Sorrows and Lace (12 page)

He
peered closely at her. “You want me to find your alcohol bottles and throw them away?”

She
sighed in relief. “All. In. House.” He understood.

The effort to speak hurt like a damn bitch. She’d probably just need some honey
and lemon in water, a common sore throat cure her mother had always made her when she’d lived there, both younger and a little older.

Robbie left her in the kitchen to do what she’d asked.

She scratched her arms, digging harder and harder as she realized that she was giving up the one thing that had kept her dull. Protected, if nothing else, her emotions.

Wanting to call out to stop Robbie but unable to, Kelsey closed her eyes and panted to a one-two-three beat. She could do it. She could do it.
Do something. Get the lemon drink ready.

Searching the cupboards revealed a gallon container of honey. She heated water up in the microwave and added a double squirt of lemon juice from the bottle in the fridge
, pouring a generous helping of honey to sink into the cup. Swirling the sweet drink, Kelsey closed her eyes and pictured her mom handing her the honey water, saying, “Tip it back, Kelsey-dear. There’s magic in the bees’ gold.”

Sipping it, she feared she wouldn’t be able to swallow, but the first
few drinks helped more than she’d hoped.

If she could just get her voice back enough, she would call her parents and warn them. She owed them that much.
Loved them too much to even hold a grudge against them for their choice. Hell, honestly? She probably would’ve done the same.

What was taking Slate and Ronan so long? They’d been gone over an hour. Maybe more.

With half the drink gone and starting to feel like a normal human being again, Kelsey reached for the wall phone. She took a deep breath then dialed her Dad’s cellphone number. Nerves danced in her stomach, just under her bruised diaphragm and tender organs.

O
nly a day and a half or so had passed, but it seemed like a lifetime since she’d talked to her father. Her mother. Oh, man, she missed her family.

The phone rang.
She’d be surprised if he answered, usually they were in the garden in the early hours of the morning before the heat struck them and Dad went in to work.

“Hello?” Her dad’s deep voice seemed disinterested,
as if they never received calls at six in the morning – which they didn’t. But the screen on his cell phone would’ve shown the caller ID flashing her name.

Kelsey cleared her throat. “Hi Dad
. Sonny is dead. Devlyn might come after you guys. Be careful. Can you —”

“I’m not scared of him, Kelsey. And I resent you
r suggestion I should be. My family and I are safe as long as we are on the reservation. I didn’t leave. None of us have, except you.” A shriek and then he said. “Hold on.” A slight thud as he set the phone down muffled the sounds.

Rustling
like the wind whipped around the hand piece broke up the sudden crying. Kelsey strained to hear everything. Screaming, wailing, and loud moaning. The screech of tires on pavement. A gun shot.

Someone pick up the damn phone!

Her knees buckled and she fell to the kitchen floor, hands gripping the phone. Eyes staring at the cabinets but trying to see through time and space to her parent’s house, she whimpered.
What the hell was going on?
She gripped the phone so hard, the plastic shell cracked.

The long
, drawn-out keening of her father as he called for Red into the early morning sobered any last vestiges of alcohol she might have had in her system. Grief tore through her. She’d never heard that sound from anyone in her family before. Stark sadness raised goose bumps on her skin.

What had happened to Red?

Ronan waited for Slate to go inside the house before escaping into the barn for a moment. He crossed the painted cement and kicked the far wall with enough force to pop a small hole in the sheetrock.

Standing there, Ronan reached up and rubbed his temples. What the hell was he doing? Was Slate right? Did he only tear people and things down? Had he become some kind of monster that only cared about the idea that Lacey Caverns represented?

Had he become his dad?

Could he have become the one person that he’d promised never to be like? When Ronan wanted to play, his dad had made him work. When Ronan had needed advice, his dad’s answer was always “what’s best for Lacey Caverns?” And when Ronan had wanted to marry Kelsey right out of high school, his dad’s reply had hurt so bad, he might as well have branded him with the red-hot iron he used on the cows.

Ronan was a James. He wouldn’t feel bad about the things he’d done. His job, his mission, in his life was to protect Lacey Caverns and all the land with her. The caverns, the forests, everything that fell within the
land boundaries were under his watch.

He wanted to add Kelsey to that. Bethany had been his father’s choice. Ronan had never been able to get completely into Bethany. She’d schemed to get her way on things and acted like a twelve-year-old girl when she didn’t
succeed.

Nothing would be better than going back in time and telling his dad to shove it after he’d told Ronan to get rid of Kelsey for the sake of the ranch.
But he didn’t have that chance. He’d just killed a man for Kelsey’s safety. What more did he need to do to convince her she wanted to be married to him? Or that he wanted to marry her? She’d grow to love him. They’d cared for each other before.

Damn, why had he said love
wasn’t required? Maybe Slate was right and Ronan’s business demeanor would either destroy him or… shit, it sounded like it was
only
going to destroy him.

Like his need to meet expectations. He’d lost Kelsey before because of his parents’ expectations. Maybe he could keep her, if he met hers.

The attraction between them smoldered, waiting for the moment when it would catch fire and burn through the night and into the years. She’d be the type of woman who would stand by him, if she married him. She wouldn’t leave. And if there were children? She’d raise them like he’d wished he was raised.

But first, he needed to see her face, see the blame that would certainly be there when she
saw at him. He’d just killed her husband – no matter that she’d left him, no matter that he’d beat her.

No, bull shit
. All of it mattered.

Ronan strode from the barn and across the pavement to the house. He opened the door, expecting pure silence demanding retribution for the loss in her life. What he hadn’t been prepared for was Kelsey crying and sobbing
. Her head resting on her arms on the dining table with Ronan’s phone clutched in her hand.

Robbie and Slate
stood beside her, helplessly staring at each other.

“What the hell’s going on?” Ronan covered the distance between him and Kelsey and crouched down beside her. Brushing the hair from the side of her face
, careful not to touch any of the tender-looking areas, he murmured. “Kelsey, what’s going on? Are you okay? I’m so sorry that happened. I don’t…”

She
held the phone out to him, shaking her head.

Ronan lifted the handset to his ear, not sure what to do. He watched Kelsey and said. “Hello?”

Yelling and screaming on a higher volume than what he’d walked in on tore through the earpiece. He spoke louder. “Hello? Hello? Is someone there? Is everything okay?”

Sobbing grew and rustling noises suggested the phone was brought back to the other party’s mouth to talk. “No, nothing is okay. Red is dead. He’s dead.
And it’s all that girl’s fault. She’s no child of mine. My boy is dead.” The gruff voice of Kelsey’s father broke on the last word. He hung up.

Kelsey watched Ronan, tears coursing down her cheeks
, leaving pale rust-colored tracks in the blood Sonny had left on her skin. She hiccupped every few seconds and whispered. “Is he alright? Will he make it? Dad wouldn’t talk to me.” She sniffed, sitting up to wipe at her face with her fingertips.

Shit. Ronan couldn’t answer her. He turned to Slate and Robbie. “Robbie, you need to get to Amelia and Mac and make sure they’re safe. Slate, you find Becky. I’ll contact you
later today or tomorrow morning, even before that if something else happens. Just keep your heads low today, okay?”

The men disappeared as if they’d been itching to run and check on their women. Ronan under
stood better than they knew. He avoided Kelsey’s gaze, choosing instead to search for blood or anything else he could clean off the floor.

“Ronan. Ronan? R.J. Please, answer me. What’s going on with Red?” She moved to stand in front of him.
Crossing her arms, she held her mouth tight.

He didn’t do well with death, never had. But he did well with Kelsey. And she needed him. He wrapped his fingers around her toned upper arms, dwarfing her thin frame in his hands. Her dark brown eyes swam with unshed tears as she peered at him, waiting, and yet not wanting to hear because it would make whatever was so terrible permanent. He’d been through the same thing with his parents. He under
stood the emotions rifling through her.

“Kelsey, Red didn’t make it.” He pulled her into his arms, holding her flush against his chest.
Gripping her tight, he waited for the onslaught of grief to pour over him. He was more than prepared to hold her through her sadness, be the kind of man that she’d want to marry. He needed to marry her. He wanted to prove he could love her the way she deserved.

Love?
It was about damn time he’d let love enter into the scenario. It was about damn time he was honest with himself and his heart.

But even as he waited for her to cry and hit him and scream and shout and do whatever she did when she got terrible news, she reached her arms up and curled them around his neck. His eyes widened and she pulled his lips to hers.

The need, the heat, the sudden longing ricocheted from Kelsey through Ronan’s body. He didn’t want to take advantage of the situation, but he couldn’t deny that he wanted to hold her and return the kiss. Make her burn the way he did.

Maybe he’d give her what she wanted for a little bit and then put a stop to it
before things got out of hand. She didn’t quite know what she wanted at that point, though. What she needed was to be held.

She whimpered, tears still
coursing down her face, the moisture sticking to his skin. Ronan raised his head. She didn’t seek his lips further but ducked her head and pressed her face into his collarbone. Whole body shaking, she cried.

Ronan didn’t even try stopping her. He bent, shoving his arm beneath her knees
, and lifted her off her feet, cradling her to his chest as he carried her to her room. Her panty-clad behind inches from his hands. He wanted to caress the soft skin, but he refrained from entertaining the thoughts of things he would like to do to her. She didn’t deserve to be pressured like that in her grief.

She hadn’t said anything about
her room adjoining to his through the bathroom. He’d taken that as a good sign, but maybe she just hadn’t noticed it.

He placed her carefully on her mattress, drawing the blankets up over her. So early in the morning with so much excitement, she needed her rest. He was more than a little exhausted himself. Since he’d found her at the casino, he hadn’t slept a normal schedule and he could feel it.

Ronan turned to go, but Kelsey grabbed his hand.

Her voice small and sad, she murmured. “Stay with me?” She released his fingers and watched him from red-rimmed eyes.

“Of course.” He dragged a chair over and set it beside the nightstand.

She
shook her head. “No, Ronan. Hold me.”

Kelsey’s gaze
captured him.

He hadn’t held her in years. The part of him that he’d buried so he could say goodbye to her reemerged, excited at the prospect to hold her again. But the part of him that wanted more with her, marriage and a family and Lacey Caverns warned him to be careful. He could hold her, but he needed to be careful not to consummate any acts until he was no longer a married man.
Kelsey deserved that much respect, at least.

Ronan lifted the edge of the bedding. Kelsey rolled over to face the wall, scooting further from him to make room. He kicked off his boots and placed his hat on the
knotted pine bed post. He glanced at the lightening skyline. The sun would be up completely soon and his workers would start their day. But he needed to rest and he was nothing if not thorough in training his hands. They could run the ranch without him around for an indeterminable amount of time. He’d check in, but hell he’d be useless without some sleep.

He
stood there, uncertain, not sure what to do, and felt like a total ass.

Kelsey rolled back to him, searching his face. “What’s wrong? You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s not that. I just…” He
looked out the window again and then back at her.

“What?” Her eyebrows creased in the center above the bridge of her nose.