Sorrow's Muse (2 page)

She peered over the hill
at the Hippocrene River below and grinned at the sight of Dorieus. A whistle
brought his head up, and he whinnied when she waved. He unfurled his snow-white
wings.

With one thrust of his
feet against the ground, his magnificent form took flight.

“Hello, my friend. Are
you up for a flight?” Colette called up to him.

Dorieus landed in front
of her. His head bobbed up and down in agreement.

She offered him a smile,
reached out and stroked his smooth flank. He whinnied in pleasure. She gave him
one last pat before she twined her fingers in his mane and pulled herself up to
mount him. “I need to go to Aphrodite’s, my friend, as fast as you can manage
it.”

She closed her eyes as
Dorieus broke into a run to gain speed before he took to the sky. The wind
ruffled her dress and blew back her coal-black hair. Her stomach dropped as he
zigzagged thorough the sky. Dorieus nickered, and she laughed out loud. By the
time they reached Aphrodite’s palace, she was refreshed and windblown.

Aphrodite is love
embodied. She’ll help.

It’s a shame Aphrodite
was mistaken for a fickle, bitter woman because of the nature of the very thing
she is worshipped for, love. In reality, Dite is a pleasant person to be
around. Normally cheerful, unless she was feeling sullen, she keeps up with
fashion, current trends and lived to play matchmaker. Sure, she’s a bit on the
vain side, but being worshipped for your beauty for so long would do that to a
person.

Colette dismounted.
“Thank you.” She patted Dorieus on his side, rested her forehead against his
for a few moments, and turned to walk to the ivory dome with gold detailing.
Despite the passage of time, Dite always remained true to her roots.

The large wooden doors
swung open to reveal Aphrodite. Tall and willowy, with peaches-and-cream skin,
delicate features, waist-length blonde hair and blue eyes the color of
midnight, she is always breathtaking. Her emerald-colored gown cinched at her
tiny waist, belling out and falling down to the floor, where an impressive
five-foot train trailed out behind her.

“Sporting the blonde look
today, Dite?”

“The humans do say
blondes have more fun, and I grew tired of the red.”

Colette giggled and
leaned forward to exchange a hug and quick kisses on the cheeks. “It’s good to
see you. It’s been too long since I left the mountain.”

“Yes, but we’ve learned
not to take it personally when you Muses get too caught up in your work.” Dite
shook her head. “Come in. Enjoy some wine and ambrosia with me. You know I hate
being alone, and other than my maidens, the house is empty today.” She gave a
mock pout that made Colette laugh as she followed her inside.

When Colette was younger,
she’d thought Aphrodite lived a glamorous life. Dite took lovers whenever she
wished, made it her business to spread love and all with the freedom to travel
at will. One of the drawbacks of being a Muse was the fact that she was fixed
to Helicon, and the buildings that housed the scrying mirrors. Trips away could
be few and far in between. It made them all stir-crazy from time to time. That
was part of why this vacation had been initiated. Such a modern concept seemed
silly, but it’s in their nature to assimilate to the times.

She followed Dite through
the elegant dwelling, admiring the high vaulted ceilings. Exquisite paintings
hung on the walls, and black-and-white marble flooring with veins of gold
running through it gave the space a regal feel. Various stone statues greeted
Colette from alcoves. Their range in style and subject were like a swift trip
through time. Urns and pots were displayed on pedestals, some made of clay and
others covered in jewel patterns. It was a feast for the eyes.

They came to a stop in
the circular sunroom. Light filtered into the glass dome that showcased a
beautiful blue sky full of plump clouds. They sank down on two seats side by
side. One of Dite’s maidens brought them a bowl of grapes, ambrosia and red
wine. The scarlet chaises were made of the softest material she’d ever touched.

Once they were settled
and the maidens departed, Aphrodite turned to face her with a serious
expression on her face. “You know I’m always delighted to see you, but the air
around you is heavy. What has happened?”

Colette paused, not quite
sure how to proceed. “It’s Julian.”

“Ahh.” Knowledge
flickered in her eyes, and she smiled. “I’ve been waiting for this moment for
some time.”

“What moment?” Colette asked.

“The moment when you
realized he’s more than just a human you’ve taken a special interest in because
of his painful past. There are people in this world who have the potential to
be good, no—fantastic together. I can see it, you know, the threads weaving
them together. You and your dark knight have always been connected by
silver-colored lines.”

“Is that good?”

“It could be. The most
powerful link there is, but
how
you choose to use the connection is up
to the two of you.”

“How is that possible
when he doesn’t know who I am?”

“That’s why you’re here,
isn’t it? To figure out a way to go down to Earth, live as a human and be with
him. Am I correct?”

“Yes.” A weight seemed to
lift from her shoulders as she shared the burden of truth. Keeping it in had
begun to eat her from the inside out with every passing day.

“Why come to me and not
Eros?”

“I know he’s your son,
and I love him dearly, Dite. I don’t always trust him with matters of the
heart, though. It’s a game to him.”

“You’re right.” Dite
sighed. “He doesn’t
love
love
the way I do. But he’s young, still
learning and never met his match. You have to completely surrender to love to
fully grasp its power.” A sly smile appeared on her face. “I have it on good
authority his time is coming.”

Colette wanted to ask
more, but time was ticking down, and she felt anxious to know what, if anything
Aphrodite could do. “Will you help?”

“Because I truly believe
you and Julian are soul mates, I can grant you the chance to go down to Earth
and get him to fall in love with you. In the end, it’ll be his choice, and if
he says no...you know the rules. ”

“Yes, I have to continue
my service as his Muse for the rest of his life.”

Aphrodite nodded. “Having
said that, I need to remind you Julian is not your average thirtysomething
male. He’s been hurt his entire life, doesn’t trust easily and honestly
believes love is something he will never experience.”

The words solidified her
decision. “How long would I have?”

“A year for him to reach
his decision, knowing the truth about who you are and that choosing love would
mean the end of your influence on his talents.”

“What happens if he
chooses love?”

“Then you can live your
life as a human for the duration of Julian’s life span, or if Zeus permits, you
can offer him ambrosia and extend his life.”

“How will I survive in
the modern world? I have no money or job…or talent.”

“I will take care of all
that, little Muse.”

“Tell me what I need to
do,” she whispered.

Aphrodite beamed, and
Colette swore the sun shone a bit brighter.

“I’m placing you in an
Aphrodite-approved condominium with everything you’ll need, from clothing to
identification. You’ll find a scrying mirror, so you can contact anyone in
Olympus or on Mount Helicon. That way you can continue your
musing
.
Think of it as a working vacation.”

Colette closed her eyes
and took a deep breath. It’s now or never. “I’m ready.”

“Good. Focus on Julian.” Aphrodite
snapped her fingers, and the world begin to spin around her.

Colette closed her eyes
tight, picturing his vibrant hazel eyes. A cool breeze circled around her,
ruffling her dress. Her body tingled and a strange feeling of weightlessness
came over her. A buzz began in her ears. Her stomach protested as dizziness
hit, throwing her off balance. She swayed, balling her fists, digging her nails
into the fleshy meat of her palms to stay grounded and keep the contents of her
stomach in place.

“Relax, Colette, you’ll
be just fine,” were the last words she registered as unconsciousness took her.

CHAPTER
TWO

J
ulian
glanced at his watch and swore.
I need to get going.
The last thing he
wanted to do was leave his apartment before the sun went down, but with Paul’s
busy schedule, he had no choice about when the appointment needed to be.

I should be pleased.
Paul was his manager as well as his friend. Being busy meant his career was
going strong. Julian loved being able to share his work with the world, but
public appearances and promotions weren’t an option. The damage done by the
fire was too gruesome. As a songwriter, they were supposed to be a necessary
evil, but he’d chosen to buck the system and go the harder route. Without
promotion, his career had moved at a snail’s pace, but his soul remained
intact.

He agreed to meet the
artists he worked with because bonding with them was a part of the creative
process. When he was writing a song for someone, it helped to know whom they
were and what they were about.

The other appearances he
flat-out refused, even going so far as to write it in his contract. It would
only cause pain and anguish to put himself in front of the press. He ran his
fingers down the scarred and misshapen skin that made children point and stare,
women gasp and avert their eyes, and men cast him pitying gazes.

He used to waste time
being upset about it, but now, he  simply felt tired. If he could make himself
completely invisible to others, he would.

 Others told him he
should be proud of surviving the horrific fire that should’ve taken his life,
always spouting a bunch of bull about remaining positive and ignoring what
negative people had to say.

He would nod and act like
he agreed, but continued to live the way he saw fit. Unless people existed in
his reality, they couldn’t possibly understand what it felt like.

Julian wasn’t ashamed of
his scars, but he hated having to explain how he got them, and the reactions
they invoked. Society was shallow these days. In a world where obese people
were ostracized, he was a freak to the fifth power. Covered from head to toe in
the remnants of fourth-degree burns that had almost taken his life, he was
going sour like a carton of milk left too long in the refrigerator. If he
weren’t one of the top songwriters working right now, he wasn’t sure where he’d
be. The money he made allowed him anonymity he’d never ever dreamed about as he
traveled from orphanage to foster home and back between surgeries.

He placed the black
fedora on his head and walked to the door. A light cardigan covered his marred
arms, and his chin-length light brown hair provided him with a buffer that kept
people from looking too close, depending on their nearness.

The temperature was in
the mid-seventies, with a slight breeze to take the edge off before it got too
warm. The weather was one of the many reasons Julian loved the San Diego Bay
area. The city ran at a much slower pace than L.A., but was close enough for artists
to drive or fly to him.

When he was just starting
out, he’d made the move to L.A. It became one of the loneliest periods of his
life. If it hadn’t been for his angel, he would have left before he made the
connections he needed and gained enough clout and clients to make the move back
to his hometown. Just the thought of the woman who lived in his memory was
enough to make him smile.

He could still hear her
voice as clearly today as he had all those years ago when he lay in the
hospital room fighting for his life and in excruciating pain. She promised she
would be with him every step of the way, and to date, she’d kept that vow. She’d
never spoken another word to him, yet he felt her presence.

She became the comforting
weight that boosted his confidence, strengthened him in times of weakness and
eased the empty cavern left by a lack of romance and scarce interpersonal
relationships. He liked to think she would be proud of the things he’d
accomplished and the man he’d grown to be.

God, listen to yourself,
sounding like some lovesick sap still waiting for his dream girl to materialize
out of thin air.

Even if the voice had
been a concoction his pain-fueled three-year-old brain dreamed up, it kept him
going on the days he wanted to give up.

He reached the restaurant
and went inside. The maître d’ offered a smile. “Welcome back, Mr. Sorrow. Your
usual table is ready, and your party has already arrived.”

“Thanks, Robert.”

He liked Black Tie, he’d
been coming here for years, and they always treated him with respect. Robert
led him around the corner to a private alcove where Paul sat perusing the menu.

Paul’s head popped up as
he approached the table.

“Thanks, Robert,” Julian
said. He took a seat across from Paul at the square table just big enough for
two.

“You’re welcome, sir.
Enjoy your dinner.” Robert walked away.

Paul leaned in to speak  with
his voice lowered, “How you doing, Jay?” Paul was one of the very few who
called him Jay.

Julian sighed.

Paul was the only family
he had, which meant he pried. They’d been placed in the same foster home in
high school and formed a bond that withstood the test of time. There was no one
else he’d trust with his money.

“Same as always this time
of year.”

Paul frowned. “You need
to see someone—”

“Been there, done that.
As long as I’m not ready to jump out of a window or something, the grief is
normal—they all agreed.” He averted his eyes.

When the anniversary of
the fire came around, he always felt raw and undeserving. Why should he not
only survive the fire, but find fame and fortune while his parents and his
sister had perished? He might never know the answer to that question. It became
one of the things that drove him to spread positivity, hope and love to the
world through his music. His way of giving fate the finger. Julian feigned
interest in the menu in his hands. He could feel Paul’s heated gaze on him.

The waiter arrived to
take their order before conversation could begin. Julian ordered steak,
mid-well, with a Caesar salad and a loaded baked potato.

Paul ordered fettuccine
Alfredo. “How you been?”

Julian set down the menu
and smirked. “Since last Wednesday when I saw you? I’m fine, working on a new
song.”

“What? I worry.”

“I know,
Dad
. I told
you, Paul, I’m okay. It sucks, and I will always be gutted about what happened
to my parents, but if there’s one thing we know how to do, is to keep moving.”

“True.” Paul released a
deep breath, his body relaxed, and he slumped in his chair. “Um, Jay? Do you
want me to go with you to their grave site?”

Julian paused. “You know,
I think I’m going to go it alone this time.” It almost seemed like a tradition the
two always went together, but this time he wanted to go solo.

Paul’s eyebrows
disappeared beneath the fringe of his shaggy dirty-blond hair. His dark blue
eyes were wide and full of surprise. He fell silent for a moment, and then he
nodded. “You know where I am if you need me.”

“I do.”

The waiter returned with
their drinks as the serious moment was lightened. Paul took a sip of his Coke
and cleared his throat. “I called this meeting because I received a
career-changing call yesterday evening. Rocco Stone wants to work with you
exclusively on his second album.”

Julian’s jaw dropped.
“Are you serious?”

“As a heart attack.”

“Wow—he’s the hottest
name out there now in the pop industry! Everyone is waiting to see what he’s
going to do for his sophomore album.”

“I know. He loves your
work, and he’s confident you’ll make sure he doesn’t fall into the sophomore
slump category like so many others have.”

Julian shook his head in
awe.
Is this really happening?

“This has the potential
to put you on a whole other level, Jay. You’ll kill the album. I’m not worried
about that. Music is what you do best. They said they had a few other people in
mind, but it could’ve been a scare tactic.”

“You want to make them
sweat it out?” Julian asked.

“Yeah, and to make sure
we don’t seem desperate. This would solidify your genius and staying power.”

“You seem uncertain. Why
didn’t you say yes on the spot?”

“Rocco is a high-profile
client. I can’t guarantee the press won’t be out trying to catch a glimpse of
him and capture you. We both know that would lead to reporters digging into
your past and airing whatever information they could get their greedy little
hands on.”

Julian lowered his head.
He’d known this day would come, when his reclusiveness would clash with the
world he worked in. A knot twisted in his stomach and pulled taut.

“They want to shop around
before they commit to anything, so you have time to decide. I’m behind you
whatever you do, Julian. But between me and you, this is the kind of
opportunity that might not come again for years, if ever.”

Julian felt relieved when
their appetizers arrived. It gave him a respite from conversation. The rest of
the night was spent in the company of his best friend. They were able to work
and remain friends because they knew how to keep the two worlds separate. Some
bleed over was unavoidable, but they managed it.

“All right, let me know
what you decide.”

“I will.”

Paul patted him on the
shoulder, and they went their separate ways outside the restaurant. Paul would
go home to his stunning petite brunette girlfriend and a two-story home with
four bedrooms and two and a half baths. Julian would return to his empty
condominium. Granted, it was nice, but nothing replaced people.

The air seemed chilly in
the twilight that settled as the orange globe sank down into the horizon. He
shoved his hands into the pockets of cardigan. Julian loved Paul like a
brother, and after the life they’d both lived, he’d never begrudge him the
happiness he’d found. He just wished he could find a little bit of it for
himself, outside of his career.

Stick to your music,
Sorrow. It’s all you have to offer anyone.