But you should go. Rush Tide always has great bands. And
the best drinks. Definitely. Have fun.”

“Why don’t you want to go together? What’s happening back at
the resort that you’d rather do than spend time with me?” he tried sounding
playful but even to his own ears he sounded defensive, which was fair seeing as
he was deeply disappointed and feeling a bit like a leper. He was good enough to
sleep with but not spend any real time with? Good God, he truly was turning into
a woman. “I mean, yeah, it’s cool. I just like hanging out with you. I think the
feeling’s mutual, right?” he asked, fishing just a little. Maybe he was way off
base here. Maybe... Ah hell, he hated this guessing game.

She smiled as she made a quick turn into a tiny eatery, so tiny
in fact, Justin would’ve missed it because it looked like someone’s house, not a
restaurant. “Justin, I thought we went over this. Of course I like spending time
with you.” She lowered her gaze and blushed just a little. “I mean, I don’t have
casual sex with just anyone. I like you a lot, but that’s sort of the problem.
My life—”

“Is complicated and there’s no room for a
plus one,
I get it,” Justin finished for her, a bit irritated that
he couldn’t just let it go. “Trust me, there’s no room in my life, either. But,
we’re pretty good together. We definitely click sexually, why not see where this
could go? Just for fun?”

Lilah’s gaze sobered. “And what happens if one gets more
attached than the other? Someone is going to get hurt.”

Ah, he thought with sudden understanding. She was afraid of
getting hurt. Someone must’ve hurt her in the past. He’d show her that he wasn’t
that guy. He softly knuckled her cheek and said, “I would never hurt you,
gorgeous. I swear it.”

She surprised him with a low chuckle. “I know that. I was
talking about you.”

Justin stared. She was afraid he was going to be hurt? That he
was going to get too attached? Ha. But as a quick denial bubbled to the surface,
he realized, hot damn, she could see right through him. If he didn’t know better
he’d say he was falling for Lilah in record time. Even if he was blind, she
obviously was not. He pulled away and chuckled darkly. “Right. Okay. It’s all
good.” A sigh rattled out of his chest and a scowl threatened even though he
tried his best to smother it under a flippant smile. “I just thought it’d be
cool to get to know each other. But I’m good with just screwing around if that’s
your thing. Trust me, I’m more than good with that.”

And he was lying through his ever-loving teeth.

Hopefully, she couldn’t tell that, too.

“So, where’s that place to eat? I’m starved.”

* * *

L
ILAH
FELT
THE
MOOD
CHANGE
as if it were a physical thing and guilt nagged at her.
Wasn’t it better to be honest?
Well, you’re not exactly
being totally honest, now are you?
A snarky voice countered to her
exasperated self. No, she supposed she wasn’t. But she’d rather preserve the
illusion that she was pushing him away for superficial reasons rather than
because she was reluctant to share her dirty little secret. She could only
imagine how that adoring light in his eyes would dim if she were to tell him
what she’d done only a few short months ago. She heard Dr. Veronica’s voice in
her head, advising her to abstain from any deep romantic attachments while still
healing emotionally and her resolve strengthened by a grim notch. This was
better...no attachments. He would leave St. John with great memories and she’d
go on with her life, healing and growing.

It was the sensible, responsible thing to do. Dr. Veronica
would approve.

So, why did Lilah feel a lead weight in her chest?

Did she feel this way organically? Or was it a product of her
depression? She worried her lip without thought but Justin caught the telling
motion.

“Why are you pushing me away? Something’s wrong. I can feel it.
I know we haven’t known each other long but...whatever it is, you can tell me.
You can trust me.”