Somewhere To Be (4 page)

Jamie finally located his grandma and Auntie Mimi seated in a corner, Grandma asleep and snuffling and Mimi looking both wide-eyed and exhausted. Jamie’s dad had been on the phone and had tried to arrange a hotel room for them somewhere, but no luck. Jamie’s heart was already somewhere around his knees after dealing with Steve and Nick today, but it sunk even further at the idea of spending the rest of Christmas Eve in an airport. He hoped they would make it out of here in time for Christmas dinner tomorrow, but he was resigned to missing Christmas morning.

He stooped down to hug his auntie and sat cross-legged at her feet, listening to the tannoy announcements and the general bustle. Jamie was loath to wake his grandma just to inform her they were stuck for the time being, so they let her sleep on.

“So no luck getting out of here, uh?” asked Mimi, looking both hopeful and resigned all at once.

“No, Auntie. No luck. Baba is trying to sort something out, but he forgets sometimes how badly we cope with snow here, I think.” Jamie smiled tiredly up at his auntie.

“Snow, huh?” she mused. Her brow furrowed as she looked him over, and she took his chin in her hand, lifting his face to hers. “You look tired, Jamie. No sleep?”

“I slept okay,” he said. “Just a long drive is all.”

“Jamie,” she said warningly. “There is more.”

He sighed and rubbed his hand over his head. “Just stuff going on with friends.”

“Only friends? No girlfriend?” His family in Malaysia had always assumed him straight, and he did nothing to dispel the idea. Coming from a country where being gay meant being completely ostracized, Jamie figured they’d struggle to get their heads around it, and it wasn’t worth the hassle of explaining. But he never outright lied.

“No, Auntie, no girlfriend,” he sighed.

“You need a nice girl to take care of you. You look too tired,” she said decisively, as though life were that easy.

“I know, Auntie.” He scooted around to lean his back on the wall by her legs and pulled out his buzzing phone. Nick. He’d tried to call once after Jamie had ended their last call, but that was it until now, almost four hours later. Jamie had cooled down, but it wasn’t the time or place. He let it go to voice mail, frowning down at the screen. He knew he’d probably overreacted earlier, let his anger spark the paranoia he’d thought he’d gotten over, but there wasn’t much he could do now. He stroked a thumb over the screen absentmindedly and put it away in his pocket once more, finally realizing Auntie Mimi was watching him with an intense stare.

“No girlfriend, Jamie, uh?” she asked again, her eyes shrewd.

“No, Auntie,” he said quietly, shaking his head slowly with his heart in his throat.

“And that Nick.” She gestured at his phone. “No boyfriend either?”

Jamie stilled and licked his lips. He shook his head even slower. “No, Auntie,” he all but whispered. His eyes darted to look at his sleeping grandma.

“Do not worry, Jamie. She sleeps like dead. But why you haven’t told us before? You know no one will be angry. Does your Baba know?” She took his chin again, even as he nodded.

“Yeah, Dad knows. He’s okay. It’s all okay as long as I’m happy, you know?”

“You don’t look happy, Jamie,” she said softly.

He shrugged at her, and his hand moved toward his phone.

“Go and talk to your friend. We aren’t going anywhere.” She smiled, patting his cheek. “I sleep too.”

Jamie stood and kissed her cheek again, then walked off to find somewhere remotely quiet to make his call. He ended up in a hallway by the bathrooms, but the buzz of voices was still floating around him. He hit Call and held his breath, biting his lip.

“Hey, Jamie. I didn’t think you’d call,” Nick answered, a little hesitant.

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry about that. I got riled up.”

“Understandably. Let me explain a little?”

“You don’t need to…,” Jamie said lamely. He wanted to hear it anyway,

“But I want to. Clear the air and all that.” Nick paused, but Jamie didn’t fill the silence either. So he resumed. “I met Steve through a guy I used to hook up with called Jack. They’d been mates since uni, and we’d go out drinking every now and again. I didn’t know he had a bloke at first.” Nick paused again, sounding almost embarrassed. “I thought he was a right twat, to be honest. Even more so when I found out he had a boyfriend. He’d—well. You know what he’s like, yeah. He tried it on with me a couple of times, even though I was sorta seeing Jack.”

“Sounds about right,” Jamie said quietly.

“Yeah. Anyway, I started seeing him out and about more, you know? I guess you guys must have split up?”

“Mmmhmm. About ten months ago.” Jamie nodded.

“Well, I was pissed one night, stupid really. Bad day at work.” He paused for breath. “Steve came on to me, and we sort of hooked up,” he said slowly.

Jamie felt a little bit sick, to be honest. “Okay,” he said.

“We didn’t… I mean. It wasn’t a full-blown thing, you know? And I wouldn’t have… well, shit. That sounds bad too, doesn’t it?”

Jamie huffed out a humorless little laugh. “Wouldn’t have touched him unless you were drunk? No. That’s not bad. I was an idiot, and I know it.”

Nick hesitated a moment, as if wanting to ask a question but unsure of its reception. Given their earlier conversation, Jamie couldn’t blame him.

“Jay…. Why’d you put up with it?” he finally asked.

“I didn’t know any better,” Jamie replied, deflating against the wall. “I thought it was my fault,” he said quietly.

They were both silent awhile, Nick not rushing in to reassure Jamie, and Jamie was thankful for that. It always felt a bit empty when people said what they were supposed to say.

“You still at the airport?” Nick asked.

“Mmm? Yeah. Stuck here overnight. Hopefully we’ll be out of here in the morning, but honestly, my car isn’t made for bad weather.” It really wasn’t. His little Renault hatchback was light as a feather and had zero traction on snow.

“I hope you make it home for Christmas,” Nick said.

“Yeah. Me too.”

A
T
3:00
a.m. rolled around, Jamie was sitting in an all-night coffee shop, cradling a hot chocolate and wishing he were anywhere but here. His auntie and grandma were both sleeping again, having woken earlier on for food and some good-natured grumbling. In Hokkien, of course, because Grandma spoke zero English. She was always happy, even trapped in an airport in a cold foreign country after a fifteen-hour flight. Her face had lit up when she’d seen him, and he’d felt lighter than he had all day at that, but now they were asleep and he was sitting up with that zombie stare that so many of the people here had. His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he sluggishly pulled it out, frowning when he saw Nick’s name on the screen. At 3:05 a.m. on Christmas Eve? Technically Christmas Day? Why wasn’t he asleep like a normal person?

“’Lo,” Jamie answered, his tongue heavy.

“Hey, I was hoping you’d be awake.” Nick sounded far too perky. “Man, I need a coffee,” he groused happily.

“Why aren’t you asleep?” Jamie asked, sipping his hot drink. “Wish I was asleep,” he mumbled. The airport felt weird and alien this late at night, with people scattered around trying to catch scraps of sleep. It felt like being in a bizarre bubble.

“Had things to do. Hey, so how’s your fam? Get to them okay? I didn’t ask earlier.”

“Yeah, I got ’em. They’re asleep.”

“Think they’d be mad if you woke them?” Nick asked in a little singsong voice.

“Why would I wake them?” Jamie asked, trying to unsuccessfully stifle a yawn.

“Wellll….” He paused, just as the barista hit the switch to steam milk in a little metal jug, the hissing sound rising up in the background. “You’re in a coffee shop, aren’t you?” Nick said in a faux accusatory tone.

“Mmhmm.” Jamie looked around and spotted the name on a napkin. He recited it absentmindedly and swallowed a mouthful of hot chocolate. “S’not bad,” he said.

“Well, no wonder you can’t sleep.”

“Hot chocolate, smartarse.”

Nick laughed a little and sounded a tad breathless, as though he were walking fast. “Well, someone is grumpy in the morning. Good to know,” he teased.

Jamie grinned a sleepy little grin and focused on the rhythmic sounds of Nick walking and breathing.

“What ya doing?” he asked, as the sounds of people picked up behind Nick. “Why are you outside, you crazy person?”

Nick paused, then chuckled. “Hold on a sec,” he said and ended the call.

Jamie stared at the phone, wondering if the call had dropped or if Nick had meant to end it, but his brain was chugging along slower than a snail’s pace, and Jamie honestly felt like he was going to start drooling soon.

Had he been more awake, he would have jumped out of his skin when the chair next to him abruptly scraped on the floor, but as it was, his near-comatose state had him just performing a full body twitch in reaction and turning to look at the creator of the obnoxious sound.

He did startle when Nick flopped down in the seat, though.

“Jesus!” he said, fumbling to put his drink on the table. “Are you actually here?”

Nick grinned and tapped his fingers on the tabletop. “What, you think you’re dreaming me up? I’m flattered.”

“It’s kind of a more likely scenario than you actually being here,” Jamie said slowly. “Like, maybe I’ve cracked in all my sleep deprivation.”

That got a laugh out of Nick, who lifted a hand and displayed a set of keys. With a Jeep key chain attached. “So, one of my hobbies is off-roading,” Nick said with a smile. “If anything is going to get you home tonight, it’s my baby.”

“Seriously?” Jamie boggled. “You drove here to pick us up?”

Nick shrugged one shoulder in an offhand gesture. “I figured your family would want to be together, you know? And I didn’t have plans, so it’s like my good deed for the year.” He smiled. “But you can repay me with a coffee.”

Jamie shook his head slowly, a bemused smile on his face. “Of course. That I can do.” He pushed himself to standing and staggered off to the counter, trying to work stiffness and sleepiness from his limbs. He couldn’t believe Nick was here like this. He ordered him a latte with a double shot of espresso and carried it over carefully, feeling Nick’s eyes on him the whole way. He put it on the table with a couple of sugar packets and a plastic lid but took Nick’s hand as he reached for it. Jamie squatted beside him holding his hand and kissed his knuckles.

“Thank you. So much,” he said quietly. This was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for him.

Nick flushed a little and shrugged again. “Welcome. Now let’s go get your ladies.”

Auntie Mimi was half-awake as they approached, wrapping herself in a cardigan, and she eyed Nick thoughtfully.

Before either of them could open their mouths, she nodded decisively. “You are Nick,” she stated.

Nick blinked and nodded. “Yeah. That’s me.”

He looked to Jamie, who blushed a little and shrugged. Nick grinned at him, and Jamie’s cheeks got even hotter.

“Nick came to pick us up, Auntie,” Jamie said. “His car is better than mine in the snow.”

Auntie Mimi smiled at Nick and patted his chest. “Yes, you’re a good man,” she said, turning to wake up Grandma.

Grandma smiled up at them both and hugged Nick in thanks as Auntie caught her up on the situation. She looked tiny as Nick hugged her back gently, a bemused smile on his face.

He and Jamie hefted their bags onto a trolley, and Nick led the way out of the airport and across to the parking unit, sipping at his coffee and humming as he went. He led them to a small black Jeep with grit and splatters decorating the undercarriage and a few dents on the front bumper. Jamie couldn’t help but grin a besotted little grin as Nick patted the vehicle affectionately and helped to load the bags.

Mimi and Grandma settled into the backseat, strapping themselves in and thanking Nick as he procured two blankets from the back and passed them over. They tucked them about themselves, and Auntie Mimi demanded Nick call them Auntie and Grandma, just like Jamie did. It was fairly customary in their culture to call older ladies auntie, but Mimi meant it fondly.

“It’ll take a while still,” Nick said quietly as they slipped into the front of the car, “but we’ll get there. I can bring you back at some point for your car, when the weather has settled a bit. They’re waiving the parking fees, the security guy said, because of the weather.”

“Awesome,” Jamie replied. “But it’s okay, I can get a coach up. I can’t make you do this journey again.”

“It’s no bother. I like driving.” Nick smiled, petting the wheel. He put the Jeep in reverse and maneuvered them out of the parking unit and into the airport proper. “Sleep some?” he suggested.

Jamie looked back at his family, who seemed contented and verging toward sleep once again. A glance at the clock told him it was three forty-five, and he really probably should sleep, but he felt bad leaving Nick awake to drive. Nick reached over and squeezed his hand briefly, flicking his eyes over Jamie for a moment to smile.

“It’s okay, really.”

He turned on the stereo, and quiet music drifted out. Nick began humming along softly, eyes rapt on the road as he navigated them out onto the newly gritted motorway. The roads were largely quiet and still, and the snow on the roadsides looked fresh white and kind of beautiful. Jamie took Nick at his word and drifted off to sleep, feeling safe and cocooned in the warming car with the sound of Nick quietly singing.

T
HE
SOUNDS
of chatter woke Jamie when they had almost reached Brighton. Auntie Mimi and Nick were talking, with Mimi translating every now and again between Nick and Grandma.

“He spat it right out then and there. His baba was so red in the face we thought he would explode.” Mimi laughed.

“It’s that bad?” Nick asked with a grin, looking to her in the rearview mirror.

“An acquired taste,” she replied. “If you can learn to love it, then you understand the king of fruits.” She nodded.