Song of the Spring Moon Waning (7 page)

"I …" He swallowed again, trying to get some moisture back in his throat. "I'm impressed that you play the liuqin. It's not an easy instrument from what I've been told. Not that I can play anything myself; music is one of the areas I could never master."

"It seems strange," Liu Yi said. "You seem to be able to do everything else, from what I can tell."

Wen Yu looked back up at him, wondering if he was being made fun of, only to see Liu Yi smiling gently instead.

"I don't do everything well." Wen Yu felt himself flush again and rubbed the back of his neck. "Music, I'm no good at, I can't really paint, although I've tried. I am not very good at riding and most sports. I've never been able to hunt." Wen Yu looked up again to find Liu Yi's smile had changed to a teasing grin.

"Good thing you're not called on to do much of that as a scholar bureaucrat."

"It doesn't make me very well-rounded, though, if I can't do art." Wen Yu took a sip of tea.

"You said you wrote poetry. Is not that art?"

"Of course it is." Wen Yu looked out across the still water of the canal. "It's hard." He shook his head. "I don't think of myself as an artist. A true scholar should be able to paint, write poetry, play an instrument, yes, but it is your work with the Classics, your knowledge of numbers and military strategy, that allows you to pass the examinations and gain your position. To think of myself as merely a poet—" He shook his head again, lost for words.

"If you could, would you?" Liu Yi asked. "Just write poetry and nothing else?"

"I love languages, I love the change of learning a new one, I enjoy calligraphy and painting, although I'm not good at it. If I didn't do these things I would miss them, but yes. I could do without the rest of it." He took a sip of tea.

Liu Yi didn't say anything. Did not tell him he was wrong or that he was being irrespirable by not thinking of his family's position and good name.

It made Wen Yu feel bold enough to admit something he never admitted aloud. "Sometimes I think about being a low-level bureaucrat, living in a small town far from the city, concerning myself with the local crops growth and the occasional passing merchant or petty crime. Own a small house like the one I grew up in. I could teach children and train young men who were preparing for the local examinations." He took a breath. "And write poetry. But it will never happen."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm too good at it all—taking examinations and being a scholar. I won't get a job in some backwater town; I'll be placed in the palace more likely than not. Besides, my father would never allow me to be anything less than a palace bureaucrat."

"What does your father have to do with it? He doesn't design your life," Liu Yi snapped, and Wen Yu looked up in surprise.

"I'm sorry." Liu Yi closed his eyes briefly, seeming to calm himself. "I didn't mean it to sound like that, but Wen Yu, you decide what kind of man are, not you father."

It was like he'd be standing at the edge of something for so long, he'd forgotten where he was right up until Liu Yi pushed him off. And, oh, the descent, it was so terrifying, but it also felt like flying. Wen Yu put one hand over his mouth to stifle the small noise that wanted to come out.

"I'm sorry, I said the wrong thing, I'm sorry." On the other side of the table, Liu Yi looked stricken.

"No." Wen Yu shook his head, taking his hand away from his face. "No, it's all right, you were right, you … I needed to hear that."

Liu Yi stared at him before taking a breath. "If it means anything, I think you would make an excellent country bureaucrat."

"Thank you." Wen Yu managed a weak sort of smile.

"Although I will say selfishly I would like to see you stay here in the city." Liu Yi's fingertips brushed his; Wen Yu considered pulling away but left his hand on the table instead. Liu Yi's thumb grazed along the side of Wen Yu's hand.

"I—do you paint or write poetry?" Wen Yu asked, trying to distract both of them.

"Both, actually." Liu Yi shrugged, slowly drawing his hand away from Wen Yu. "I also have been taught history, science, mathematics, politics; anything that might help me with the scholar bureaucrats."

"You paint and write poetry and play the liuqin?" For the first time in his life, Wen Yu felt undereducated and a little untalented.

Now it was Liu Yi's turn to look away in clear embarrassment. "I' m not—it's not as special as it sounds. You … I could never do what you do."

"Trust me, the last thing the world needs is more students trying to work their way through the examinations." Wen Yu rolled his eyes and reached for his tea bowl.

For a long moment, Liu Yi just watched him, lips pursed as if he wanted to say something, then he shook his head and smiled. "True enough. Are you almost finished with your tea?"

"Yes." Wen Yu drained the rest in his bowl.

"Then would you walk with me?" Liu Yi stood, pulling a silk pouch from his robes. He counted out a startling number of coins, depositing them on the table under the watchful eye of the serving boy who seemed to have materialized as soon as Liu Yi had taken out the first coin.

Hesitating, Wen Yu offered Liu Yi his arm, and Liu Yi took it. Together they walked along the stone-paved road that ran next to the canal towards the palace, under the shade of the willow trees.

"Have you thought of marrying?" Liu Yi asked, and Wen Yu's stomach turned over unpleasantly.

"I have," he said, carefully keeping his tone without emotion. "There is a lady with whom I have been friends my whole life. I have considered asking her to marry me if I pass the Palace Examination.

Liu Yi was looking up at him, and Wen Yu found he could not quite meet Liu Yi's eyes. Guilt swamped him as if he'd been lying to Liu Yi somehow, when in reality he'd been doing nothing of the sort.

"Do you love her?" Liu Yi asked.

"She's my friend," Wen Yu said. "One of the most intelligent, practical people I know, but no, I don't love her."

Liu Yi's grip on his arm tightened very slightly. "I would see you happily married," Liu Yi said, looking away towards the canal, now the one not quite able to meet Wen Yu's gaze. "But I find myself grateful that you have not found a love match quite yet."

It was such a blatantly obvious invitation, and Wen Yu felt hot and cold all at once. He looked over at Liu Yi, face turned away from him now.

What have I done?

"Liu Yi …" Wen Yu reached out, pushing an escaped strand of hair back behind Liu Yi ear without thinking of what he was doing or what he would say.

"I should let you get back to your studies." Liu Yi unlinked his arm from Wen Yu's, making him feel unexpectedly bereft. "Study well." Liu Yi stepped close, tipping his face down towards Wen Yu with a small smile, and for a moment Wen Yu thought he was about to be kissed. He sucked in a sharp breath, and Liu Yi stepped away. "I hope we can do this again." Liu Yi tucked his hands into his sleeves.

"Yes." Wen Yu wanted Liu Yi to look happier, hated the thought that he'd made Liu Yi unhappy. "I would like that." He smiled at Liu Yi and was relieved when Liu Yi smiled back.

"Then until next time." Liu Yi gave him a little nod before heading towards the palace.

Wen Yu watched him go until Liu Yi was just a tiny jewel-colored dot among the willow trees. Then he smacked himself on the forehead with the palm of one hand.

"Idiot."

He turned and headed towards his own little room, trying hard not to think about Liu Yi and failing.

The time for the Palace Examination was almost upon them. Wen Yu knew it not only because he kept careful track of the days, but also because the weather was warming noticeably. The trees already bore soft new leaves, and the struggling, bent cherry tree outside his window was beginning to bear the tight little buds that would soon be blossoms.

Wen Yu was bent over his desk, critiquing his older works of poetry, when a tapping came at the edge of his window. Looking up and around, Wen Yu saw a small brown bird. It was not a thrush this time, but another bird he could not place.

"What are you doing?" the bird said, voice high and sharp. "What are you doing sitting there when you should be translating the Moon Poems? You were chosen."

With that, the bird turned and took several little awkward hops across the tile of the roof outside Wen Yu's window, before it took to the sky. Wen Yu sat back and shook his head. He had no idea what to make of this new message; he turned back to the poems spread out across his desk. They were finely crafted; if he tinkered with them any further, they would be ruined. He could go back to studying the Classics, but truth be told, he'd memorized them and every piece of related historical analysis of them a long time ago. Unbidden, he thought of Liu Yi and of the last time he'd looked at the poems. He really should not even contemplate it; no matter what the talking bird said, he did not have the time.

Wen Yu stood and went to find his jacket and boots.

The guards at the smaller gate whispered behind their hands when they saw him, but they opened the gate for him nonetheless.

No one answered when Wen Yu knocked on the door to Liu Yi's rooms, and Wen Yu felt a little foolish. He should have written ahead. Liu Yi had other duties to attend to, after all. He turned and went back out into the street, ignoring the stifled snicker from one of the guards.

Several streets down from the Imperial Palace, Wen Yu found a street vendor selling stew and tea out of huge pots. He had a cup of tea while he sat on a mat on the edge of the street. He should go back to his rooms, write a note to Liu Yi, and keep studying until he received a reply. He wasn't sure what he would say, though, so after finishing his tea and handing back the cup, he started back towards the palace.

This time when the guards let him in, they didn't try to hide their looks and grins.

There were benches set up in the courtyard that hadn't been there last time Wen Yu had come. A group of young women ranging in age from about seven to fourteen sat together on the benches, wearing fine silk dresses with liuqins in their hands.

Liu Yi turned back to the gate from where he'd been facing them, and girls began whispering excitedly among themselves.

"Wen Yu." Liu Yi stood, putting aside his liuqin and gripping Wen Yu by the arm, ushering him quickly into Liu Yi's rooms. "Why are you here? Not that I'm not pleased to see you, but I'm in the middle of a lesson, and I'm not really allowed to have visitors when the ladies are here."

"I've decided to translate the poems." Wen Yu hadn't realized he had really done so until he said it out loud.

Liu Yi blinked and then smiled. "That's wonderful. You can use my desk, but you'll have to wait until the moon comes out this evening."

Wen Yu felt slightly foolish again, since he'd completely forgotten the poems could only been read under the light of the moon. "I'll come back this evening, then."

Liu Yi nodded. "I'm going to finish my lesson." He turned and led the way back out into the courtyard, and Wen Yu headed for the gate, followed by the giggles of the girls.

"I don't understand it," one guard whispered to the other as they let Wen Yu back out onto the street. "Who would have the poor taste to take a bob-tailed dog to bed?"

The other guard snickered, and Wen Yu pretended not to hear, but his cheeks stung as headed back to his room.

*~*~*

Wen Yu made his way through the streets back towards the palace once the sky had begun to darken. Shops and houses alike had hung lanterns outside their doors, lighting the streets where carts and people still passed back and forth almost as plentifully as they had during the day. There was a new guard at the smaller gate, Wen Yu was relieved to see, and he let Wen Yu in without comment.

Liu Yi opened the door when Wen Yu knocked. His hair loose about his shoulders, the yellow light from the lamps inside the room outlined him. Wen Yu was caught by the slimness of his wrist and the curve of his neck. He wondered how anyone could not want to sleep with someone like Liu Yi, eunuch or no.

"Come in." Liu Yi stepped back. "I made us tea."

The box of poems was next to Liu Yi's writing desk, which had been moved over by the window and cleared off, save for some blank sheets of paper, a brush, and an ink stone. After a moment's hesitation, Wen Yu moved to the table and settled in front of it. The shutters were open; soon they would let in moonlight for Wen Yu to read by.

"Here." Liu Yi knelt beside the table and put a steaming cup of tea beside Wen Yu. "Please tell me if there is anything else I can get you."

"I'm fine." Wen Yu smiled at him. Turning to the box, he lifted the lid. He took one of the books from the box and opened it so the pages lay across the table.

Outside, the moon rose, casting a pale light through the window and onto the pages. As they had before, the words began to appear as if floating up through the page. Wen Yu still could not read them, but he began jotting down notes, looking for repeated words and sounds, trying to make out the structure of the sentences. The characters were similar enough that it must have been a related language, Wen Yu reasoned, with variations on sentence construction and maybe a slight amount of character meaning.