Sorting Out Sid (15 page)

Mandira finished dumping two stacks of papers on the table. Sid struggled to sit upright on Brownie. Beanbags were not meant for this kind of paper-sorting work. After a couple of attempts to remain comfortable and yet be able to reach the table, Sid finally gave up, and slid off Brownie with an exasperated sigh.

‘What?’ Mandira turned to him sharply. ‘You don’t want to do this? You think I really want to? You think that figuring out our finances is too boring, and a waste of your time?’

Sid took a deep breath and said with as much dignity as he could muster, ‘Brownie was hurting my bottom. That’s why I sighed. Any other accusations?’

Mandira stared at him for a few seconds before turning back to the table. In a businesslike manner, she said, ‘Apart from the regular finance-sorting, I want us to start maintaining proper accounts for the household spends also. We should make sure that it’s all being shared equally.’

Now it was Sid’s turn to stare. ‘Wait a minute. You’re saying that stuff like the groceries, the gas bill, and all that? How does it matter? It’s not even worth it. I don’t care, I’ll pay for it all. It’s only another three months anyway.’

Mandira’s face reddened. ‘Are you throwing your money in my face? I don’t need your fucking money. I get paid as much as you do, don’t forget that.’

‘So you pay the entire amount then, na? I’m just saying it’s only a fraction of our salaries, why should we sit and count every individual item? Now that
is
a waste of time.’

‘Listen, I said I want to share the expenses equally. Neither of us should ride on the other. We owe each other nothing now, and that’s how it should be.’

She was trembling with anger. Sid could see that she was on the verge of crying, and they hadn’t even begun the painful exercise that the damn accounting was sure to be. He suddenly had an irrational urge … He felt like holding her and comforting her, pulling her close and breathing in the fragrance of her shampoo. He remembered those brief moments a few years ago when they had been able to comfort each other. Without fully realizing what he was doing, he reached out to her.

Just as he was about to make contact, she recoiled sharply. ‘Don’t you dare hit me, Sid.’ Her scream echoed off the walls, and her eyes were red and wild.

Sid froze, balanced on his knees with his arms stretched out towards her. He stared at her helplessly. In fifteen years of marriage, he had never dreamt of raising a finger on her. And now, things were so bad that she could mistake an attempt to hug as an attempt to hit. The unfairness of it all hit him like a tidal wave and suddenly he felt as if he would break down and cry himself. But of course, he couldn’t. He simply gave himself a moment, and then said, ‘Mandira, I wasn’t going to hit you.’

She nodded, looking miserable. Sid could see that she knew it. There were just too many complex and bitter emotions attached to this separation.

He said carefully, ‘Okay, let’s just do the accounts for everything, okay? Whatever you want.’

Her eyes were red and she stared unseeingly at the papers for a long time. She then spoke slowly, ‘Let’s not do this today. We’ll start earlier in the day tomorrow.’

She didn’t look mad, just sad. He didn’t try to stop her. She quickly gathered up the papers and stuffed them back in the files. She stood up, the files clutched tightly to her chest, and went into her room without another glance at him.

3

The Big Day

‘S
o, the news is out, eh? You’re all Vee-Pee-Shee-Pee types now, eh?’

Sid glanced up to see his colleague Varun
–
whom he often inwardly referred to as Podgy
–
standing by his desk, waving his Blackberry. Sid knew Varun was talking about the email from HR announcing Sid’s promotion. Only about three minutes ago Varun had rushed to the loo, past Sid’s desk. Only a mere two minutes since the email arrived and Varun had sauntered out of the loo straight to Sid’s desk. Sid stood to accept his congratulations, reluctantly shaking his podgy hand while fervently hoping that Varun had washed up well.

‘Thanks, thanks,’ Sid said, thinking once again how nice it would be to get a cabin befitting his new elevated status. Hopefully one that was not next to a loo.

‘So, I guess you’re getting quite an increment, eh?’ Varun asked, not even trying to hide his curiosity.

It was in fact a significant jump, but, of course, Sid wasn’t about to reveal that. He said, ‘Oh come on … There’s a reason they call it an increment, it’s only incremental … ha ha.’

After a second Varun gave a loud, phoney laugh and Sid matched it with his own Funny-Sid-at-Work laugh. After about a minute of this forced laughter they both sighed loudly in unison.

‘But still,’ Varun pressed, ‘it’s quite a move up, eh? What are some of the additional perks? Tell us, we Associate VPs, or rather
aspiring
VPs, should also know what’s in store when the good days finally come to us.’

This guy isn’t going to let up, Sid thought, exasperated. Actually, he didn’t know too much about the perks. He had other things on his mind, including the fact that his mother had called earlier in the day, announcing that she and Papa intended to visit Mandira and him. Mandira threw a hissy fit when Sid mentioned this to her. Her reaction perhaps had something to do with the fact that he had still not told them about the divorce.

‘How the hell do you expect me to behave normally with them now?’ she railed at him, ‘I can’t pretend we’re still together!’

Sid wisely refrained from pointing that her behaviour towards his parents, especially his mother, hadn’t been too warm even at the best of times. Instead he told her that this visit would be a great opportunity to tell his parents about the divorce, in person. Mandira wasn’t convinced and continued to mutter in an agitated manner throughout the morning. It hadn’t been pleasant.

Sid saw Varun looking at him expectantly. Why didn’t old Podgy just go away?

‘Perks?’ he repeated blankly and decided to try his usual diversionary tactics. He leaned over to Varun, who also unconsciously leaned in, eager to get this privileged information.

Sid whispered, ‘The biggest perk, I must tell you…’ He suddenly raised his voice several decibels, making Varun jump. ‘… is the executive washroom, posh and clean. You know, that’s why they call it Vee-pee!’

Varun blinked at him. Then he gave another wild, desperate laugh and Sid added his own fake one to it. After about twenty seconds of this, Sid looked at his watch and said, ‘Oh shit, got to go. Meeting.’

Sid trotted away, pretending not to hear what Varun was saying about a treat being due. He walked with quick, purposeful steps even though he had nowhere to go at the moment. He felt annoyed at having to leave his own desk to get away from his intrusive colleague. He felt grumpy and wondered what was wrong with him. This was his big day and he was supposed to be happy. Promotion! The youngest VP in the company, perhaps in the history of the company. Big achievement. He was dimly aware that people around him were trying to catch his eye, probably to congratulate him
–
or perhaps to ask him about his revised salary, he thought. Sid lowered his gaze and hastened his steps as he crossed an area crowded with people standing around their cubicles. He passed them safely, still walking quickly with his head down. Only when they were right under his nose did he see the strappy pink sandals peeping out beneath the purple sari. He almost bumped into her. ‘Sorry, sorry,’ he mumbled, and then registered who it was, ‘Oh, hello.’

‘Hel … lo,’ Meenakshi said, making it sound more seductive, Sid thought, than that foreign hotline he had once tried as a teenager. Meenakshi had stepped up her attention towards him over the last couple of days, ever since the board meeting confirmed the decision to promote Sid to
the company Leadership Team. He was now officially more senior than she was.

He replied, ‘Hello,’ then realized that he had already done that part, and felt like an idiot. She didn’t seem to mind and just gave him a wide smile, revealing those large distracting gums. Then she batted her eyelashes at him, adding, ‘I was just coming to see you.’

‘Oh?’

‘I want to discuss the induction plan for your new role and also show you your new office.’

‘Oh, thanks. Is it ready?’ Sid was pleased at the prospect of seeing his new office. ‘But … induction plan? Why? I’ve been in the company for three years. I know everyone, I know the business, I don’t think I actually need…’

‘It’s due process, Sid,’ Meenakshi said smoothly. ‘It’ll be a chance for you to reorient yourself, in a more senior capacity now, and everyone will get the message about your enhanced role.’

Meenakshi was standing rather close to Sid. That perfume of hers was nice, although a bit overpowering. She had the kind of smooth, long hair that he really liked. He’d always had a weakness for the long-haired variety. In her heels, Meenakshi stood only an inch shorter than Sid, which felt about the right height. Sid realized this thinking was going in the wrong direction
–
his marriage may no longer exist, but Meenakshi’s did. Not that it seemed to guide her behaviour, but still. He took an involuntary step back and away from her.

‘Uh … er … okay, so, let’s do the office thing?’

Meenakshi smiled coyly at him and, tossing her long hair over one shoulder, said, ‘Yes … let’s do it.’

Sid followed her to the elevator. As they stood waiting, he studied his Blackberry with a frown as if reading some
important emails, trying to avoid a conversation with her. They got in, and she pressed the button for two floors above
–
the ninth floor. I can’t believe I’m actually moving up to the Ninth, thought Sid. He waited for the feeling of ecstasy to hit him, but the only thing that hit was the usual churn in the stomach as the lift speedily transported them up to their destination.

The VP floor! Sid had been here a few times, mostly to meet Akash in his cabin. Sid preferred handling him alone, protecting his young team from him as much as he could. Meenakshi walked purposefully, the tick-tock of her heels echoing in the silent hall, leading him to a cabin a few doors away from Akash’s. She opened the door and swept in. Sid followed her, looking around in awe.

It was large, airy, sunny with huge windows that caught his fancy at once. This was about as green a view as one could expect in this part of Noida. Everything from here looked quaint and almost pretty, even the three cows that Sid spotted on a dusty side road some distance away.

He turned his attention to the inside of the room. The wooden desk was large and polished, and the leather chair looked impressive. Sid even had his own bookshelf now. It was all very … VP-ish. It didn’t matter that this was almost an exact replica of Akash’s office. It was his own
–
his palace. Wait a minute. Sid did a quick mental scan of the floor plan, based on his previous visits. Yes, he reconfirmed
–
no loo in the immediate vicinity. Hallelujah! Now, where had he been? Ah yes, this was his palace. He was a king.

So why then was it that deep inside he still felt nothing?

Meenakshi was watching him and he realized she was waiting for his reaction. ‘It’s nice. Good, GOOD. Thanks,’ he said, automatically. Meenakshi reached out and touched
his forearm. He glanced nervously at it. Why did her hand always feel so cool to the touch? And why was she always touching him?

‘Sid,’ she said, tossing her hair again and looking up at him with concerned eyes, ‘what’s wrong?’

‘Wrong? Why would anything be wrong? I’ve been promoted and I’m very happy. Ha ha.’ He forced the fake laugh out. Her face changed, and she put on a little pout and said, ‘Well, then, at least now you should take me out for that coffee.’

‘I will, I will. Soon, soon.’ He wished she would remove her hand from his arm. In desperation, he went on, ‘Later this week, we’ll set something up.’

Meenakshi looked satisfied at this proposal and smiled at him again, exposing those white teeth and red gums once again. ‘Well, I’ll leave you here to enjoy your new cabin.’ She squeezed his arm in parting and murmured, ‘Oh and by the way … Congratulations, Mr Vice President.’ Somehow, Sid got the feeling that she didn’t say this kind of thing to vice presidents like Akash. He simply nodded and was relieved when she released his arm, finally.

Meenakshi turned and sashayed out of his office. Sid exhaled heavily, shook his head and walked over to his new desk. He looked around at his new cabin again.

Come on … Big office … Big promotion. Sid tried to pump himself up again. Where was that feeling
–
of excitement, of happiness … of something besides this numbness?

Aha! The answer came to him in an instant. That’s what it was … He hadn’t shared the news yet with anyone who really mattered. Well, he would remedy this immediately.

Strangely, the first person who came to his mind was
Mandira. Which was crazy, he couldn’t call her given how things were. Actually, he couldn’t ever call her again about stuff like this. Sid chuckled mirthlessly at the irony of it. Only a few months ago, Mandira was angry that she wasn’t the first to hear about the possibility of his promotion. And now that the promotion had finally happened, he had automatically thought of calling her first despite the impending divorce.