Sorrow's Muse (4 page)

CHAPTER
FIVE

H
e
was mesmerized by the beautiful woman who straddled his hips. Her long black
hair cascaded down, creating a curtain, closing the two of them off from the
rest of the world. Time slowed as she bent down and pressed her lips against
his. She moaned, rocked her hips against him, and he almost blew his top. Women
never responded to him like this with the lights on or otherwise.

Her tongue slipped
between his lips to duel with his and he moved his upper body off the bed to
grip her hair. The strands felt like silk as they wrapped around his fingers.
He cupped her head, enjoying the tangy, sweet, floral taste that was her. They
parted to suck in air.

“Jay.” Colette’s voice
sounded husky and filled with need as she called him by his childhood nickname.
She pushed him back against the pillows. Her hands skimmed over his body. Light
caresses explored and enticed. His back arched and he bit his bottom lip. No
woman had ever responded to him this way. His cock twitched. Heat bled through
the thin layer of cloth that covered her damp center.

Her exploration moved up
to explore his face, but he didn’t feel self-conscious or tense. It seemed as
natural as breathing. Julian cherished the sensation. Even in his dreams, he
recognized it as rare. “What are you doing with me?” he whispered.

“You always ask me that.”
She chuckled and shook her head. “Because I lo—”

*
* * *

Julian woke from his
dream in a cold sweat. What was it about this woman that got under his skin? A
pang of guilt came over him. He’d been an asshole at the grocery store, but the
last thing he wanted to do was encourage her. Being a pity project for someone,
no matter how gorgeous, wasn’t part of the plan.

His dick ached painfully.
The scenes from the dreams were fresh in his mind. Her lips were petal soft,
her flesh felt like silk and her hands had been everywhere. He eased his cock
out of his black boxers, gripped the rock-hard shaft, and stroked. His eyes
shut and he increased the speed. Liquid flowed from the tip, rolling down to
coat his hands and act as a lubricant. His breath came in pants. His eyes
rolled into the back of his head as his balls drew up and his body quivered. He
gave a hoarse cry as he reached the pinnacle and spilled sticky white substance
into his hand.

Julian collapsed back
onto his pillows and caught his breath. This crush was getting out of hand. He
rolled over to his side, grabbed a shirt he’d discarded on the floor, wiped off
his hand, and forced his sleep-deprived body out of the bed to plod to the
bathroom. After a quick shower, he tossed his dirty shirt into the hamper and
crawled beneath the covers.

The last time he’d had
sex with another person had been a hasty encounter in a darkened room over a
year ago, when one of the gold-digger types who was friends with Paul’s fiancée
who attempted to worm her way into his graces. He hadn’t fallen for the ploy,
but he let her ease the ache and push the loneliness at bay for a night.

He groaned and rolled
onto his stomach. It felt like he was back in high school, rubbing one out to
daydreams of the hot girl in school who would never give him a second chance.
He clenched his eyes shut and willed sleep to come.

*
* * *

Julian gripped the mug of
coffee in his hands and peered out the window, down at the lawn where Colette
painted. His sleep had been sporadic at best because of this woman. He took a
sip of the dark roast and peered over the rim. She was a mystery. He had a
million things he needed to do for work in his studio upstairs, yet here he
stood. He scowled.
Ridiculous.
It infuriated him that after all this
time, he still hadn’t learned his lesson. He didn’t get the same opportunities
as other people.

Colette’s head tipped up,
and she beamed when she spotted him at the window. She placed her paintbrush on
the easel, waved and beckoned him with a crooked finger.

He nodded. What else
could he do now that he’d been caught in the act a second time? It was best to
play it off as though he’d been trying to catch her eye.
Can I do it? Damn,
I wish I’d never run into her at the grocery store.
He held up an index
finger to give the universal signal for ‘give me a minute.’ This woman either
had superhero-like senses or he needed to learn how to be stealthier.

Julian walked into the
bathroom and peered into the mirror. He did have a bit of a tan, which always
made the scarring look less gruesome. He wore a pair of black jeans, a gray,
long-sleeved button-down he’d rolled up to his elbows and a black vest with
gray pin stripes He looked good.

Opening his medicine
cabinet, he pulled out a bottle of Play, and gave himself two squirts. This was
about as much
swagger
as he ever mustered. It’s time to go get this
train wreck over with
.
He took a deep breath, turned from the mirror,
and made his way out of the house. The breeze from the ocean did nothing to
soothe the heat covering his body.

His Converses slapped the
pavement as he walked the short distance to her house.
Funny, they’ve never
made so much racket before.
He came to a halt a few feet away from where
she stood.

She glanced up. A spark
of happiness flickered in the depths of her dark brown eyes and she grinned.

He felt weak in the knees
and dazed. Is this really happening? He didn’t get reactions like this! Let
alone from a woman like the one in front of him. His stomach twisted. Could she
know who he was? No, that scenario was unlikely.
Perhaps she’s just a
nice lady looking to make friends. Why she’s barking up his tree was beyond
him.
You are the closest neighbor she has.

Did she expect him to
start the conversation? They studied each other for a heartbeat that stretched
out for an eternity before she spoke.

“It’s about time we got
together somewhere other than Albertsons.”

The musical tone of her
voice hit him like a bolt of lightning. He wanted to close his eyes so he could
savor every word. The rolling lilt sounded like a siren’s song luring him in
like something he’d heard before—perhaps in a dream.
This is why you need to
get away from her. Getting attached is just asking for trouble.

She delivered a playful
wink meant to ease the awkwardness.

Julian struggled to
remain polite. He could play nice for the next five minutes. “Yeah.” He gave a
nervous chuckle and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans.
I
probably sound like an idiot.
“I—uh—saw you painting and I couldn’t keep
myself from sneaking peeks and trying to capture a glimpse.” He motioned toward
his house.

She took a step back and
gestured to her canvas. “You’re welcome to look. Unlike some authors, I don’t
mind sharing.”

She seemed so nice, it
made it impossible to snub her without feeling like an asshole. Being mean to
people who were actually
nice
to him wasn’t his style. He’d been on the
receiving end of nastiness too many times to do that. Instead, he kept them at
a distance. He moved around to stand beside her and almost gasped.

Her work was picturesque.
It looked as though she’d taken a snapshot of the view of the ocean and the sky
littered with clouds.

“This is beautiful.”

“Thank you.” She ducked
her head.

The shy action intrigued
him. It seemed at odds with the saucy greeting which labeled her as bold and
outgoing at the grocery store. Interesting, his mystery woman has layers.

When she spoke to him,
her eyes remained locked with his. No small feat, considering.

His confidence rose just
a bit as he continued to monitor her for negative responses. “You’re welcome.
I’m sure you’re sick of hearing this, but where are you from?”

“Originally, Greece. I’ve
been in the States for quite some time. I used to be roomies with my big
sister, but she wanted to go home and I wanted to stay. So here I am, trying to
figure out of if the arts are what I truly want to do with my life.”

“You certainly have the
talent for it.”

“Thank you. Can you give
me a rundown on our neighbors?”

“A lot of trust-fund kids
and independently wealthy types who keep to themselves. We’re the only artistic
types.”

“Oh, what do you do?”

“I compose music.”

“Wow! That has to be an
interesting job.”

“To say the least.”

She laughed.

He waited for her to ask
whom he’d worked with and if she knew any of his compositions, but she moved on—his
involuntary infatuation and appreciation grew.

*
* * *

I can’t believe I just
pulled that off!
Colette was on cloud nine. She twirled
around in a circle as she reached her room. She’d managed to talk to Julian
without making an ass of herself and unless she was misreading things, he
seemed to be warming up. She’d been confident, flirtatious and if the Fates
were in a giving mood…interesting.

The wary look in his eyes
faded a smidge more every time they talked.

She dashed into her room
to contact Dite. She’d want to hear all about how her hard work had paid off.
She sat down at the vanity bench.

The mirror rippled to
reveal her big sister, Calliope. Her amber eyes flashed. Her lips were pinched
and the brow of her heart-shaped face looked furrowed. The time of avoiding her
was over.

“Hey, big sis.”

“I cannot believe you did
this, Colette!” Calliope crossed her arms under her bust, which heaved with
every deep breath she took as her nostrils flared.

Colette cringed. “I had
to.”

“No, you wanted to.
There’s a huge difference.”

“He’s my soul mate.”

“You can’t know that for
sure! Is this one human worth risking everything? Julian is balanced just on
the cusp of being hopeless. The odds aren’t good for the two of you. What were
you thinking? His career is all he has to keep him grounded!”

“Calliope, it’s not a
given that I’ll go insane if he chooses his career over me.”

“Your connection to him
is what got you
her
e in the first place. Can you really tell me it
wouldn’t bother you to see him choose his music and forget you exist, or worse,
sink so far into the darkness, he can’t come back?”

Her stomach plunged. Her
left eye twitched at the thought of him harming himself or turning to drugs or
drink.

“See what I mean! You’re
young and you haven’t really learned how to separate yourself completely. I get
that. We’ve all had humans we care too much about. This isn’t the answer.”
Golden-brown curls flew as Calliope shook her head from side to side. “You need
to stop while you’re ahead. It’s not too late to come back home. One word and
we can make him think this was all a dream.” Her eyes were wide and hopeful.

The sincere concern
etched on her sister’s face made Colette want to agree to walk away, but her
stubborn heart wouldn’t let her. “No! I can do this. There’s always been a bond
between us that surpassed that of a Muse and her human. You know that!”

Calliope shook her head
and sighed. “For your sake, I hope you’re right.” She glanced over her
shoulder. “I have to go, but we’ll be in touch.”

The mirror returned to
its normal state and Colette slumped. The conversation had been a huge
buzzkill. Doubts she’d buried, floated to the forefront of her mind.
Damn
you, Calliope!
She twisted a thick lock of hair around her finger as she
chewed on the inside of her cheek. Her sister might have lacked tact, but her
concerns were very real. What if this didn’t go the way she’d envisioned?

I’ll just have to make
sure that doesn’t happen.

CHAPTER
SIX

J
ulian
rang the doorbell to Colette’s condo. He tried not to fidget as he waited for
her to answer.
Somehow, their daily conversation yesterday had led him
to coming here now. The woman had him breaking all the rules he’d set in place
to keep what was left of his heart intact.

I think her voice has the
power to cast spells, at least over me. What is so special about this girl?

She seemed sweet enough.
Her humor made him laugh and her skill inspired creativity. It should’ve been a
win-win situation, but it made him wary. He’d be a fool to get caught up in his
crush and think she wanted to be anything more than friends.

How did I get myself into
this?

*
* * *

“What other passions do
you have, other than painting?” Julian asked.

“As cliché as this is
going to sound, music. It’s such an amazing venue for really expressing what
you’ve been through—in this universal format everyone can understand. Songs and
albums have captured everything, from moments in time to heartache and reaching
rock bottom. To me, music that comes from the gut, the soul is like an oral
history.”

“Exactly...” he
whispered. “That’s why I do what I do. What kind of music do you like?”

“All kinds, as long as it
moves me in some way.”

“Good answer.”

“I actually have a vinyl
record collection. Maybe you could stop by and see it sometime.”

He knew his eyes must be
bugging out. Is this
Be Kind to the Weird Neighbor Week
? Someone should
have told him. “Oh, I wouldn’t want to bother you.”

“It could never be a
bother. Time spent with a fellow music lover is a privilege. Besides, aren’t
you supposed to make friends with your neighbors when you move to a new place?”

He smiled. She had him
there.

“If you’re sure, I’d love
to.”

“Good. I should get back
to painting now, but I wondered if this Friday would work for the vinyl
records.”

“Sure, I’m free.”

“Around noon?” she asked.

“I’ll see you there,
Colette.”

“Wonderful! I’ll see you
then.”

“Bye.”

*
* * *

The door swung open and
he was pulled out of his memory and inside the condo by a grinning Colette.

“I’m so glad you’re
here.”

She hooked her arm in his
and guided him inside her place. Her breast brushed against the side of his arm
and his desire grew. The aloofness he’d planned to invoke was shot to hell.
Even if this is a pity friendship, he would enjoy it while it lasted.

God, I’m sad. But she’s
so enchanting and sincere.
She radiated warmth and compassion.
If being too close to her singed him in the end, it would be worth it. Other
than his sham of a relationship with Beth in high school, the only thing he’d
ever had with women were casual friendships, or fumbling hands and unsatisfying
sex in the dark. It felt good when he found his release, but it never went any
further than that. This has the potential to be so much more. Even bitter, he
recognized that. They got each other on a level that wasn’t easy to come by.
It sounded great in theory, but the idea of opening himself up made him
balk.
Keep it light and casual, so this won’t steamroll you when it all goes
to hell and crashes and burns. Soon, she’ll have other friends and you and
this...whatever it is will be a distant memory.

He gave what he knew
might look like a strained smile and switched the direction of the
conversation. “So, where are those records?”

“Up in my room, beneath
my record player. I like to keep the things that mean the most close to me.” She
glanced at him from beneath her lowered lids.

Julian gulped. He cleared
his throat, uncomfortable with the strange vibe that permeated the area. “I can
understand that.”

She rolled her eyes and
tugged him toward the stairs. “Come on.”

It felt almost too
intimate seeing her bedroom. When they cleared the stairs and headed to the
left, he found himself taking a large gulp when she twisted the brass knob on
the white wooden door and pushed it open.

A large king-size bed sat
in the middle of a room identical to his own in setup, but completely different
otherwise. The light blue bedspread offset by the white furniture with pink
floral accents.

“Come over here by the
window.” She led him to two comfy chairs with a standalone record player
between them. “Have a seat.” She gestured toward the tan chair, releasing his
arm and he sat down. She took the seat on the other side of the record player.
“When I can’t get inspired, this is where I turn to. What kind of music do you
want to start off with?”

“Your choice.”

“Hmm.” She riffled
through the albums. “How about I choose one of my favorites?”

“Sounds good to me.” He
relaxed into the seat as she put the record on and the strains of Cheap Trick’s
“I Want You to Want Me” reached his ears.

*
* * *

She searched his face for
a flicker of recognition when she played her fourth song. If “In Your Eyes” by
Peter Gabriel didn’t make him think she was interested, nothing would. Colette
sighed. She wasn’t sure if he was clueless or flat-out stubborn. She glanced
over at him and smiled. At least he seemed relaxed in her presence now. it’s
progress, even if it was minimal. A part of her wanted to do something bold,
like kiss him, but she knew it’d be the worst thing she could do.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, it’s just such a
good song. It’s been a while since I’ve listened to it.”

“Songs like this one are
timeless. It’s amazing how well he captured this moment. It takes you to that
sensation of unrequited love.”

“Have you ever felt that
way about someone?” she asked.

“Oh yeah, dozens of times
when I was young. How about you?”

“Once.”

“Wait, what? What man in
his right mind wouldn’t notice you? Or was it a woman?” he asked. His face
flamed.

She chuckled and shook
her head. “No, a man—a wonderful, witty, sexy, talented man who doesn’t know I exist.
Mostly, because he doesn’t give himself enough credit. I don’t think he
believes he’s my type.” Their gazes locked and he shifted in his chair. She
willed him to understand the hypothetical person was him.

He cleared his throat.
“Well, I hope it works out for you. You deserve to be happy, Colette.”

“So do you.”

He tensed and she knew
she’d pushed him as far as she dared. “What should we listen to next?” she
asked.

The mood in the room
lightened as talk returned to music