Something Wanton (Mystics & Mayhem) (27 page)

“God, Ty, you just walked out the door,” I said, laughing, as I threw the door open.  I kind of froze when I saw Zan standing there instead, one eyebrow arched.

“Oh, hey Zan.” For some reason, seeing him standing there, I felt kind of…guilty.  “Did you need something?”

“No, I was bringing
you
something,” he said, looking past me into the bedroom like he was expecting to see proof that I’d been doing something wrong.  “I take it
Ty
just left?”

“Not that
it’s any of your business, but yes.”  He gave me a ‘What the hell?’ kind of look and I rolled my eyes.  “Tyler and I are just friends, Zan.  Besides, I don’t answer to you or anyone else.  Now, what did you really want?  I’m going out, and I need to get dressed.”

“Then I guess it’s a good thing that I brought you some clothes,” he said, not really meeting my eyes anymore.

He held out my favorite sweater and pair of jeans along with my thick down jacket.  I took them with a frown.  He hadn’t just come across those clothes lying around in Grams’ room.  The last time I’d seen them, they’d been in my closet at Nathan’s.  I started to thank Zan for bringing them to me, but the way he was looking at me made me stop. 

“Be careful, Ember,” he said quietly.  “Sometimes when we’re too close to a situation we don’t see it clearly.  We miss the signs.  Do you understand?”

“Um, no, not really,” I admitted, frowning when his eyebrows dipped in a frustrated scowl.  “What are we talking about here, Zan?”

“Just be careful,” he said again, turning to walk away.  “I’ll see you later.”

I watched him walk back to Grams’ room.  He turned at the door and gave me another sad look, shaking his head, and let himself quietly into the room.  Confused by his behavior, I shrugged off the little nagging voice in the back of my mind that was telling me I needed to pay attention to what he’d said.  I walked over to the bed and threw the clothes he had brought me on top of the covers and stripped out of my borrowed sleepwear.  I grabbed the sweater off the top of the pile and then just froze, staring at the thin, black, shiny cell phone I found beneath it.

Picking it up, I sat down in the chair Tyler and I had just vacated and examined it. The contact list had one number programmed into it, pretty much telling me who my Cell Phone Santa was. There was a flashing message icon and I hit it with my thumb as I sat back in the chair. The message was short and sweet, but it still caused my heart to ache again.

I’m sorry. I love you. Please read the letter.

I glanced back toward the clothes and saw an envelope tucked into the back pocket of my jeans that I hadn’t noticed before.  My name was written on the front in Nathan’s strong, slanting script.  I imagine that my expression was equivalent to what it would have been if I had found a ticking bomb in the same spot.  That was actually a pretty accurate comparison.  Because, to be perfectly honest, that little envelope had just as much destructive potential.

Deciding to just read the damn thing and get it over with, I reached over and snagged the envelope by the corner and yanked it free.  For a second, I just held it in my hands, hefting it like I was testing the weight of what was written inside.  Finally, though, curiosity got the best of me.  I slid my finger under the flap and pulled out the thick stationery inside and jumped backwards when something else fell to the floor at my feet.  Kneeling, I picked it up and examined it.

How many times can a heart break, I wonder?  There couldn’t have been much left of mine, but I still felt it
crack again as I stared down at the piece of wood in my hand, tracing the letters carved into it with my fingertips.

NA
∞ EB.  Inseparable.

It kept coming back to that didn’t it?  Shaking my head, sadly, I sat back
with that piece of wood still gripped tightly in my hand and started to read.

Hello, Baby.

I know you’re angry with me, but I had to try one last time to tell you how much you mean to me, how much I love you.  Since I’m pretty sure you won’t see me right now, this was my only option.

I have so much to make up for.  I didn’t see until tonight just how far I had to go toward making things right with you. 
I don’t deserve you, Em.  I never did.  Not in this life or in any of the ones before. 

I told you once that you were too good for me, but that it wouldn’t keep me from taking what I didn’t deserve.  I meant that then, and I mean it now.  I’m not strong enough to let you go, Ember.  I will never be that strong.  I will fight for you every day for the rest of eternity if that’s what I have to do.

Can you believe it?  Even on paper this isn’t coming out right.  I want to impress you with my eloquence, but instead I give you raw emotion.  Perhaps that’s for the best, though.  You would appreciate honesty more than flowery sentiments.  So, honestly, I’m lost without you.  Honestly, each minute that goes by that I’m not with you, I feel like I’m going mad.

You were right about everything, Ember.  I understand why you’re angry with me.  Only, try to remember tha
t I love you.  I have always loved you.  I am so sorry I hurt you, baby.  The things I did were unforgivable, but I’m hoping you will at least try.

Give me the chance to make it up to you.

Love,                                                                                                          Nathan

There was a part of me, a very
small
part, that said I could forgive everything that had happened to turn us against one another.  I knew better than that. I wanted to be able to just forgive and forget what had happened between us, but I couldn’t. 

But, wasn’t love worth fighting for?  Didn’t I owe it to both of us to at least
try
?  Yes, he had screwed up.  No, he wasn’t perfect.  But, when you got right down to it, he was mine and I was his.  No matter what had happened between us, that couldn’t be changed now.  That was what he had been trying to tell me when he slipped that carved piece of wood inside that envelope.

Four lifetimes I had spent loving Nathan Ashley.  Four different versions of myself and every single one of us had fallen
for him.  No matter how far I ran, I would never be able to escape him.  I could dig a hole to China and bury myself in it, but he would still be there with me.  I could live forever and never see him again, and I would still see him in my mind every day.  I would still wish things had been different, and I would still want what I could no longer have.

Was that really how I planned to spend my eternity?  Always wishing for Nathan?  How long would it be before I started wondering if I should have fought, should have tried to work things out?  How long would my heart ache? 

I didn’t want to spend the rest of my existence dealing with the kind of pain I’d been feeling for the last couple of months.  I didn’t think I could bear that.  Maybe it was time to fight, after all.

“Tyler first,” I whispered to myself finally, unable to make up my mind.  “I owe him that much.  Then, I’ll deal with Nathan.”

I folded the letter and put it back in the envelope with the piece of wood and laid it on the bed.  Once I was dressed, I tucked it in my back pocket.  Even if I decided I didn’t have it in me to fight for Nathan anymore, I thought it was only fair that I return his carving.  That had been his memory, not mine.  He should have it back.  Then, leaving the phone on the dresser, I turned and left the room. 

Tyler was quiet as we drove through the snow.  In fact, everything was quiet.  That’s the really great thing about a blanket of snow.  It muffles the world, turning the loudest sounds soft and gentle.  I didn’t mind the silence.  After fighting with Nathan and having people shoot at me, it was a really nice change.

We turned off the road into what looked like nothing but woods.  My eyes went wide, but I
didn’t say anything.  Tyler’s Jeep was more than up for the challenge of the snow, and the idea of us getting stuck in the middle of nowhere was actually kind of funny, but I couldn’t understand why he was driving us into the sticks to show me whatever it was he wanted to show me.

We’d
been driving for about twenty minutes when he finally stopped.  The scenery didn’t look much different than any other spot we’d passed, but Tyler seemed to think otherwise.  With a mysterious little smile, he jumped out and came around to open my door.  I let him help me out and landed calf deep in a snow bank.  When I started to laugh, Tyler joined me and then gave me a piggyback ride to more level ground.

Tyler had left his headlights on to light our way, and I looked around me, taking in the serenity of the snow-covered scenery.  I felt like I’d been transported into a fairy tale with the snow glittering around us.  It was beautiful and quiet and I felt the tension of the night before draining out of me as I let the spot work its magic on me.

“Where are we?” I asked softly, not wanting to disturb the quiet around me.

“Murphy’s Pond.”  He readjusted my weight on his back and then continued his march through the snow.  “I come out here all the time.  It’s a good place to think or just be alone to let your mind rest.  I’ve spent a lot of time out here since October, even camped out here a few times.”

“By yourself?” I asked, laying my cheek on his back as he continued to carry me through the snow. 

For some reason, thinking of him out there all alone made me sad.  He was too amazing
to be alone all the time.  And yet, the thought of him bringing someone else to that magical spot… Yeah, well, that didn’t sit so well, either.

“Yeah, all by myself” he admitted softly.  “That was kind of the point, you see.  I needed some time away, some time to get my thoughts in order, make the hard choices.  It hasn’t been easy for any of us, beautiful, trying to deal with…everything.”

He stood me on the bank of a small pond that had frozen over and I was tempted to walk out on it and slide around.  He must have seen it on my face because he grabbed my hand and pulled me out onto the ice.  When we stepped onto it, I heard an ominous crack and immediately froze.  In the next second, the ice had solidified into a block so hard you could have driven on it without worrying about it.  I looked up to ask Tyler about it—fire is my thing, not ice—and saw that pretty glow surrounding him again.  It was like his aura, only way more intense, like a protective bubble around him that kept anything from touching him.

“Yes, I did it,” he said, answering my unspoken question with a shrug.  “It wasn’t much. 
That was child’s play compared to some of the things I can do.  I can make you some blades, too, if you really want to skate.”

“What
is
that?” I whispered, reaching into the light surrounding him.  My hand tingled when my fingertips penetrated it and I immediately jerked it back, afraid. 

Tyler grabbed my hand again and brought it to his cheek, forcing me to
experience the full effect of that wonderful, warm, tingly light.  After a second, I was addicted to it.  It made me…happy.  Like,
really
happy.  I forgot all about the problems I had, about all the hurt I felt.  I just forgot and let that wonderful light take it all away.

“That’s just part of what I wanted to show you.”

He dropped my hand and I cried out in protest.  I took a step toward him, desperate for another dose of that bliss.  It had been so long since I had felt that kind of happiness, if I ever had.  I just wanted another taste of it.  Tyler held up his hands to keep me at bay.

“Stay right there, Em.  I want you to get the full picture, then I’ll explain.”

I watched as he backed away and turned around so that his back faced me.  The glow around him started to get brighter and brighter until I had to shield my eyes against it.  When the light finally dimmed enough that I could see him again, my mouth dropped open and refused to close again.  Where Tyler had been standing minutes before there was something else. 

Something with an awesome pair of
wings
!

They had to be every bit of six feet long, and I didn’t even want to think what kind of wingspan the things must have.  They were antique gold in color, like Tyler’s eyes, and they looked
so
soft and warm.  I wanted to touch them so badly that I had to shove my hands in my pocket to stop myself.

“I don’t mind if you touch them,” Tyler’s voice said, coming out of the darkness.
  “Actually, I think I would rather enjoy it.”

I could hear deep amusement in it and my eyes narrowed.  That voice had come from the winged thing! 
I watched, getting angrier and angrier, as he turned around slowly to face me.  When he saw that I was more than a little pissed, he just smiled at me.

A sudden memory of something warm and silky, something that had wrapped around me in a tornado of ash to keep me from being lost to the plane of monsters I had been headed for, flashed across my mind and everything clicked into place.  No human could have pulled me away from Bastian and out of those ashes.  Only something powerful, something
other
could have done that.

Something like a damn
ed
angel
!

“I guess you want that explanation now, huh, beautiful?”

“
Can
you explain this?” I snapped, still staring at the wings surrounding him.  “Go ahead then, Tyler!  Explain to me why you have a nice, fluffy pair of wings!  I can’t
wait
to hear it!”

“Don’t be mad, Em,” he said, laughing.  “I was going to tell you after you had had time to get used to…all the other stuff.”

“Don’t do that, Tyler!” I yelled.  “Don’t treat me like a china doll that will crack under the pressure!  You could have told me
months
ago, but you didn’t, did you?  You just kept evading my questions and outright lying to me when you couldn’t!”

“Wait!” I snapped, backing away from him when he laughed and held his hand out to me again.  “Isn’t it illegal for angels to lie?  I
so
want to talk to your boss!”

“Em,
I
don’t even want to talk to my boss,” he told me, still chuckling.  “Besides, I’m not that kind of angel.”

“Then what kind are you?”
A new kind of heat started to infuse my body, and I knew I was only one step away from going up in flames.

“The fallen kind,” he said, rolling his eyes.  “That means the rules don’t really apply to me anymore.”

As secrets went, it was just too much.  The block of ice under me melted instantly as I went up like a torch.  Tyler sprinted toward me when the ice caved under my feet, but he missed and I sank below the surface.  The only good thing I could say about the experience was that it put the flames out.  My mouth filled with yucky pond water, strangling me, until I remembered to close my mouth and hold my breath.  My clothes weighed me down and I sank like a rock.  The pond hadn’t seemed that deep, but that had been on the bank.  When I hit the slimy bottom, I had sunk at least eight feet.

For spite, I just stayed down there.

Are you coming back up?
Tyler asked patiently when I hadn’t resurfaced after a few minutes. 

I jumped in surprise and gasped, inhaling another mouthful of disgusting water in the process, as his voice filled my mind.  Great.  First Nathan, now Tyler.  Just what I needed, another power I didn’t want.  Perfect.

It’s not your power, Em, it’s mine
, he told me, his thoughts full of amusement. 
Why don’t you come on up here and tell me about hearing Nate’s thoughts?  I’m curious to find out how you’re pulling that off.

No
!
I snapped, angry at him and the universe in general.  Unfortunately, since raging at the universe doesn’t do you a whole lot of good, Tyler got the full benefit of my current not-so-good mood. 
You know, I should tell you
my
big secret now, Ty.  I’m a frigging mermaid!  I’m sure you’ll understand
why
I didn’t tell you!  I mean, I can
explain
after all!

Not only did I hear his laughter in my mind, I felt it echoing through the ice to me.  I saw something move out of the corner of my eye and jerked back, scaring away the fish that had been coming to check out the newest member of the pond.  I shuddered when I realized how many other things could be down there with me.

Come on, Em, don’t be a brat!  You’re going to freeze down there.  Besides, there are snakes and all kinds of nasty things in that pond.  Wouldn’t you rather be up here with me?

I’ll take the snakes!  At least they’re honest about what they are!

I knew how childish I was being, but I couldn’t help it.  Did the people around me never get tired of hiding things from me?  Did I really come off so fragile that nobody could tell me the truth?

Ember?  You
are
still down there, aren’t you?

Something in Tyler’s tone had changed, and I suddenly didn’t feel so comfortable, either.  It wasn’t the cold, slimy water I was sitting in or the fact that I was totally pissed that my best pal was a frigging angel.  No, it was something else, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on what.

Em!  Stay down there! 
Tyler practically screamed about a minute later.  The fear I heard in his voice froze the blood in my veins a whole lot better than the ice water I was floating in ever could have.
  Don’t come up for any reason!  No matter what you hear, stay down there

He
had
to be kidding.  Something was wrong and he wanted me to sit in the bottom of a pond and wait?  Yeah, because
that
was going to happen.

I swam to the far edge of the pond and broke through the ice as quietly as possible with a little help from my powers. 
I winced with every creak of the ice as I pulled my water-logged body from the ice.  Calling up some more power to keep me warm, I crept into the nearby trees.  Silently, I made my way around the pond to where Tyler was standing, his wings quivering with anger and his arms crossed over his chest, glaring at something in front of him with a deadly expression on his handsome face.  Curious, I kept creeping around until I was just to the right of him.

They were fanned out in front of him in a line, weapons in hand, and they didn’t look like they were playing.  I counted eight crossbows, just as many guns, and…no!  One of the men standing there, staring at Tyler in awe, was holding a
flame thrower
!

All that fire power for little ole me?  I didn’t know whether to be flattered or terrified.

“We don’t want to hurt you,” the guy I assumed was the leader said, reasonably.  “Just give us the witch and we’ll be on our way.  You can’t be protecting her.  She’s an abomination!”

I glared at him, insulted.  He was about my
age, maybe a little older.  His dark hair curled around his face, giving him a cherubic look.  His skin was very pale, like he didn’t spend much time in the sun.  The creepy fanatical look on his face told me all I really needed to know about him.  He was a zealot.  His hatred for witches went deep. 

“Call her that again, and I will rip you limb from limb,” Tyler snarled, his wings flexing as he rolled his shoulders.  “She’s not an abomination.  She’s a
person
!  And she is very special to me.  If you want her, you’ll have to kill me first.”

“We can’t kill you!”
the leader howled, furious.  “Nobody can!  Only one of your own kind can kill you!”

“I know,” Tyler said, smiling unpleasantly.  “I guess that means you’re shit out of luck,
Cormac Aldren.  We might have fallen, but we don’t turn on each other.”

“Keep the little firebird,” another man said, stepping forward into the light of one of the lanterns the other men were holding.  “We’ll get her in the end.  For now, we’ll call off our hunt for her.”

I recognized
him immediately from Ainsley’s memories and had to shove my hand in my mouth to keep from screaming.  Ainsley’s
brother
was the witch hunter who was after me?  But, why?  How had he even known I was there to be hunted? 

I couldn’t help but wonder if he had any idea what he was up against.  I wasn’t Kinsley.  Kinsley might not have been able to fight him, but I could—and would.  There wouldn’t be a whole lot left of him by the time I finished with him. 
If he was smart, he would walk away while he still could.

You don’t let someone who’s trying to kill you just walk away,
Ainsley’s voice whispered in the back of my mind.