Sorting Out Sid (29 page)

The doorbell rang and Neha’s smile widened. It was him. She hurried out of the kitchen, but Kippy beat her to the door. Kippy knew Sid was coming and she had been waiting excitedly for the last hour, bouncing around while Julie tried in vain to get some dinner into her.

‘Wait a second Kippy,’ Neha called out. ‘Let me open the door for him, please.’

Kippy reached out to the latch on the door, crying, ‘Me open-a door! Me!’ Neha was surprised to see that her daughter
was already tall enough to reach the latch on tiptoe. Time really flew. Kippy struggled with the latch for a moment or two before giving up and turning to her mother.

‘
You
open-a door Mummy?’ Kippy suggested sweetly as if it had just occurred to her.

Sid’s voice floated through the door, ‘Hellooo … anyone hoooome?’

Neha grinned, Sid knew very well they were home and he could hear them working with the latch. Neha opened the door and said, ‘Heyyy, Sid.’

He grinned and was about to say something but Kippy propelled herself forward and hugged him around the knees. Sid teetered but managed to hold upright the large box he was carrying. ‘Hello, Kipster.’

‘What’s that?’ Neha enquired, mock-despairing. Sid had taken to bringing something with him almost every time he came over.

‘Cake. For Kippy. And for us too.’

Neha took the box out of his hands. Kippy had obviously registered the word ‘cake’ because she lost interest in Sid and followed Neha into the drawing room. Sid walked in behind them, sniffing appreciatively. He said in an uncanny imitation of Bugs Bunny, ‘What’s cookin’, Doc?’

Neha called over her shoulder, ‘It’s pasta, Sid. Will you give it a stir? It needs another couple of minutes.’ She placed the cake gingerly on the table, trying to ward off Kippy who was clawing eagerly at the box. ‘Kippy, wait, I’ll open the box…’

‘Sure, sure,’ Sid muttered as he went into the kitchen. ‘Always makes me do the cooking … a man can’t get any respect around here.’

Neha giggled despite her struggle to keep Kippy from smearing cake all over the table.

Sid whistled softly as he stirred the pasta. He was a little overenthusiastic with his efforts and that caused bits of pasta to spill over onto the floor. Deciding that Neha’s spotless kitchen could not be besmeared thanks to his clumsiness, he bent over quickly to retrieve the pieces he could see. And it was thus he found himself at close to eye-level with the beady-eyed reptile on the floor. They saw each other at the exact same moment.

‘Yaaaaaaargghh!’

His shriek made Neha jump and she managed to get more cake on her hands than even Kippy. Her heart was racing as she ran towards the kitchen, shouting, ‘What? What happened?’

Julie came scurrying in from the other room and followed close on Neha’s heels. Both were forced to ignore Kippy who delightedly began to shovel cake into her mouth with both hands.

Sid shot out of the kitchen, narrowly missing colliding with Neha. He shouted at her, ‘A lizard … a bloody lizard!’ He stared accusingly at Neha and demanded, ‘Why didn’t you tell me you’ve got lizards in the house? Are you frickin’ NUTS?’

Neha wrinkled her nose. ‘It’s not a
pet
, Sid. Where is it?’

‘There! Right there!’ Sid pointed, his finger trembling. He hated lizards with a passion. They gave him the creeps like nothing else.

Neha peered at the floor and eventually spotted it
–
a tiny baby lizard who blinked beatifically at her as if to say it wondered what all the fuss was about. Julie allowed herself a little smile but it disappeared before anyone saw it.

‘Are you serious?’ Neha demanded. ‘You’re afraid of
that
? It’s not even as big as my little finger.’

‘Neha, please don’t,’ Sid said with feeling, ‘I swear, I’ll never be able to look at your little finger the same way again.’

Neha shot him a look of disbelief before stalking into the kitchen. The movement frightened the baby lizard and within a second it disappeared into a crevice under the kitchen sink.

Sid shuddered. At least it was now out of sight.

Sid became aware of Neha glaring at him, half-amused and half-annoyed. Damn! After that crack about men not getting any respect around here, he better make good for the shrieking. He gave her his most winning smile and said, ‘Ready to try my pasta now?’

‘Dhishoom … dhishoom,’ Kippy’s baby voice floated in from her toy room.

‘Dhishoom … dhishoom?’ Sid raised his eyebrows at Neha. They both sat in the drawing room after dinner. Kippy should have been tired by now but she seemed to have got her second wind, charged up with Sid’s presence. ‘That’s not very little-girly. What’s she playing? You trying to turn her into a warrior like yourself?’

Neha smiled. ‘I’m only half-warrior types, remember? And the Coorg bit is only one-fourth in her. But yes, I certainly don’t want her to be a namby-pamby.’

‘Well, then you’re lucky I’m here. A manly man’s influence is sure to toughen her up,’ Sid said, running his fingers over his French beard. He called out, ‘Kippy! Come here! Let me show you the difference between an uppercut and a nice left hook.’

Kippy came running into the room, clutching a doll. She was handling it rather roughly, carrying it by its long, blonde hair.

Sid stared, aghast. ‘Is that … the Fashion Barbie I got her?’

The Fashion Barbie that he had brought for Kippy had been dressed in a princessy, pink frock. There were accessories that were to be put on, including two pairs of dainty shoes
–
one pair purple and the other blue. Sid remembered checking at the Lucknow Airport store to ensure that they included the promised hairbands, extra handbag, hairclips and hairbrush too. But now, the doll merely had the tattered remains of the dress left on it, and none of the pretty accessories were anywhere in sight.

Neha caught sight of his dismayed face and her expression hovered between guilt and amusement as she said, ‘Er … the thing is … I
might
have told her this was … uh … Kickboxing Katie.’

Sid stared incredulously at her as Neha continued, ‘Well, look, I still don’t think Barbies are appropriate playthings. A kid’s whole notion of beauty could get warped with that kind of exposure.’

‘Neha…’

‘Yeah?’

‘Please. She
is
just a little girl, you know.’

Neha sighed and shrugged in a gesture that suggested she was giving up. Sid inclined his head graciously and got up, taking Kippy by the hand and leading her into her room. In a couple of minutes they were back with the original Fashion Barbie box. Neha was well-organized and kept Kippy’s toys with military precision.

Sid sat down on his haunches and carefully took out all the Fashion accessories. He started to explain to Kippy what each one of them was.

‘The first thing we’re going to do is comb poor Barbie’s nice hair … what? No, it’s not Katie … Okay … fine … Fashion Katie’s hair…’

Kippy watched with interest as Sid slowly transformed the doll as close as he could to her original, princessy avatar. Neha couldn’t help smiling as she watched the two of them, heads close together and bent over the doll.

Evenings with Sid around were always full of fun and laughter. Tonight her pasta had been a big hit
–
both Sid and Kippy had enjoyed it fully. Neha had to admit that it was more fun cooking when there was a third person around, particularly when the third person was Sid.

‘There!’ Sid handed the doll over to Kippy. She took it in her little hands and stared with awe at the now dressed-up and suitably accessorized Barbie. Sid grinned, and turned his head towards Neha, hoping she saw how pleased Kippy was with the transformation. He was watching Neha’s bemused face and that’s why he didn’t notice Kippy take a couple of steps back and then come running up at him to ram the Fashion Barbie up his nose.

‘Dhishoom …
Dhishoom
,’ Kippy squealed.

‘Kippy!’ Neha was horrified as Sid teetered on his haunches, lost his balance and fell backwards.

‘I’m okay, I’m okay,’ Sid said from his position, lying spreadeagled on the floor. He had managed to shield his face at the last possible moment.

‘I’m sorry,’ Neha said, giving Kippy a glare that made the little girl stop in her tracks. Kippy’s lower lip started to quiver.

‘Hey, it’s okay,’ Sid said soothingly as he sat up again. ‘She just got a little excited.’ He patted Kippy on the head, but she still looked sad. ‘Come on, Kipster, cheer up. You’re stronger than all the little boys I know. How did you knock Sid uncle over? Like this!’ He pretended to fall over again and lay flat on his back.

Kippy squealed in delight and took the opportunity to jump right on top of him. Neha’s worried frown cleared up. The next few seconds were complete pandemonium.

‘She’s taken to you quite well,’ Neha remarked after order had been restored. ‘I wouldn’t have thought it.’

‘I told you,’ Sid said with a superior air. ‘Kids love me. They can’t resist good ol’ Sid-uncle.’

He caught Neha gazing at him and gave her an exaggerated leer, ‘And, of course, even the aunties can’t resist good ol’ Sid-uncle.’

‘Did you just call me an aunty, Sid?’ Neha asked indignantly.

‘You,’ Sid said with complete sincerity, ‘are the hottest aunty around for miles.’

‘Shut up, Sid.’

‘Okay.’ Sid knew it was sound advice.

Kippy yawned.

‘Let me try putting her to bed today?’ Sid suggested.

‘It’s okay. It’ll take me only ten minutes,’ Neha said. ‘As it is, it’s now way past her bedtime, she’ll be out soon, and needs only a couple of things … her story…’

‘I can tell stories! Hey, Kippy, did you hear the one about the sardar who…’

‘And her nappy changed…’

‘Go for it.’ Sid hastily settled back into the sofa, picking up his hitherto neglected beer can. ‘And hurry, it’s way past her bedtime.’

Neha rolled her eyes and picked up sleepy Kippy to take her inside and put her to bed.

‘So you like working in advertising?’

‘I do, mostly.’ Neha sighed. ‘Except for dealing with you client-type people. At least it’s creative.’

They were both sitting on the floor, leaning against her sofa. Neha had her head on his chest and the faint scent of her shampoo tickled his nostrils. Sid couldn’t recall feeling happier than this. Neha continued, ‘And it pays the bills, right?’

‘You’ve been painting?’

Neha raised her head and grinned with pleasure. ‘I’m still putting the final touches on the Gate.’ Sid smiled at the memory the word brought up and she continued, ‘I think I’ll be done with it in a few more sittings.’

‘You should try and be more regular. You’re a true artist.’

Neha crinkled her nose delicately and Sid watched the halfway bump, mesmerized as usual. ‘I have to prioritize my time, Sid.’

‘Hmmm…’ Sid’s voice was sympathetic. ‘I know it’s difficult for you … being a single, working parent…’

She interrupted him. ‘It’s not that bad. You know I never need sympathy for having to care for Kippy or for separating from Kapil. They are the best things that could have ever happened to me.’ She seemed to sense that she had cut him off rather abruptly and added in a more gentle manner, ‘You know, a few years ago I took a whole year off from work, just for kicks, and finished almost one painting a month. It was great.’

‘Where are they?’ Sid demanded. ‘You’ve only got about six in here…’

‘Gave the rest away.’

‘What? Not
sold
, but gave away? To whom?’

‘Friends … neighbours, I can’t recall now … whoever said they liked them.’

‘You’re insane!’

She shrugged. ‘It made people happy. Art is meant to be enjoyed.’

‘It is meant,’ he said sternly, ‘to be treasured … to be valued.’

‘Quit scolding me, I’ve stopped giving them away now,’ Neha said lightly. Sid didn’t push the point.

After a lull, she asked him, ‘So tell me, do you like
your
job?’

‘Love it.’

‘Toilet marketing?’

‘Toilet cleaner marketing.’

‘You really like it?’

‘I hate it,’ he admitted for the first time ever to someone besides Brownie.

‘So why don’t you quit?’

‘Arrey! I’m doing very well here. I’m already a VP!’